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> What age is too old for guys

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TSflying_manatee
post Jan 27 2022, 02:04 AM, updated 5 months ago

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So I'm trying to date this girl I really like, but no guarantees it will work out of course.

As a guy, what age do you think I should just give up / settle for whichever girl will take me? I'll be 35 this year come my birthday. So wondering is there a hard expiry date for guys or not.
Takudan
post Jan 27 2022, 03:37 AM

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I don't believe in "settling". Or at least, not in the way most people do.

To me, finding someone means to find the other half who:
- can put up with your bullshit
- you can put up with their bullshit
- is good enough for you
- you're good enough for them

So whoever that comes along and makes you question hard enough, by all means you should try your best to answer all the questions you have...
Any deal breaker or red flag?
Is she doing something about her problems?
How is she taking in the bad things, be it criticisms, misunderstanding, unfortunate events etc?

That person may not be "hot/handsome", but if they turn you on, why not?
That person may be earning less, but if they're financially responsible and still striving for more, why not?

So, yes, don't settle for crazy/"whoever", but average is great.
nihility
post Jan 27 2022, 06:04 AM

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It depends on what you want from the relationship after that - married without children or married with children.

Married without children - no expiry.

Married with children, there will be constraints to be looked upon. If you are a responsible husband & father, you need to look into the following constraints:-

1. The age of your last/youngest children to graduate from college/university (use the worst case path / longest duration) - say graduated at 24 y.o.
2. The age that you can actively finance the above - retirement age 60 y.o

Ideally for normal male, planning to get children, 60-24 = 36 y.o. If you can work beyond 60 y.o / self employed with business, you can further stretch it to your biological life expectancy say around 70 y.o. If 70-24 = 46 y.o. If you have sufficient resources to raise the children without having to rely on active income source, this issue could be non existence.

If you expect more than just to see your children graduate, you want to see your children get married & see your grandchildren before you leave this world - another more complex planning to be worked out by yourself.

This post has been edited by nihility: Jan 27 2022, 06:27 AM
McFD2R
post Jan 27 2022, 12:43 PM

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QUOTE(flying_manatee @ Jan 27 2022, 02:04 AM)
So I'm trying to date this girl I really like, but no guarantees it will work out of course.

As a guy, what age do you think I should just give up / settle for whichever girl will take me? I'll be 35 this year come my birthday. So wondering is there a hard expiry date for guys or not.
*
Don't ever sell yourself short. Only commit because 2 person loves each other, and not because there are no better options. It isn't a crime to be self independent without a life partner. So no, there isn't an expiry date.

You just need to put yourself out there and just try. You will experience plenty of failures if you are just the average joe. But without failures, it means you have not been trying.
scorgio
post Jan 27 2022, 12:52 PM

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No age is too old IF u're rich & secure.

A friend divorced with 2 kids, remarried at age 48, wife 24. After that within 3 years, 1 more son 1 more daughter.

Another friend, age 26, kahwin a divorced man age 46. Later delivered a son.
gundamsp01
post Jan 27 2022, 10:40 PM

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funny isn't it?
when you younger and working your way up, people will tell you, no need to look for girls now, be rich and girls come to you.

when you got old and reach where you are, however you are still single, people will tell you, just settle with any girl you find nice to be with, feeling will come later once together.

Lol
-mystery-
post Jan 28 2022, 12:04 AM

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35 can still date someone in mid 20s, why you so worried lmao
lawrencesha
post Jan 28 2022, 12:08 AM

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The ony question that really matters - got money or not?
howszat
post Jan 28 2022, 12:15 AM

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QUOTE(Takudan @ Jan 27 2022, 03:37 AM)
- can put up with your bullshit
- you can put up with their bullshit
- is good enough for you
- you're good enough for them
*

Yes.

nihility
post Jan 28 2022, 10:20 AM

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QUOTE(gundamsp01 @ Jan 27 2022, 10:40 PM)
funny isn't it?
when you younger and working your way up, people will tell you, no need to look for girls now, be rich and girls come to you.

when you got old and reach where you are, however you are still single, people will tell you, just settle with any girl you find nice to be with, feeling will come later once together.

Lol
*
Probably result of mixing with wrong group of people.

