QUOTE(Takudan @ Jan 27 2022, 03:37 AM)
I don't believe in "settling". Or at least, not in the way most people do.
To me, finding someone means to find the other half who:
- can put up with your bullshit
- you can put up with their bullshit
- is good enough for you
- you're good enough for them
So whoever that comes along and makes you question hard enough, by all means you should try your best to answer all the questions you have...
Any deal breaker or red flag?
Is she doing something about her problems?
How is she taking in the bad things, be it criticisms, misunderstanding, unfortunate events etc?
That person may not be "hot/handsome", but if they turn you on, why not?
That person may be earning less, but if they're financially responsible and still striving for more, why not?
So, yes, don't settle for crazy/"whoever", but average is great.
I guess yes but what if the level I have to settle for by then will be someone who doesn't turn me on, has no good qualities whatsoever etc. as by that time I'm too old already. The thought is rather horrifying.
QUOTE(nihility @ Jan 27 2022, 06:04 AM)
It depends on what you want from the relationship after that - married without children or married with children.
Married without children - no expiry.
Married with children, there will be constraints to be looked upon. If you are a responsible husband & father, you need to look into the following constraints:-
1. The age of your last/youngest children to graduate from college/university (use the worst case path / longest duration) - say graduated at 24 y.o.
2. The age that you can actively finance the above - retirement age 60 y.o
Ideally for normal male, planning to get children, 60-24 = 36 y.o. If you can work beyond 60 y.o / self employed with business, you can further stretch it to your biological life expectancy say around 70 y.o. If 70-24 = 46 y.o. If you have sufficient resources to raise the children without having to rely on active income source, this issue could be non existence.
If you expect more than just to see your children graduate, you want to see your children get married & see your grandchildren before you leave this world - another more complex planning to be worked out by yourself.
I'd like kids but it's not a 100% must. Having said that my dad had me at 41 and I got through college though
QUOTE(lawrencesha @ Jan 28 2022, 12:08 AM)
The ony question that really matters - got money or not?
Not really unfortunately. Just under k/ salary level