I am however, personally frustrated with my sex life, because she is not into sex. She has a very healthy menstrual cycle and she never has menstrual cramps. She doesn't experience pain while doing it either. Whenever I ask her if her job is stressful, she said no and is already considered comfy compared to the jobs we had in our 20s.
She is just simply not interested in sex. And whenever she does it, it feels like "pity sex" which makes me feel more miserable.
It's been 3 years since we had our last sex. I don't want to feel like a sex maniac, but I must admit I am extremely sexually-deprived. I never resorted to cheating, having affairs or soliciting prostitutes because I feel it's a taint to our marriage.
I am not asking for a lot, once a week I believe is enough to keep my sex health in check. I am also not asking for professional porn performance, as I know that is fake. However when I watch amateur porn (real life couples that are not professionals), they enjoy the sex so much and it makes me feel I am missing out a good sex life, possibly for the rest of my life.
Whenever we do it, she doesn't allow saliva on her skin so I can only "dry kiss". I am also not allowed to ejaculate on anywhere else but her belly (sometimes inside during infertile days). She also used to perform oral sex on me but has stopped for many years. And she doesn't allow me to perform oral sex on her, or finger-penetrate her. Our sex can be described in this order, we hug and kiss, I make her orgasm (by rubbing outside with fingers), she rides on top, then finish with missionary, every single time. No doggy or other positions and absolutely no sex outside bedroom. I don't have premature ejaculation or "soft" issues, and my tool is standard-sized, neither too small nor too huge. At times she complained that I am taking too long to finish (because I get so little sex, deep inside I wanted a session to last longer).
In summary, no sex for years, if there is sex it is very specific and "templated" where a lot of things are not allowed.
Other than sex life, we are on good terms with everything else in life. Sex toys cannot save me because I have tried and it just does not feel the same where a woman desires you and enjoys having sex with you.
Am I doomed to suffer a "dead bedroom" for life and it's my punishment for staying loyal to my wife?