To optimize the living is to look for the balance point between the efforts to look for the resources & to live. Put too much concentration 1 sided, you may miss out quite significantly on the other side of life.

Suddenly made me recall all the algebra calculus stuff - on the maximum outputs & minimum outputs. For the maximum outcomes, both x & y need to have inputs, not x has all the inputs, but y = 0 or x=0, but y has all the inputs.
TSflying_manatee
post Jan 28 2022, 08:51 PM

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QUOTE(Takudan @ Jan 27 2022, 03:37 AM)
I don't believe in "settling". Or at least, not in the way most people do.

To me, finding someone means to find the other half who:
- can put up with your bullshit
- you can put up with their bullshit
- is good enough for you
- you're good enough for them

So whoever that comes along and makes you question hard enough, by all means you should try your best to answer all the questions you have...
Any deal breaker or red flag?
Is she doing something about her problems?
How is she taking in the bad things, be it criticisms, misunderstanding, unfortunate events etc?

That person may not be "hot/handsome", but if they turn you on, why not?
That person may be earning less, but if they're financially responsible and still striving for more, why not?

So, yes, don't settle for crazy/"whoever", but average is great.
*
I guess yes but what if the level I have to settle for by then will be someone who doesn't turn me on, has no good qualities whatsoever etc. as by that time I'm too old already. The thought is rather horrifying.


QUOTE(nihility @ Jan 27 2022, 06:04 AM)
It depends on what you want from the relationship after that - married without children or married with children.

Married without children - no expiry.

Married with children, there will be constraints to be looked upon. If you are a responsible husband & father, you need to look into the following constraints:-

1. The age of your last/youngest children to graduate from college/university (use the worst case path / longest duration) - say graduated at 24 y.o.
2. The age that you can actively finance the above - retirement age 60 y.o

Ideally for normal male, planning to get children, 60-24 = 36 y.o. If you can work beyond 60 y.o / self employed with business, you can further stretch it to your biological life expectancy say around 70 y.o. If 70-24 = 46 y.o. If you have sufficient resources to raise the children without having to rely on active income source, this issue could be non existence.

If you expect more than just to see your children graduate, you want to see your children get married & see your grandchildren before you leave this world - another more complex planning to be worked out by yourself.
*
I'd like kids but it's not a 100% must. Having said that my dad had me at 41 and I got through college though



QUOTE(lawrencesha @ Jan 28 2022, 12:08 AM)
The ony question that really matters - got money or not?
*
Not really unfortunately. Just under k/ salary level
nihility
post Jan 28 2022, 09:01 PM

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QUOTE(flying_manatee @ Jan 28 2022, 08:51 PM)
I guess yes but what if the level I have to settle for by then will be someone who doesn't turn me on, has no good qualities whatsoever etc. as by that time I'm too old already. The thought is rather horrifying.
I'd like kids but it's not a 100% must. Having said that my dad had me at 41 and I got through college though
Not really unfortunately. Just under k/ salary level
*
If having a kid is not a must, then your worry is nihility.
Obosh
post Jan 28 2022, 11:28 PM

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Many already said. It's all about the $ baby.

Age too old to date = 30 + (liquid_net_worth/200000)
silverhawk
post Jan 28 2022, 11:56 PM

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You're a man, just keep yourself fit and healthy and you can date even at 60 years old.


Takudan
post Jan 29 2022, 12:37 AM

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QUOTE(flying_manatee @ Jan 28 2022, 08:51 PM)
I guess yes but what if the level I have to settle for by then will be someone who doesn't turn me on, has no good qualities whatsoever etc. as by that time I'm too old already. The thought is rather horrifying.
*
"Horrifying" sounds just the right word to describe a situation of being with the wrong person long term, draining your sanity daily. Yes, it'd be better if you're alone for life, that's why don't settle for "less" i.e. what you can't handle.

Keep trying and hope for the best, I might sound obnoxiously optimistic, but well it's because it has so far worked out for me! I didn't believe in online dating, but tried it anyway, probably had 30 matches but less than 5 made it to meet ups, and only one worked out so far. Great for me, cuz one is all I need for now haha.

