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> GF anger issues, 7 years relatioship

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Chisinlouz
post Oct 21 2021, 09:43 PM

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QUOTE(6inchjj @ Oct 16 2021, 08:30 PM)
We drifted apart for more that a week  , then she approached me again...and somehow at that particular moment I felt that she really learnt her lesson.
She said she realized her mistake and will change herself to become a new person. So I forgave her and decided to give her a 2nd chance.  doh.gif ( I am hati lembik )  doh.gif

Fast forward ....now we are in our 7th year relationship. Now we already bought a house joint-nam and live together.
Occasionally she will still have anger issues , small small matters will meletup all of sudden like a timebomb.

I dulan just diam diam don't want bird her....since she in her mum's home....Me scolding her back sure will make me look like the bad guy instead.
Damn fed up with my GF cibai attitude.

Sifus.....I am really confused now...Is it really my fault ????

Are all girls really like that ?
I thought relationship should have mutual respect for each other !!!!!
*
Look at sentences I maintain. If she is the boyfriend then definitely "He" is the bad guy that doesn't and will not change. The bad excuses, promised "will-not-do-it-again" ect.

Yes it's your fault for not able to make a decisive call. Man up and stop wasting her time.

On the house chapter, it's kind of death trap. Sell it off even at a loss. I've seen many.

Choose your life or we'll expecting divorce in the future.
Chisinlouz
post Oct 21 2021, 09:47 PM

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QUOTE(inquiries @ Oct 21 2021, 05:30 PM)
I know many people are saying things like "run away", "break up", but do consider what silverhawk replied above.

I understand that you are frustrated on certain aspect of her attitude, but do list out the good things about her for yourself too. Yes relationship is about mutual respect, but she might not know if you don't voice it out with her.
You don't need to mention anything about breaking up or so, just tell her that you value her very much, but her certain attitude is making you very uncomfortable. She might be willing to change.
*
TS dint owe her and from his one sided story, he is doing fine while GF is the one causing trouble.

SO... deep question here TS: did you betray her, feeling guilty and turn into an obligation to treat your GF nice now?

You hear about 7 years itch...in modern day long time relationship counts as well.

This post has been edited by Chisinlouz: Oct 21 2021, 10:03 PM
foofoosasa
post Oct 23 2021, 05:13 PM

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Sounds like my first relationship as well. Luckily I got away
ZZR-Pilot
post Oct 23 2021, 08:07 PM

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QUOTE(6inchjj @ Oct 16 2021, 09:30 PM)
As the title says , my gf has anger issues.

The first 2 years nothing much , pretty normal...well-mannered.
But the pattern all come during our 3rd year relationship...Damn cibai princess sickness....terrible mood swings.  vmad.gif

Everytime I waited for her to calm down a few days later, then only i confronted her regarding her anger problems..told her that her attitude is hurting me and making me feel miserable...honestly it's hurting the relationship.
But everytime she will just try to avoid the discussion and tried to brush it off macam selamba jer.. "I AM A GIRL MA..YOU GO FIND EVERYWHERE DE GIRL ALSO IS SAME DE LA !"
There was once I got tired of her cibai attitude that i want to break up with her.
At the beginning she still thinks I am playing with her....but when she realized I was serious , she started to cry. And even came to find me.
I straight told her that I kenot tahan her princess sickness and her cibai anger problems...little little things will suddenly meletup like a time bomb.  ranting.gif  ranting.gif

We drifted apart for more that a week  , then she approached me again...and somehow at that particular moment I felt that she really learnt her lesson.
She said she realized her mistake and will change herself to become a new person. So I forgave her and decided to give her a 2nd chance.  doh.gif ( I am hati lembik )  doh.gif

Fast forward ....now we are in our 7th year relationship. Now we already bought a house joint-nam and live together.
Occasionally she will still have anger issues , small small matters will meletup all of sudden like a timebomb.
When I say small matters , I mean really really remeh stuffs...
Example :
1. When come back from work , I didn't pour a cup of water for her.
2. Morning no cook breakfast for her to eat.


Just yesterday , she went back to her mum's home nearby , ask me to bring a baking stuff(Molasses Sugar) from our home for her...bcoz she wanna bake some bread using her mum's oven.
To be honest , I am not familiar with baking stuffs. I actually tried calling her but her phone no battery . So i just Googled how the stuff look like and took the most similar looking one lo...
I thought , no big deal ma..if ingredient wrong then mar substitute with other things lo...or just bake the bread another time lo , sincc her mum's house just nearby anytime also can go la.  rolleyes.gif

Then when i brought it to her....lai liao la.....meletup again...start mumblimg and scolding.
SCOLD ME STUPID SOMEMORE IN FRONT OF HER MOTHER !  ranting.gif
" 蠢到死 "

I dulan just diam diam don't want bird her....since she in her mum's home....Me scolding her back sure will make me look like the bad guy instead.
Damn fed up with my GF cibai attitude.

