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Serious The awakening

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lordderrick P
post Oct 17 2021, 03:59 PM

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QUOTE(Sasuke95 @ May 15 2021, 09:08 PM)
With so much free time on hand, i accidentally discovered a lot of content that answers a lot of my questions about why i keep failing, i usually dont simply believe anything i see on the internet, but when all of my experiences exactly matches what the content says, it's not up to me to not believe it. It is real, the world is really working backwards.

I will first start off with "DONTS", these are some iron rules to follow to save yourself from misery:

1. Do not chase girls. 100% of my chase ended in failure, when you chase, you already lost the battle, because she already got you in the bag, there's no more challenges, no more mystery, most of the time you will be on the giving side, and she wont bother to do much for you because she dont have to. Instead, let them come to you, let them confess their feelings to you, 100% of my gf gotten in this way.

2. Do not beg / fear losing the girl. 100% of my begs didnt work, when things go wrong, i instinctively wants to fix things and try to reverse the damage, it never works. This action will actually push her further away, end up losing more of your self respect, she will feel even more disgusted about you, and so on. The correct action should be just let her go, as counter-intuitive as it may sound, it actually works. I pulled this off without me knowing what effect it might have, the girl actually came back to my after giving it some time (few weeks, less than 1 month). By letting go, you disrupt her thinking pattern of expecting you to beg but didnt, your did something out of ordinary, your self respect is restored.

3. Do not agree to her unacceptable behavior. When she started to lose interest, she will pull off something like canceling date last minute just because she wants to cancel, there's no valid reason behind it. My old self would say that it's ok and let's schedule another time then. This in fact is very wrong and shows you have no backbone/bottomline and she will think she can get away with this kind of shit everytime, you have no more self respect. Instead of trying to avoid confrontation to not ruin the chances, face it. Tell her this is not okay and you're walking away. If this ends here, you dodged a bullet of having a miserable girl, if she comes back, you win, it's a win-win situation.

4. Do not show weakness. 100% of the time when i showed weakness end up she left me. I remember i failed a test in my uni and i cried like a dog in front of her, because i am perceived as god in studies and yet i failed, i couldnt accept the fact. Then another time the girl asked me "why i always seemingly doesnt care who does she hanging out with", then i started to care and her interest dropped like a rock. Do not do what she says. What piqued her interest in the first place was me not caring about her, once she got you to care about it, you loses and she'll leave. If you think you can use girls as emotional support, as counter-intuitive as it may sound (because girls are meant to support us in terms of mental wellbeing too), think twice before you let it happen.

5. Do not push the question. Learn to read between the lines, when you send a few lines of messages, one of the lines asking to schedule a date, but she replied you for all the lines except the "date" part, take it as a hint she's not interested to date you. You'll always encounter this situation whereby some of the lines you sent she didnt exactly answers that, and leave you guessing/in suspension. If you need to guess, it is over. If she's interested, there's hardly any guessing room, it will be very obvious she's into you, you can feel it, no doubt.

6. Do not expect her to stay. As counter-intuitive as it may sound, they're constantly screening for better men out there, she'll leave when one day she sealed a better deal and never look back. Ever wondered why when they leave, they're very adamant in their decision? Because they already sealed the deal with the other guy, just like how you already got a job offered in new company and feel very confident to leave your current job, same concept. How? They're constantly posting photos of their bodies / curves, that serves as a bait to fish for better men, you dont think they post for fun do you? It is their nature to do so, even if they themselves are not aware of it. This is a game you can never win, you cant expect to defeat every man, eventually someone will defeat you in terms of offers/prospects and she'll leave you for that. Just enjoy your time together while it lasts, and dont expect much.

------------------------

We men nowadays are very pathetic, the "simping" phenomenon is very rampant now. Look at the hot models in social media (FB, insta), when you look at the comments, there's tons of thirsty male dogs throwing compliments at her, but never a sec they think whether they achieve anything by doing so. You dont see the model reply to them do you? Let alone the chance of them dating. Whereas the models feed off all these compliments/attentions and became very powerful, some even desperate enough to throw money at them (OnlyFans anyone?) while still not getting a piece of the real action, all they can do is watch from the screen, nothing more. The girls ego grows, started to feel more entitled to this world. This is what causing them to impose such unbelievably high standards on us men, demanding this and that, or else stand no chance of dating. Imagine us men taking away all of the money and attention, when no one look their way, these girls became nothing, crumbles into dust, and they will be the one starting to chase for us men, but sadly this is not a reality yet.

I dont know when majority of the men will start to realize this, maybe not in my lifetime, but i have a feeling eventually this will happen when the imbalance became too great and then more and more men realize this dreadful Simping phenomenon. The Simping bubble will one day burst. I myself still follows the models because we men are visual creatures, we like seeing these things, but i wont ever comment on their pics, nor throwing money to them, i only look at the pics, have my fill for the day, and move on to grinding money. It is not wrong to appreciate the beauty, but it may not be right to simp beyond recognition.

----------------------

One last thing is, i decided to not marry. Knowing the deep shit stated above, coupled with high divorce rate, there's no more meaning to this.
Ask yourself objectively, what can you get out of it? What do the girl bring to the table? Think very carefully, but to me, sex is the only thing they can bring.
When divorced, all of your hard earned assets will be split, also need to pay alimony and child support.
We men stand to lose the most in a marriage and only gained sex, and the sex is gradually getting lesser and lesser if the wife withhold it due to losing interest in you. You end up with nothing, lots of men already kena screwed this way already, looking at the comment section of the content that i read is absolutely heartbreaking, i'm glad i didnt marry yet.

