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> GF anger issues, 7 years relatioship

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TS6inchjj P
post Oct 16 2021, 08:30 PM, updated 4 months ago

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As the title says , my gf has anger issues.

The first 2 years nothing much , pretty normal...well-mannered.
But the pattern all come during our 3rd year relationship...Damn cibai princess sickness....terrible mood swings. vmad.gif

Everytime I waited for her to calm down a few days later, then only i confronted her regarding her anger problems..told her that her attitude is hurting me and making me feel miserable...honestly it's hurting the relationship.
But everytime she will just try to avoid the discussion and tried to brush it off macam selamba jer.. "I AM A GIRL MA..YOU GO FIND EVERYWHERE DE GIRL ALSO IS SAME DE LA !"


There was once I got tired of her cibai attitude that i want to break up with her.
At the beginning she still thinks I am playing with her....but when she realized I was serious , she started to cry. And even came to find me.
I straight told her that I kenot tahan her princess sickness and her cibai anger problems...little little things will suddenly meletup like a time bomb. ranting.gif ranting.gif

We drifted apart for more that a week , then she approached me again...and somehow at that particular moment I felt that she really learnt her lesson.
She said she realized her mistake and will change herself to become a new person. So I forgave her and decided to give her a 2nd chance. doh.gif ( I am hati lembik ) doh.gif

Fast forward ....now we are in our 7th year relationship. Now we already bought a house joint-nam and live together.
Occasionally she will still have anger issues , small small matters will meletup all of sudden like a timebomb.
When I say small matters , I mean really really remeh stuffs...
Example :
1. When come back from work , I didn't pour a cup of water for her.
2. Morning no cook breakfast for her to eat.


Just yesterday , she went back to her mum's home nearby , ask me to bring a baking stuff(Molasses Sugar) from our home for her...bcoz she wanna bake some bread using her mum's oven.
To be honest , I am not familiar with baking stuffs. I actually tried calling her but her phone no battery . So i just Googled how the stuff look like and took the most similar looking one lo...
I thought , no big deal ma..if ingredient wrong then mar substitute with other things lo...or just bake the bread another time lo , sincc her mum's house just nearby anytime also can go la. rolleyes.gif

Then when i brought it to her....lai liao la.....meletup again...start mumblimg and scolding.
SCOLD ME STUPID SOMEMORE IN FRONT OF HER MOTHER ! ranting.gif
" 蠢到死 "

I dulan just diam diam don't want bird her....since she in her mum's home....Me scolding her back sure will make me look like the bad guy instead.
Damn fed up with my GF cibai attitude.

Sifus.....I am really confused now...Is it really my fault ????
Are all girls really like that ?
I thought relationship should have mutual respect for each other !!!!!
YoungMan
post Oct 16 2021, 08:40 PM

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It is not your fault. Anger management is something every human kind need to learn. TS, it is not too late to call it quit if not yet married. Remember you also need to take care your own wellbeing.
weeuweed
post Oct 16 2021, 08:49 PM

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QUOTE(6inchjj @ Oct 16 2021, 08:30 PM)
As the title says , my gf has anger issues.

Are all girls really like that ?
I thought relationship should have mutual respect for each other !!!!!
*
No, some are more mild-mannered while others are more extreme. Seems like you got a timebomb there bro. She has to learn about respect. Name-calling is childish and a red flag.
Sounds like she needs to convey her expectation in a proper manner instead of letting it out.

This post has been edited by weeuweed: Oct 16 2021, 08:50 PM
Ayammachiamboss
post Oct 16 2021, 08:49 PM

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You have to pour a cup of water for her after work? and make breakfast for her? wtf is that man?

This post has been edited by Ayammachiamboss: Oct 16 2021, 08:50 PM
supergirl1990
post Oct 16 2021, 08:59 PM

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break up je la.. dont be a slave, be a man!
kopiride
post Oct 16 2021, 09:11 PM

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QUOTE(Ayammachiamboss @ Oct 16 2021, 08:49 PM)
You have to pour a cup of water for her after work? and make breakfast for her? wtf is that man?
*
That's call gentleman la. That's probably the reason she's with him and did not choose any other man.
Each relationship has different ways they threat each other nice. Does not mean in yours don't have others cannot.
Also he did mentioned she does baking. Nowadays girls alot baking also no idea just play phone. U can't choose a perfect person when ownself ain't perfect.
The issue here is not about what the sweat things he does for his girl. The issue is about her temper. Don't la let it out of topic.

TS, there's no other way to deal temper issues than to address it calmly with her. When she explodes next time try to explain to her calmly. Specifically in front of her parents.

U could have said to her nicely, dear, I tried calling u but your phone can't get through and I have no idea on baking stuff and bought the best I thought about. Continue to address her rudeness. Dear, I also do not appreciate the tone u are in and calling me idiot disrespectfully.
Also when u say that do touch her shoulder.
Say it in a way where her mom can hear it and confirm her mom will be sound her daughter next time. (Provided her mom is a reasonable person)

Remember, in a shouting match, who wins? Nobody right. So one person has to calm the situation down. U will earn more respect in that way. Try not to walk away from a misunderstanding.

Walk away only have u tried calmly in order not to escalate it further. Then only continue explain next time when everyone is more calm.
Ayammachiamboss
post Oct 16 2021, 10:10 PM

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QUOTE(kopiride @ Oct 16 2021, 09:11 PM)
That's call gentleman la. That's probably the reason she's with him and did not choose any other man.
Each relationship has different ways they threat each other nice. Does not mean in yours don't have others cannot.
Also he did mentioned she does baking. Nowadays girls alot baking also no idea just play phone. U can't choose a perfect person when ownself ain't perfect.
The issue here is not about what the sweat things he does for his girl. The issue is about her temper. Don't la let it out of topic.

TS, there's no other way to deal temper issues than to address it calmly with her. When she explodes next time try to explain to her calmly. Specifically in front of her parents.

U could have said to her nicely, dear, I tried calling u but your phone can't get through and I have no idea on baking stuff and bought the best I thought about. Continue to address her rudeness. Dear, I also do not appreciate the tone u are in and calling me idiot disrespectfully.
Also when u say that do touch her shoulder.
Say it in a way where her mom can hear it and confirm her mom will be sound her daughter next time. (Provided her mom is a reasonable person)

Remember, in a shouting match, who wins? Nobody right. So one person has to calm the situation down. U will earn more respect in that way. Try not to walk away from a misunderstanding.

Walk away only have u tried calmly in order not to escalate it further. Then only continue explain next time when everyone is more calm.
*
OK I agree that each relationship has different ways to treat each other but from TS's explanation, gf is not seeing it as TS being sweet. She is angry, it means she expects TS to do it.

I just think TS might have spoilt her.
wangpr
post Oct 16 2021, 10:18 PM

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QUOTE(6inchjj @ Oct 16 2021, 08:30 PM)
As the title says , my gf has anger issues.

