I'm not sure where to start this but to be honest it's starting to piss me off so much to an extent I feel mentally exhausted.

Back in 2017 I quit my KL job and went back to East Malaysia/Brunei because my parents wanted me to. My parents said to come back to them because they were dealing with some family issues, so wanted me to be near them to help them. So, okay, I quit my KL job at that time, which was a no brainer since it was a contract job. Give 1mth notice and can chow already. But it was my mistake.

When I went back to my parents in EM/Bru, turns out the "family problem" they had was money problems. They have borrowed huge sums of money from various people and have been very slow in paying back these debts. They wanted me to come back so I can find work in EM/Bru and use my money to pay back these debts. They took most, if not all of my savings to pay the money back. They didn't. They wasted it on useless shit they didn't need. I was obv pissed.

I later on found another job in EM that didn't pay very well, less than RM2000. But it pays the bill anyway... To my disappointment, it folded on its own within 1yr of me joining. I found another job that paid slightly better but still not very high (around rm2000+). Folded after 7-8mths.

I still have some savings in my account, which my parents have been wanting to get their hands on. I have changed pin number and my bank account passwords hoping they will never get access to my money.

In short, I am not in the very best relationship with my parents and it has been screwing me up mentally. How do you live like this? My parents have never worked an honest day in their life. They borrowed money from people I don't even know or recall ever seeing. Any thing they have ever talked about is money problems and MORE money problems.

At one point they even went to church and start spreading shit about me, like how I wasn't a good child, never respecting their wishes, etc. The church pastors and deacons stepped in to intervene only to find out about my parents' foggy story. So the pastors stopped and said they will not do as my parents wished.

Now they are pissed and have been mentally fucking me up. Ngl, I've been sleeping at 6am and waking up at 3pm just so I don't need to see my parents' face. They know I am working freelance jobs so I'm still getting some kind of income from there, but not much. Even that bit of money they have been vulturous about it, trying to lay their hands on it.

For many years since 2017 I've been wanting to get out and go far away from my vulturous parents. Are there any solutions to this? Because the more I stay with them, the more I can feel my insanity slipping away. I just want a fucking peace of mind w/o having to see my damned parents and their shitty vulturous ways. I am definitely disappointed in my parents and their shit behaviours, but I am not surprised they are the way they are.

Are there any ways I can fly over to WM/Selangor to find jobs? So I don't have to see my damn parents' faces and deal with their vulturous ways anymore? The longer I stay here I can see and feel my insanity slipping away. Family values be damned I cannot help people who are constantly lying and playing victim.

Careful debt might be inherited to u.

it looks like you have already found your way out.

leave there and come back to KL, lots of company hiring now, nowadays interview can done by online tho, you can look for a job first, then ask your company issue letter etc for you to fly to kl. then get a room nearby to your working place/lrt.

not a good environment if there is always something bothering you. you won't do well in life if stay there.

life basically only have 3 choices : leave , change or accept. if you can't accept or change yourself/them, then just leave.

I think this is something I will have to live with for the rest of my life. My parents kept saying they WILL pay back the debt. But judging from the way they handle money, there's a fat chance they will never pay a single penny of it back.

I've been in a handful of interviews so far. Last week I had 1 with a KL company but they said no in the end... Mostly due to the whole MITI and papwerworks thing, yknow. Most gigs I have now are freelance works, so money isn't exactly the biggest problem - for now.

If I were to head back to KL/Selangor, do I still need to be quarantined 2 weeks?

i think have to quarantine, as i know going in sabah and sarawak required quarantine, east to west im not exactly sure.

best is check with your nearest police station, u can ask them what exactly the documents needed too.

packed ur things cabut terus ..

I don't mind applying for the travel permits, swab tests, etc. However, will it be better if after I have applied for the necessary documents, I'd just fly over to WM instead? Because my only dilemma now is that when companies hire, a lot are still unsure whether if they should hire someone from EM when they can find someone from WM. They don't want to pay for the paperwork.

of course better if come WM, check with pdrm, get valid permit/documents

based on your situation, leave asap

if you Bruneian really need work visa but if Swakian no need...

They're still your parents anyway, you need to find peace with yourself eventually. Too much negativity is eating you from inside.

If you can move out & live on your own, do it. Then, if you can afford it, send some money back to your parents & let them do whatever they want with it. That's the least you could do as a child.

What's the prospect of growing your freelance work? It sounds good enough to sustain you, so there might be opportunity to grow it further. If you can grow your freelance work further, then you can be more independent & live wherever you want. There are some popular freelancer platforms for Malaysian I think, internationally there's Fiverr.

TLDR: The idea is to be able to sustain yourself so that you can move out & live on your own. I understand it may be a chicken & egg situation, but gotta start from somewhere. When you've mentally recovered & doing a bit better financially, send a bit of money to your parents every month. Even RM50 will do if you can afford it.

I'm Malaysian so work permit is not a problem

Why should I send money to my parents when all they do is to use it to gamble and waste it on things they do not need? I won't be an enabler of someone else's bad habits.

It's supposed to make you less angry. But if it doesn't, then just move on to the independent part.

I don't know how or where you get the idea that was angry at what you said. Perhaps read better so you can understand better.
Thanks for the advise anyway.

You're not feeling angry, frustrated, upset, disappointed etc at your parents?

Used to... Okay perhaps my response came across as passive aggressive, and I am sorry if it comes across that way. But there's certainly negative sentiments towards the way my parents are. Also, the point still stands. You don't give money to gamblers or people who waste it on things they don't need. That's why I mentioned why should I give money to my parents, which you have explicitly said in your previous reply. Don't enable vices that will destroy people.

I am still looking into ways if I can travel over to WM w/o having to apply for all that paper works.

This post has been edited by Redshelf411: Jun 20 2021, 07:44 PM

Ahh ok, you sounded pretty upset from your first post

You can still move out & live within the same town if you can sustain yourself from your freelance works. If your freelancing work is generating enough income, just move & be independent. Work on growing it & all this troubles will be a minor thing in your past.

paper works?the company tht hired u should apply eh..just cabut ASAP..maksud change ur IC Address when u changed new one.