End sharing session, take it or leave it, your choice. GG.
*
Had a read at this, it's really good knowledge. Some of this, I learnt it the hard way and thought back about it, realised how much of a fool I was for making such decisions.

For #1, I would just elaborate a little and add on, chase the fire. By fire, it could be anything that improves yourself. Money, job promotion, buy a house. Anything apart from girls. You progress in this area, you can have stability in your life. And that stability in your life, is what attracts girls.

As for #2, I learnt it the hard way. I had the instinct of solving the problem and many times, apologise for something I didn't do wrong. For e.g. when a girl does not respond to me, I thought I said something wrong. When in actual fact, it is just better off letting go of such girls. They definitely aren't worth the time.

For #3, I ever had an experience where I had to deal with a girl, who told me she didn't consider me to be as boyfriend. But she acted quite clingy, she underwent a harsh break-up with her ex, because her ex cheated on her. I put up with most of her stories, but realised that she was still doing really well academically (this was back in college). She would talk about a sad story and ended up doing exceptionally well. Highly inconsistent and also since she wasn't my gf, I decided to keep quiet from then on.

For #4, Also learnt this the hard way. By showing weakness, the girl will realise that you aren't strong to rely on and will leave. This might not happen in marriage, but I'd reckon that the girl would still lose respect in the guy if he shows weakness regardless of relationship status. I thought the same as you, thinking that girls had higher eq and were better at emotional support, I hear her out, she hear me out. But usually it's more like I hear her out.

This point definitely going to be conflicting if considering marriage. Because marriage is supposedly an emotional and physical bond, so you accept each other weaknesses and listen to each other. If the girl cannot even accept your weakness in the dating/relationship phase, then there's no point going for marriage. And most girls want the end-game or going for the thick-and-thin, where you make it big in life after chasing the fire and accomplishing big feats.

Point 5 is a good reminder, something to take note of. Guessing game isn't good. Some girls do that because they aren't interested in you as you mentioned or it could be their communication style, where they expect you to read what is in their mind. Best is to avoid such girls and move on with life.

Point 6 is probably like going for shopping. Just that the girl would generally have a lot more options, thanks to dating apps. Guys go to shop with limited options, so more likely to zero in on one. Girls can go to many different shops, with numerous options available.

------------------------

Simping is very prevalent today. Even in streaming platforms like twitch/youtube, it's evident to see that a lot of guys donate to girls online. There's also hololive now, which attracts the male audience group that is into anime characters. Guys fanboy for 2d character voiced by real life people lol.

I am in the same boat as you, I think it's alright to see but not gonna pay a single cent for it. It's still possible to support these people without having to pay (follow, view their content = they already earning money). Otherwise, it's better to spend the money on food, gym (workout), home stuff (get a new bed, fix air con). I just don't see how I can spend money on someone that is sharing their content largely for free (excluding onlyfans).

------------------------

Ask yourself objectively, what can you get out of it? What do the girl bring to the table? Think very carefully, but to me, sex is the only thing they can bring.
When divorced, all of your hard earned assets will be split, also need to pay alimony and child support.
We men stand to lose the most in a marriage and only gained sex, and the sex is gradually getting lesser and lesser if the wife withhold it due to losing interest in you. You end up with nothing, lots of men already kena screwed this way already, looking at the comment section of the content that i read is absolutely heartbreaking, i'm glad i didnt marry yet.


Rational choice not to go for marriage. Nowadays, not only are divorces high but fertility rate is dropping fast. A girl might not necessarily want kids (more and more don't). Once with kid, it's almost tied down already. Happy wife, happy life concept. Again, girl want the end game and if they not happy, assets split and barely see the kid. Sex or physical intimacy tends to decline after having baby. Probably because got to work harder to support the kid and raising kid takes a lot of energy/time, no more mood to have sex. Apart from sex, emotional support/intimacy is something that could be gained, but one needs to understand usually is the girl that wants this emotional heart-to-heart talk, while guy prefer physical. If a guy is despo for emotional support, could always hang out with their close guy friends lol
TSSasuke95
post Oct 17 2021, 04:48 PM

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QUOTE(lordderrick @ Oct 17 2021, 03:59 PM)
Had a read at this, it's really good knowledge. Some of this, I learnt it the hard way and thought back about it, realised how much of a fool I was for making such decisions.

For #1, I would just elaborate a little and add on, chase the fire. By fire, it could be anything that improves yourself. Money, job promotion, buy a house. Anything apart from girls. You progress in this area, you can have stability in your life. And that stability in your life, is what attracts girls.

As for #2, I learnt it the hard way. I had the instinct of solving the problem and many times, apologise for something I didn't do wrong. For e.g. when a girl does not respond to me, I thought I said something wrong. When in actual fact, it is just better off letting go of such girls. They definitely aren't worth the time.

For #3, I ever had an experience where I had to deal with a girl, who told me she didn't consider me to be as boyfriend. But she acted quite clingy, she underwent a harsh break-up with her ex, because her ex cheated on her. I put up with most of her stories, but realised that she was still doing really well academically (this was back in college). She would talk about a sad story and ended up doing exceptionally well. Highly inconsistent and also since she wasn't my gf, I decided to keep quiet from then on.

For #4, Also learnt this the hard way. By showing weakness, the girl will realise that you aren't strong to rely on and will leave. This might not happen in marriage, but I'd reckon that the girl would still lose respect in the guy if he shows weakness regardless of relationship status. I thought the same as you, thinking that girls had higher eq and were better at emotional support, I hear her out, she hear me out. But usually it's more like I hear her out.