The first 2 years nothing much , pretty normal...well-mannered.
But the pattern all come during our 3rd year relationship...Damn cibai princess sickness....terrible mood swings.  vmad.gif

Everytime I waited for her to calm down a few days later, then only i confronted her regarding her anger problems..told her that her attitude is hurting me and making me feel miserable...honestly it's hurting the relationship.
But everytime she will just try to avoid the discussion and tried to brush it off macam selamba jer.. "I AM A GIRL MA..YOU GO FIND EVERYWHERE DE GIRL ALSO IS SAME DE LA !"
There was once I got tired of her cibai attitude that i want to break up with her.
At the beginning she still thinks I am playing with her....but when she realized I was serious , she started to cry. And even came to find me.
I straight told her that I kenot tahan her princess sickness and her cibai anger problems...little little things will suddenly meletup like a time bomb.  ranting.gif  ranting.gif

We drifted apart for more that a week  , then she approached me again...and somehow at that particular moment I felt that she really learnt her lesson.
She said she realized her mistake and will change herself to become a new person. So I forgave her and decided to give her a 2nd chance.  doh.gif ( I am hati lembik )  doh.gif

Fast forward ....now we are in our 7th year relationship. Now we already bought a house joint-nam and live together.
Occasionally she will still have anger issues , small small matters will meletup all of sudden like a timebomb.
When I say small matters , I mean really really remeh stuffs...
Example :
1. When come back from work , I didn't pour a cup of water for her.
2. Morning no cook breakfast for her to eat.


Just yesterday , she went back to her mum's home nearby , ask me to bring a baking stuff(Molasses Sugar) from our home for her...bcoz she wanna bake some bread using her mum's oven.
To be honest , I am not familiar with baking stuffs. I actually tried calling her but her phone no battery . So i just Googled how the stuff look like and took the most similar looking one lo...
I thought , no big deal ma..if ingredient wrong then mar substitute with other things lo...or just bake the bread another time lo , sincc her mum's house just nearby anytime also can go la.  rolleyes.gif

Then when i brought it to her....lai liao la.....meletup again...start mumblimg and scolding.
SCOLD ME STUPID SOMEMORE IN FRONT OF HER MOTHER !  ranting.gif
" 蠢到死 "

I dulan just diam diam don't want bird her....since she in her mum's home....Me scolding her back sure will make me look like the bad guy instead.
Damn fed up with my GF cibai attitude.

Sifus.....I am really confused now...Is it really my fault ????
Are all girls really like that ?
I thought relationship should have mutual respect for each other !!!!!
*
So what do you planning to do starting from now........ If you want to be evil, i can teach you some tactics......

Tell her that you are going to break up with her and it final decision....... House can still stay together since sure got extra bedrooms ..... But set some house rules that she had no right to nag you or scold you anymore................

monsteru
post Oct 16 2021, 10:22 PM

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Can’t give a proper advice cos we don’t know how you are yet as a person. 7 years is a lot of investment.


Takudan
post Oct 17 2021, 03:19 AM

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QUOTE(6inchjj @ Oct 16 2021, 08:30 PM)
"I AM A GIRL MA..YOU GO FIND EVERYWHERE DE GIRL ALSO IS SAME DE LA !"
There was once I got tired of her cibai attitude that i want to break up with her.
At the beginning she still thinks I am playing with her....but when she realized I was serious , she started to cry. And even came to find me.
I straight told her that I kenot tahan her princess sickness and her cibai anger problems...little little things will suddenly meletup like a time bomb.  ranting.gif  ranting.gif

We drifted apart for more that a week  , then she approached me again...and somehow at that particular moment I felt that she really learnt her lesson.
She said she realized her mistake and will change herself to become a new person. So I forgave her and decided to give her a 2nd chance.  doh.gif ( I am hati lembik )  doh.gif
*
She's justifying her own (bad) attitude by assuming all girls are like that, well surprise surprise, not all girls are like that, and 2 wrongs won't make 1 right anyway.
It's good that recognised her problems and promised to try to fix herself, and guessing from how you lasted another 3-4 years, she was doing okayish then...

QUOTE(6inchjj @ Oct 16 2021, 08:30 PM)
When I say small matters , I mean really really remeh stuffs...
Example :
1. When come back from work , I didn't pour a cup of water for her.
2. Morning no cook breakfast for her to eat.

*
I see she has a few problems here:
1. "Not pouring a cup of water for her" - for something so damn trivial, that she's pissed about it, it means that she is completely taking you for granted, to the point that you are slave for her life. She is not appreciating you and the relationship.
> Quick and dirty fix is to threaten to leave her again like you did on your 3rd year, but I reckon everytime you do this, there will be a crack in your relationship - she will become increasingly insecure and it may affect how she trusts you.
>> So instead of that... I'd recommend sitting down to talk to her -- very cliched and boring yes, but it's really the most peaceful way to work things out. Make it a point to thank each other for the little things you do for each other. Make it a nightly talk where you wrap up your day with a report to each other, think about what she has done for you, and for her, what you did for her. If there's nothing to talk about, then it's either one is not doing enough, or the other is not thinking hard enough. For you both to be living under the same roof, even the simplest chore is something one can appreciate.

2. "Morning no cook breakfast" - she's not understanding your situation, and isn't being flexible enough about it. Not everything revolves around her. You may have stuff to do or you may not feel like it even, to cook something. Sure, she can get hangry for a bit, but I don't think it should be something for her to shout at you. Just grab delivery something la apa susah?

QUOTE(6inchjj @ Oct 16 2021, 08:30 PM)
SCOLD ME STUPID SOMEMORE IN FRONT OF HER MOTHER !  ranting.gif
" 蠢到死 "

I dulan just diam diam don't want bird her....since she in her mum's home....Me scolding her back sure will make me look like the bad guy instead.
Damn fed up with my GF cibai attitude.

Sifus.....I am really confused now...Is it really my fault ????
Are all girls really like that ?
I thought relationship should have mutual respect for each other !!!!!
*
3. Calling names and scolding in the public is very humiliating, for herself actually. You're "part of her" as her partner, and if she can't even treat you a little better than that, she's just showing herself to the world that
i) she cannot control her emotions
ii) she's rude
iii) she's inconsiderate and disrespectful

I can't tell you if it's your fault in any of your situation, but what you feel as a result of her actions is not something to brush aside and both should talk and do something about it. if you're really that stupid that she cannot take it, then do her a favour and leave lor. But if she's gonna cry about it (again), then clearly, her anger management hasn't gotten any better...