Sifus.....I am really confused now...Is it really my fault ????
Are all girls really like that ?
I thought relationship should have mutual respect for each other !!!!!
*
Why are you even wasting your time? Walk away.

xPrototype
post Oct 24 2021, 01:16 PM

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The sex life very gooding? Or else I dont know what does she contribute in the relationship to make you continue until 7th year, bought a house together and planning to get married somemore smile.gif
Mspot
post Oct 25 2021, 12:07 PM

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Looks like her temper is deep rooted in her. Even if she changes, it will still surface from time to time. Can you accept that?

You seemed afraid to be seen as the 'bad guy'. Why? You should defend yourself even if it means arguing with her in front of other people. I would assume over the 7 years, people surrounding you would have known that you give in to her most of the time. So if you stand your ground at this stage, I don't think people will blame you. At the same time, so what if people did? You want to suffer like this for the rest of your life? YOLO.

All your description of her in the thread is negative. You don't see anything positive in her? Then move on.
Pakatan SinMa Plus
post Oct 28 2021, 02:43 PM

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Belum ada anak sudah ada anger management issue, lepas ada anak mungkin lagi teruk (higher stress when taking care of toddlers) sweat.gif
LordPennDragon
post Oct 29 2021, 02:11 AM

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QUOTE(6inchjj @ Oct 16 2021, 08:30 PM)
As the title says , my gf has anger issues.

The first 2 years nothing much , pretty normal...well-mannered.
But the pattern all come during our 3rd year relationship...Damn cibai princess sickness....terrible mood swings.  vmad.gif

Everytime I waited for her to calm down a few days later, then only i confronted her regarding her anger problems..told her that her attitude is hurting me and making me feel miserable...honestly it's hurting the relationship.
But everytime she will just try to avoid the discussion and tried to brush it off macam selamba jer.. "I AM A GIRL MA..YOU GO FIND EVERYWHERE DE GIRL ALSO IS SAME DE LA !"
There was once I got tired of her cibai attitude that i want to break up with her.
At the beginning she still thinks I am playing with her....but when she realized I was serious , she started to cry. And even came to find me.
I straight told her that I kenot tahan her princess sickness and her cibai anger problems...little little things will suddenly meletup like a time bomb.  ranting.gif  ranting.gif

We drifted apart for more that a week  , then she approached me again...and somehow at that particular moment I felt that she really learnt her lesson.
She said she realized her mistake and will change herself to become a new person. So I forgave her and decided to give her a 2nd chance.  doh.gif ( I am hati lembik )  doh.gif

Fast forward ....now we are in our 7th year relationship. Now we already bought a house joint-nam and live together.
Occasionally she will still have anger issues , small small matters will meletup all of sudden like a timebomb.
When I say small matters , I mean really really remeh stuffs...
Example :
1. When come back from work , I didn't pour a cup of water for her.
2. Morning no cook breakfast for her to eat.


Just yesterday , she went back to her mum's home nearby , ask me to bring a baking stuff(Molasses Sugar) from our home for her...bcoz she wanna bake some bread using her mum's oven.
To be honest , I am not familiar with baking stuffs. I actually tried calling her but her phone no battery . So i just Googled how the stuff look like and took the most similar looking one lo...
I thought , no big deal ma..if ingredient wrong then mar substitute with other things lo...or just bake the bread another time lo , sincc her mum's house just nearby anytime also can go la.  rolleyes.gif

Then when i brought it to her....lai liao la.....meletup again...start mumblimg and scolding.
SCOLD ME STUPID SOMEMORE IN FRONT OF HER MOTHER !  ranting.gif
" 蠢到死 "

I dulan just diam diam don't want bird her....since she in her mum's home....Me scolding her back sure will make me look like the bad guy instead.
Damn fed up with my GF cibai attitude.

Sifus.....I am really confused now...Is it really my fault ????
Are all girls really like that ?
I thought relationship should have mutual respect for each other !!!!!
*
Why now? After year, bought a house together, now baru complain? You should have known the cibainess will explode and can only become worse with time if not addressed properly.

She went crazy on you because you dont pour water ? Make breakfast? mate, you ok or not? Obviously there is an underlying issue that made her cibai on you. Is it her or is it you? or is it both?

Hormonal? physical stuff? Emotional? Mental? A tactic to make you leave? you a real cibai, so she cibai you back? boredom? Sakit hati with you?

Check it out, if you truly want to stay, must know the root cause. If you want to chow cincau dy, pack your stuff and go la. thumbsup.gif
thesoothsayer
post Oct 31 2021, 01:26 AM

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Get out, dude. Easier now than after marriage.

Had a similar relationship for a while. Not sure how you lasted so long.

The part where she says other girls are the same sounds familiar. I remember this ex of mine telling me other girls were worse. Of course, I knew they weren't. Also the part where we do what we think are nice things for them, and they think it's an obligation for us to serve them rather than feel grateful.

I'm sure you'll be happier without her.
moonhowler
post Oct 31 2021, 09:24 AM

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QUOTE(6inchjj @ Oct 16 2021, 08:30 PM)
As the title says , my gf has anger issues.

