Welcome Guest ( Log In | Register )

Outline · [ Standard ] · Linear+

 /not-tonite-no-sex-either-way

views
     
SUSDrifter
post Sep 13 2007, 07:55 AM, updated 19y ago

Regular
******
Senior Member
1,349 posts

Joined: Jan 2005


I got this from my mate this morning and found it to be amusing and quite true. Well, hope it can drag to for the rest of the week, cheers mate..

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.


Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT?"

I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.

cbsim
post Sep 13 2007, 08:03 AM

Getting Started
**
Junior Member
72 posts

Joined: Jan 2003
A good one biggrin.gif
MX510
post Sep 13 2007, 08:07 AM

Love Me Sin Hate Me Sinner
*******
Senior Member
4,038 posts

Joined: Aug 2005
From: Earth



Very good one
ben83
post Sep 13 2007, 08:19 AM

IT & GADGETS ELITE SPECIALIST
******
Senior Member
1,602 posts

Joined: May 2006
This one is pretty oldnews.com
low_nirc7
post Sep 13 2007, 08:22 AM

Getting Started
**
Junior Member
119 posts

Joined: Nov 2004


haha..u r the man. and hi-maintenance for dat lady.for her, try to find out a millionaire man who dunn look for sex smile.gif.
SUSDrifter
post Sep 13 2007, 08:29 AM

Regular
******
Senior Member
1,349 posts

Joined: Jan 2005


still funny, rt
YLT
post Sep 13 2007, 08:37 AM

Casual
***
Junior Member
424 posts

Joined: Jan 2003


wish i could do that, nice 1 dude and old new doesn't mean everyone had read it before. thumbup.gif
vamsufer
post Sep 13 2007, 09:46 AM

Getting Started
**
Junior Member
86 posts

Joined: Jan 2007
From: here..


brave dude...no xx for lonnnnnnnnnnnnnng time
jones007
post Sep 13 2007, 10:11 AM

Internets Super Heroes LOLWUT
*******
Senior Member
8,878 posts

Joined: Jun 2005
From: Heaven: To: Hell: Status: Me > You


good shit. very good shit
ghost181
post Sep 13 2007, 11:42 AM

Getting Started
**
Junior Member
216 posts

Joined: Feb 2006
From: 神秘的な地獄


bravo ~~ bravo ~~ rclxms.gif rclxms.gif
diablo69
post Sep 13 2007, 11:44 AM

Cruel Intention
*****
Senior Member
983 posts

Joined: Jan 2003
From: Rawang - Sepang - Pasir Gudang



good one doh.gif doh.gif
SUSb3ta
post Sep 13 2007, 11:57 AM

responsible poster stormtrooper
****
Senior Member
685 posts

Joined: Apr 2007
From: malaysia


man of the year award
ALIAS.JG
post Sep 13 2007, 12:08 PM

Regular
******
Senior Member
1,940 posts

Joined: Feb 2005


Old repost is good repost biggrin.gif laugh.gif
Baronic
post Sep 13 2007, 12:44 PM

Problem?
Group Icon
Staff
7,533 posts

Joined: Sep 2005
From: Lowyat.net Malaysia Sex: Yes please


hahahahahah god damn, its funny, yet, oh so true!
R a D ! c 4 L
post Sep 13 2007, 12:52 PM

Linc | Nox
Group Icon
Elite
4,744 posts

Joined: Jan 2003
From: Kuala Lumpur


uber 1337!
sykz
post Sep 13 2007, 07:52 PM

Casual
***
Junior Member
339 posts

Joined: May 2005


A very good one. Haha

Will use that in future.
z3r0717
post Sep 13 2007, 08:07 PM

Gundam needs to pee too
*******
Senior Member
2,239 posts

Joined: Jun 2006
From: K.L


wow... respect the dude.. hahahahah... thumbup.gif
Zephyr_Mage
post Sep 13 2007, 08:43 PM

Look at all my stars!!
*******
Validating
5,444 posts

Joined: Jan 2003
Guys, it's just a short-term victory. He won the battle, but he's gonna lose the war. biggrin.gif

This post has been edited by Zephyr_Mage: Sep 13 2007, 08:43 PM
Polar_012
post Sep 13 2007, 08:44 PM

Getting Started
**
Junior Member
288 posts

Joined: Jun 2007
QUOTE(Zephyr_Mage @ Sep 13 2007, 08:43 PM)
Guys, it's just a short-term victory. He won the battle, but he's gonna lose the war. biggrin.gif
*
Theres many fishes in the ocean...
Daywalker
post Sep 13 2007, 10:41 PM

What the hell?? This will gonna shit happen.......??
******
Senior Member
1,988 posts

Joined: Jan 2006
From: 在某个角落......


Since she never give to him what he want sweat.gif some more bullshit or excuse a lot....... doh.gif better call "prostitute" for the 1 night & 1 shot then satisfy....... laugh.gif
popopi
post Sep 14 2007, 12:58 PM

Regular
******
Senior Member
1,197 posts

Joined: Apr 2007


Haha, speechless.....
polarzbearz
post Sep 16 2007, 11:52 PM

Gracie
*******
Senior Member
4,816 posts

Joined: Apr 2007


Quite funny, lol.
Avex
post Sep 17 2007, 12:04 AM

On my way
****
Junior Member
570 posts

Joined: Jan 2003
From: /k/ isle

I like it. Can use later
kobe8byrant
post Sep 17 2007, 10:52 PM

I'm too old for this stuff
********
All Stars
12,275 posts

Joined: Dec 2005
From: KL


MUST PRACTISE tongue.gif

 

Change to:
| Lo-Fi Version
0.0209sec    0.40    5 queries    GZIP Disabled
Time is now: 8th December 2025 - 02:42 AM