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TSanilin
post Nov 21 2020, 08:03 PM, updated 9 months ago

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Few months ago one of my classmate (online course thingy) text me personally to ask about serious matter. It was just normal chat once a while.
.
After 1 month, he suddenly addresses me Lenglui, and started other topics but I consider it as casual chat, we often exchange lunch photos, etc.. Few times he would ask whether got miss him or not? I avoided these kind of questions most time. I found his profile in facebook and happened to know he's married with a son somemore. He's younger than me 4 years but he lied about his age, and status too. Guess that's common.
.
We talked in phone before for like only 1 minute, and video call for 2 minutes.
.

He will share to me many info and case studies related to our field of studies.. Helped in my academic somehow...but he seems got other intention behind the sharing.

.
Lately he suddenly likes to bring up xxx topics. Well, I'm ok with it, just formal discussion.. I don't care if that makes him horny, afterall just over the phone.
.
We often chat till midnight.. I'm really wondering, married guy staying under same roof with wife, how is he able to chit chat with other girl whole night long? I am just guessing from the wife's Facebook that they are still together because there are still recent family photos posted..
.

This post has been edited by anilin: Nov 21 2020, 10:52 PM
bobowyc
post Nov 21 2020, 08:09 PM

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Better avoid it as early as you can or set a boundary. Its not nice to just go along. Even though he has a family, your own consciousness tells you it is wrong, right? Wondering or not, he is still married...
Ayammachiamboss
post Nov 21 2020, 08:10 PM

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Trying to make you his fwb. What is your question again?
RUI
post Nov 21 2020, 08:21 PM

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QUOTE(Ayammachiamboss @ Nov 21 2020, 08:10 PM)
Trying to make you his fwb. What is your question again?
*
I think i'm horny too. But my conscience tells me it's wrong. What should I do? laugh.gif
g5sim
post Nov 21 2020, 08:21 PM

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QUOTE(anilin @ Nov 21 2020, 08:03 PM)
Few months ago one of my classmate (online course thingy) text me personally to ask about serious matter.  It was just normal chat once a while.
.
After 1 month, he suddenly addresses me Lenglui, and started other topics but I consider it as casual chat, we often exchange lunch photos, etc.. Few times he would ask whether got miss him or not? I avoided these kind of questions most time. I found his profile in facebook and happened to know he's married with a son somemore. He's younger than me 4 years but he lied about his age, and status too. Guess that's common.
.
We talked in phone before for like only 1 minute, and video call for 2 minutes.
.
Lately he suddenly likes to bring up xxx topics. Well, I'm ok with it, just formal discussion.. I don't care if that makes him horny, afterall just over the phone.
.
We often chat till midnight.. I'm really wondering, married guy staying under same roof with wife, how is he able to chit chat with other girl whole night long?  I am just guessing from the wife's Facebook that they are still together because there are still recent family photos posted..
.
*

you mean married chatting with other aunties??

guess0410
post Nov 21 2020, 08:37 PM

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QUOTE(bobowyc @ Nov 21 2020, 08:09 PM)
Better avoid it as early as you can or set a boundary. Its not nice to just go along. Even though he has a family, your own consciousness tells you it is wrong, right? Wondering or not, he is still married...
*
This... Just imagine, when you married next time.. Would you like your husband to do the same too? And what you would expect the other female to do..
If the wife is a quick tempered.. and she found out, be prepared to have a nice drama with her on the busy road side / office.


TSanilin
post Nov 21 2020, 08:39 PM

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QUOTE(g5sim @ Nov 21 2020, 08:21 PM)
you mean married chatting with other aunties??
*
.
Haha. late 30s considered aunties ya? Still single and hot yo.
ketnave
post Nov 21 2020, 08:46 PM

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QUOTE(anilin @ Nov 21 2020, 08:39 PM)
.
Haha. late 30s considered aunties ya? Still single and hot yo.
*
According to /k/, yes ...
galecsys
post Nov 21 2020, 09:00 PM

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QUOTE(anilin @ Nov 21 2020, 08:39 PM)
.
Haha. late 30s considered aunties ya? Still single and hot yo.
*
the things is do you view him as attractive?

do women talk horny stuffs with men whom they feel not attractive enough?
Captain89
post Nov 21 2020, 09:15 PM

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QUOTE(anilin @ Nov 21 2020, 08:39 PM)
.
Haha. late 30s considered aunties ya? Still single and hot yo.
*
Just ignore him, later he blame you for their family problem
Ayammachiamboss
post Nov 21 2020, 09:25 PM

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QUOTE(RUI @ Nov 21 2020, 08:21 PM)
I think i'm horny too. But my conscience tells me it's wrong. What should I do?  laugh.gif
*
If the guy's single go for it. If he's not then there are many other single horny guys
waghyu
post Nov 21 2020, 09:28 PM

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QUOTE(anilin @ Nov 21 2020, 08:03 PM)
Few months ago one of my classmate (online course thingy) text me personally to ask about serious matter.  It was just normal chat once a while.
.
After 1 month, he suddenly addresses me Lenglui, and started other topics but I consider it as casual chat, we often exchange lunch photos, etc.. Few times he would ask whether got miss him or not? I avoided these kind of questions most time. I found his profile in facebook and happened to know he's married with a son somemore. He's younger than me 4 years but he lied about his age, and status too. Guess that's common.
.
We talked in phone before for like only 1 minute, and video call for 2 minutes.
.
Lately he suddenly likes to bring up xxx topics. Well, I'm ok with it, just formal discussion.. I don't care if that makes him horny, afterall just over the phone.
.
We often chat till midnight.. I'm really wondering, married guy staying under same roof with wife, how is he able to chit chat with other girl whole night long?  I am just guessing from the wife's Facebook that they are still together because there are still recent family photos posted..
.
*
can he make you happy?
TSanilin
post Nov 21 2020, 09:31 PM

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QUOTE(waghyu @ Nov 21 2020, 09:28 PM)
can he make you happy?
*
.
He will share to me many info and case studies related to our field of studies.. Helped in my academic somehow...but he seems got other intention behind the sharing.
waghyu
post Nov 21 2020, 09:36 PM

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QUOTE(anilin @ Nov 21 2020, 09:31 PM)
.
He will share to me many info and case studies related to our field of studies.. Helped in my academic somehow...but he seems got other intention behind the sharing.
*
Owh you guys doing some masters?