Ask her la, she wanna marry a slave or a decent human being? You can strive to be a better decent human being for her where you both care for each other, but you cannot degrade yourself to her lowly slave where everything is all about her and her alone.
cfa28
post Oct 17 2021, 11:38 AM

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It's your GF personality and emotional issues

She can't compartmentalise her issues so it's all mixed up and exploded to you

Long solution is to get her to accept it and speak to a psychologist or mental health counsellor

Short solution is just to break up and move on

Depends on how much you love her
-mystery-
post Oct 17 2021, 12:04 PM

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QUOTE(6inchjj @ Oct 16 2021, 08:30 PM)
I dulan just diam diam don't want bird her....since she in her mum's home....Me scolding her back sure will make me look like the bad guy instead.
*
No backbone at all. No wonder you open thread here
no people gonna trust you if you keep doing what you're doing now and let people run you over.
lordgamer3
post Oct 17 2021, 12:08 PM

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QUOTE(6inchjj @ Oct 16 2021, 08:30 PM)
As the title says , my gf has anger issues.

The first 2 years nothing much , pretty normal...well-mannered.
But the pattern all come during our 3rd year relationship...Damn cibai princess sickness....terrible mood swings.  vmad.gif

Everytime I waited for her to calm down a few days later, then only i confronted her regarding her anger problems..told her that her attitude is hurting me and making me feel miserable...honestly it's hurting the relationship.
But everytime she will just try to avoid the discussion and tried to brush it off macam selamba jer.. "I AM A GIRL MA..YOU GO FIND EVERYWHERE DE GIRL ALSO IS SAME DE LA !"
There was once I got tired of her cibai attitude that i want to break up with her.
At the beginning she still thinks I am playing with her....but when she realized I was serious , she started to cry. And even came to find me.
I straight told her that I kenot tahan her princess sickness and her cibai anger problems...little little things will suddenly meletup like a time bomb.  ranting.gif  ranting.gif

We drifted apart for more that a week  , then she approached me again...and somehow at that particular moment I felt that she really learnt her lesson.
She said she realized her mistake and will change herself to become a new person. So I forgave her and decided to give her a 2nd chance.  doh.gif ( I am hati lembik )  doh.gif

Fast forward ....now we are in our 7th year relationship. Now we already bought a house joint-nam and live together.
Occasionally she will still have anger issues , small small matters will meletup all of sudden like a timebomb.
When I say small matters , I mean really really remeh stuffs...
Example :
1. When come back from work , I didn't pour a cup of water for her.
2. Morning no cook breakfast for her to eat.


Just yesterday , she went back to her mum's home nearby , ask me to bring a baking stuff(Molasses Sugar) from our home for her...bcoz she wanna bake some bread using her mum's oven.
To be honest , I am not familiar with baking stuffs. I actually tried calling her but her phone no battery . So i just Googled how the stuff look like and took the most similar looking one lo...
I thought , no big deal ma..if ingredient wrong then mar substitute with other things lo...or just bake the bread another time lo , sincc her mum's house just nearby anytime also can go la.  rolleyes.gif

Then when i brought it to her....lai liao la.....meletup again...start mumblimg and scolding.
SCOLD ME STUPID SOMEMORE IN FRONT OF HER MOTHER !  ranting.gif
" 蠢到死 "

I dulan just diam diam don't want bird her....since she in her mum's home....Me scolding her back sure will make me look like the bad guy instead.
Damn fed up with my GF cibai attitude.

Sifus.....I am really confused now...Is it really my fault ????
Are all girls really like that ?
I thought relationship should have mutual respect for each other !!!!!
*
If she got issues other factors making her stress then understand ni nampak macam kurang ajar. Me means girl no respek i fark off.
TS6inchjj P
post Oct 17 2021, 03:24 PM

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Before this, we had several discussions together regarding her anger problem.
Most of the time, she would just try to avoid it like a child.
But sometimes, she will sit down quietly listen.
After that she will be ok for a period of time.

Then after some time, everything will reset and her temper will come back.

I always tend to choose the peaceful way, to the point that I feel like I am lecturing my daughter instead of a GF.

Some of you might say I am spineless, coward.... I won't deny that.. It is just not my nature to yell back at people.
(Perhaps that's the reason why my GF always take me for granted)

We gone a long way... And had our fair share of arguments... Now we finally owned a home together and planning to get married.
At this point, I really want to maintain our relationship because to get to this point in life takes a damn lot of efforts and sacrifices...

But seems like I am hurting myself inside while my GF just treat everything like normal... Not knowing how she has hurt me.

Damn man... Last night I an beginning to have some suicidal thoughts d...

This thought keeps lingering in my mind :
"I always tried to be kind to everybody... What did I do to deserve this? "
youngblood29us
post Oct 17 2021, 05:54 PM

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QUOTE(Ayammachiamboss @ Oct 16 2021, 08:49 PM)
You have to pour a cup of water for her after work? and make breakfast for her? wtf is that man?
*
Lol.. I felt the same.. Ts sold his soul already.. Too late..
nihility
post Oct 17 2021, 05:56 PM

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QUOTE(6inchjj @ Oct 16 2021, 08:30 PM)
As the title says , my gf has anger issues.

The first 2 years nothing much , pretty normal...well-mannered.
But the pattern all come during our 3rd year relationship...Damn cibai princess sickness....terrible mood swings.  vmad.gif

Everytime I waited for her to calm down a few days later, then only i confronted her regarding her anger problems..told her that her attitude is hurting me and making me feel miserable...honestly it's hurting the relationship.
But everytime she will just try to avoid the discussion and tried to brush it off macam selamba jer.. "I AM A GIRL MA..YOU GO FIND EVERYWHERE DE GIRL ALSO IS SAME DE LA !"
There was once I got tired of her cibai attitude that i want to break up with her.
At the beginning she still thinks I am playing with her....but when she realized I was serious , she started to cry. And even came to find me.
I straight told her that I kenot tahan her princess sickness and her cibai anger problems...little little things will suddenly meletup like a time bomb.  ranting.gif  ranting.gif

We drifted apart for more that a week  , then she approached me again...and somehow at that particular moment I felt that she really learnt her lesson.
She said she realized her mistake and will change herself to become a new person. So I forgave her and decided to give her a 2nd chance.  doh.gif ( I am hati lembik )  doh.gif

Fast forward ....now we are in our 7th year relationship. Now we already bought a house joint-nam and live together.
Occasionally she will still have anger issues , small small matters will meletup all of sudden like a timebomb.
When I say small matters , I mean really really remeh stuffs...
Example :
1. When come back from work , I didn't pour a cup of water for her.
2. Morning no cook breakfast for her to eat.


Just yesterday , she went back to her mum's home nearby , ask me to bring a baking stuff(Molasses Sugar) from our home for her...bcoz she wanna bake some bread using her mum's oven.
To be honest , I am not familiar with baking stuffs. I actually tried calling her but her phone no battery . So i just Googled how the stuff look like and took the most similar looking one lo...
I thought , no big deal ma..if ingredient wrong then mar substitute with other things lo...or just bake the bread another time lo , sincc her mum's house just nearby anytime also can go la.  rolleyes.gif

Then when i brought it to her....lai liao la.....meletup again...start mumblimg and scolding.
SCOLD ME STUPID SOMEMORE IN FRONT OF HER MOTHER !  ranting.gif
" 蠢到死 "

I dulan just diam diam don't want bird her....since she in her mum's home....Me scolding her back sure will make me look like the bad guy instead.
Damn fed up with my GF cibai attitude.