This point definitely going to be conflicting if considering marriage. Because marriage is supposedly an emotional and physical bond, so you accept each other weaknesses and listen to each other. If the girl cannot even accept your weakness in the dating/relationship phase, then there's no point going for marriage. And most girls want the end-game or going for the thick-and-thin, where you make it big in life after chasing the fire and accomplishing big feats.

Point 5 is a good reminder, something to take note of. Guessing game isn't good. Some girls do that because they aren't interested in you as you mentioned or it could be their communication style, where they expect you to read what is in their mind. Best is to avoid such girls and move on with life.

Point 6 is probably like going for shopping. Just that the girl would generally have a lot more options, thanks to dating apps. Guys go to shop with limited options, so more likely to zero in on one. Girls can go to many different shops, with numerous options available.

------------------------

Simping is very prevalent today. Even in streaming platforms like twitch/youtube, it's evident to see that a lot of guys donate to girls online. There's also hololive now, which attracts the male audience group that is into anime characters. Guys fanboy for 2d character voiced by real life people lol.

I am in the same boat as you, I think it's alright to see but not gonna pay a single cent for it. It's still possible to support these people without having to pay (follow, view their content = they already earning money). Otherwise, it's better to spend the money on food, gym (workout), home stuff (get a new bed, fix air con). I just don't see how I can spend money on someone that is sharing their content largely for free (excluding onlyfans).

------------------------

Ask yourself objectively, what can you get out of it? What do the girl bring to the table? Think very carefully, but to me, sex is the only thing they can bring.
When divorced, all of your hard earned assets will be split, also need to pay alimony and child support.
We men stand to lose the most in a marriage and only gained sex, and the sex is gradually getting lesser and lesser if the wife withhold it due to losing interest in you. You end up with nothing, lots of men already kena screwed this way already, looking at the comment section of the content that i read is absolutely heartbreaking, i'm glad i didnt marry yet.
Rational choice not to go for marriage. Nowadays, not only are divorces high but fertility rate is dropping fast. A girl might not necessarily want kids (more and more don't). Once with kid, it's almost tied down already. Happy wife, happy life concept. Again, girl want the end game and if they not happy, assets split and barely see the kid. Sex or physical intimacy tends to decline after having baby. Probably because got to work harder to support the kid and raising kid takes a lot of energy/time, no more mood to have sex. Apart from sex, emotional support/intimacy is something that could be gained, but one needs to understand usually is the girl that wants this emotional heart-to-heart talk, while guy prefer physical. If a guy is despo for emotional support, could always hang out with their close guy friends lol
*
Glad you get something out of it, if you really think very rationally, there's no point in all these. Most human have herd mentality, will follow what majority does to feel normal, go thru work until old age, marry, have kids, etc. Very few have strong mind and deviate away with these BS.

I don't put up with the BS, I'm going to quit my job soon as i reached my FIRE (financial freedom retire early) target and can live off interest indefinitely, to hell with 9 to 5 jobs till you die.

For ordinary people you're setting up yourself for nightmare if you marry. Husband wife work hard to keep family floating, kids giving headache, no mood for leisure after all the stress, no extra money for leisure because to feed family, house loan car loan, debt paying till you retire, and still you're broke. True marriage is for rich people who don't need to worry about money anymore and focus on the real leisure. Marriage is just an expensive long term prostitution to put it bluntly, that is the case if she's still giving you spicy action, what if she stopped giving it? It became long term burden, you're better off living a single life with much more resource to enrich lifestyle. Not to mention the divorce probability and alimony etc.

Things will work out if she's a really good woman who don't act on their instincts, they won't leave you when you're vulnerable, willing to work it out when things are not well, etc. But what are the odds you will meet this kind of people? Don't bet on it, especially in this era, attention span is very short, spend most time tapping phones, will dump you for the next cool thing.

Best to just outsource your pleasure, different flavour every time without commitment. Occasionally get pleasure from own connections without outsourcing for the challenge, feels good when you don't involve money and they fall for you and let you do it.
Cyberbullies
post Oct 17 2021, 05:19 PM

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QUOTE(Sasuke95 @ Oct 17 2021, 12:50 PM)
He also admitted he wasn't welcomed in /k, clearly he's an obnoxious person, see how he reply in my thread

He really really needs support group, even online anonymous people finds him unbearable, then he go on to spend 40k on Bigo? I can't brain this, I refuse to count how many times he can pay for pleasure with that money, but instead used it to simp for something that he can't see or touch, let alone if it's even real, online girls are littered with excessive filters that make them look like super models while in reality you wouldn't bat an eye on them

Sad to see what men has become these days... Oh wait he always emphasise he's a frog, perhaps men standards don't apply to animals... Lmao
*
I mean it's ok if he wants to do what he likes since it's his money and everyone is different haha.

It's just that I don't think someone who spends not just his time but money as well on virtual girls (time + money on virtual girls = the lowest of simp imo) has the right to act all mighty and criticise others in cupid corner in such a sarcastic manner lol.

Not sure why he labelled you as an incel lol.

I think it's clear that you didn't label ALL women as bad - it's just that you think that the majority of them are bad while recognising that there are good ones but just don't have the vigour anymore to try to land the good ones after all the bad experiences.

To me, this just seems like getting your priorities right, especially at a young age.