Maybe he want another women in his life, of just want to play with u. What do you think? You like trouble in life?
Blofeld
post Nov 21 2020, 09:54 PM

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is he someone who can marry four times?

if yes, then maybe he's looking for a second wife.

if no, then he's looking for a fling.
RUI
post Nov 21 2020, 10:53 PM

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What he wants to do is moot.

What are you doing here and going to do is what's important.

If you are here to gauge how people feel about homewrecker; my stand is always the one cheating at fault. I don't think buying stolen good as accomplice applies. But still, majority will despise you.
TSanilin
post Nov 21 2020, 11:04 PM

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QUOTE(RUI @ Nov 21 2020, 10:53 PM)
What he wants to do is moot.

What are you doing here and going to do is what's important.

If you are here to gauge how people feel about homewrecker; my stand is always the one cheating at fault. I don't think buying stolen good as accomplice applies. But still, majority will despise you.
*
.
.
I'm thinking about quit talking to him, but somehow I feel I need him for some advantages in my academic. Are we taking advantages of each other?
squallexexex
post Nov 21 2020, 11:43 PM

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Take away the assumption that love is mutually exclusive and you are all good.
RUI
post Nov 22 2020, 12:10 AM

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QUOTE(anilin @ Nov 21 2020, 11:04 PM)
.
.
I'm thinking about quit talking to him, but somehow I feel I need him for some advantages in my academic. Are we taking advantages of each other?
*
You see...A boss that always brings the secretary out for fancy dinner. When people ask why? Answer will "it's because she work hard for my company and I think it's only fair to bring her out dinner as gesture of appreciation (u appreciate her tit when she dressed in low cut you horny bastard)". When people ask, "Can your wife join?". Typical @sshole boss will be, "cannot laaaaaaa...She needs to take care of the kids at home". What a big pile of b*llshit. Taking care of ur kids is not ur job also mer? laugh.gif

A good question to ask is if you are rationalizing ur "horniness"... laugh.gif
What so special about his "academic help" that google can't do a better job?
If yes, just go sleep with him la. Talk so much for what? confused.gif
Just make sure ur assignment are done and academic term is over with enough gap in between.

» Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «

wangpr
post Nov 22 2020, 04:08 AM

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QUOTE(anilin @ Nov 21 2020, 08:03 PM)
Few months ago one of my classmate (online course thingy) text me personally to ask about serious matter.  It was just normal chat once a while.
.
After 1 month, he suddenly addresses me Lenglui, and started other topics but I consider it as casual chat, we often exchange lunch photos, etc.. Few times he would ask whether got miss him or not? I avoided these kind of questions most time. I found his profile in facebook and happened to know he's married with a son somemore. He's younger than me 4 years but he lied about his age, and status too. Guess that's common.
.
We talked in phone before for like only 1 minute, and video call for 2 minutes.
.

He will share to me many info and case studies related to our field of studies.. Helped in my academic somehow...but he seems got other intention behind the sharing.

.
Lately he suddenly likes to bring up xxx topics. Well, I'm ok with it, just formal discussion.. I don't care if that makes him horny, afterall just over the phone.
.
We often chat till midnight.. I'm really wondering, married guy staying under same roof with wife, how is he able to chit chat with other girl whole night long?  I am just guessing from the wife's Facebook that they are still together because there are still recent family photos posted..
.
*
Because his wife too boring and a full time housewife already. So she already lost the aura of a gf lifestyle.....


ck_boon
post Nov 22 2020, 04:29 AM

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u said u try to avoid but u sendiri mau chat dengan dia sampai tengah malam
halo u know him dah kahwin right? why u still play fire?
either delete him ignore or stay continue become third party lor
there is no such thing as become just frend
btw i know u also boring
TSanilin
post Nov 22 2020, 07:43 AM

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QUOTE(ck_boon @ Nov 22 2020, 04:29 AM)
u said u try to avoid but u sendiri mau chat dengan dia sampai tengah malam
halo u know him dah kahwin right? why u still play fire?
either delete him ignore or stay continue become third party lor
there is no such thing as become just frend
btw i know u also boring
*
I'm just guessing...as he never admitted he's attached though i keep asking.... I'm only seeing from Facebook.

This post has been edited by anilin: Nov 22 2020, 07:43 AM
uk15029
post Nov 22 2020, 07:45 AM

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Why you want to chat with married guy?

Stop it
TSanilin
post Nov 22 2020, 08:14 AM

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QUOTE(uk15029 @ Nov 22 2020, 07:45 AM)
Why you want to chat with married guy?

Stop it
*
.
1. 80% of the time we are talking about academics stuff.
2. He doesnt admit he's married. Takkan I so Kehpo go korek his FB and ask him?
3. We don't share Facebook or other social media.

uk15029
post Nov 22 2020, 09:49 AM

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QUOTE(anilin @ Nov 22 2020, 09:14 AM)
.
1. 80% of the time we are talking about academics stuff.
2. He doesnt admit he's married. Takkan I so Kehpo go korek his FB and ask him?
3. We don't share Facebook or other social media.
*
20% is XXX stuff?
Block him and move on
He is married...
cfa28
post Nov 22 2020, 09:49 AM

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So what is your intention.

Do you want to be more than just academic support friends

Btw, a man will not chat with another woman for so long without some intentions other than just supporting a fellow course mate


Just ask him.. Are you married

If he says no, send him his photos with his wife and family

Tell him that you don't want his wife to misunderstand your relationship



Takudan
post Nov 22 2020, 10:08 AM

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QUOTE(anilin @ Nov 22 2020, 08:14 AM)
.
1. 80% of the time we are talking about academics stuff.
2. He doesnt admit he's married. Takkan I so Kehpo go korek his FB and ask him?
3. We don't share Facebook or other social media.
*
That's an odd answer to that question... Are you trying to justify yourself talking to a married man? That "I technically don't know because he never told me, and therefore I'm not at fault"? How are you holding up inside?

It doesn't sound like you're in love or got deep into him so pull out while you still can la. Karma is a bitch
jasonlim
post Nov 22 2020, 10:27 AM

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U are trying to twist and turn

And justify your wrong doing to chat with a married man
notestonoone P
post Nov 22 2020, 11:11 AM

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I'm gonna be the devil's advocate here. There is nothing wrong talking to a guy, married or otherwise.
WaCKy-Angel
post Nov 22 2020, 11:22 AM

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QUOTE(anilin @ Nov 21 2020, 08:03 PM)
Few months ago one of my classmate (online course thingy) text me personally to ask about serious matter.  It was just normal chat once a while.
.
After 1 month, he suddenly addresses me Lenglui, and started other topics but I consider it as casual chat, we often exchange lunch photos, etc.. Few times he would ask whether got miss him or not? I avoided these kind of questions most time. I found his profile in facebook and happened to know he's married with a son somemore. He's younger than me 4 years but he lied about his age, and status too. Guess that's common.
.
We talked in phone before for like only 1 minute, and video call for 2 minutes.
.