Sifus.....I am really confused now...Is it really my fault ????
Are all girls really like that ?
I thought relationship should have mutual respect for each other !!!!!
*
Kawan, not easy this 7th year itch. It will be a major test.

The event of the baking stuff, not your fault. If I were you, I'll show to her that I already tried to call & text, screen shots record, show to her who was the one not keeping the phone battery charged to prevent such outcome. Still want to push all the blame & be angry when knowing it the can be avoided had her phone battery is charged?

Does your GF treat her siblings the same manner & have the same anger issue ? Or only specifically toward you only ? Prior to this, did you promise her anything & the promise yet to be fulfilled ? Is there any chance she is comparing your with her peer's relationship & making a blanket assumption, that all male should do similar thing ?

What are the things that keep this relationship going for 7 years ? There must be something significant within these periods because 7 years is a long duration for the relationship & there should be many good & bad memories created. I'm inclined to believe that this anger stuff is not that significant compare to all the others or else you would not have come so far.

If I were in your shoes & if the option of trying to talk over the matter peacefully don't work (she is avoiding), knowing that I have made it clear that the matters are trivial, I'll let myself explode. Let it out, don't keep it within & get depressed yourself. If she really care about the relationship, she need to know how to redefine the definition of matter of importance in her dictionary. Let her know & experience the damage(let the whole week or whole month mood be jeopardized), for the small matter to be escalated to a big fight when it can be avoided because she choose to let it happen( limit the fight to verbal only, do not engage in physical fight at all cost). Remember the intention is only to school her that something can be avoided & not worth to be angry.

Just an opinion from me personally.

This post has been edited by nihility: Oct 17 2021, 06:00 PM
cfa28
post Oct 17 2021, 05:58 PM

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QUOTE(6inchjj @ Oct 17 2021, 03:24 PM)
Before this, we had several discussions together regarding her anger problem.
Most of the time, she would just try to avoid it like a child.
But sometimes, she will sit down quietly listen.
After that she will be ok for a period of time.

Then after some time, everything will reset and her temper will come back.

I always tend to choose the peaceful way, to the point that I feel like I am lecturing my daughter instead of a GF.

Some of you might say I am spineless, coward.... I won't deny that.. It is just not my nature to yell back at people.
(Perhaps that's the reason why my GF always take me for granted)

We gone a long way... And had our fair share of arguments... Now we finally owned a home together and planning to get married.
At this point, I really want to maintain our relationship because to get to this point in life takes a damn lot of efforts and sacrifices...

But seems like I am hurting myself inside while my GF just treat everything like normal... Not knowing how she has hurt me.

Damn man... Last night I an beginning to have some suicidal thoughts d...

This thought keeps lingering in my mind :
"I always tried to be kind to everybody... What did I do to deserve this? "
*
My sincere advice to you as a married man after reading more of your story is for you to break up now

You don't want to live your entire life this way

Now there is no kids, it's easy to walk away

If you have kids.. Messy
shinjite
post Oct 17 2021, 07:36 PM

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QUOTE(6inchjj @ Oct 17 2021, 03:24 PM)
Before this, we had several discussions together regarding her anger problem.
Most of the time, she would just try to avoid it like a child.
But sometimes, she will sit down quietly listen.
After that she will be ok for a period of time.

Then after some time, everything will reset and her temper will come back.

I always tend to choose the peaceful way, to the point that I feel like I am lecturing my daughter instead of a GF.

Some of you might say I am spineless, coward.... I won't deny that.. It is just not my nature to yell back at people.
(Perhaps that's the reason why my GF always take me for granted)

We gone a long way... And had our fair share of arguments... Now we finally owned a home together and planning to get married.
At this point, I really want to maintain our relationship because to get to this point in life takes a damn lot of efforts and sacrifices...

But seems like I am hurting myself inside while my GF just treat everything like normal... Not knowing how she has hurt me.

Damn man... Last night I an beginning to have some suicidal thoughts d...

This thought keeps lingering in my mind :
"I always tried to be kind to everybody... What did I do to deserve this? "
*
It has been 7 years, you know her more than we do plus you two are living together under the same roof. If you already have suicidal thoughts now, you will have even more moving forward. Think carefully what's your next move, I would say it is not worth jeopardizing your well being if the relationship turns even more toxic unless you feel that she is the one you want to grow old together. Same goes to her, is her end game the same as yours till the end?

-mystery-
post Oct 17 2021, 07:52 PM

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QUOTE(6inchjj @ Oct 17 2021, 03:24 PM)
.. Now we finally owned a home together and planning to get married.
*
salute, lol.
baby_4ever
post Oct 17 2021, 07:55 PM

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QUOTE(6inchjj @ Oct 16 2021, 08:30 PM)
As the title says , my gf has anger issues.

The first 2 years nothing much , pretty normal...well-mannered.
But the pattern all come during our 3rd year relationship...Damn cibai princess sickness....terrible mood swings.  vmad.gif

Everytime I waited for her to calm down a few days later, then only i confronted her regarding her anger problems..told her that her attitude is hurting me and making me feel miserable...honestly it's hurting the relationship.
But everytime she will just try to avoid the discussion and tried to brush it off macam selamba jer.. "I AM A GIRL MA..YOU GO FIND EVERYWHERE DE GIRL ALSO IS SAME DE LA !"
There was once I got tired of her cibai attitude that i want to break up with her.
At the beginning she still thinks I am playing with her....but when she realized I was serious , she started to cry. And even came to find me.
I straight told her that I kenot tahan her princess sickness and her cibai anger problems...little little things will suddenly meletup like a time bomb.  ranting.gif  ranting.gif

We drifted apart for more that a week  , then she approached me again...and somehow at that particular moment I felt that she really learnt her lesson.
She said she realized her mistake and will change herself to become a new person. So I forgave her and decided to give her a 2nd chance.  doh.gif ( I am hati lembik )  doh.gif

Fast forward ....now we are in our 7th year relationship. Now we already bought a house joint-nam and live together.
Occasionally she will still have anger issues , small small matters will meletup all of sudden like a timebomb.
When I say small matters , I mean really really remeh stuffs...
Example :
1. When come back from work , I didn't pour a cup of water for her.
2. Morning no cook breakfast for her to eat.


Just yesterday , she went back to her mum's home nearby , ask me to bring a baking stuff(Molasses Sugar) from our home for her...bcoz she wanna bake some bread using her mum's oven.
To be honest , I am not familiar with baking stuffs. I actually tried calling her but her phone no battery . So i just Googled how the stuff look like and took the most similar looking one lo...
I thought , no big deal ma..if ingredient wrong then mar substitute with other things lo...or just bake the bread another time lo , sincc her mum's house just nearby anytime also can go la.  rolleyes.gif

Then when i brought it to her....lai liao la.....meletup again...start mumblimg and scolding.
SCOLD ME STUPID SOMEMORE IN FRONT OF HER MOTHER !  ranting.gif
" 蠢到死 "

I dulan just diam diam don't want bird her....since she in her mum's home....Me scolding her back sure will make me look like the bad guy instead.
Damn fed up with my GF cibai attitude.