And yeah, like you, I can't understand people who waste their time watching virtual girls (that is even if they don't spend money on them because to me as cliche as it sounds, I think that time is money). Of course that's just my POV since people may think of it as an entertainment to them.
RUI
post Oct 18 2021, 11:41 AM

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QUOTE(lordderrick @ Oct 17 2021, 03:59 PM)
Had a read at this, it's really good knowledge. Some of this, I learnt it the hard way and thought back about it, realised how much of a fool I was for making such decisions.

For #1, I would just elaborate a little and add on, chase the fire. By fire, it could be anything that improves yourself. Money, job promotion, buy a house. Anything apart from girls. You progress in this area, you can have stability in your life. And that stability in your life, is what attracts girls.

As for #2, I learnt it the hard way. I had the instinct of solving the problem and many times, apologise for something I didn't do wrong. For e.g. when a girl does not respond to me, I thought I said something wrong. When in actual fact, it is just better off letting go of such girls. They definitely aren't worth the time.

For #3, I ever had an experience where I had to deal with a girl, who told me she didn't consider me to be as boyfriend. But she acted quite clingy, she underwent a harsh break-up with her ex, because her ex cheated on her. I put up with most of her stories, but realised that she was still doing really well academically (this was back in college). She would talk about a sad story and ended up doing exceptionally well. Highly inconsistent and also since she wasn't my gf, I decided to keep quiet from then on.

For #4, Also learnt this the hard way. By showing weakness, the girl will realise that you aren't strong to rely on and will leave. This might not happen in marriage, but I'd reckon that the girl would still lose respect in the guy if he shows weakness regardless of relationship status. I thought the same as you, thinking that girls had higher eq and were better at emotional support, I hear her out, she hear me out. But usually it's more like I hear her out.

This point definitely going to be conflicting if considering marriage. Because marriage is supposedly an emotional and physical bond, so you accept each other weaknesses and listen to each other. If the girl cannot even accept your weakness in the dating/relationship phase, then there's no point going for marriage. And most girls want the end-game or going for the thick-and-thin, where you make it big in life after chasing the fire and accomplishing big feats.

Point 5 is a good reminder, something to take note of. Guessing game isn't good. Some girls do that because they aren't interested in you as you mentioned or it could be their communication style, where they expect you to read what is in their mind. Best is to avoid such girls and move on with life.

Point 6 is probably like going for shopping. Just that the girl would generally have a lot more options, thanks to dating apps. Guys go to shop with limited options, so more likely to zero in on one. Girls can go to many different shops, with numerous options available.

------------------------

Simping is very prevalent today. Even in streaming platforms like twitch/youtube, it's evident to see that a lot of guys donate to girls online. There's also hololive now, which attracts the male audience group that is into anime characters. Guys fanboy for 2d character voiced by real life people lol.

I am in the same boat as you, I think it's alright to see but not gonna pay a single cent for it. It's still possible to support these people without having to pay (follow, view their content = they already earning money). Otherwise, it's better to spend the money on food, gym (workout), home stuff (get a new bed, fix air con). I just don't see how I can spend money on someone that is sharing their content largely for free (excluding onlyfans).

------------------------

Ask yourself objectively, what can you get out of it? What do the girl bring to the table? Think very carefully, but to me, sex is the only thing they can bring.
When divorced, all of your hard earned assets will be split, also need to pay alimony and child support.
We men stand to lose the most in a marriage and only gained sex, and the sex is gradually getting lesser and lesser if the wife withhold it due to losing interest in you. You end up with nothing, lots of men already kena screwed this way already, looking at the comment section of the content that i read is absolutely heartbreaking, i'm glad i didnt marry yet.
Rational choice not to go for marriage. Nowadays, not only are divorces high but fertility rate is dropping fast. A girl might not necessarily want kids (more and more don't). Once with kid, it's almost tied down already. Happy wife, happy life concept. Again, girl want the end game and if they not happy, assets split and barely see the kid. Sex or physical intimacy tends to decline after having baby. Probably because got to work harder to support the kid and raising kid takes a lot of energy/time, no more mood to have sex. Apart from sex, emotional support/intimacy is something that could be gained, but one needs to understand usually is the girl that wants this emotional heart-to-heart talk, while guy prefer physical. If a guy is despo for emotional support, could always hang out with their close guy friends lol
*
1) Quite alot of growing up to do I see. If you think you going to get these "Money, job promotion, buy a house and business venture" as long you work hard; I think you haven't walked this earth enough. laugh.gif
I can tell you real life personal experience how it's gone in a blink and how you wished it's all nightmare. It's not, but that's just what life is. I'm glad life has taught me good lesson. I have my frustration, but you won't see me walking away.

2) You are naturally agreeable person. Agreeable person can't go far in life. Learn put your foot down on things. Switch up "I'm sorry" with "what the hell i'm sorry for?". Read this alone, you know who is the man. Else, a more gentlemen version "I see there are gaps somewhere caused you frustration, will you help me fill them up?".

3) It's coping mechanism. Dumb one goes to alcohols and never ending complains how the world wronged them. For her, maybe she spends 2 hours dumping her frustration to you. Refer point 2, if you don't happen to know why you are always that bin. But she still hv 14 hours to deal with herself. She choose to bury herself in studies. She understands that if she doesn't get the man she wants, she will still get good grades. Only s@hai destroy themselves after breaking up. If you got dumped, the last thing you wanna do is prove the other fella F*CKING RIGHT for dumping your sorry @ss. That's just plain dumb. I'm not saying you can't be sad. I'm saying don't be STUPID.