He will share to me many info and case studies related to our field of studies.. Helped in my academic somehow...but he seems got other intention behind the sharing.

.
Lately he suddenly likes to bring up xxx topics. Well, I'm ok with it, just formal discussion.. I don't care if that makes him horny, afterall just over the phone.
.
We often chat till midnight.. I'm really wondering, married guy staying under same roof with wife, how is he able to chit chat with other girl whole night long?  I am just guessing from the wife's Facebook that they are still together because there are still recent family photos posted..
.
*
QUOTE(anilin @ Nov 22 2020, 08:14 AM)
.
1. 80% of the time we are talking about academics stuff.
2. He doesnt admit he's married. Takkan I so Kehpo go korek his FB and ask him?
3. We don't share Facebook or other social media.
*
I'm guessing he is probably not looking fugly, good sweet talker, perhaps a little rich too.

No worries just continue what u doing sooner or later u will think kissing is ok too, and then more and more ok things too.

Anyway what's ur question again?
Vrese
post Nov 22 2020, 11:34 AM

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QUOTE(anilin @ Nov 21 2020, 11:04 PM)
.
.
I'm thinking about quit talking to him, but somehow I feel I need him for some advantages in my academic. Are we taking advantages of each other?
*
From what I read it is you who taking advantage of him unless you satisfy his horny then you can say you both taking advantage of each other
g5sim
post Nov 22 2020, 12:19 PM

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QUOTE(anilin @ Nov 21 2020, 08:39 PM)
.
Haha. late 30s considered aunties ya? Still single and hot yo.
*
Haha. Bagus. Liking the confidence!
zt19
post Nov 22 2020, 01:13 PM

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I once matched with a pilot on Tinder and we met up twice but everything was very platonic (he was a nice guy and there weren’t any xxx talk at all). One day, he sent me a photo of him with his crew mates and I spot a wedding ring so I asked if he’s married. He didn’t deny and said yes.

After that, I stopped talking to him already. Why bother? I hope you’d stop talking to him too before any damage is done!


Blofeld
post Nov 22 2020, 02:36 PM

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QUOTE(Vrese @ Nov 22 2020, 11:34 AM)
From what I read it is you who taking advantage of him unless you satisfy his horny then you can say you both taking advantage of each other
*
+1

he's the one at the losing end because he didnt gain anything yet biggrin.gif

while TS got all the advantage from the academic assistance.
TSanilin
post Nov 22 2020, 02:39 PM

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QUOTE(Blofeld @ Nov 22 2020, 02:36 PM)
+1

he's the one at the losing end because he didnt gain anything yet  biggrin.gif

while TS got all the advantage from the academic assistance.
*
He got to see my pretty photos and 20% of our chat topics should be able to turn him on.
TSanilin
post Nov 22 2020, 02:42 PM

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QUOTE(jasonlim @ Nov 22 2020, 10:27 AM)
U are trying to twist and turn

And justify your wrong doing to chat with a married man
*
Problem is he never admitted though I asked few times. He said he's single. Therefore I'm wondering, if married with wife and kid around, able to hook on phone till late night?
1mr3tard3d
post Nov 22 2020, 03:00 PM

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QUOTE(anilin @ Nov 21 2020, 08:03 PM)
he would ask whether got miss him or not?
*
this is entrée
QUOTE(anilin @ Nov 21 2020, 08:03 PM)
Lately he suddenly likes to bring up xxx topics.
*
this is common for gauging the advancement / further action from your response
(e.g. a physical contact will probably start by touching hand, from you reaction, then maybe it could end up in other parts)
i bet the next thing he would do is asking to meet in person

QUOTE(anilin @ Nov 21 2020, 08:03 PM)
He will share to me many info and case studies related to our field of studies.. Helped in my academic somehow...

We often chat till midnight.. I'm really wondering, married guy staying under same roof with wife, how is he able to chit chat with other girl whole night long?
*
good effort there
TSanilin
post Nov 22 2020, 03:37 PM

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QUOTE(1mr3tard3d @ Nov 22 2020, 03:00 PM)
this is entrée

this is common for gauging the advancement / further action from your response
(e.g. a physical contact will probably start by touching hand, from you reaction, then maybe it could end up in other parts)
i bet the next thing he would do is asking to meet in person
good effort there
*
We are unable to meet, probably never. Too far apart. Different states.

We don't even have each others contact numbers. Chatting via Wechat with hidden profile somemore.
Amethyst303
post Nov 22 2020, 03:58 PM

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TS

He's looking for a cheap thrill, in the midst of this pandemic. Can't do anything physical, so looking for something else to bring some excitement to his life.

He clearly wants to deceive you, because he keeps saying he is single. How does he chat throughout the night? Easy, he just says he is doing his assignment/work.

The point is, he is definitely lying. To you and to his wife.

If you need his input to finish up the assignment/course, then keep it to that. Don't be surprised he will MIA one day.
Endeavour
post Nov 22 2020, 04:45 PM

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Just set your own internal boundaries, TS.. but it's really best to keep it minimal in case it grows into something ugly.
Vrese
post Nov 22 2020, 04:53 PM

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QUOTE(anilin @ Nov 22 2020, 02:39 PM)
He got to see my pretty photos and 20% of our chat topics should be able to turn him on.
*
You let the starving man look & smell the food but not let him eat. I wouldn't call that as a gain. You just make him wanting to eat even more
Sasuke95
post Nov 22 2020, 08:04 PM

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you enjoyed the attention he gave, it further developed when he actually helped with your academics.

when he moved on to xxx topic, usually the first response from girl is to get disgusted or worst block the male altogether, but you told yourself is ok with it

knowing his background, consciously you know this is a bad idea, but subconsciously you want him badly, you want the thrill he can give, the vitamin D you crave, you still entertain him and not cut him off like any sane person would do

now go, go for the love you wanted, separate him from his wife, and live a life happily ever after
bobowyc
post Nov 22 2020, 10:30 PM

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QUOTE(guess0410 @ Nov 21 2020, 08:37 PM)
This... Just imagine, when you married next time.. Would you like your husband to do the same too? And what you would expect the other female to do.. 
If the wife is a quick tempered.. and she found out, be prepared to have a nice drama with her on the busy road side / office.
*
thumbsup.gif
TSanilin
post Nov 23 2020, 12:06 AM

