TS, consider yourself lucky where you do not have to deal with all those in your family. I have to.

It is due to traditions. People who are not taught to have critical thinking since young and only receive one way education will only think what they have received.

I'm in a typical Chinese family as you mentioned and I strongly against such culture. It made my life very hard because our opinion clashes most of the time.

My dad want me to get a new car so hard and we went into argument for a lot of times. My current car is old but it works just fine and very cheap maintenance.

Recently I pay my insurance and for my cheap old car already 1.3k, without ncd of course. My dad wanted me to get new car asap and the insurance can easily hit 4.2k with tax. How the hell does that work? I can't even pay for my rent anymore.

I wanted to focus on my work and earn experience as much as I can, then use the extra budget buy what I want, save for vacation or whatsoever. Once my skillset and experience grow, 10 years later, I can buy even better car and even houses, without causing financial stress. My current car is nice to drive, just look a bit old. Such mindset doesn't work in Chinese culture.

In Chinese culture, one must buy the most expensive car their loan can afford. I don't like that. What if I got into financial trouble? Do i need to borrow money from others? Take freelance job which will affect my performance in my company? Do I end up busy and do not have time to grow my skillset? In that way, 10 years later I might not able to grow my salaries and couldn't afford better things.

I do not have relation with most of my relatives anymore because all they ask is salary or girlfriend. If they are better than me, I have to endure their look downs and laughing behind the fake smile. If I'm better than them, they go back and compare and stress their kids again.

My situation sounds like very common Chinese family issues but I do not have optimal way to deal with it. All I do now is have less meetups with them. They did not taught to have critical thinking and I couldn't use logic to persuade nor explain to them why I did those.

This post has been edited by NoobHacker: Jul 10 2021, 10:49 AM

I think you just answered yourself. We cannot enjoy life and be happy.

Chinese cultured people keep that mindset until they are old and realize something is missing when they retired. Then they share those whatsapp flower pictures to remind themselves to be happy. Quite pity imo.

I think as a kid, as long as the grades are decent, we are allowed to.

I used to have a teacher in UEC as well, face must stay sad and serious all time. Any smile will get us punished. Sometimes she make a joke and we laugh also get punished Now I quite pity her as well, she do not know how to be happy and spread some happiness.