4) You confused weaknesses and vulnerability. Strong man work on their weaknesses but share their vulnerability. What makes me go beyond duty and more is when this great person/client comes to me sharing his vision, his problem and ask me to look really into it if I can do him/society solid.

Human nature - as raw as it could be. It's a disturbing truth. But I agree with the result. That's how men who thinks that "he should get sex, just because he has a gun" should JUST DIE.

I'm not from mindless women bashing bandwagon. I'm sure when you go out for ur lads drinks, there are freeloaders. I don't see you start a thread bashing them.
Based on that observation, I can't help wonder where is the difference except your lads don't hv a hole for you to poke at the end. Perhaps if you try manage your expectations the next time you buy a girl Bolognese, you probably won't be as angry. And this is more useful than just mindlessly bash your dates/women. Wow, you are already so much more attractive. Watch this Hottest thing to say to a woman. If you can't say that, you gonna come off a despo!

You know what it feels like now? Hawkie giving RUI a lecture on meanings of life 10-15 years ago. laugh.gif
Maybe you walk another 10 years, you will be the RUI giving another lordderrick/sasuke95 the same lecture. rclxms.gif

This post has been edited by RUI: Oct 18 2021, 11:45 AM
-mystery-
post Oct 18 2021, 12:18 PM

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this thread is still going strong? Lol
I thought its done.

my experiences have always been,
'dont take women seriously, unless if you found the mythical one, there's no one, esp when you are facing struggles, men life are always difficult, that's why reap the benefits kawmaw when the time has come, you only lived once, dont buy into societal standard (s), those are for beta males.'
TSSasuke95
post Oct 18 2021, 12:26 PM

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QUOTE(-mystery- @ Oct 18 2021, 12:18 PM)
this thread is still going strong? Lol
I thought its done.

my experiences have always been,
'dont take women seriously, unless if you found the mythical one, there's no one, esp when you are facing struggles, men life are always difficult, that's why reap the benefits kawmaw when the time has come, you only lived once, dont buy into societal standard (s), those are for beta males.'
*
Some people find value in it while some don't, you can't stop them from viewing if they wish to, you can walk away

Mind listing a few societal standards so I know your context?
-mystery-
post Oct 18 2021, 12:38 PM

Look at all my stars!!
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QUOTE(Sasuke95 @ Oct 18 2021, 12:26 PM)
Some people find value in it while some don't, you can't stop them from viewing if they wish to, you can walk away

Mind listing a few societal standards so I know your context?
*
get a degree, get a good job, earn fixed income, remember to pay taxes, be a good man get marrird and discarded like nobody when boss dislikes you etc...

those are classic ones
lordderrick P
post Oct 18 2021, 03:57 PM

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QUOTE(Sasuke95 @ Oct 17 2021, 04:48 PM)
Glad you get something out of it, if you really think very rationally, there's no point in all these. Most human have herd mentality, will follow what majority does to feel normal, go thru work until old age, marry, have kids, etc. Very few have strong mind and deviate away with these BS.

I don't put up with the BS, I'm going to quit my job soon as i reached my FIRE (financial freedom retire early) target and can live off interest indefinitely, to hell with 9 to 5 jobs till you die.

For ordinary people you're setting up yourself for nightmare if you marry. Husband wife work hard to keep family floating, kids giving headache, no mood for leisure after all the stress, no extra money for leisure because to feed family, house loan car loan, debt paying till you retire, and still you're broke. True marriage is for rich people who don't need to worry about money anymore and focus on the real leisure. Marriage is just an expensive long term prostitution to put it bluntly, that is the case if she's still giving you spicy action, what if she stopped giving it? It became long term burden, you're better off living a single life with much more resource to enrich lifestyle. Not to mention the divorce probability and alimony etc.

Things will work out if she's a really good woman who don't act on their instincts, they won't leave you when you're vulnerable, willing to work it out when things are not well, etc. But what are the odds you will meet this kind of people? Don't bet on it, especially in this era, attention span is very short, spend most time tapping phones, will dump you for the next cool thing.

Best to just outsource your pleasure, different flavour every time without commitment. Occasionally get pleasure from own connections without outsourcing for the challenge, feels good when you don't involve money and they fall for you and let you do it.
*
I think people generally follow societal norms because it makes them feel safe/secure. I have since young, preferred to not follow the norm. My goal is also to FIRE, but with that, plan to live abroad. I have heard of ordinary people struggles from friends. Had a friend, whose dad, sole income earner, managed to send two kids abroad to study medical school. And it took a huge toll on finances, he had to work many hours, live in a small house, persuade his parents (my friend's grandparents) to fund the kid's education. For some people, this is their happiness, they wouldn't mind sacrificing their time/life for others out there. But I think, marriage and kids will require a sacrificial mindset. You have to compromise to some extent.

In another example on the other side of the fence, I knew another guy who just hit 40, dated a 30+ year old girl. The girl herself, was very much captivated by his down-to-earth, frank mindset. But, eventually the relationship fade during the time where the dude was watching a soccer match and the girl kept being distracting by wanting to chat with him. He scolded the girl to keep quiet and from there, broke up. The guy have no regrets since, he lived his life on his own terms without any compromise.

Ultimately, it's what you want. You want more of your life, then it's best not to pursue marriage and run wild haha.

It isn't easy to determine whether the girl is good or not these days. People become so good at hiding their flaws perhaps till the day you marry them. Have an uncle, that has depression after his second failed marriage. Basically, the issue of the marriage boiled down to finances. The wife earns a lot (VP of bank) and the husband earns slightly more. The wife belief was that my money is mine, your money is mine. So, she expected credit card + cash provided to her by the husband. The husband eventually decided to say no and wife pull out divorce card.