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QUOTE(bobowyc @ Nov 22 2020, 10:30 PM)
:thumbsup:
*
I'm seriously not sure what's his marriage status. He never admitted he's married and Facebook only show some family pictures.

achong09
post Nov 23 2020, 05:40 AM

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QUOTE(anilin @ Nov 21 2020, 08:03 PM)
Few months ago one of my classmate (online course thingy) text me personally to ask about serious matter.  It was just normal chat once a while.
.
After 1 month, he suddenly addresses me Lenglui, and started other topics but I consider it as casual chat, we often exchange lunch photos, etc.. Few times he would ask whether got miss him or not? I avoided these kind of questions most time. I found his profile in facebook and happened to know he's married with a son somemore. He's younger than me 4 years but he lied about his age, and status too. Guess that's common.
.
We talked in phone before for like only 1 minute, and video call for 2 minutes.
.

He will share to me many info and case studies related to our field of studies.. Helped in my academic somehow...but he seems got other intention behind the sharing.

.
Lately he suddenly likes to bring up xxx topics. Well, I'm ok with it, just formal discussion.. I don't care if that makes him horny, afterall just over the phone.
.
We often chat till midnight.. I'm really wondering, married guy staying under same roof with wife, how is he able to chit chat with other girl whole night long?  I am just guessing from the wife's Facebook that they are still together because there are still recent family photos posted..
.
*
Hahha you sound familair.. hmm
achong09
post Nov 23 2020, 05:42 AM

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QUOTE(anilin @ Nov 22 2020, 03:37 PM)
We are unable to meet, probably never. Too far apart. Different states. 

We don't even have each others contact numbers.  Chatting via Wechat with hidden profile somemore.
*
Wah can i chat with u like this also?
windvind
post Nov 23 2020, 09:22 AM

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QUOTE(anilin @ Nov 22 2020, 08:14 AM)
.
1. 80% of the time we are talking about academics stuff.
2. He doesnt admit he's married. Takkan I so Kehpo go korek his FB and ask him?
3. We don't share Facebook or other social media.
*
TS just a suggestion. If you really want to know if he is single ask him for his FB profile.
Say you prefer talking on there. See his reply.
If he shares with you then you can be quite sure if he is single yourself.
There is a chance that is his ex-wife or planning a divorce. So, its not wrong to say he is single.

As a guy myself, i know of a few friends just throw bait everywhere hopping to catch a innocent or clueless person who bites.
From what i read from the first page is that you might be someone that very busy and does not have time to met many people. This someone praising and flirting with you is making you happy. I presume you are a doctor in a hospital. (I might be wrong)

What you are craving is not love but attention from someone to give you physical validation especially from him who is a smart, more accomplish person than you at the moment.
Just dont cross the line until he is fully honest, if anything you will be breaking 4 hearts. Your own, his wife, him and their kid.

This post has been edited by windvind: Nov 23 2020, 11:22 AM
andrekua2
post Nov 23 2020, 09:56 AM

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Hi Lenglui...

Can I start a chat as well? LOL...

Anyway, the only reason I call girls lenglui is when I wanna feel like we are close due to work (not colleagues) but not bothered enough to remember their names.
McFD2R
post Nov 23 2020, 10:56 AM

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After 3 pages, I still don't see what TS is actually asking. It seems she likes the attention. So, she thinks it is ok to entertain the fella's XXX comments. A rationale person will not entertain a married person.

The fact that she is justifying why she should continue shows she isn't rationale. There are other academicians out there who can assist, not to mention Mr. Google.

Thus, all her post in here is just seek acceptance from the internet of what she is doing.
TSanilin
post Nov 23 2020, 02:48 PM

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QUOTE(achong09 @ Nov 23 2020, 05:40 AM)
Hahha you sound familair.. hmm
*
Why say so?
achong09
post Nov 23 2020, 03:10 PM

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QUOTE(anilin @ Nov 23 2020, 02:48 PM)
Why say so?
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hmm... you figure out la.. hahhaa
i think i knwo you hahaha
Blofeld
post Nov 23 2020, 03:59 PM

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QUOTE(anilin @ Nov 22 2020, 02:39 PM)
He got to see my pretty photos and 20% of our chat topics should be able to turn him on.
*
What academic assistance and resources do you need?

I can also help to give you biggrin.gif
TSanilin
post Nov 23 2020, 04:04 PM

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QUOTE(achong09 @ Nov 23 2020, 03:10 PM)
hmm... you figure out la.. hahhaa
i think i knwo you hahaha
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Hi my Ex Boyfriend. How have you been doing? Jealous huh?
bobowyc
post Nov 23 2020, 08:10 PM

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QUOTE(anilin @ Nov 23 2020, 12:06 AM)
I'm seriously not sure what's his marriage status. He never admitted he's married and Facebook only show some family pictures.
*
All the more fishy character. But anyway, its your choice. Just remember that what you do will have their own set of consequences if you were to continue it like this. But if you end it, maybe the right one pops up. smile.gif xD hahaha xD
achong09
post Nov 24 2020, 09:04 AM

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QUOTE(anilin @ Nov 23 2020, 04:04 PM)
Hi my Ex Boyfriend. How have you been doing? Jealous huh?
*
hhahaha.... why u ignore me all this while leh?? sad.gif
Amethyst303
post Nov 24 2020, 10:03 AM

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And the plot deepens with the emergence of an ex bf....

*takes popcorn*
TSanilin
post Nov 25 2020, 12:54 AM

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QUOTE(achong09 @ Nov 24 2020, 09:04 AM)
hhahaha.... why u ignore me all this while leh?? sad.gif
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Because I busy with this married man...
achong09
post Nov 25 2020, 07:14 AM

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QUOTE(anilin @ Nov 25 2020, 12:54 AM)
Because I busy with this married man...
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wah lau wei... why u like married man meh?
mrdokok
post Nov 25 2020, 07:18 AM

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dont play with fire..everything will burn..everything
Buffalo Soldier
post Nov 25 2020, 07:27 AM

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predict gonna be a lot of crosstalk in this thread :-D
TSanilin
post Nov 25 2020, 01:36 PM

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QUOTE(achong09 @ Nov 25 2020, 07:14 AM)
wah lau wei... why u like married man meh?
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What should I do now?
MasBoleh!
post Nov 25 2020, 01:58 PM

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QUOTE(anilin @ Nov 25 2020, 01:36 PM)
What should I do now?
*
Find single man. Here got a lot
sweet_pez
post Nov 25 2020, 03:20 PM

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QUOTE(anilin @ Nov 21 2020, 09:31 PM)
.
He will share to me many info and case studies related to our field of studies.. Helped in my academic somehow...but he seems got other intention behind the sharing.
*
QUOTE(anilin @ Nov 21 2020, 11:04 PM)
.
.
I'm thinking about quit talking to him, but somehow I feel I need him for some advantages in my academic. Are we taking advantages of each other?
*
You know what's the situation. There's no free meal in this world. The more you accept favours/ help from him, the more you'll feel compelled to reciprocate - meaning, to accept or agree to the "simple" things he ask of you.

