QUOTE(Sasuke95 @ May 15 2021, 09:08 PM)
With so much free time on hand, i accidentally discovered a lot of content that answers a lot of my questions about why i keep failing, i usually dont simply believe anything i see on the internet, but when all of my experiences exactly matches what the content says, it's not up to me to not believe it. It is real, the world is really working backwards.
I will first start off with "DONTS", these are some iron rules to follow to save yourself from misery:
1. Do not chase girls. 100% of my chase ended in failure, when you chase, you already lost the battle, because she already got you in the bag, there's no more challenges, no more mystery, most of the time you will be on the giving side, and she wont bother to do much for you because she dont have to. Instead, let them come to you, let them confess their feelings to you, 100% of my gf gotten in this way.
2. Do not beg / fear losing the girl. 100% of my begs didnt work, when things go wrong, i instinctively wants to fix things and try to reverse the damage, it never works. This action will actually push her further away, end up losing more of your self respect, she will feel even more disgusted about you, and so on. The correct action should be just let her go, as counter-intuitive as it may sound, it actually works. I pulled this off without me knowing what effect it might have, the girl actually came back to my after giving it some time (few weeks, less than 1 month). By letting go, you disrupt her thinking pattern of expecting you to beg but didnt, your did something out of ordinary, your self respect is restored.
3. Do not agree to her unacceptable behavior. When she started to lose interest, she will pull off something like canceling date last minute just because she wants to cancel, there's no valid reason behind it. My old self would say that it's ok and let's schedule another time then. This in fact is very wrong and shows you have no backbone/bottomline and she will think she can get away with this kind of shit everytime, you have no more self respect. Instead of trying to avoid confrontation to not ruin the chances, face it. Tell her this is not okay and you're walking away. If this ends here, you dodged a bullet of having a miserable girl, if she comes back, you win, it's a win-win situation.
4. Do not show weakness. 100% of the time when i showed weakness end up she left me. I remember i failed a test in my uni and i cried like a dog in front of her, because i am perceived as god in studies and yet i failed, i couldnt accept the fact. Then another time the girl asked me "why i always seemingly doesnt care who does she hanging out with", then i started to care and her interest dropped like a rock. Do not do what she says. What piqued her interest in the first place was me not caring about her, once she got you to care about it, you loses and she'll leave. If you think you can use girls as emotional support, as counter-intuitive as it may sound (because girls are meant to support us in terms of mental wellbeing too), think twice before you let it happen.
5. Do not push the question. Learn to read between the lines, when you send a few lines of messages, one of the lines asking to schedule a date, but she replied you for all the lines except the "date" part, take it as a hint she's not interested to date you. You'll always encounter this situation whereby some of the lines you sent she didnt exactly answers that, and leave you guessing/in suspension. If you need to guess, it is over. If she's interested, there's hardly any guessing room, it will be very obvious she's into you, you can feel it, no doubt.
6. Do not expect her to stay. As counter-intuitive as it may sound, they're constantly screening for better men out there, she'll leave when one day she sealed a better deal and never look back. Ever wondered why when they leave, they're very adamant in their decision? Because they already sealed the deal with the other guy, just like how you already got a job offered in new company and feel very confident to leave your current job, same concept. How? They're constantly posting photos of their bodies / curves, that serves as a bait to fish for better men, you dont think they post for fun do you? It is their nature to do so, even if they themselves are not aware of it. This is a game you can never win, you cant expect to defeat every man, eventually someone will defeat you in terms of offers/prospects and she'll leave you for that. Just enjoy your time together while it lasts, and dont expect much.
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We men nowadays are very pathetic, the "simping" phenomenon is very rampant now. Look at the hot models in social media (FB, insta), when you look at the comments, there's tons of thirsty male dogs throwing compliments at her, but never a sec they think whether they achieve anything by doing so. You dont see the model reply to them do you? Let alone the chance of them dating. Whereas the models feed off all these compliments/attentions and became very powerful, some even desperate enough to throw money at them (OnlyFans anyone?) while still not getting a piece of the real action, all they can do is watch from the screen, nothing more. The girls ego grows, started to feel more entitled to this world. This is what causing them to impose such unbelievably high standards on us men, demanding this and that, or else stand no chance of dating. Imagine us men taking away all of the money and attention, when no one look their way, these girls became nothing, crumbles into dust, and they will be the one starting to chase for us men, but sadly this is not a reality yet.
I dont know when majority of the men will start to realize this, maybe not in my lifetime, but i have a feeling eventually this will happen when the imbalance became too great and then more and more men realize this dreadful Simping phenomenon. The Simping bubble will one day burst. I myself still follows the models because we men are visual creatures, we like seeing these things, but i wont ever comment on their pics, nor throwing money to them, i only look at the pics, have my fill for the day, and move on to grinding money. It is not wrong to appreciate the beauty, but it may not be right to simp beyond recognition.