Yes, there's tons of ways to derive pleasure. It need not even have to involve sex. You can travel abroad and eat good food, that is pleasure in itself. Do what you love without commitments, have fun.

QUOTE(RUI @ Oct 18 2021, 11:41 AM)
1) Quite alot of growing up to do I see. If you think you going to get these "Money, job promotion, buy a house and business venture" as long you work hard; I think you haven't walked this earth enough.  laugh.gif
I can tell you real life personal experience how it's gone in a blink and how you wished it's all nightmare. It's not, but that's just what life is. I'm glad life has taught me good lesson. I have my frustration, but you won't see me walking away.

2) You are naturally agreeable person. Agreeable person can't go far in life. Learn put your foot down on things. Switch up "I'm sorry" with "what the hell i'm sorry for?". Read this alone, you know who is the man. Else, a more gentlemen version "I see there are gaps somewhere caused you frustration, will you help me fill them up?".

3) It's coping mechanism. Dumb one goes to alcohols and never ending complains how the world wronged them. For her, maybe she spends 2 hours dumping her frustration to you. Refer point 2, if you don't happen to know why you are always that bin. But she still hv 14 hours to deal with herself. She choose to bury herself in studies. She understands that if she doesn't get the man she wants, she will still get good grades. Only s@hai destroy themselves after breaking up. If you got dumped, the last thing you wanna do is prove the other fella F*CKING RIGHT for dumping your sorry @ss. That's just plain dumb. I'm not saying you can't be sad. I'm saying don't be STUPID.

4) You confused weaknesses and vulnerability. Strong man work on their weaknesses but share their vulnerability. What makes me go beyond duty and more is when this great person/client comes to me sharing his vision, his problem and ask me to look really into it if I can do him/society solid.

It's a disturbing truth. But I agree with the result. That's how men who thinks that "he should get sex, just because he has a gun" should JUST DIE.

I'm not from mindless women bashing bandwagon. I'm sure when you go out for ur lads drinks, there are freeloaders. I don't see you start a thread bashing them.
Based on that observation, I can't help wonder where is the difference except your lads don't hv a hole for you to poke at the end. Perhaps if you try manage your expectations the next time you buy a girl Bolognese, you probably won't be as angry. And this is more useful than just mindlessly bash your dates/women. Wow, you are already so much more attractive. If you can't say that, you gonna come off a despo!

You know what it feels like now? Hawkie giving RUI a lecture on meanings of life 10-15 years ago.  laugh.gif
Maybe you walk another 10 years, you will be the RUI giving another lordderrick/sasuke95 the same lecture.  rclxms.gif
*
For me, is better to focus on career and earn the money, be self-sufficient. This is more important for me than romance at least in my phase of life.

Yeah, but I have learnt to decipher right from wrong over time and be more grounded.

The person who I knew, she went through rough breakup since she got cheated on. Tried to take her own life. Couldn't really get over it and had to see psychiatrist. And she looking to cope as you mentioned. I realised it's better off to move forward and ignore lol

I think vulnerability and working on weakness is a good thing, especially on a business perspective. But, I have done the same for dating by sharing my vision and saying I would work hard on it, but it's not very effective as compared to having the end product - car, house, money. Action speaks louder than words, is my experience thus far. Hence, why I focus a lot on self-improvement.
-mystery-
post Oct 18 2021, 05:03 PM

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QUOTE(lordderrick @ Oct 18 2021, 03:57 PM)
. Basically, the issue of the marriage boiled down to finances. The wife earns a lot (VP of bank) and the husband earns slightly more. The wife belief was that my money is mine, your money is mine. So, she expected credit card + cash provided to her by the husband. The husband eventually decided to say no and wife pull out divorce card.
*
Someone who earn lots of money doesn't mean he's red pilled. This kind of woman shouldn't be regarded as ltr material within the first 6 months of knowing each other.

Scarcity mindsets, are what driving beta economy.
Look, if you don't get married fast, you'll lose someone!
Look at these propoganda that you need to earn X amount of money or drive certain cars for luxurious lifestyle.

Fast car = Hot girls
No fast car = no Quality girls for you.

Lmao. Its very funny when you see from a red pill lens.
RUI
post Oct 21 2021, 08:44 PM

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QUOTE(-mystery- @ Oct 18 2021, 12:38 PM)
get a degree, get a good job, earn fixed income, remember to pay taxes, be a good man get marrird and discarded like nobody when boss dislikes you etc...

those are classic ones
*
you WILL be discarded anyway. Don’t talk as if you get to live different reality. Only deluded narcissist believes they do.

So where is the difference? Oh yeah, other people who strive towards a to be a good man, good friend, good husband, good son, good father get leave behind a legacy that people remembers.

Purpose and meaning are often beyond yourself.

for narcissist called “mystery”? “Nope, doesn’t ring a bell.” That’s gonna your legacy. laugh.gif

RUI
post Oct 21 2021, 08:57 PM

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QUOTE(lordderrick @ Oct 18 2021, 03:57 PM)
I think people generally follow societal norms because it makes them feel safe/secure. I have since young, preferred to not follow the norm. My goal is also to FIRE, but with that, plan to live abroad. I have heard of ordinary people struggles from friends. Had a friend, whose dad, sole income earner, managed to send two kids abroad to study medical school. And it took a huge toll on finances, he had to work many hours, live in a small house, persuade his parents (my friend's grandparents) to fund the kid's education. For some people, this is their happiness, they wouldn't mind sacrificing their time/life for others out there. But I think, marriage and kids will require a sacrificial mindset. You have to compromise to some extent.