I'm sure you can find someone else to help with your Academics. Pretty sure you don't need him. Part of you wanted to cling on him for some reason, and imo, using academics as an excuse maybe? Imagine if he didn't appear in your life at all. How would you handle your Academics? Are you going to flunk it?

If you can sense the other person has ulterior motive and yet, you still accept his help/ favour and advances, then it's obvious what road you have chosen.

Otherwise if you're really not interested,
- just cut down the chatting and go straight to academics
- whenever he flirts, just avoid it and divert straight back to main topic
- reduce the frequency of chatting with him
- show that you're disinterested in his advances
- turn him down
- discourage whenever he makes a move
- lastly, casually point out that he's married with kids and that he should stop all these flings for the sake of his family

IpohGuyz
post Nov 25 2020, 05:23 PM

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ts obviously finding people to validate her actions in case something does happen between her and the guy and she wont feel bad about it.

the moment that guy flirt/xxx chat and ts selamba saja, means anything can happen in future.
cfa28
post Nov 25 2020, 06:19 PM

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QUOTE(sweet_pez @ Nov 25 2020, 03:20 PM)


Otherwise if you're really not interested,
- just cut down the chatting and go straight to academics
- whenever he flirts, just avoid it and divert straight back to main topic
- reduce the frequency of chatting with him
- show that you're disinterested in his advances
*
But its so obvious that TS is interested

But anyway seems there are different state and so long as they don't meet up for a fling.. It's just all talk and no action so does not consider as affairs
tomato people
post Nov 25 2020, 06:22 PM

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He is trying his luck with TS


sweet_pez
post Nov 25 2020, 06:28 PM

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QUOTE(cfa28 @ Nov 25 2020, 06:19 PM)
But its so obvious that TS is interested

But anyway seems there are different state and so long as they don't meet up for a fling.. It's just all talk and no action so does not consider as affairs
*
On this... there are different school of thoughts imo.

Some feel that emotionally involved is also considered cheating. Example, even if they couldn't meet physically and be intimate, doing so over the phone (flirting, love talk) etc emotionally - it's also cheating. So whether she flirted back or not - only TS will know. On the other hand, whether the guy misinterpreted her friendliess or took advantage of TS's situation - this is another question mark.

Also, my suspicion only... TS may not have been entirely honest about the situation. Probably start to feel some sort of guilt that the guy has a family, and yet, still somewhat interested in him.
TSanilin
post Nov 26 2020, 08:16 AM

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QUOTE(sweet_pez @ Nov 25 2020, 06:28 PM)
On this... there are different school of thoughts imo.

Some feel that emotionally involved is also considered cheating. Example, even if they couldn't meet physically and be intimate, doing so over the phone (flirting, love talk) etc emotionally - it's also cheating. So whether she flirted back or not - only TS will know. On the other hand, whether the guy misinterpreted her friendliess or took advantage of TS's situation - this is another question mark.

Also, my suspicion only... TS may not have been entirely honest about the situation. Probably start to feel some sort of guilt that the guy has a family, and yet, still somewhat interested in him.
*
Ya true.. I flirted back and advanced.. He videocall me mostly in the afternoon but i only answered couple of times. Yeap, he asked for more, horny talk, etc.. Then same time he could switch back to serious topics about our academics.. Partly I'm attracted to him also he's good looking. Well he did admit he's "naughty" and often look for flings and flirts.... I am wondering whether he gonna confess his status or not someday. I stalked his FB he got post his Kid's photos recently...

QUOTE(tomato people @ Nov 25 2020, 06:22 PM)
He is trying his luck with TS
*
True... He approached me back in many months ago.. Only recently he tried his luck further. Previously i dint reject, but he dint advance too! Weird. Probably he got other flings that time.. Well we have been chatting almost everyday for past 4 months..

This post has been edited by anilin: Nov 26 2020, 11:42 AM
godhand
post Nov 26 2020, 08:23 AM

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women chg after marriage. period
IpohGuyz
post Nov 26 2020, 10:00 AM

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Hehe. Ts finally admit she is hoping for fling. See good looking talk hamsap no issue. Faceproblem talk hamsap, ppl will feel disgusting.

At the end of day it depend on your own code of conduct or standard. My code of conduct, never touch married ppl. Many trees out there.
blackpink
post Nov 29 2020, 05:06 AM

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QUOTE(anilin @ Nov 21 2020, 08:39 PM)
.
Haha. late 30s considered aunties ya? Still single and hot yo.
*
kesian 30s still not married yet.
waghyu
post Nov 29 2020, 05:45 AM

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QUOTE(godhand @ Nov 26 2020, 08:23 AM)
women chg after marriage. period
*
expand u mean?
carini
post Nov 29 2020, 10:02 AM

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TS,

U already chat daily with him for 4 months. So, it is very hard for you to stop now. Him being good looking, smart, flirty and you yourself needs help with your study and is loving the attention he giving is not helping you to stop contact with him now.

Just imagine the victims in this situation. His wife and kids. You are playing with fire and u are very clear on this. You really enjoy the thrills and excitement of this game. You can continue doing what u doing now, but pls be clear of the consequence of your action to the innocent victims in this situation.

I very very pity those people who don't know their husband/wife is having affairs (emotionally or physically). They really trust their other half so much. You and him enjoying and got people suffering. Find other single guys. There are plenty of them for u to flirt with.

I know u will continue chatting with him as the bond is already strong. But i hope u know that both of u are causing misery to another woman+ kids.
Drian
post Nov 29 2020, 04:55 PM

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QUOTE(IpohGuyz @ Nov 26 2020, 10:00 AM)
Hehe. Ts finally admit she is hoping for fling. See good looking talk hamsap no issue. Faceproblem talk hamsap, ppl will feel disgusting.