Sifus.....I am really confused now...Is it really my fault ????
Are all girls really like that ?
I thought relationship should have mutual respect for each other !!!!!
*
Time to get new GF, no need for headache like this.

cablesguy
post Oct 17 2021, 08:33 PM

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This
1. When come back from work , I didn't pour a cup of water for her.
2. Morning no cook breakfast for her to eat.

Are you being serious? If you are, my condolences bro

Pack and leave la, be happy, if not

You should change your nick from 6inchjj to takdabiji




ymc2303
post Oct 17 2021, 08:44 PM

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if you can convinced yourself to be in relationship with someone with anger management for 7yrs, most likely you have learned how to compromise with her one way or another. sometimes its a love and hate kind of stuff.. or sometimes what they utter doesn't really have the sting to it.. even married couples have this issue, yet in marriage they still am strong. probably lesson of give and take... if everything also calculate til precise, its better to part ways.
-mystery-
post Oct 17 2021, 09:11 PM

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QUOTE(cablesguy @ Oct 17 2021, 08:33 PM)
This
1. When come back from work , I didn't pour a cup of water for her.
2. Morning no cook breakfast for her to eat.

Are you being serious? If you are, my condolences bro

Pack and leave la, be happy, if not

You should change your nick from 6inchjj to takdabiji
*
Trolling cc post
Blofeld
post Oct 18 2021, 03:23 AM

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is it because her parents are like that too?

shouting here and there

sometimes i could hear some specific nearby neighbour where the father/mother would shout at their children. doh.gif This would send a wrong message to the kids. So, i believe the kids would do the same to others in the future. Shouting and calling names to others.
mytrader
post Oct 18 2021, 01:23 PM

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QUOTE(6inchjj @ Oct 17 2021, 03:24 PM)
Before this, we had several discussions together regarding her anger problem.
Most of the time, she would just try to avoid it like a child.
But sometimes, she will sit down quietly listen.
After that she will be ok for a period of time.

Then after some time, everything will reset and her temper will come back.

I always tend to choose the peaceful way, to the point that I feel like I am lecturing my daughter instead of a GF.

Some of you might say I am spineless, coward.... I won't deny that.. It is just not my nature to yell back at people.
(Perhaps that's the reason why my GF always take me for granted)

We gone a long way... And had our fair share of arguments... Now we finally owned a home together and planning to get married.
At this point, I really want to maintain our relationship because to get to this point in life takes a damn lot of efforts and sacrifices...

But seems like I am hurting myself inside while my GF just treat everything like normal... Not knowing how she has hurt me.

Damn man... Last night I an beginning to have some suicidal thoughts d...

This thought keeps lingering in my mind :
"I always tried to be kind to everybody... What did I do to deserve this? "
*
Look for the nearest exit..., short term pain is better than long term pain .

You wife is someone you will need to (hopefully) spent the rest of your life with. If you have already lay this out with her and she is unable to change, it's better to cut lost .

It will be much more painful when kids are involved after you are married and this again becomes a point of suffering and you want to exit.

Life should be happy as best possible, especially when it still can be in your hands to control.
negayem
post Oct 18 2021, 01:59 PM

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QUOTE(6inchjj @ Oct 17 2021, 03:24 PM)

I always tend to choose the peaceful way, to the point that I feel like I am lecturing my daughter instead of a GF.

Some of you might say I am spineless, coward.... I won't deny that.. It is just not my nature to yell back at people.
(Perhaps that's the reason why my GF always take me for granted)

*
Hate to say this but breaking up will be the best for you. If you think that after marriage, things will get better ... chances are it'll get worse. Living with such person is a mental torture. Unconsciously you'll start to accommodate her more just to have peace and because you don't want her to 'meletop'. However, the more you do that the worst her behaviour will become. Unless she's willing to change (almost impossible), walk away bro ...
miromiro
post Oct 18 2021, 03:56 PM

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Not all girls are like this...
zstan
post Oct 18 2021, 04:05 PM

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why u so dumb go buy house with her? damn hard to resolve this mess now
DaisySummer
post Oct 18 2021, 05:29 PM

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QUOTE(6inchjj @ Oct 16 2021, 08:30 PM)
Sifus.....I am really confused now...Is it really my fault ????
Are all girls really like that ?
I thought relationship should have mutual respect for each other !!!!!
*
1. Sifus.....I am really confused now...Is it really my fault ????
If it's just that baking incident, yes it is your fault. If you're unsure you can check with her first, or call her family who is with her to confirm. But she also took you for granted since you're helping she should be thanking you for your help although it was a wrong item. This would be mutual respect. She can bake on another day.

2. Are all girls really like that ?
No. Plenty of girls are not. Just because she says so doesn't mean it's that way. You can verify it for yourself by observing how your female friends treat their boyfriend. Not asking you to chase them, just observing and see with your own eyes that there are many types of personality and temper. Then you decide if your gf is the one you really want to be with.

3. I thought relationship should have mutual respect for each other !!!!!
Yeah. But I'm also not quite sure if you respect her as well. She has anger issues, but you also seem to have problem controlling your own judging from your choice of words and the exclamation marks. Maybe you're just venting out for this moment, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt for now. She used words like 蠢到死 but you also use 'cxbxx anger problem', 'cxbxx princess attitude'. Perhaps you're not too different from her as well.

Anyway, anger issue can be detrimental to relationship. Because it affects your mood daily. My ex boss has anger issue. She has a young kid and the husband decided one day to divorce her because he's had it enough, life is too stressful with constant yelling at home. I can emphatize her ex-husband, because she does the same at work and meletup for even small matter. After all we just want to have some peace. She also cried and beg the husband to salvage the relationship. But we all know, working on oneself is not something easy and quick. It takes lots of reflection and humility to make real changes.

Hope you think carefully if you're thinking of starting a new family with her. Wish you happiness.

This post has been edited by DaisySummer: Oct 18 2021, 05:30 PM
heinlein
post Oct 18 2021, 06:28 PM

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after married even worst, everyday scold you til you get autism
mindwarpe
post Oct 19 2021, 09:12 AM

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don't consider so much TS,
RUN AWAY.
there is no compromise in shit like this.
been thru trying to work shit out but it will never work out.
kinda like personality dont match.
if u want personal story can PM .
but yeah. LEAVE.

*even if u let her read this thread. or she accidently read this thread.
trust me . nobody can and will change just like that.
nobody. dont waste ur time.

This post has been edited by mindwarpe: Oct 19 2021, 10:42 AM
beebee1314
post Oct 19 2021, 09:49 AM

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Haha my 1st ex is exactly like this. God bless we broke up. I tell u. This kind of toxic relationship, better don't get married. Otherwise later your wealth all must share half
Takudan
post Oct 19 2021, 11:42 AM

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QUOTE(6inchjj @ Oct 17 2021, 03:24 PM)
At this point, I really want to maintain our relationship because to get to this point in life takes a damn lot of efforts and sacrifices...