I'm not so optimistic for ladies especially if one approaches menopausal age, because that's when the "crazy old bitch" gets a lot of emotional outbursts. However for men, you guys are luckier in the hormones department, you'll age steadily and heck, you can still look good with wrinkles. So don't worry about your age and enjoy your time with her!
Shanks747
post Feb 1 2022, 12:54 AM

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QUOTE(flying_manatee @ Jan 27 2022, 02:04 AM)
So I'm trying to date this girl I really like, but no guarantees it will work out of course.

As a guy, what age do you think I should just give up / settle for whichever girl will take me? I'll be 35 this year come my birthday. So wondering is there a hard expiry date for guys or not.
*
As long you have money, good health, decent body ,proper grooming....you good for a longer time. you need to ask yourself what you want from the relationship then you will know what to do.
TSflying_manatee
post Feb 5 2022, 11:46 PM

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QUOTE(Obosh @ Jan 28 2022, 11:28 PM)
Many already said. It's all about the $ baby.

Age too old to date = 30 + (liquid_net_worth/200000)
*
Wait sorry what? I don't get this formula. Ok so if my liquid net worth is 1 mil then by 35 is my max to date right?

QUOTE(silverhawk @ Jan 28 2022, 11:56 PM)
You're a man, just keep yourself fit and healthy and you can date even at 60 years old.
*
Hmmmmm that's the part I'm not sure about, I'm afraid guys face a fading looks / age disqualifier situation too

QUOTE(Takudan @ Jan 29 2022, 12:37 AM)
"Horrifying" sounds just the right word to describe a situation of being with the wrong person long term, draining your sanity daily. Yes, it'd be better if you're alone for life, that's why don't settle for "less" i.e. what you can't handle.

Keep trying and hope for the best, I might sound obnoxiously optimistic, but well it's because it has so far worked out for me! I didn't believe in online dating, but tried it anyway, probably had 30 matches but less than 5 made it to meet ups, and only one worked out so far. Great for me, cuz one is all I need for now haha.

I'm not so optimistic for ladies especially if one approaches menopausal age, because that's when the "crazy old bitch" gets a lot of emotional outbursts. However for men, you guys are luckier in the hormones department, you'll age steadily and heck, you can still look good with wrinkles. So don't worry about your age and enjoy your time with her!
*
Oh my ex was from online dating also. But getting less and less lucky hence the age worry. Congrats though on yours! Many lady friends of mine tell me they had really bad experiences.

QUOTE(Shanks747 @ Feb 1 2022, 12:54 AM)
As long you have money, good health, decent body ,proper grooming....you good for a longer time. you need to ask yourself what you want from the relationship then you will know what to do.
*
Ok problem is I don't have money HAHHAHAHA
acbc
post Feb 5 2022, 11:55 PM

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If planning to marry and have kids, 45 will be old. By the time the kid turns 18, u already in the early 60s.

If just dating, no age limits. Maybe 60s will be too old for some girls. If wealthy, not an issue. Otherwise, people might think something fishy going on.
silverhawk
post Feb 6 2022, 02:04 AM

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QUOTE(flying_manatee @ Feb 5 2022, 11:46 PM)
Hmmmmm that's the part I'm not sure about, I'm afraid guys face a fading looks / age disqualifier situation too
*
The only person that disqualifies you, is yourself. If that is what you believe, that is what you will project to others.

I happen to know some players in their 50s, they look like kopitiam unkers, but they pull in college age girls. They don't even need to flaunt wealth to do it, they aren't really rich to begin with. They just know how to play the game.

So stop making excuses for yourself la.
-mystery-
post Feb 6 2022, 12:51 PM

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your mind can be your biggest enemy or success hindrance.
if you worry about what factor as an excuse, you should go out and test your hypothesis, and stop feeling sorry for yourself, except your parents no one will ever be sympathy to you.
AshenOne
post Feb 6 2022, 01:09 PM

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QUOTE(silverhawk @ Feb 6 2022, 02:04 AM)
The only person that disqualifies you, is yourself. If that is what you believe, that is what you will project to others.

I happen to know some players in their 50s, they look like kopitiam unkers, but they pull in college age girls. They don't even need to flaunt wealth to do it, they aren't really rich to begin with. They just know how to play the game.