At the end of day it depend on your own code of conduct or standard. My code of conduct, never touch married ppl. Many trees out there.
*
Aberden. LOL

Did you actually think women are innocent and demure ?


TSanilin
post Nov 29 2020, 08:22 PM

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QUOTE(carini @ Nov 29 2020, 10:02 AM)
TS,

U already chat daily with him for 4 months. So, it is very hard for you to stop now. Him being good looking, smart, flirty and you yourself needs help with your study and is loving the attention he giving is not helping you to stop contact with him now.

Just imagine the victims in this situation. His wife and kids. You are playing with fire and u are very clear on this. You really enjoy the thrills and excitement of this game. You can continue doing what u doing now, but pls be clear of the consequence of your action to the innocent victims in this situation.

I very very pity those people who don't know their husband/wife is having affairs (emotionally or physically). They really trust their other half so much. You and him enjoying and got people suffering. Find other single guys. There are plenty of them for u to flirt with.

I know u will continue chatting with him as the bond is already strong. But i hope u know that both of u are causing misery to another woman+ kids.
*
I'm unsure he's still attached to the wife or not.. I asked several times and he still confessed he's single... If he got a wife, how he able to chit chat with girls all the time? Well, he did admit he likes looking for flings and flirts...
We have made it clear too, we will not go further, just academic assistance, assignment partner, same time some flirts to chill out...

carini
post Nov 29 2020, 08:49 PM

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It takes 2 to tango. He likes to flirt and u too love the attention. Really hope he is single and u yet to ask about the kids photo that he posted.

How he able find time to chat with girls all the time? Well, if one wants to cheat, they can and will find the way.

Hope you know when to stop if one day u find out that he is a married man.
ChaosXP
post Dec 1 2020, 10:54 PM

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QUOTE(IpohGuyz @ Nov 26 2020, 10:00 AM)
See good looking talk hamsap no issue. Faceproblem talk hamsap, ppl will feel disgusting.
*
Naturally la. Only the most niche guys will drive 30 miles for this one


» Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «







My guess is TS likes the company, and the flirting, and she has nothing else that is a good catch at the moment or around her that meets her standards.


TSanilin
post Dec 3 2020, 08:22 PM

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QUOTE(ChaosXP @ Dec 1 2020, 10:54 PM)
Naturally la. Only the most niche guys will drive 30 miles for this one
» Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «

My guess is TS likes the company, and the flirting, and she has nothing else that is a good catch at the moment or around her that meets her standards.
*
Probably. Enjoyed the thrill when talking out of topics, once a while, probably once a week only....
But I feel kinda weird that after all the mushy talks, the next moment he could just suddenly be so serious to get back to our academic topis..... I believe he is just horny or just enjoy to tease and get girls attentions.
.
He never asked about my background in fact, where I worked etc.. Wouldn't a guy feel curious who this girl is and wouldnt he go Facebook to stalk me in the first place? However, I assume he had looked me up in Facebook though...

This post has been edited by anilin: Dec 3 2020, 08:25 PM
Blofeld
post Dec 4 2020, 02:40 AM

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QUOTE(blackpink @ Nov 29 2020, 05:06 AM)
kesian 30s still not married yet.
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What if she's married icon_idea.gif
EremesGuile
post Dec 4 2020, 12:31 PM

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QUOTE(anilin @ Dec 3 2020, 08:22 PM)
Probably. Enjoyed the thrill when talking out of topics, once a while, probably once a week only.... 
But I feel kinda weird that after all the mushy talks, the next moment he could just suddenly be so serious to get back to our academic topis.....  I believe he is just horny or just enjoy to tease and get girls attentions.
.
He never asked about my background in fact, where I worked etc.. Wouldn't a guy feel curious who this girl is and wouldnt he go Facebook to stalk me in the first place? However, I assume he had looked me up in Facebook though...
*
There's a lot of assumption can be made.

1. That guy got split personality.
2. Whenever he ask about academic, actually he just deleted the mushy talk. Because his wife check his phone mah.
3. He's a kaki tengok drama one. Trying to act like in drama.
4. Yaa just horny. Hahaha
TSanilin
post Dec 5 2020, 09:22 PM

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QUOTE(EremesGuile @ Dec 4 2020, 12:31 PM)
There's a lot of assumption can be made.

1. That guy got split personality.
2. Whenever he ask about academic, actually he just deleted the mushy talk. Because his wife check his phone mah.[COLOR=blue]
3. He's a kaki tengok drama one. Trying to act like in drama.
4. Yaa just horny. Hahaha
*
Make sense there. Never thought that he might only keep the Academic chatting part in phone.. so he is always safe even wife checking on his phone.
But he could really switches topic damn fast.
.
Just a lil updates, I tried to clarify with the wife whether this guy is still her husband (via FB messenger).. she said it might be Fake Account and that might not be her husband... Of course I wouldn't elaborate more as I had seen him for real via several Video calls sessions. It was really him.
.
Upon confirmations, I had decided not to talk to him anymore... guess that's the end of it.. Would he hate me and sabotage me? I am unsure...


KakiMati
post Dec 6 2020, 05:54 PM

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QUOTE(anilin @ Dec 5 2020, 09:22 PM)
Make sense there. Never thought that he might only keep the Academic chatting part in phone.. so he is always safe even wife checking on his phone.
But he could really switches topic damn fast.
.
Just a lil updates, I tried to clarify with the wife whether this guy is still her husband (via FB messenger).. she said it might be Fake Account and that might not be her husband... Of course I wouldn't elaborate more as I had seen him for real via several Video calls sessions. It was really him.
.
Upon confirmations, I had decided not to talk to him anymore... guess that's the end of it.. Would he hate me and sabotage me? I am unsure...
*
If he hate u and sabotage u for it, blackmail him by threatening to show your conversation with him to his wife haha
Pakatan SinMa Plus
post Dec 6 2020, 08:27 PM

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QUOTE(anilin @ Dec 5 2020, 09:22 PM)
Make sense there. Never thought that he might only keep the Academic chatting part in phone.. so he is always safe even wife checking on his phone.
But he could really switches topic damn fast.
.
Just a lil updates, I tried to clarify with the wife whether this guy is still her husband (via FB messenger).. she said it might be Fake Account and that might not be her husband... Of course I wouldn't elaborate more as I had seen him for real via several Video calls sessions. It was really him.
.
Upon confirmations, I had decided not to talk to him anymore... guess that's the end of it.. Would he hate me and sabotage me? I am unsure...
*
Wife said the man's FB account is fake? Did she say if the photos in the account are true/fake? Sounds so complicated. confused.gif
TSanilin
post Dec 6 2020, 09:37 PM