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One last thing is, i decided to not marry. Knowing the deep shit stated above, coupled with high divorce rate, there's no more meaning to this.
Ask yourself objectively, what can you get out of it? What do the girl bring to the table? Think very carefully, but to me, sex is the only thing they can bring.
When divorced, all of your hard earned assets will be split, also need to pay alimony and child support.
We men stand to lose the most in a marriage and only gained sex, and the sex is gradually getting lesser and lesser if the wife withhold it due to losing interest in you. You end up with nothing, lots of men already kena screwed this way already, looking at the comment section of the content that i read is absolutely heartbreaking, i'm glad i didnt marry yet.
End sharing session, take it or leave it, your choice. GG.
Had a read at this, it's really good knowledge. Some of this, I learnt it the hard way and thought back about it, realised how much of a fool I was for making such decisions.I will first start off with "DONTS", these are some iron rules to follow to save yourself from misery:
1. Do not chase girls. 100% of my chase ended in failure, when you chase, you already lost the battle, because she already got you in the bag, there's no more challenges, no more mystery, most of the time you will be on the giving side, and she wont bother to do much for you because she dont have to. Instead, let them come to you, let them confess their feelings to you, 100% of my gf gotten in this way.
2. Do not beg / fear losing the girl. 100% of my begs didnt work, when things go wrong, i instinctively wants to fix things and try to reverse the damage, it never works. This action will actually push her further away, end up losing more of your self respect, she will feel even more disgusted about you, and so on. The correct action should be just let her go, as counter-intuitive as it may sound, it actually works. I pulled this off without me knowing what effect it might have, the girl actually came back to my after giving it some time (few weeks, less than 1 month). By letting go, you disrupt her thinking pattern of expecting you to beg but didnt, your did something out of ordinary, your self respect is restored.
3. Do not agree to her unacceptable behavior. When she started to lose interest, she will pull off something like canceling date last minute just because she wants to cancel, there's no valid reason behind it. My old self would say that it's ok and let's schedule another time then. This in fact is very wrong and shows you have no backbone/bottomline and she will think she can get away with this kind of shit everytime, you have no more self respect. Instead of trying to avoid confrontation to not ruin the chances, face it. Tell her this is not okay and you're walking away. If this ends here, you dodged a bullet of having a miserable girl, if she comes back, you win, it's a win-win situation.
4. Do not show weakness. 100% of the time when i showed weakness end up she left me. I remember i failed a test in my uni and i cried like a dog in front of her, because i am perceived as god in studies and yet i failed, i couldnt accept the fact. Then another time the girl asked me "why i always seemingly doesnt care who does she hanging out with", then i started to care and her interest dropped like a rock. Do not do what she says. What piqued her interest in the first place was me not caring about her, once she got you to care about it, you loses and she'll leave. If you think you can use girls as emotional support, as counter-intuitive as it may sound (because girls are meant to support us in terms of mental wellbeing too), think twice before you let it happen.
5. Do not push the question. Learn to read between the lines, when you send a few lines of messages, one of the lines asking to schedule a date, but she replied you for all the lines except the "date" part, take it as a hint she's not interested to date you. You'll always encounter this situation whereby some of the lines you sent she didnt exactly answers that, and leave you guessing/in suspension. If you need to guess, it is over. If she's interested, there's hardly any guessing room, it will be very obvious she's into you, you can feel it, no doubt.
6. Do not expect her to stay. As counter-intuitive as it may sound, they're constantly screening for better men out there, she'll leave when one day she sealed a better deal and never look back. Ever wondered why when they leave, they're very adamant in their decision? Because they already sealed the deal with the other guy, just like how you already got a job offered in new company and feel very confident to leave your current job, same concept. How? They're constantly posting photos of their bodies / curves, that serves as a bait to fish for better men, you dont think they post for fun do you? It is their nature to do so, even if they themselves are not aware of it. This is a game you can never win, you cant expect to defeat every man, eventually someone will defeat you in terms of offers/prospects and she'll leave you for that. Just enjoy your time together while it lasts, and dont expect much.
------------------------
We men nowadays are very pathetic, the "simping" phenomenon is very rampant now. Look at the hot models in social media (FB, insta), when you look at the comments, there's tons of thirsty male dogs throwing compliments at her, but never a sec they think whether they achieve anything by doing so. You dont see the model reply to them do you? Let alone the chance of them dating. Whereas the models feed off all these compliments/attentions and became very powerful, some even desperate enough to throw money at them (OnlyFans anyone?) while still not getting a piece of the real action, all they can do is watch from the screen, nothing more. The girls ego grows, started to feel more entitled to this world. This is what causing them to impose such unbelievably high standards on us men, demanding this and that, or else stand no chance of dating. Imagine us men taking away all of the money and attention, when no one look their way, these girls became nothing, crumbles into dust, and they will be the one starting to chase for us men, but sadly this is not a reality yet.
