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> Manipulated by a guy, just a rant?

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TSa_little_angry P
post May 12 2022, 06:53 PM, updated 3w ago

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From: Taiwan
One night I decided to go on Bumble to find someone who would be compatible with me.

This guy cute and tall, walao my type! Tattoo that look good and I felt like I clicked well wit him?
He show me post of people talking bad about him online, bringing down his rep as a bartender, and he was always angry and sad.
He keep telling me how people judge him becos he is mixed (malay and Chinese) and he is always attacked.
I pity him of cos, i give him all my attention, all my heart, i took care of him, i helped him as much as I can to make him feel better.

At the beginning:

1- He act like i am the only one. telling me that he is only seeing me (we were not couple) BUT turns out he has others on the side
2- He is always jealous, no matter what. I cant talk to my normal friends at all
3- He guilt trip me, always crying and making me feel bad
4- I paid for everything, he only thank me a few times, only thing he paid was like rm3 for 7-11 stuff
5- everytime he is depressed or stress, i do my best to take care of him and then ignore me for my own problems
6- he always defend himself only, and shit talk about other people


I know is my mistake for falling for someone like this, but i have a lot of love to give and i want to give.


Toward the end:
1- he was stress about money, me being stupid, i borrowed him because he tried to open the window to jump
2- I know what he does, i sleep with him, i know dat he wake up and on phone to see message and he never replies me after i borrow him
3- He still fight whenever i ask him something simple. anything I say, he will reply with "Dont you know I am busy?" but when I see him at work, he is on whatsapp or talking to coworker for fun.
4- He talk to other girls so friendly, but when he talk to me, sound like he wants to fight.


Again, I know is my mistake that I fell for him. Now I am short of some money because I trusted the wrong person.

Should i even post his Instagram? Alot of other girls seem to also fall for him and kena his tricks.
Location: Penang island


(some) MAN ARE TRASH
djlake
post May 12 2022, 07:18 PM

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Reading this, I felt horrible. I am a male, and I know my kind. Your Bumble partner is a weak man. There are many weak males out there. Most probably due to bad parenting.

It will be good to expose him (for other girls to be aware of) and ensure that you have everything recorded as a backup. But it will be limited to that realm, i.e. exposing him. As for legal actions, I doubt so, this is harsh, but everything will be seen as consensual. There is not much you can do. I may be wrong; maybe others can help you out regarding legal actions, e.g. police reports and such.

Other than that, take this as an experience. You've suffered, and you will endure it. Please don’t blame yourself, you weren’t expecting it, and you didn't want any of this to happen to you.

You will grow from this and be more tactful when it comes to relationships. As you have mentioned, men are trash, and many weak trash men are out there. Be careful whom you fall for.

You will overcome this. Time will tell.
TSa_little_angry P
post May 12 2022, 07:36 PM

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Joined: May 2022
From: Taiwan
QUOTE(djlake @ May 12 2022, 07:18 PM)
Reading this, I felt horrible. I am a male, and I know my kind. Your Bumble partner is a weak man. There are many weak males out there. Most probably due to bad parenting.

It will be good to expose him (for other girls to be aware of) and ensure that you have everything recorded as a backup. But it will be limited to that realm, i.e. exposing him. As for legal actions, I doubt so, this is harsh, but everything will be seen as consensual. There is not much you can do. I may be wrong; maybe others can help you out regarding legal actions, e.g. police reports and such.

Other than that, take this as an experience. You've suffered, and you will endure it. Please don’t blame yourself, you weren’t expecting it, and you didn't want any of this to happen to you.

You will grow from this and be more tactful when it comes to relationships. As you have mentioned, men are trash, and many weak trash men are out there. Be careful whom you fall for.

You will overcome this. Time will tell.
*
I really appreciate this and everyone I know had help me calm down. I wouldn't say his parenting is bad because I know for sure his mom is a nice person but her son came out broken.

He has given me the ultimate PTSD of my life, the past few months I was too aware about any male around me and that I could not trust anymore. A slight dream of him would lead to a whole day of depression and bad mood.

I agree that I was too careless as I have always wished to eventually settle down with someone who would love me back, fool me once, shame on me. So never again will I rush into any relationships!



Ralna
post May 15 2022, 04:02 PM

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Joined: Sep 2012


QUOTE(a_little_angry @ May 12 2022, 07:36 PM)
I really appreciate this and everyone I know had help me calm down. I wouldn't say his parenting is bad because I know for sure his mom is a nice person but her son came out broken.

He has given me the ultimate PTSD of my life, the past few months I was too aware about any male around me and that I could not trust anymore. A slight dream of him would lead to a whole day of depression and bad mood. 

I agree that I was too careless as I have always wished to eventually settle down with someone who would love me back, fool me once, shame on me. So never again will I rush into any relationships!
*
Sorry to hear that you met a thrash. He's obviously just using you. I hope you have cut him off and started to focus on yourself. You need to forgive yourself and love yourself again, and fully heal from the pain. It might take some time to be alright, so give yourself time. Do some healthy and happy hobbies that make you happy and feel fulfilled.

In the future, when you are ready for a relationship again, please get your female friends to assess the situation and the guy(s) you're seeing. Protect yourself okay.

Take care.



 

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