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QUOTE(Pakatan SinMa Plus @ Dec 6 2020, 08:27 PM)
Wife said the man's FB account is fake? Did she say if the photos in the account are true/fake? Sounds so complicated.  confused.gif
*
She said the one chatting with me (with her husband's profile pic) is fake... rclxub.gif rclxub.gif rclxub.gif rclxub.gif
.
But I am 100% sure the one I am talking to is really her husband... from the Video call I could get a glimpse of their house. It's similar to what the wife posted in FB....
Blofeld
post Dec 7 2020, 10:44 AM

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QUOTE(anilin @ Dec 6 2020, 09:37 PM)
She said the one chatting with me (with her husband's profile pic) is fake...  rclxub.gif  rclxub.gif  rclxub.gif  rclxub.gif
.
But I am 100% sure the one I am talking to is really her husband... from the Video call I could get a glimpse of their house. It's similar to what the wife posted in FB....
*
Maybe is he himself who is also controlling his wife's facebook
notestonoone P
post Dec 7 2020, 11:02 AM

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hmm...is it wise to contact the wife? wouldn't that raise her suspicions?
TSanilin
post Dec 7 2020, 07:31 PM

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QUOTE(notestonoone @ Dec 7 2020, 11:02 AM)
hmm...is it wise to contact the wife? wouldn't that raise her suspicions?
*
.
Probably my intention to. Let the wife be aware.

This post has been edited by anilin: Dec 7 2020, 07:31 PM
waghyu
post Dec 7 2020, 07:47 PM

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QUOTE(anilin @ Dec 7 2020, 07:31 PM)
.
Probably my intention to. Let the wife be aware.
*
Why need to tell wife ? Let them enjoy each other.
itekderp
post Dec 14 2020, 01:48 AM

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QUOTE(anilin @ Dec 5 2020, 09:22 PM)
Make sense there. Never thought that he might only keep the Academic chatting part in phone.. so he is always safe even wife checking on his phone.
But he could really switches topic damn fast.
.
Just a lil updates, I tried to clarify with the wife whether this guy is still her husband (via FB messenger).. she said it might be Fake Account and that might not be her husband... Of course I wouldn't elaborate more as I had seen him for real via several Video calls sessions. It was really him.
.
Upon confirmations, I had decided not to talk to him anymore... guess that's the end of it.. Would he hate me and sabotage me? I am unsure...
*
Shows your infatuation right there, that you’ll take it that far.
As to what the wife said, could be denial or whatever. But your instincts are probably correct, he’s going behind her back.
It’s funny though. I won’t doubt you’re a bit of a catch, but is he really worth it? Sure, academically he’s sound and he’s interesting to keep you around for that long. But the emotional aspect of it bothers me. He won’t admit to being married, such things are red flags that are obvious but you’re willing to overlook. I think if you use your clear mind, you’ll see what his priorities really are. You’ve been smart about these things so far, so why are you slacking now? Take care of your own heart and soul, gal.
Wtf is anilin? And also, hi RUI long time no see mate.
DukeHyou
post Dec 14 2020, 09:09 AM

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QUOTE(RUI @ Nov 21 2020, 08:21 PM)
I think i'm horny too. But my conscience tells me it's wrong. What should I do?  laugh.gif
*
just fuck him already then move on to next meal
TSanilin
post Dec 18 2020, 08:09 PM

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QUOTE(itekderp @ Dec 14 2020, 01:48 AM)
Shows your infatuation right there, that you’ll take it that far.
As to what the wife said, could be denial or whatever. But your instincts are probably correct, he’s going behind her back.
It’s funny though. I won’t doubt you’re a bit of a catch, but is he really worth it? Sure, academically he’s sound and he’s interesting to keep you around for that long. But the emotional aspect of it bothers me. He won’t admit to being married, such things are red flags that are obvious but you’re willing to overlook. I think if you use your clear mind, you’ll see what his priorities really are. You’ve been smart about these things so far, so why are you slacking now? Take care of your own heart and soul, gal.
Wtf is anilin? And also, hi RUI long time no see mate.
*
Ya.. We haven't communicated to each other since past 10 days.. Just died off. Probably the wife asked him about me. I hope he had deleted or clear up our chat log, otherwise the wife would get real hurt..
If I were the wife, I really don't know how can I handle such situation...
TSanilin
post Dec 19 2020, 07:37 PM

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QUOTE(Danq @ Dec 19 2020, 04:50 PM)
Better avoid it as early as you can or set a boundary. Its not nice to just go along
*
yes.. avoided... but subconscious part of my mind keeps making me have the urge to expose this jerk to the wife... arrggg...
itekderp
post Dec 19 2020, 07:53 PM

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QUOTE(anilin @ Dec 18 2020, 08:09 PM)
Ya.. We haven't communicated to each other since past 10 days.. Just died off. Probably the wife asked him about me. I hope he had deleted or clear up our chat log, otherwise the wife would get real hurt..
If I were the wife, I really don't know how can I handle such situation...
*
Still, what’s an anilin? Is that your name or something
itekderp
post Dec 19 2020, 07:54 PM

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QUOTE(anilin @ Dec 19 2020, 07:37 PM)
yes.. avoided... but subconscious part of my mind keeps making me have the urge to expose this jerk to the wife... arrggg...
*
Why? Did you feel played?
TSanilin
post Dec 19 2020, 08:00 PM

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QUOTE(itekderp @ Dec 19 2020, 07:53 PM)
Still, what’s an anilin? Is that your name or something
*
Aniline (Anilin) is an organic compound with the formula C6H5NH2. Consisting of a phenyl group attached to an amino group, aniline is the simplest aromatic amine. It is an industrially significant commodity chemical, as well as a versatile starting material for fine chemical synthesis. Its main use is in the manufacture of precursors to polyurethane, dyes, and other industrial chemicals. Like most volatile amines, it has the odor of rotten fish. It ignites readily, burning with a smoky flame characteristic of aromatic compounds.

Chemically, it is considered an electron-rich benzene derivative, and as a consequence, reacts rapidly in electrophilic aromatic substitution reactions. Likewise, it is also prone to oxidation: while freshly purified aniline is an almost colorless oil, exposure to air results in gradual darkening of the sample (to yellow or red) due to the formation of strongly colored, oxidized impurities. Aniline can be diazotized to give a diazonium salt, which can then undergo various nucleophilic substitution reactions.