In another example on the other side of the fence, I knew another guy who just hit 40, dated a 30+ year old girl. The girl herself, was very much captivated by his down-to-earth, frank mindset. But, eventually the relationship fade during the time where the dude was watching a soccer match and the girl kept being distracting by wanting to chat with him. He scolded the girl to keep quiet and from there, broke up. The guy have no regrets since, he lived his life on his own terms without any compromise.

Ultimately, it's what you want. You want more of your life, then it's best not to pursue marriage and run wild haha.

It isn't easy to determine whether the girl is good or not these days. People become so good at hiding their flaws perhaps till the day you marry them. Have an uncle, that has depression after his second failed marriage. Basically, the issue of the marriage boiled down to finances. The wife earns a lot (VP of bank) and the husband earns slightly more. The wife belief was that my money is mine, your money is mine. So, she expected credit card + cash provided to her by the husband. The husband eventually decided to say no and wife pull out divorce card.

Yes, there's tons of ways to derive pleasure. It need not even have to involve sex. You can travel abroad and eat good food, that is pleasure in itself. Do what you love without commitments, have fun.
For me, is better to focus on career and earn the money, be self-sufficient. This is more important for me than romance at least in my phase of life.

Yeah, but I have learnt to decipher right from wrong over time and be more grounded.

The person who I knew, she went through rough breakup since she got cheated on. Tried to take her own life. Couldn't really get over it and had to see psychiatrist. And she looking to cope as you mentioned. I realised it's better off to move forward and ignore lol

I think vulnerability and working on weakness is a good thing, especially on a business perspective. But, I have done the same for dating by sharing my vision and saying I would work hard on it, but it's not very effective as compared to having the end product - car, house, money. Action speaks louder than words, is my experience thus far. Hence, why I focus a lot on self-improvement.
*
One of the advice I wish my current would give to my younger self.

“It’s none of your business if others should be, could be or might be good. Only business you have is to gather equity and be the best you can be”. Don’t waste your time on if he/she is like this and that. There are literally nothin u can do about it.

U still on no money, no honey mode. When you do have the money and still no honey. May I have the front row to your epic frustrated face? laugh.gif

For me here, since nothing going to change here. Might as well make fun of it. rclxs0.gif


silverhawk
post Oct 22 2021, 01:01 AM

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QUOTE(RUI @ Oct 21 2021, 08:44 PM)
you WILL be discarded anyway. Don’t talk as if you get to live different reality. Only deluded narcissist believes they do.

So where is the difference? Oh yeah, other people who  strive towards a to be a good man, good friend, good husband, good son, good father get leave behind a legacy that people remembers.

Purpose and meaning are often beyond yourself.

for narcissist called “mystery”? “Nope, doesn’t ring a bell.” That’s gonna your legacy.  laugh.gif
*
You've grown much wiser
-mystery-
post Oct 22 2021, 12:36 PM

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QUOTE(RUI @ Oct 21 2021, 08:44 PM)
Purpose and meaning are often beyond yourself.
*
why? want to be another jordan peterson is it
what is meaning of life lmao.


RUI
post Oct 22 2021, 10:16 PM

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QUOTE(-mystery- @ Oct 22 2021, 12:36 PM)
why? want to be another jordan peterson is it
what is meaning of life lmao.
*
well, if i’m get to be 1/100 of Jordan Peterson is whole lot better than NOBODY. biggrin.gif

You like it or not, he actually addressed ur behaviour. Clowns like you are read like open book!
The opposite of meanings and good is nihilistic. Strong resentment towards all the good and belittle people accomplishment. Isn’t that all that you are good at? hmm.gif

Now what? Latest pinnacle of red piller success is wank yourself 999 times a week under ur parent’s roof?
Or running away from yourself believing that’s smart is it? Else, do enlighten. I’m sure you are destine for something more right? Or that’s it? laugh.gif

P.S. This fella fell into a dumb trap. It’s called identity bias. Just like how a flat earther believes that earth is flat instead of round and there are no amount of evidence you provide them would change their mind.
RUI
post Oct 22 2021, 10:28 PM

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QUOTE(silverhawk @ Oct 22 2021, 01:01 AM)
You've grown much wiser
*
People eventually graduate when they are ready.
Some sooner. Some later. Some never. laugh.gif

Ur arguments are well grounded. Not easy to make fun of.
On the other hand, MGTOW and red pillers will collapse on it’s own. Don’t miss the window to have some fun before they do. thumbsup.gif

This post has been edited by RUI: Oct 22 2021, 10:28 PM
-mystery-
post Oct 22 2021, 11:58 PM

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QUOTE(RUI @ Oct 22 2021, 10:16 PM)
Now what? Latest pinnacle of red piller success is wank yourself 999 times a week under ur parent’s roof?
*
you sound like a hater, i cant imagine you stalk me above my roof brows.gif
Takudan
post Oct 23 2021, 01:25 AM

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QUOTE(lordderrick @ Oct 18 2021, 03:57 PM)
I think people generally follow societal norms because it makes them feel safe/secure. I have since young, preferred to not follow the norm. 
...
It isn't easy to determine whether the girl is good or not these days. People become so good at hiding their flaws perhaps till the day you marry them.

