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> What age is too old for guys

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TSflying_manatee
post Jan 27 2022, 02:04 AM, updated 5 months ago

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So I'm trying to date this girl I really like, but no guarantees it will work out of course.

As a guy, what age do you think I should just give up / settle for whichever girl will take me? I'll be 35 this year come my birthday. So wondering is there a hard expiry date for guys or not.
Takudan
post Jan 27 2022, 03:37 AM

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I don't believe in "settling". Or at least, not in the way most people do.

To me, finding someone means to find the other half who:
- can put up with your bullshit
- you can put up with their bullshit
- is good enough for you
- you're good enough for them

So whoever that comes along and makes you question hard enough, by all means you should try your best to answer all the questions you have...
Any deal breaker or red flag?
Is she doing something about her problems?
How is she taking in the bad things, be it criticisms, misunderstanding, unfortunate events etc?

That person may not be "hot/handsome", but if they turn you on, why not?
That person may be earning less, but if they're financially responsible and still striving for more, why not?

So, yes, don't settle for crazy/"whoever", but average is great.
nihility
post Jan 27 2022, 06:04 AM

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It depends on what you want from the relationship after that - married without children or married with children.

Married without children - no expiry.

Married with children, there will be constraints to be looked upon. If you are a responsible husband & father, you need to look into the following constraints:-

1. The age of your last/youngest children to graduate from college/university (use the worst case path / longest duration) - say graduated at 24 y.o.
2. The age that you can actively finance the above - retirement age 60 y.o

Ideally for normal male, planning to get children, 60-24 = 36 y.o. If you can work beyond 60 y.o / self employed with business, you can further stretch it to your biological life expectancy say around 70 y.o. If 70-24 = 46 y.o. If you have sufficient resources to raise the children without having to rely on active income source, this issue could be non existence.

If you expect more than just to see your children graduate, you want to see your children get married & see your grandchildren before you leave this world - another more complex planning to be worked out by yourself.

This post has been edited by nihility: Jan 27 2022, 06:27 AM
McFD2R
post Jan 27 2022, 12:43 PM

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QUOTE(flying_manatee @ Jan 27 2022, 02:04 AM)
So I'm trying to date this girl I really like, but no guarantees it will work out of course.

As a guy, what age do you think I should just give up / settle for whichever girl will take me? I'll be 35 this year come my birthday. So wondering is there a hard expiry date for guys or not.
*
Don't ever sell yourself short. Only commit because 2 person loves each other, and not because there are no better options. It isn't a crime to be self independent without a life partner. So no, there isn't an expiry date.

You just need to put yourself out there and just try. You will experience plenty of failures if you are just the average joe. But without failures, it means you have not been trying.
scorgio
post Jan 27 2022, 12:52 PM

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No age is too old IF u're rich & secure.

A friend divorced with 2 kids, remarried at age 48, wife 24. After that within 3 years, 1 more son 1 more daughter.

Another friend, age 26, kahwin a divorced man age 46. Later delivered a son.
gundamsp01
post Jan 27 2022, 10:40 PM

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funny isn't it?
when you younger and working your way up, people will tell you, no need to look for girls now, be rich and girls come to you.

when you got old and reach where you are, however you are still single, people will tell you, just settle with any girl you find nice to be with, feeling will come later once together.

Lol
-mystery-
post Jan 28 2022, 12:04 AM

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35 can still date someone in mid 20s, why you so worried lmao
lawrencesha
post Jan 28 2022, 12:08 AM

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The ony question that really matters - got money or not?
howszat
post Jan 28 2022, 12:15 AM

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QUOTE(Takudan @ Jan 27 2022, 03:37 AM)
- can put up with your bullshit
- you can put up with their bullshit
- is good enough for you
- you're good enough for them
*

Yes.

nihility
post Jan 28 2022, 10:20 AM

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QUOTE(gundamsp01 @ Jan 27 2022, 10:40 PM)
funny isn't it?
when you younger and working your way up, people will tell you, no need to look for girls now, be rich and girls come to you.

when you got old and reach where you are, however you are still single, people will tell you, just settle with any girl you find nice to be with, feeling will come later once together.