I dont know when majority of the men will start to realize this, maybe not in my lifetime, but i have a feeling eventually this will happen when the imbalance became too great and then more and more men realize this dreadful Simping phenomenon. The Simping bubble will one day burst. I myself still follows the models because we men are visual creatures, we like seeing these things, but i wont ever comment on their pics, nor throwing money to them, i only look at the pics, have my fill for the day, and move on to grinding money. It is not wrong to appreciate the beauty, but it may not be right to simp beyond recognition.
----------------------
One last thing is, i decided to not marry. Knowing the deep shit stated above, coupled with high divorce rate, there's no more meaning to this.
Ask yourself objectively, what can you get out of it? What do the girl bring to the table? Think very carefully, but to me, sex is the only thing they can bring.
When divorced, all of your hard earned assets will be split, also need to pay alimony and child support.
We men stand to lose the most in a marriage and only gained sex, and the sex is gradually getting lesser and lesser if the wife withhold it due to losing interest in you. You end up with nothing, lots of men already kena screwed this way already, looking at the comment section of the content that i read is absolutely heartbreaking, i'm glad i didnt marry yet.
End sharing session, take it or leave it, your choice. GG.
For #1, I would just elaborate a little and add on, chase the fire. By fire, it could be anything that improves yourself. Money, job promotion, buy a house. Anything apart from girls. You progress in this area, you can have stability in your life. And that stability in your life, is what attracts girls.
As for #2, I learnt it the hard way. I had the instinct of solving the problem and many times, apologise for something I didn't do wrong. For e.g. when a girl does not respond to me, I thought I said something wrong. When in actual fact, it is just better off letting go of such girls. They definitely aren't worth the time.
For #3, I ever had an experience where I had to deal with a girl, who told me she didn't consider me to be as boyfriend. But she acted quite clingy, she underwent a harsh break-up with her ex, because her ex cheated on her. I put up with most of her stories, but realised that she was still doing really well academically (this was back in college). She would talk about a sad story and ended up doing exceptionally well. Highly inconsistent and also since she wasn't my gf, I decided to keep quiet from then on.
For #4, Also learnt this the hard way. By showing weakness, the girl will realise that you aren't strong to rely on and will leave. This might not happen in marriage, but I'd reckon that the girl would still lose respect in the guy if he shows weakness regardless of relationship status. I thought the same as you, thinking that girls had higher eq and were better at emotional support, I hear her out, she hear me out. But usually it's more like I hear her out.
This point definitely going to be conflicting if considering marriage. Because marriage is supposedly an emotional and physical bond, so you accept each other weaknesses and listen to each other. If the girl cannot even accept your weakness in the dating/relationship phase, then there's no point going for marriage. And most girls want the end-game or going for the thick-and-thin, where you make it big in life after chasing the fire and accomplishing big feats.
Point 5 is a good reminder, something to take note of. Guessing game isn't good. Some girls do that because they aren't interested in you as you mentioned or it could be their communication style, where they expect you to read what is in their mind. Best is to avoid such girls and move on with life.
Point 6 is probably like going for shopping. Just that the girl would generally have a lot more options, thanks to dating apps. Guys go to shop with limited options, so more likely to zero in on one. Girls can go to many different shops, with numerous options available.
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Simping is very prevalent today. Even in streaming platforms like twitch/youtube, it's evident to see that a lot of guys donate to girls online. There's also hololive now, which attracts the male audience group that is into anime characters. Guys fanboy for 2d character voiced by real life people lol.
I am in the same boat as you, I think it's alright to see but not gonna pay a single cent for it. It's still possible to support these people without having to pay (follow, view their content = they already earning money). Otherwise, it's better to spend the money on food, gym (workout), home stuff (get a new bed, fix air con). I just don't see how I can spend money on someone that is sharing their content largely for free (excluding onlyfans).
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Ask yourself objectively, what can you get out of it? What do the girl bring to the table? Think very carefully, but to me, sex is the only thing they can bring.
When divorced, all of your hard earned assets will be split, also need to pay alimony and child support.
We men stand to lose the most in a marriage and only gained sex, and the sex is gradually getting lesser and lesser if the wife withhold it due to losing interest in you. You end up with nothing, lots of men already kena screwed this way already, looking at the comment section of the content that i read is absolutely heartbreaking, i'm glad i didnt marry yet.
Rational choice not to go for marriage. Nowadays, not only are divorces high but fertility rate is dropping fast. A girl might not necessarily want kids (more and more don't). Once with kid, it's almost tied down already. Happy wife, happy life concept. Again, girl want the end game and if they not happy, assets split and barely see the kid. Sex or physical intimacy tends to decline after having baby. Probably because got to work harder to support the kid and raising kid takes a lot of energy/time, no more mood to have sex. Apart from sex, emotional support/intimacy is something that could be gained, but one needs to understand usually is the girl that wants this emotional heart-to-heart talk, while guy prefer physical. If a guy is despo for emotional support, could always hang out with their close guy friends lol