So stop making excuses for yourself la.
*
That is very interesting, do you know what method the uncles are using, the gap between uncles and college girls seem outrageous to me, I cannot imagine what else besides wealth that is pulling them in, maybe I am too narrow minded I will have to admit this here first, but please educate me. I do not have ego despite I am in late 20s approaching 30, I am willing to learn anything.
Blofeld
post Feb 6 2022, 02:39 PM

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dont u know that women like older financially stable men?


silverhawk
post Feb 6 2022, 03:10 PM

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QUOTE(AshenOne @ Feb 6 2022, 01:09 PM)
That is very interesting, do you know what method the uncles are using, the gap between uncles and college girls seem outrageous to me, I cannot imagine what else besides wealth that is pulling them in, maybe I am too narrow minded I will have to admit this here first, but please educate me. I do not have ego despite I am in late 20s approaching 30, I am willing to learn anything.
*
Fundamentally, its the difference between

"I know how to have fun, you look like you want some fun, come join me"

vs

"Am I attractive enough for you?"

If you can figure out the difference, you will get your answer
Roadwarrior1337
post Feb 6 2022, 03:12 PM

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There is no expiry. U just pray find someone that tolerate you and u tolerate her. If one side cannot give in...you will get into the biggest shit in your life
AshenOne
post Feb 6 2022, 03:40 PM

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QUOTE(silverhawk @ Feb 6 2022, 03:10 PM)
Fundamentally, its the difference between

"I know how to have fun, you look like you want some fun, come join me"

vs

"Am I attractive enough for you?"

If you can figure out the difference, you will get your answer
*
Thanks hawk, now I understand after you put it out so clearly.
One attracts by already having interesting things going on in your side and naturally pulls the others towards you, when I see people having fun, I will feel like joining too and not miss out.

Conversely the other mindset seeks approval and seeks to impress, the focus is on the opposite gender but not yourself. This path will have extra resistance and feels forced at times compared to the natural former option.

But do you have any examples of how to make it work? Does bringing her to experience golf, try the good foods, visit pet cafes, counts? Or does it have to be something more special than that?
TSflying_manatee
post Feb 6 2022, 08:45 PM

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QUOTE(Blofeld @ Feb 6 2022, 02:39 PM)
dont u know that women like older financially stable men?
*
Ok question, what do you guys think of as financially stable?

QUOTE(silverhawk @ Feb 6 2022, 03:10 PM)
Fundamentally, its the difference between

"I know how to have fun, you look like you want some fun, come join me"

vs

"Am I attractive enough for you?"

If you can figure out the difference, you will get your answer
*
Ok that's a very good point hawk, I'll think about that. Not sure if I know how to have fun though...
InitialB
post Feb 6 2022, 08:53 PM

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QUOTE(flying_manatee @ Jan 27 2022, 02:04 AM)
So I'm trying to date this girl I really like, but no guarantees it will work out of course.

As a guy, what age do you think I should just give up / settle for whichever girl will take me? I'll be 35 this year come my birthday. So wondering is there a hard expiry date for guys or not.
*
You got lui anot?

Got lui if you retired at 60 also girl girl think u 35 only
TSflying_manatee
post Feb 6 2022, 09:34 PM

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QUOTE(InitialB @ Feb 6 2022, 08:53 PM)
You got lui anot?

Got lui if you retired at 60 also girl girl think u 35 only
*
Ok the thing here is I have no idea what is the definition of got lui
silverhawk
post Feb 6 2022, 11:51 PM

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QUOTE(AshenOne @ Feb 6 2022, 03:40 PM)
Thanks hawk, now I understand after you put it out so clearly.
One attracts by already having interesting things going on in your side and naturally pulls the others towards you, when I see people having fun, I will feel like joining too and not miss out.

Conversely the other mindset seeks approval and seeks to impress, the focus is on the opposite gender but not yourself. This path will have extra resistance and feels forced at times compared to the natural former option.

But do you have any examples of how to make it work? Does bringing her to experience golf, try the good foods, visit pet cafes, counts? Or does it have to be something more special than that?
*
Examples will just misguide you, even here you got about 90% of the meaning, but still lacking another 10% but you're close. The only thing I can say to you is go out and try. You will fail many many many times, but its part of the process. You'll never learn to ride a bike unless you've fallen a few times right? Same thing.