Lol
*
Probably result of mixing with wrong group of people.

To optimize the living is to look for the balance point between the efforts to look for the resources & to live. Put too much concentration 1 sided, you may miss out quite significantly on the other side of life.

Suddenly made me recall all the algebra calculus stuff - on the maximum outputs & minimum outputs. For the maximum outcomes, both x & y need to have inputs, not x has all the inputs, but y = 0 or x=0, but y has all the inputs.
TSflying_manatee
post Jan 28 2022, 08:51 PM

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QUOTE(Takudan @ Jan 27 2022, 03:37 AM)
I don't believe in "settling". Or at least, not in the way most people do.

To me, finding someone means to find the other half who:
- can put up with your bullshit
- you can put up with their bullshit
- is good enough for you
- you're good enough for them

So whoever that comes along and makes you question hard enough, by all means you should try your best to answer all the questions you have...
Any deal breaker or red flag?
Is she doing something about her problems?
How is she taking in the bad things, be it criticisms, misunderstanding, unfortunate events etc?

That person may not be "hot/handsome", but if they turn you on, why not?
That person may be earning less, but if they're financially responsible and still striving for more, why not?

So, yes, don't settle for crazy/"whoever", but average is great.
*
I guess yes but what if the level I have to settle for by then will be someone who doesn't turn me on, has no good qualities whatsoever etc. as by that time I'm too old already. The thought is rather horrifying.


QUOTE(nihility @ Jan 27 2022, 06:04 AM)
It depends on what you want from the relationship after that - married without children or married with children.

Married without children - no expiry.

Married with children, there will be constraints to be looked upon. If you are a responsible husband & father, you need to look into the following constraints:-

1. The age of your last/youngest children to graduate from college/university (use the worst case path / longest duration) - say graduated at 24 y.o.
2. The age that you can actively finance the above - retirement age 60 y.o

Ideally for normal male, planning to get children, 60-24 = 36 y.o. If you can work beyond 60 y.o / self employed with business, you can further stretch it to your biological life expectancy say around 70 y.o. If 70-24 = 46 y.o. If you have sufficient resources to raise the children without having to rely on active income source, this issue could be non existence.

If you expect more than just to see your children graduate, you want to see your children get married & see your grandchildren before you leave this world - another more complex planning to be worked out by yourself.
*
I'd like kids but it's not a 100% must. Having said that my dad had me at 41 and I got through college though



QUOTE(lawrencesha @ Jan 28 2022, 12:08 AM)
The ony question that really matters - got money or not?
*
Not really unfortunately. Just under k/ salary level
nihility
post Jan 28 2022, 09:01 PM

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QUOTE(flying_manatee @ Jan 28 2022, 08:51 PM)
I guess yes but what if the level I have to settle for by then will be someone who doesn't turn me on, has no good qualities whatsoever etc. as by that time I'm too old already. The thought is rather horrifying.
I'd like kids but it's not a 100% must. Having said that my dad had me at 41 and I got through college though
Not really unfortunately. Just under k/ salary level
*
If having a kid is not a must, then your worry is nihility.
Obosh
post Jan 28 2022, 11:28 PM

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Many already said. It's all about the $ baby.

Age too old to date = 30 + (liquid_net_worth/200000)
silverhawk
post Jan 28 2022, 11:56 PM

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You're a man, just keep yourself fit and healthy and you can date even at 60 years old.


Takudan
post Jan 29 2022, 12:37 AM

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QUOTE(flying_manatee @ Jan 28 2022, 08:51 PM)
I guess yes but what if the level I have to settle for by then will be someone who doesn't turn me on, has no good qualities whatsoever etc. as by that time I'm too old already. The thought is rather horrifying.
*
"Horrifying" sounds just the right word to describe a situation of being with the wrong person long term, draining your sanity daily. Yes, it'd be better if you're alone for life, that's why don't settle for "less" i.e. what you can't handle.