But seems like I am hurting myself inside while my GF just treat everything like normal... Not knowing how she has hurt me.

Damn man... Last night I an beginning to have some suicidal thoughts d...
*
Imagine yourself single for life, or stuck with this explosive lady, which lifestyle would you prefer?
One, you'll feel lonely sometimes but you're at peace.
Or, you'll probably have some fun sometimes, but other than that you're trapped and suffocated, even suicidal as you said.

...Is the relationship worth maintaining after all?

I'd say give yourself one last chance to save the relationship. To calm both sides of your brain:
1) you want to save the relationship
2) you want to save your sanity
Give a time limit or a condition on when to call it quits or continue. You can choose to tell her or not, whatever you feel is better for the relationship or yourself. On one hand, telling her lets her know the severity of this issue and how serious you are. On the other, it sows seeds of insecurity as you put the relationship on the line (again), or that it allows her to "fake" her change for a short period of time again to give you false hope.

Comes what may, you know you've tried your best and you will have no regrets.

QUOTE(6inchjj @ Oct 17 2021, 03:24 PM)
"I always tried to be kind to everybody... What did I do to deserve this? "
*
You can answer that better yourself -- have you wronged her to deserve such treatment? While she may be the major problem, you can also reflect upon yourself to find out if there's anything you can improve for next time.
Sasuke95
post Oct 19 2021, 05:43 PM

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Do not disgrace us men, so this is how men got treated now? Where's your dignity? In the drain? It's beyond anyone's sanity that you endured this for so long.

Believe me, when something has been deeply established (say spoiled a child too much for too long), they can't change. If you've been drinking clean water then all of sudden you can only drink dirty water, you're not gonna put up with that bs.

It's easy to confuse long duration with love, you said it yourself, it's just miserable, respect is out of window, just leave and find someone that's comfortable to be with.
MdmWSW
post Oct 20 2021, 03:24 PM

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As a female.i feel this is very toxic and unacceptable. Not all females are like that as she said.

Even if u both don't break up, ask yourself can you live with this forever? She needs to improve on her anger management man
RaeZhiHao
post Oct 20 2021, 05:32 PM

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you are not the only one suffer

Imagine your kids....you will be pain in heart when seeing your wife scolding those innocent child even just a small mistake.... she will hit them out of anger and doesnt care whether its pain or not.....

Do think twice bro.......happen to many couples....when wife show sign of anger, once marry its difficult to divorce.... but you yourself get the blame like now...u wont bother much by that time....but when children who are innocent makes slightest mistake.....for them to have a mum acting like this......

All the best...... I wish you all the best......


pej425
post Oct 20 2021, 05:52 PM

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wh cant you find another person ,you rather suffer??, if in the job you will resign right.so treat this like how you would have done in a horrible job
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post Oct 20 2021, 06:29 PM

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QUOTE(6inchjj @ Oct 17 2021, 03:24 PM)
» Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «

*
Put aside her anger management issues at the moment. Without that component, is she someone you want to be with? Have you thought about where the anger might be coming from? Anger doesn't come up from no where, there is always a cause, even if the person doesn't consciously know it.

The big question you need to answer first, is if you believe in the best in her and are willing to commit to see her through. If not, just end the relationship to end your misery. If you accept the struggle, then next is to find a solution. The anger issue must be addressed because it will continue to hurt your relationship and once you have kids, it'll be far far worse.

If she knows her anger is an issue, see if she's open to seeking therapy. Go as a couple. As much as she needs to learn how to manage her anger, you also need to learn how to manage her, and figure out your own issues at the same time. No one is perfect, not her, not you.

inquiries
post Oct 21 2021, 05:30 PM

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I know many people are saying things like "run away", "break up", but do consider what silverhawk replied above.

I understand that you are frustrated on certain aspect of her attitude, but do list out the good things about her for yourself too. Yes relationship is about mutual respect, but she might not know if you don't voice it out with her.
You don't need to mention anything about breaking up or so, just tell her that you value her very much, but her certain attitude is making you very uncomfortable. She might be willing to change.
-mystery-
post Oct 21 2021, 06:46 PM

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Its like telling an overweight person to lose weight, where the speaker themselves are probably not fit lmao.

you lose power, everytime you try to explain to someone.
Chisinlouz
post Oct 21 2021, 09:43 PM

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QUOTE(6inchjj @ Oct 16 2021, 08:30 PM)
We drifted apart for more that a week  , then she approached me again...and somehow at that particular moment I felt that she really learnt her lesson.
She said she realized her mistake and will change herself to become a new person. So I forgave her and decided to give her a 2nd chance.  doh.gif ( I am hati lembik )  doh.gif

Fast forward ....now we are in our 7th year relationship. Now we already bought a house joint-nam and live together.
Occasionally she will still have anger issues , small small matters will meletup all of sudden like a timebomb.

I dulan just diam diam don't want bird her....since she in her mum's home....Me scolding her back sure will make me look like the bad guy instead.
Damn fed up with my GF cibai attitude.

Sifus.....I am really confused now...Is it really my fault ????

Are all girls really like that ?
I thought relationship should have mutual respect for each other !!!!!
*
Look at sentences I maintain. If she is the boyfriend then definitely "He" is the bad guy that doesn't and will not change. The bad excuses, promised "will-not-do-it-again" ect.

Yes it's your fault for not able to make a decisive call. Man up and stop wasting her time.

On the house chapter, it's kind of death trap. Sell it off even at a loss. I've seen many.

Choose your life or we'll expecting divorce in the future.
Chisinlouz
post Oct 21 2021, 09:47 PM

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QUOTE(inquiries @ Oct 21 2021, 05:30 PM)
I know many people are saying things like "run away", "break up", but do consider what silverhawk replied above.

I understand that you are frustrated on certain aspect of her attitude, but do list out the good things about her for yourself too. Yes relationship is about mutual respect, but she might not know if you don't voice it out with her.
You don't need to mention anything about breaking up or so, just tell her that you value her very much, but her certain attitude is making you very uncomfortable. She might be willing to change.
*
TS dint owe her and from his one sided story, he is doing fine while GF is the one causing trouble.

SO... deep question here TS: did you betray her, feeling guilty and turn into an obligation to treat your GF nice now?

You hear about 7 years itch...in modern day long time relationship counts as well.

This post has been edited by Chisinlouz: Oct 21 2021, 10:03 PM
foofoosasa
post Oct 23 2021, 05:13 PM

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Sounds like my first relationship as well. Luckily I got away
ZZR-Pilot
post Oct 23 2021, 08:07 PM

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QUOTE(6inchjj @ Oct 16 2021, 09:30 PM)
As the title says , my gf has anger issues.