QUOTE(flying_manatee @ Feb 6 2022, 08:45 PM)
Ok that's a very good point hawk, I'll think about that. Not sure if I know how to have fun though...
*
Then its time to go find some fun. Keep in mind everyone's definition of fun is different, just find yours and look for like minded people. The rest falls into place nicely.
michaelchang
post Feb 7 2022, 07:45 AM

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If u are poor, u expire around age 35-38 (depending on your look and grooming)

If u are rich, there are no expiry date as there are many women that will accept a partner 20-30 years their senior if he is rich
nihility
post Feb 7 2022, 08:12 AM

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QUOTE(AshenOne @ Feb 6 2022, 03:40 PM)
Thanks hawk, now I understand after you put it out so clearly.
One attracts by already having interesting things going on in your side and naturally pulls the others towards you, when I see people having fun, I will feel like joining too and not miss out.

Conversely the other mindset seeks approval and seeks to impress, the focus is on the opposite gender but not yourself. This path will have extra resistance and feels forced at times compared to the natural former option.

But do you have any examples of how to make it work? Does bringing her to experience golf, try the good foods, visit pet cafes, counts? Or does it have to be something more special than that?
*
Live your life to the fullest as the single first. Eat around & try out new dishes at different locations, travel around locally or oversea - see how ppl do thing differently, engage with the hobbies - if hiking, try different locations & meet different ppl. Spend the necessary money in the exchange of the life experiences. Get involves with daily errant - dealing with the government agencies, etc. All these will add to your life experiences. When the time come, you shall able to share your life experiences naturally.

This post has been edited by nihility: Feb 7 2022, 11:41 AM
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post Feb 7 2022, 08:18 AM

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No limit to age.
gundamsp01
post Feb 7 2022, 10:47 AM

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QUOTE(michaelchang @ Feb 7 2022, 07:45 AM)
If u are poor, u expire around age 35-38 (depending on your look and grooming)

If u are rich, there are no expiry date as there are many women that will accept a partner 20-30 years their senior if he is rich
*
at current age of women able to find as much wealth or more than any other men, the term "rich" has become really out of touch for ordinary people.
and for those who say men in their 50s able to score 20s women, maybe yes, but even in my mid-30s, 20s women already felt i am too out of touch to their generation of mindset, regardless of my financial capability.

This post has been edited by gundamsp01: Feb 7 2022, 10:48 AM
michaelchang
post Feb 7 2022, 11:11 AM

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QUOTE(gundamsp01 @ Feb 7 2022, 10:47 AM)
at current age of women able to find as much wealth or more than any other men, the term "rich" has become really out of touch for ordinary people.
and for those who say men in their 50s able to score 20s women, maybe yes, but even in my mid-30s, 20s women already felt i am too out of touch to their generation of mindset, regardless of my financial capability.
*
There are different kind of rich.

1) Rich as in high pay + have own house/condo + has expensive car

2) Rich as in high income from business, FD, dividends + ability to buy a house/condo (cash) for spouse at anytime + have holiday home overseas + can buy car as gifts for gf.


1st type may have some problem getting younger women and 2nd type of rich have no problem with getting beautiful young women. tongue.gif


-mystery-
post Feb 7 2022, 02:06 PM

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QUOTE(gundamsp01 @ Feb 7 2022, 10:47 AM)
at current age of women able to find as much wealth or more than any other men, the term "rich" has become really out of touch for ordinary people.
and for those who say men in their 50s able to score 20s women, maybe yes, but even in my mid-30s, 20s women already felt i am too out of touch to their generation of mindset, regardless of my financial capability.
*
assume 100k salary vs 500k salary, they're able to fine dine at same place. So what differs? Its personality, and most importantly mindset towards things and people.
michaelchang
post Feb 7 2022, 07:21 PM

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QUOTE(-mystery- @ Feb 7 2022, 02:06 PM)
assume 100k salary vs 500k salary, they're able to fine dine at same place. So what differs? Its personality, and most importantly mindset towards things and people.
*
When u have that type of $$($500K salary), you will know the difference. You will not be lack of girls tongue.gif
-mystery-
post Feb 7 2022, 07:36 PM

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QUOTE(michaelchang @ Feb 7 2022, 07:21 PM)
When u have that type of $$($500K salary), you will know the difference. You will not be lack of girls  tongue.gif
*
it depends on he pulls it off
if he frequently throws boat party and invite superficial girls come along, he will not attract any significant quality partner
again, average people like most of us will not understand.
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post Feb 9 2022, 05:55 PM

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QUOTE(flying_manatee @ Jan 27 2022, 02:04 AM)
So I'm trying to date this girl I really like, but no guarantees it will work out of course.