Keep trying and hope for the best, I might sound obnoxiously optimistic, but well it's because it has so far worked out for me! I didn't believe in online dating, but tried it anyway, probably had 30 matches but less than 5 made it to meet ups, and only one worked out so far. Great for me, cuz one is all I need for now haha.

I'm not so optimistic for ladies especially if one approaches menopausal age, because that's when the "crazy old bitch" gets a lot of emotional outbursts. However for men, you guys are luckier in the hormones department, you'll age steadily and heck, you can still look good with wrinkles. So don't worry about your age and enjoy your time with her!
Shanks747
post Feb 1 2022, 12:54 AM

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QUOTE(flying_manatee @ Jan 27 2022, 02:04 AM)
So I'm trying to date this girl I really like, but no guarantees it will work out of course.

As a guy, what age do you think I should just give up / settle for whichever girl will take me? I'll be 35 this year come my birthday. So wondering is there a hard expiry date for guys or not.
*
As long you have money, good health, decent body ,proper grooming....you good for a longer time. you need to ask yourself what you want from the relationship then you will know what to do.
TSflying_manatee
post Feb 5 2022, 11:46 PM

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QUOTE(Obosh @ Jan 28 2022, 11:28 PM)
Many already said. It's all about the $ baby.

Age too old to date = 30 + (liquid_net_worth/200000)
*
Wait sorry what? I don't get this formula. Ok so if my liquid net worth is 1 mil then by 35 is my max to date right?

QUOTE(silverhawk @ Jan 28 2022, 11:56 PM)
You're a man, just keep yourself fit and healthy and you can date even at 60 years old.
*
Hmmmmm that's the part I'm not sure about, I'm afraid guys face a fading looks / age disqualifier situation too

QUOTE(Takudan @ Jan 29 2022, 12:37 AM)
"Horrifying" sounds just the right word to describe a situation of being with the wrong person long term, draining your sanity daily. Yes, it'd be better if you're alone for life, that's why don't settle for "less" i.e. what you can't handle.

Keep trying and hope for the best, I might sound obnoxiously optimistic, but well it's because it has so far worked out for me! I didn't believe in online dating, but tried it anyway, probably had 30 matches but less than 5 made it to meet ups, and only one worked out so far. Great for me, cuz one is all I need for now haha.

I'm not so optimistic for ladies especially if one approaches menopausal age, because that's when the "crazy old bitch" gets a lot of emotional outbursts. However for men, you guys are luckier in the hormones department, you'll age steadily and heck, you can still look good with wrinkles. So don't worry about your age and enjoy your time with her!
*
Oh my ex was from online dating also. But getting less and less lucky hence the age worry. Congrats though on yours! Many lady friends of mine tell me they had really bad experiences.

QUOTE(Shanks747 @ Feb 1 2022, 12:54 AM)
As long you have money, good health, decent body ,proper grooming....you good for a longer time. you need to ask yourself what you want from the relationship then you will know what to do.
*
Ok problem is I don't have money HAHHAHAHA
acbc
post Feb 5 2022, 11:55 PM

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If planning to marry and have kids, 45 will be old. By the time the kid turns 18, u already in the early 60s.

If just dating, no age limits. Maybe 60s will be too old for some girls. If wealthy, not an issue. Otherwise, people might think something fishy going on.
silverhawk
post Feb 6 2022, 02:04 AM

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QUOTE(flying_manatee @ Feb 5 2022, 11:46 PM)
Hmmmmm that's the part I'm not sure about, I'm afraid guys face a fading looks / age disqualifier situation too
*
The only person that disqualifies you, is yourself. If that is what you believe, that is what you will project to others.

I happen to know some players in their 50s, they look like kopitiam unkers, but they pull in college age girls. They don't even need to flaunt wealth to do it, they aren't really rich to begin with. They just know how to play the game.

So stop making excuses for yourself la.
-mystery-
post Feb 6 2022, 12:51 PM

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your mind can be your biggest enemy or success hindrance.
if you worry about what factor as an excuse, you should go out and test your hypothesis, and stop feeling sorry for yourself, except your parents no one will ever be sympathy to you.

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