Not married.

People i'm seeing normally lives in. For me, it begins by sharing my plan for the evening or next morning. And insinuate what's going to happen like "hey, i bought a new brand of cream. Wanna try cookies and cream in bed?"

if she participates. ON. If she say...Oh, xyz. You have fun.
Then, I guess it's incognito mode then. What to do.

For married one. I think it's better to actually establish a routine on how to proceed. And declined without hurting the relationship. I don't think people that care for one another will declined. Unless something else that's going wrong.

And last thing u will wanna do is lashing out "Last time we had was 2 weeks ago!". You will immediate feel the wedge grew even bigger.