The first 2 years nothing much , pretty normal...well-mannered.
But the pattern all come during our 3rd year relationship...Damn cibai princess sickness....terrible mood swings.  vmad.gif

Everytime I waited for her to calm down a few days later, then only i confronted her regarding her anger problems..told her that her attitude is hurting me and making me feel miserable...honestly it's hurting the relationship.
But everytime she will just try to avoid the discussion and tried to brush it off macam selamba jer.. "I AM A GIRL MA..YOU GO FIND EVERYWHERE DE GIRL ALSO IS SAME DE LA !"
There was once I got tired of her cibai attitude that i want to break up with her.
At the beginning she still thinks I am playing with her....but when she realized I was serious , she started to cry. And even came to find me.
I straight told her that I kenot tahan her princess sickness and her cibai anger problems...little little things will suddenly meletup like a time bomb.  ranting.gif  ranting.gif

We drifted apart for more that a week  , then she approached me again...and somehow at that particular moment I felt that she really learnt her lesson.
She said she realized her mistake and will change herself to become a new person. So I forgave her and decided to give her a 2nd chance.  doh.gif ( I am hati lembik )  doh.gif

Fast forward ....now we are in our 7th year relationship. Now we already bought a house joint-nam and live together.
Occasionally she will still have anger issues , small small matters will meletup all of sudden like a timebomb.
When I say small matters , I mean really really remeh stuffs...
Example :
1. When come back from work , I didn't pour a cup of water for her.
2. Morning no cook breakfast for her to eat.


Just yesterday , she went back to her mum's home nearby , ask me to bring a baking stuff(Molasses Sugar) from our home for her...bcoz she wanna bake some bread using her mum's oven.
To be honest , I am not familiar with baking stuffs. I actually tried calling her but her phone no battery . So i just Googled how the stuff look like and took the most similar looking one lo...
I thought , no big deal ma..if ingredient wrong then mar substitute with other things lo...or just bake the bread another time lo , sincc her mum's house just nearby anytime also can go la.  rolleyes.gif

Then when i brought it to her....lai liao la.....meletup again...start mumblimg and scolding.
SCOLD ME STUPID SOMEMORE IN FRONT OF HER MOTHER !  ranting.gif
" 蠢到死 "

I dulan just diam diam don't want bird her....since she in her mum's home....Me scolding her back sure will make me look like the bad guy instead.
Damn fed up with my GF cibai attitude.

Sifus.....I am really confused now...Is it really my fault ????
Are all girls really like that ?
I thought relationship should have mutual respect for each other !!!!!
*
Why are you even wasting your time? Walk away.

xPrototype
post Oct 24 2021, 01:16 PM

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The sex life very gooding? Or else I dont know what does she contribute in the relationship to make you continue until 7th year, bought a house together and planning to get married somemore smile.gif
Mspot
post Oct 25 2021, 12:07 PM

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Looks like her temper is deep rooted in her. Even if she changes, it will still surface from time to time. Can you accept that?

You seemed afraid to be seen as the 'bad guy'. Why? You should defend yourself even if it means arguing with her in front of other people. I would assume over the 7 years, people surrounding you would have known that you give in to her most of the time. So if you stand your ground at this stage, I don't think people will blame you. At the same time, so what if people did? You want to suffer like this for the rest of your life? YOLO.

All your description of her in the thread is negative. You don't see anything positive in her? Then move on.
Pakatan SinMa Plus
post Oct 28 2021, 02:43 PM

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Belum ada anak sudah ada anger management issue, lepas ada anak mungkin lagi teruk (higher stress when taking care of toddlers) sweat.gif
LordPennDragon
post Oct 29 2021, 02:11 AM

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QUOTE(6inchjj @ Oct 16 2021, 08:30 PM)
As the title says , my gf has anger issues.

The first 2 years nothing much , pretty normal...well-mannered.
But the pattern all come during our 3rd year relationship...Damn cibai princess sickness....terrible mood swings.  vmad.gif

Everytime I waited for her to calm down a few days later, then only i confronted her regarding her anger problems..told her that her attitude is hurting me and making me feel miserable...honestly it's hurting the relationship.
But everytime she will just try to avoid the discussion and tried to brush it off macam selamba jer.. "I AM A GIRL MA..YOU GO FIND EVERYWHERE DE GIRL ALSO IS SAME DE LA !"
There was once I got tired of her cibai attitude that i want to break up with her.
At the beginning she still thinks I am playing with her....but when she realized I was serious , she started to cry. And even came to find me.
I straight told her that I kenot tahan her princess sickness and her cibai anger problems...little little things will suddenly meletup like a time bomb.  ranting.gif  ranting.gif

We drifted apart for more that a week  , then she approached me again...and somehow at that particular moment I felt that she really learnt her lesson.
She said she realized her mistake and will change herself to become a new person. So I forgave her and decided to give her a 2nd chance.  doh.gif ( I am hati lembik )  doh.gif

Fast forward ....now we are in our 7th year relationship. Now we already bought a house joint-nam and live together.
Occasionally she will still have anger issues , small small matters will meletup all of sudden like a timebomb.
When I say small matters , I mean really really remeh stuffs...
Example :
1. When come back from work , I didn't pour a cup of water for her.
2. Morning no cook breakfast for her to eat.


Just yesterday , she went back to her mum's home nearby , ask me to bring a baking stuff(Molasses Sugar) from our home for her...bcoz she wanna bake some bread using her mum's oven.
To be honest , I am not familiar with baking stuffs. I actually tried calling her but her phone no battery . So i just Googled how the stuff look like and took the most similar looking one lo...
I thought , no big deal ma..if ingredient wrong then mar substitute with other things lo...or just bake the bread another time lo , sincc her mum's house just nearby anytime also can go la.  rolleyes.gif

Then when i brought it to her....lai liao la.....meletup again...start mumblimg and scolding.
SCOLD ME STUPID SOMEMORE IN FRONT OF HER MOTHER !  ranting.gif
" 蠢到死 "

I dulan just diam diam don't want bird her....since she in her mum's home....Me scolding her back sure will make me look like the bad guy instead.
Damn fed up with my GF cibai attitude.

Sifus.....I am really confused now...Is it really my fault ????
Are all girls really like that ?
I thought relationship should have mutual respect for each other !!!!!
*
Why now? After year, bought a house together, now baru complain? You should have known the cibainess will explode and can only become worse with time if not addressed properly.

She went crazy on you because you dont pour water ? Make breakfast? mate, you ok or not? Obviously there is an underlying issue that made her cibai on you. Is it her or is it you? or is it both?

Hormonal? physical stuff? Emotional? Mental? A tactic to make you leave? you a real cibai, so she cibai you back? boredom? Sakit hati with you?

Check it out, if you truly want to stay, must know the root cause. If you want to chow cincau dy, pack your stuff and go la. thumbsup.gif
thesoothsayer
post Oct 31 2021, 01:26 AM

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Get out, dude. Easier now than after marriage.

Had a similar relationship for a while. Not sure how you lasted so long.