The first 2 years nothing much , pretty normal...well-mannered.
But the pattern all come during our 3rd year relationship...Damn cibai princess sickness....terrible mood swings.  vmad.gif

Everytime I waited for her to calm down a few days later, then only i confronted her regarding her anger problems..told her that her attitude is hurting me and making me feel miserable...honestly it's hurting the relationship.
But everytime she will just try to avoid the discussion and tried to brush it off macam selamba jer.. "I AM A GIRL MA..YOU GO FIND EVERYWHERE DE GIRL ALSO IS SAME DE LA !"
There was once I got tired of her cibai attitude that i want to break up with her.
At the beginning she still thinks I am playing with her....but when she realized I was serious , she started to cry. And even came to find me.
I straight told her that I kenot tahan her princess sickness and her cibai anger problems...little little things will suddenly meletup like a time bomb.  ranting.gif  ranting.gif

We drifted apart for more that a week  , then she approached me again...and somehow at that particular moment I felt that she really learnt her lesson.
She said she realized her mistake and will change herself to become a new person. So I forgave her and decided to give her a 2nd chance.  doh.gif ( I am hati lembik )  doh.gif

Fast forward ....now we are in our 7th year relationship. Now we already bought a house joint-nam and live together.
Occasionally she will still have anger issues , small small matters will meletup all of sudden like a timebomb.
When I say small matters , I mean really really remeh stuffs...
Example :
1. When come back from work , I didn't pour a cup of water for her.
2. Morning no cook breakfast for her to eat.


Just yesterday , she went back to her mum's home nearby , ask me to bring a baking stuff(Molasses Sugar) from our home for her...bcoz she wanna bake some bread using her mum's oven.
To be honest , I am not familiar with baking stuffs. I actually tried calling her but her phone no battery . So i just Googled how the stuff look like and took the most similar looking one lo...
I thought , no big deal ma..if ingredient wrong then mar substitute with other things lo...or just bake the bread another time lo , sincc her mum's house just nearby anytime also can go la.  rolleyes.gif

Then when i brought it to her....lai liao la.....meletup again...start mumblimg and scolding.
SCOLD ME STUPID SOMEMORE IN FRONT OF HER MOTHER !  ranting.gif
" 蠢到死 "

I dulan just diam diam don't want bird her....since she in her mum's home....Me scolding her back sure will make me look like the bad guy instead.
Damn fed up with my GF cibai attitude.

Sifus.....I am really confused now...Is it really my fault ????
Are all girls really like that ?
I thought relationship should have mutual respect for each other !!!!!
*
Your last questions
Not your fault
Not all girl like that
I had a gf like u for 6 years and understand what u feel.
Broke up, the relieved and best decision in my life.

Im almost a year with my current gf, and she is nothing like my ex...

Zidanefish
post Oct 31 2021, 09:42 PM

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I see something I pantang - why buy house together before getting married? That's a big no no. Even married already also shouldn't.
synex
post Nov 25 2021, 12:10 AM

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QUOTE(6inchjj @ Oct 17 2021, 03:24 PM)
Before this, we had several discussions together regarding her anger problem.
Most of the time, she would just try to avoid it like a child.
But sometimes, she will sit down quietly listen.
After that she will be ok for a period of time.

Then after some time, everything will reset and her temper will come back.

I always tend to choose the peaceful way, to the point that I feel like I am lecturing my daughter instead of a GF.

Some of you might say I am spineless, coward.... I won't deny that.. It is just not my nature to yell back at people.
(Perhaps that's the reason why my GF always take me for granted)

We gone a long way... And had our fair share of arguments... Now we finally owned a home together and planning to get married.
At this point, I really want to maintain our relationship because to get to this point in life takes a damn lot of efforts and sacrifices...

But seems like I am hurting myself inside while my GF just treat everything like normal... Not knowing how she has hurt me.

Damn man... Last night I an beginning to have some suicidal thoughts d...

This thought keeps lingering in my mind :
"I always tried to be kind to everybody... What did I do to deserve this? "
*
Bro...i respect you because you are trying all your best to settle all the problems in a good manner.
Do you ever try to understand what's the underlying problem with your gf? Try to talk to her again and this time shall let her know that her attitude
and anger management is poor. And also do let her know how you feel about her when all these things happened without any proper explanation. Direct inform her that
you barely longer withstands her attitude and might leave her if these continues. Is her behavior inherit from the family? Should try to figure out what is the root cause of all this.
I believe talk and discuss to each other is the only option for you to decide whether to stay or go from this relationship. Trust me, you should lead the way cause not all ladies will understand what you have had done for them if you insist to keep silent and pampered them as if they are out of logic. Good Luck bro.
Chaud
post Nov 25 2021, 10:41 AM

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QUOTE(6inchjj @ Oct 16 2021, 08:30 PM)

Are all girls really like that ?
I thought relationship should have mutual respect for each other !!!!!
*
no.. if all girls like that i believe many men sure got mental health issue d
OlgaC4
post Nov 25 2021, 12:36 PM

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Step away. It will get worse after marry. Stay on if you can take it and except her weakness.

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