Of course disgusting too. Thus, parents don't expect or build their childs as ATM machines. And child after grown up, don't expect to get free money from parents too.

If the childs want to give money to parent, or parents want to continue giving money to their childs after childs have grown up, that is perfectly fine.

this is no difference telling parents you owe it to me to raise me up,
(but i dont owe u on the other hand) by saying i did not ask to be born....

bottom line is if you can afford, you have enough , why not give it, dont wait for parents to ask.
Dont you give to charity organisations ? What is the difference now?

and again as i said unless you think your parents have more than enough
or you dont have enough yourself
or you think that money is better spent elsewhere.


perhaps you guys have not seen poor parents being left poor in silent sufferings
and the children have the same new thinking like you guys,
you live poor is your mistake,... i have own own family to care now... etc



This would not have been needed if everyone thinks parents are their financial responsibility too, not just your own children ,
especially if they have so much to invest here and there ,yet they dont find the need to give parents
Worse you see them regular in giving to charities etc...

Those who oppose , dont give i supposed,
naturally must justify for what they do.

Those who give regularly would tell a different story
as you can read inside here, the minority.

When you give to parents, the help flows down the family tree,
others may benefit from it too even though
your parents may not really need. there is only good things that can come
i dont see any negatives from children's genorosity towards parents in terms of money

society would have more issues with the elderly if everyone subscribe to the diction
No, we dont need to give monthly allowance to our parents......

I hope they don't plan to have children or karma is a bitch. Their children didn't asked to be brought into the world. After spending years taking care and spending huge sums for education and providing for everything and getting told - you're in your own. Nice

The parents saying that they wouldn't mind not being taken care off if the grand children are not expected to take care of the grand children's parent is probably a curse to the unappreciative

This kind of thing hard to really say

People also said house prices will come down, the bubble will burst

And now developers are going to increase price again

But for me not so much on the capital, just to have peace of mind without the need to worry about paying rent, I buy and pay my loan up

So after retirement, no need to think of one big chunk of expenses

Lots of SJWs here that assumes that:
IF one thinks that "our children doesn't owe us" means "we do not take care of our parents"

Oh well, shows the level of comprehension
&
(If NOT 1, MUST BE 0) fallacy is infectious.

Whatever it is, having children adds a heavier load to achieve FI/RE. It's one's choice

This post has been edited by wongmunkeong: Jul 27 2022, 08:03 PM

Parent choose to raise a child = parent owe it to them?

It's like telling the police when you bang someone's car, you owe the car owner due to damage. Wah.. gaslighting to the core.

End of the day, if you did not bang, you are not an offender. So how could the car owner perceived it as "I don't owe you either"?

Instead of "owe", why don't emphasize on self responsibility?

Neither do I object nor restrict nor disagree. For those who gave, may good deed always be with you and your next generation to come.

However, to judge someone stinge just because of no monetary support is uncalled for. You don't know behind-the-scene.

Perhaps, they never missed parents' call, weekly catchup, medical appointment, favorite food, new year reunion.

IMO,

As a child, I want to repay my parent (appropriately) for taking care of me.
As a parent, I want to prepare myself financially to avoid burdening my kids.

As a child towards my parent, I want her to not scold me for not giving enough money.
As a parent towards child, I want to raise them in such a way they will happily and willingly take care and/or spend time with me.

(Me as parent is hypothetical, but I aspire to be above if I would become one)

Reality is,
My mother raised us as a single mother since I was still in primary school. We weren't the easiest kids as I went to counselor before, and one of my siblings did not complete SPM. She depleted her EPF to raise us.

She married the wrong man, but still went through with it and never abandoned us. She occasionally talks about the hell she'd been through, and then ending her story with hints of wanting more in return... It sounds like gaslighting but hey, would I be able to do what she did if I was in her shoes? Maybe not. I'm thankful she didn't run and leave us to fend for ourselves, but we have our reasons for not giving too much allowance to her hands... To put it simply, she doesn't know that the world is full of disgusting people who would manipulate you in so many ways to get easy cash from you, and hell, they don't even care if you end up dying because of them.

Would you judge my mom for asking money from us?
Would you judge us for not giving enough money to our mom?