The part where she says other girls are the same sounds familiar. I remember this ex of mine telling me other girls were worse. Of course, I knew they weren't. Also the part where we do what we think are nice things for them, and they think it's an obligation for us to serve them rather than feel grateful.

I'm sure you'll be happier without her.
moonhowler
post Oct 31 2021, 09:24 AM

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QUOTE(6inchjj @ Oct 16 2021, 08:30 PM)
As the title says , my gf has anger issues.

The first 2 years nothing much , pretty normal...well-mannered.
But the pattern all come during our 3rd year relationship...Damn cibai princess sickness....terrible mood swings.  vmad.gif

Everytime I waited for her to calm down a few days later, then only i confronted her regarding her anger problems..told her that her attitude is hurting me and making me feel miserable...honestly it's hurting the relationship.
But everytime she will just try to avoid the discussion and tried to brush it off macam selamba jer.. "I AM A GIRL MA..YOU GO FIND EVERYWHERE DE GIRL ALSO IS SAME DE LA !"
There was once I got tired of her cibai attitude that i want to break up with her.
At the beginning she still thinks I am playing with her....but when she realized I was serious , she started to cry. And even came to find me.
I straight told her that I kenot tahan her princess sickness and her cibai anger problems...little little things will suddenly meletup like a time bomb.  ranting.gif  ranting.gif

We drifted apart for more that a week  , then she approached me again...and somehow at that particular moment I felt that she really learnt her lesson.
She said she realized her mistake and will change herself to become a new person. So I forgave her and decided to give her a 2nd chance.  doh.gif ( I am hati lembik )  doh.gif

Fast forward ....now we are in our 7th year relationship. Now we already bought a house joint-nam and live together.
Occasionally she will still have anger issues , small small matters will meletup all of sudden like a timebomb.
When I say small matters , I mean really really remeh stuffs...
Example :
1. When come back from work , I didn't pour a cup of water for her.
2. Morning no cook breakfast for her to eat.


Just yesterday , she went back to her mum's home nearby , ask me to bring a baking stuff(Molasses Sugar) from our home for her...bcoz she wanna bake some bread using her mum's oven.
To be honest , I am not familiar with baking stuffs. I actually tried calling her but her phone no battery . So i just Googled how the stuff look like and took the most similar looking one lo...
I thought , no big deal ma..if ingredient wrong then mar substitute with other things lo...or just bake the bread another time lo , sincc her mum's house just nearby anytime also can go la.  rolleyes.gif

Then when i brought it to her....lai liao la.....meletup again...start mumblimg and scolding.
SCOLD ME STUPID SOMEMORE IN FRONT OF HER MOTHER !  ranting.gif
" 蠢到死 "

I dulan just diam diam don't want bird her....since she in her mum's home....Me scolding her back sure will make me look like the bad guy instead.
Damn fed up with my GF cibai attitude.

Sifus.....I am really confused now...Is it really my fault ????
Are all girls really like that ?
I thought relationship should have mutual respect for each other !!!!!
*
Your last questions
Not your fault
Not all girl like that
I had a gf like u for 6 years and understand what u feel.
Broke up, the relieved and best decision in my life.

Im almost a year with my current gf, and she is nothing like my ex...

Zidanefish
post Oct 31 2021, 09:42 PM

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I see something I pantang - why buy house together before getting married? That's a big no no. Even married already also shouldn't.
synex
post Nov 25 2021, 12:10 AM

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Joined: Jan 2003
From: ~MoRRoWiND~
QUOTE(6inchjj @ Oct 17 2021, 03:24 PM)
Before this, we had several discussions together regarding her anger problem.
Most of the time, she would just try to avoid it like a child.
But sometimes, she will sit down quietly listen.
After that she will be ok for a period of time.

Then after some time, everything will reset and her temper will come back.

I always tend to choose the peaceful way, to the point that I feel like I am lecturing my daughter instead of a GF.

Some of you might say I am spineless, coward.... I won't deny that.. It is just not my nature to yell back at people.
(Perhaps that's the reason why my GF always take me for granted)

We gone a long way... And had our fair share of arguments... Now we finally owned a home together and planning to get married.
At this point, I really want to maintain our relationship because to get to this point in life takes a damn lot of efforts and sacrifices...

But seems like I am hurting myself inside while my GF just treat everything like normal... Not knowing how she has hurt me.

Damn man... Last night I an beginning to have some suicidal thoughts d...

This thought keeps lingering in my mind :
"I always tried to be kind to everybody... What did I do to deserve this? "
*
Bro...i respect you because you are trying all your best to settle all the problems in a good manner.
Do you ever try to understand what's the underlying problem with your gf? Try to talk to her again and this time shall let her know that her attitude
and anger management is poor. And also do let her know how you feel about her when all these things happened without any proper explanation. Direct inform her that
you barely longer withstands her attitude and might leave her if these continues. Is her behavior inherit from the family? Should try to figure out what is the root cause of all this.
I believe talk and discuss to each other is the only option for you to decide whether to stay or go from this relationship. Trust me, you should lead the way cause not all ladies will understand what you have had done for them if you insist to keep silent and pampered them as if they are out of logic. Good Luck bro.
Chaud
post Nov 25 2021, 10:41 AM

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QUOTE(6inchjj @ Oct 16 2021, 08:30 PM)

Are all girls really like that ?
I thought relationship should have mutual respect for each other !!!!!
*
no.. if all girls like that i believe many men sure got mental health issue d
OlgaC4
post Nov 25 2021, 12:36 PM

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Joined: Nov 2006
Step away. It will get worse after marry. Stay on if you can take it and except her weakness.
Roboguru P
post Dec 7 2021, 01:39 PM

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could be that time of the month. Get a mood tracker app and monitor.
Justice Supreme P
post Dec 24 2021, 12:52 AM

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One of my ex gf have such princess attitude. Get angry easily even if its small matters.

FoR Example when she try tellin me story she like to jump here and there, and like to mix all the ppl in her story which confuses me moet of the time. So i will ask her jst to be sure who is who..and usually when i ask 2nd time she felt i was paying attention and got angry.

She also likes throwing tantrums when i didnt do what she wants me to do. Sometimes just simply coz i dont want or i have other ideas. She dont want to accept my ideas usually coz if she think she's right then she's never wrong.

I blame that on her parents pampering her, being the only daughter. She have 2 brothers.

Long story short, took me quite some time to break up with her because she's quite pretty. Not to mention her parents are loaded . She was 25 that time and never worked before..jst go help out her dad's factories like once or twice a wk and got like 8k pocket money per wk .

Anyway, after broke up, i felt like a sense of burden was lifted. No longer have to endure hardship or suffering.

So i guess even with her being pretty and rich, it might not worth the hassle and headache.. especially when she'd not gonna improve as she dont see that as something bad.

Sorry for hijcking but i think u might wanna try taking few mths of separation to review your relationship. So at least she know you're serious with her princess attitude.

 

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