As a guy, what age do you think I should just give up / settle for whichever girl will take me? I'll be 35 this year come my birthday. So wondering is there a hard expiry date for guys or not.
*
there is no specific age.. listen to yourself.. everyone's "expiry age" is different.
MasBoleh!
post Feb 20 2022, 06:22 PM

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QUOTE(gundamsp01 @ Jan 27 2022, 10:40 PM)
funny isn't it?
when you younger and working your way up, people will tell you, no need to look for girls now, be rich and girls come to you.

when you got old and reach where you are, however you are still single, people will tell you, just settle with any girl you find nice to be with, feeling will come later once together.

Lol
*
lol i concur with this
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post Feb 20 2022, 06:28 PM

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45-50 will be old. Because should u ever settle down and have kids later, he or she will be 18 while u will be in the late 60s or early 70s.

My late uncle married at 50 and before his first born enter college, he passed away due to an accident.
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post Feb 20 2022, 11:20 PM

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QUOTE(Takudan @ Jan 27 2022, 03:37 AM)

To me, finding someone means to find the other half who:
- can put up with your bullshit
- you can put up with their bullshit
- is good enough for you
- you're good enough for them

*
i just resonated with this... and it seems like all 4 need to click. just had 2 shot off recently
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post Feb 21 2022, 09:07 PM

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QUOTE(christ14 @ Feb 20 2022, 11:20 PM)
i just resonated with this... and it seems like all 4 need to click. just had 2 shot off recently
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Unfortunately we cannot control how others think of us, but I think you can better your chances by working on yourself:
- fix your own bullshit. It can be your temper, bad habit or whatever it's been bugging yourself but you were too lazy to do something about.
- fix your expectations... by lowering it to a more realistic level, if applicable. For example, a girl with flawless face without any makeup on is extremely rare, if at all! Most ladies I know in my life has something on their face lol, all it takes is one hot day outdoors, or some stressful days at work, or hormonal changes. I just find that the typical beauties you see a lot on socmeds, scam dating profiles, porn, whatever else out there in the public, they are very much beautified to an unrealistic standard. If anything, I find ladies who can make stupid/ugly faces much more genuine and fun to be with.
christ14
post Feb 22 2022, 12:32 AM

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From: Grand Ol' Lady


QUOTE(Takudan @ Feb 21 2022, 09:07 PM)
Unfortunately we cannot control how others think of us, but I think you can better your chances by working on yourself:
- fix your own bullshit. It can be your temper, bad habit or whatever it's been bugging yourself but you were too lazy to do something about.
- fix your expectations... by lowering it to a more realistic level, if applicable. For example, a girl with flawless face without any makeup on is extremely rare, if at all! Most ladies I know in my life has something on their face lol, all it takes is one hot day outdoors, or some stressful days at work, or hormonal changes. I just find that the typical beauties you see a lot on socmeds, scam dating profiles, porn, whatever else out there in the public, they are very much beautified to an unrealistic standard. If anything, I find ladies who can make stupid/ugly faces much more genuine and fun to be with.
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yeah man cheers

to me its bugging the SO, and need to talk about it often. breaking point it was

i dont have any expectations per se like what you said. looks isnt everything really, but agree on the points notworthy.gif
air_ed22 P
post Mar 14 2022, 02:48 PM

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Think it's hard to justify and does not applicable to all but for me individually should be the feeling, caring and most important the integrity of the seriousness the person have in the relationship...Age is not the major concern but the above are my basic criteria
air_ed22 P
post Mar 21 2022, 02:40 PM

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guess major concern is pretty or fugly...age is just a number

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