Theories are great, it gives you direction, but don't be quick to judge...

didnt read all. not sure why suddenly turn to kids giving money to parents.

but my take is this, I'm doing it now without asking as i know my family background. and still, i will enforce it with my kids next time. its not about the money, its about the commitment and responsibility. I have seen enough of people spending money lavishly while their parents save like a beggar, I've seen the mindset of people on money when there is no commitment. i don't want that.

granted, i will take their money, and put it in an account and give it back to them when i passes on. or when they need it in future, without telling them. I don't care if it's rm100/rm200/rm300, whatever, i want that responsibility and commitment instilled.

kthxbai.

Just a point to ponder:

- Take 25 years horizon
- Assuming long-term average mortgage rate of 4%; net yield of 4%; capital appreciation of 3%
- Taking 85% loan

The above gives you 10% IRR over 25-year period

It definitely make sense to rent now, since you can pay 2% net yield for a brand new property. But cycles come and go, that 2% net yield doesn't last forever, there will be a point when it makes sense to own than rent.

I gave the alpha 6 months ago when MYR was worth 6% more.

[quote=cempedaklife,Jul 28 2022, 09:41 AM]
didnt read all. not sure why suddenly turn to kids giving money to parents.

I have seen enough of people spending money lavishly while their parents save like a beggar, I've seen the mindset of people on money when there is no commitment. i don't want that.

Have you seen something in the opposite? Kid save like a beggar and do Fire while parent spending money on random sales from FB live all the time. That's what I am facing right now. They are still working in early 50s and doing quite ok financially. But they have this addiction of buying stuff they don't need, almost every week. I didn't give much to them because i know it's far better to invest it for future use rather wasting it to random salesperson on FB.

Sometimes I feel like in a dilemma. Not giving feel bad, giving also feel bad. But I do tapao food all the time ya. that's my only contribution. Am I a charsiew?

[quote=bogletails,Jul 28 2022, 10:29 PM]
[quote=cempedaklife,Jul 28 2022, 09:41 AM]
didnt read all. not sure why suddenly turn to kids giving money to parents.

I have seen enough of people spending money lavishly while their parents save like a beggar, I've seen the mindset of people on money when there is no commitment. i don't want that.

Have you seen something in the opposite? Kid save like a beggar and do Fire while parent spending money on random sales from FB live all the time. That's what I am facing right now. They are still working in early 50s and doing quite ok financially. But they have this addiction of buying stuff they don't need, almost every week. I didn't give much to them because i know it's far better to invest it for future use rather wasting it to random salesperson on FB.

Sometimes I feel like in a dilemma. Not giving feel bad, giving also feel bad. But I do tapao food all the time ya. that's my only contribution. Am I a charsiew?

[/quote]

Sorry for the bad formating. I was reply to post above. Not sure the quote failed.

I agree with your view too. But im expressing from my own perspective and own situation, where i am in control of the parents part since im the parent , which im confident in myself and my life partner and hence i dont have the same situation as you.

This post has been edited by cempedaklife: Jul 29 2022, 12:58 AM

If parents don’t need money, perhaps can plan for them an annual holiday…

Certain negative connotation is best left unsaid,

as parents why go tell kids you dont owe parents anything.

and further support they say i dont ask to be born.

say something positive la,
yes you should give to your parents who sacrifice so much to raise you.

2 negatives wont make a positive here, i wont ask from you, as i dont give grandpama also.



you are using the extremes in your case your mother "dont know how to use your valuable money".
buy hey if that is what she enjoys let her also lah considering the sacrifices she went through last time.

yes that is still money.

Can this topic get back on track about FIRE instead of this give/no give money to parents, please

If children grown up and each gives substantial amount of money... Parents can fire earlier instead of having to continue to work and save for retirement

Sort of like a plan for planning a passive income to fire.

If Setting up a business for that purposes,
If business can gives passive income... Passed
If business does not gives passive income.. Failed.

If get into investment for that purposes,
If investment can gives passive income.. Passed
If investment cannot gives passive income... Failed

If getting children for that purposes (or part of the purpose in marriage)
If children can gives passive income... Passed
If children cannot gives passive income... Failed

Ha-ha😁🙏

But the children themselves would take longer to fire themselves so it is a catch 22 situation. I give a lot to parents me myself need longer timespan to fire isn't it? So some would think parents don't pester them better or if die faster lagi best got inheritance take. Drama serials always show such story line

Currently I see the younger generation will always be able to make more money than the older generation...
More opportunity in education, more working and higher income opportunity, more knowledge and choices in saving & investment and others..
More areas to spend too.

This post has been edited by yklooi: Jul 30 2022, 03:17 PM