Yes, there's tons of ways to derive pleasure. It need not even have to involve sex. You can travel abroad and eat good food, that is pleasure in itself. Do what you love without commitments, have fun.
For me, is better to focus on career and earn the money, be self-sufficient. This is more important for me than romance at least in my phase of life.

Yeah, but I have learnt to decipher right from wrong over time and be more grounded.

The person who I knew, she went through rough breakup since she got cheated on. Tried to take her own life. Couldn't really get over it and had to see psychiatrist. And she looking to cope as you mentioned. I realised it's better off to move forward and ignore lol

I think vulnerability and working on weakness is a good thing, especially on a business perspective. But, I have done the same for dating by sharing my vision and saying I would work hard on it, but it's not very effective as compared to having the end product - car, house, money. Action speaks louder than words, is my experience thus far. Hence, why I focus a lot on self-improvement.
*
I think it's great you're focusing on yourself - to improve your monetary side, but don't forget to grow as a person. It's part of improving yourself to learn how to deal with people:
- how to communicate; expectations should be set upon promises/words, not by mind reading or assuming someone's intention. It's not just about girls having absurd romantic expectations, but also couples getting too comfortable with each other, slowly taking each other for granted.
- how to identify the red flags as early as possible; read through the lines
- learn what you're really looking for in a partner with every try. For me, I didn't realize what I was looking for in a partner until I found someone now. I used to think on the physical/materialistic side, shits like
1. Not obese, it's unhealthy and unsexy after all (deal-breaker 1)
2. Not smoker (deal-breaker 2)
3. Looks are not important
4. Family person, so I know the future family we build will be well taken care of
5. Someone good at dad jokes, I like to laugh
6. Preferably passionate/good at his job, so he will earn more than me or has high potential to do so in the future
7. Preferably can play musical instrument, then I can sing along
8. Financially educated
...

So along the way, I matched many on dating apps, and ultimately met a few whom I thought we clicked:
A: actual Japanese lol. Loves the same rock band as I do, so cool man. I can speak a little and I love Japanese culture. We had a lot of cultural exchange and it was fun, but ultimately didn't work out as we had miscommunication because he's not good in English and I'm not good in Japanese.
B: very, very hardworking. Actually works 2 jobs in the F&B. Earns less than me due to the pandemic situation but has very good business mindset. Also cracks quite a lot of dad jokes. But I felt dragged along in the conversations, despite having interest for him. Didn't work out.
C: a very filial son and loves his niece. Literally got called by niece twice on our first date. He owns H car, condo, works as an economist with really, really good pay. Also a very kind, quiet soul... So what went wrong? Bro, truth be told, he let me realise that looks is important to a certain extent after all! On our first meetup, he showed up with unkempt hair, baggy T and short pants, like he's going pasar. Then at the restaurant, he took off his mask and showed his crooked and dark teeth, it turned me off so much. He expressed his interest towards me, which was great .... but not really. He talked to me like it was a 10-minute sales pitch to win me over. I really liked his "profile on paper", but I couldn't understand why I was so turned off by someone who ticked all my boxes, so I told him that I would like him to look a bit better on the next meeting, just to give both of us a chance, which he eagerly promised and scheduled a meeting in the immediate following week. In the end, he still showed up sloppy so I decided to call it off.

Finally, I'm with someone now who is...
1. Not obese
2. Not smoker
3. Looks ok lo
4. Ok with family, but looks a bit awkward with kids, just like me lol
5. Lame, like, I'm the better joker dayum
6. Believes that job is just for the money, there's no passion. Currently earns less than me
7. Can't sing, probably tone deaf even
8. Almost financially illiterate, but at least he has savings and is debt free.
(In case my man reads this post... Next meal on me 😂😂)

In the end, you'll know when a quality is "good enough" to no longer matter. Everything else is superficial. I learned that all I wanted is someone who would put me as one of his main priorities. Someone who genuinely wants me, at the same time not pushy/forceful at all. He pours in so much effort to try to impress me, his lame jokes still meh but I give A+ for effort. 😋
Oh and, I kinda realised that I am more strongly opinionated, so I communicate so much easier with someone who's more easygoing.

It's really not about the money to meet that someone you want... Unless you want to be with a gold digger.
If you yearn for a life partner, then start working towards it by actually trying to connect deeply with someone. Every step in every path, even if it's a detour, you can learn something from it to help you decide your next, to a better future.

Edit: some of you men may cringe at mine who's "like a beta" in your dictionary, but hey, to each his own ok? Like I said, if you think money wins you girl, then a gold digger suits you.
For us, it just happened that I want someone who prioritises me, and he likes to prioritise his girl.

This post has been edited by Takudan: Oct 23 2021, 01:39 AM
silverhawk
post Oct 23 2021, 12:07 PM

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QUOTE(Takudan @ Oct 23 2021, 01:25 AM)
Edit: some of you men may cringe at mine who's "like a beta" in your dictionary, but hey, to each his own ok? Like I said, if you think money wins you girl, then a gold digger suits you.
For us, it just happened that I want someone who prioritises me, and he likes to prioritise his girl.
*
As long as you're both happy, you shouldn't care about what anyone says.
ZZR-Pilot
post Oct 23 2021, 05:05 PM

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Good advice for tweens.
RUI
post Oct 24 2021, 11:20 PM

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QUOTE(-mystery- @ Oct 22 2021, 11:58 PM)
you sound like a hater, i cant imagine you stalk me above my roof brows.gif
*
U dont pay for women. U dont do shit for women.
Hence, the remaining options are left or right hand.

No i dont hate. Its just the elusive uncommon common sense boy. thumbsup.gif

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