Like other amines, aniline is a base (pKaH = 4.6) and nucleophile, although it is a weaker base and poorer nucleophile than structurally similar aliphatic amines.

In the late 19th century, derivatives of aniline such as acetanilide and phenacetin emerged as analgesic drugs, with their cardiac-suppressive side effects often countered with caffeine.[28] During the first decade of the 20th century, while trying to modify synthetic dyes to treat African sleeping sickness, Paul Ehrlich – who had coined the term chemotherapy for his magic bullet approach to medicine – failed and switched to modifying Béchamp's atoxyl, the first organic arsenical drug, and serendipitously obtained a treatment for syphilis – salvarsan – the first successful chemotherapy agent. Salvarsan's targeted microorganism, not yet recognized as a bacterium, was still thought to be a parasite, and medical bacteriologists, believing that bacteria were not susceptible to the chemotherapeutic approach, overlooked Alexander Fleming's report in 1928 on the effects of penicillin.

In 1932, Bayer sought medical applications of its dyes. Gerhard Domagk identified as an antibacterial a red azo dye, introduced in 1935 as the first antibacterial drug, prontosil, soon found at Pasteur Institute to be a prodrug degraded in vivo into sulfanilamide – a colorless intermediate for many, highly colorfast azo dyes – already with an expired patent, synthesized in 1908 in Vienna by the researcher Paul Gelmo for his doctoral research.[29] By the 1940s, over 500 related sulfa drugs were produced.[29] Medications in high demand during World War II (1939–45), these first miracle drugs, chemotherapy of wide effectiveness, propelled the American pharmaceutics industry.[30] In 1939, at Oxford University, seeking an alternative to sulfa drugs, Howard Florey developed Fleming's penicillin into the first systemic antibiotic drug, penicillin G. (Gramicidin, developed by René Dubos at Rockefeller Institute in 1939, was the first antibiotic, yet its toxicity restricted it to topical use.) After World War II, Cornelius P. Rhoads introduced the chemotherapeutic approach to cancer treatment.


QUOTE(itekderp @ Dec 19 2020, 07:54 PM)
Why? Did you feel played?
*
YES.....

This post has been edited by anilin: Dec 19 2020, 08:01 PM
itekderp
post Dec 19 2020, 10:29 PM

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QUOTE(anilin @ Dec 19 2020, 08:00 PM)
Aniline (Anilin) is an organic compound with the formula C6H5NH2. Consisting of a phenyl group attached to an amino group, aniline is the simplest aromatic amine. It is an industrially significant commodity chemical, as well as a versatile starting material for fine chemical synthesis. Its main use is in the manufacture of precursors to polyurethane, dyes, and other industrial chemicals. Like most volatile amines, it has the odor of rotten fish. It ignites readily, burning with a smoky flame characteristic of aromatic compounds.

Chemically, it is considered an electron-rich benzene derivative, and as a consequence, reacts rapidly in electrophilic aromatic substitution reactions. Likewise, it is also prone to oxidation: while freshly purified aniline is an almost colorless oil, exposure to air results in gradual darkening of the sample (to yellow or red) due to the formation of strongly colored, oxidized impurities. Aniline can be diazotized to give a diazonium salt, which can then undergo various nucleophilic substitution reactions.

Like other amines, aniline is a base (pKaH = 4.6) and nucleophile, although it is a weaker base and poorer nucleophile than structurally similar aliphatic amines.

In the late 19th century, derivatives of aniline such as acetanilide and phenacetin emerged as analgesic drugs, with their cardiac-suppressive side effects often countered with caffeine.[28] During the first decade of the 20th century, while trying to modify synthetic dyes to treat African sleeping sickness, Paul Ehrlich – who had coined the term chemotherapy for his magic bullet approach to medicine – failed and switched to modifying Béchamp's atoxyl, the first organic arsenical drug, and serendipitously obtained a treatment for syphilis – salvarsan – the first successful chemotherapy agent. Salvarsan's targeted microorganism, not yet recognized as a bacterium, was still thought to be a parasite, and medical bacteriologists, believing that bacteria were not susceptible to the chemotherapeutic approach, overlooked Alexander Fleming's report in 1928 on the effects of penicillin.

In 1932, Bayer sought medical applications of its dyes. Gerhard Domagk identified as an antibacterial a red azo dye, introduced in 1935 as the first antibacterial drug, prontosil, soon found at Pasteur Institute to be a prodrug degraded in vivo into sulfanilamide – a colorless intermediate for many, highly colorfast azo dyes – already with an expired patent, synthesized in 1908 in Vienna by the researcher Paul Gelmo for his doctoral research.[29] By the 1940s, over 500 related sulfa drugs were produced.[29] Medications in high demand during World War II (1939–45), these first miracle drugs, chemotherapy of wide effectiveness, propelled the American pharmaceutics industry.[30] In 1939, at Oxford University, seeking an alternative to sulfa drugs, Howard Florey developed Fleming's penicillin into the first systemic antibiotic drug, penicillin G. (Gramicidin, developed by René Dubos at Rockefeller Institute in 1939, was the first antibiotic, yet its toxicity restricted it to topical use.) After World War II, Cornelius P. Rhoads introduced the chemotherapeutic approach to cancer treatment.
YES.....
*
So you named yourself after a compound which can be synthesized into a cure for syphilis. You probably copied that from wiki, but interesting read nevertheless. You like chemistry?
Why do you feel betrayed? Did he mislead you or did your own expectations did? By what percentage?
Rebecca2000
post Dec 19 2020, 10:45 PM

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QUOTE(anilin @ Nov 21 2020, 08:03 PM)
Few months ago one of my classmate (online course thingy) text me personally to ask about serious matter.  It was just normal chat once a while.
.
After 1 month, he suddenly addresses me Lenglui, and started other topics but I consider it as casual chat, we often exchange lunch photos, etc.. Few times he would ask whether got miss him or not? I avoided these kind of questions most time. I found his profile in facebook and happened to know he's married with a son somemore. He's younger than me 4 years but he lied about his age, and status too. Guess that's common.
.
We talked in phone before for like only 1 minute, and video call for 2 minutes.
.

He will share to me many info and case studies related to our field of studies.. Helped in my academic somehow...but he seems got other intention behind the sharing.

.
Lately he suddenly likes to bring up xxx topics. Well, I'm ok with it, just formal discussion.. I don't care if that makes him horny, afterall just over the phone.
.
We often chat till midnight.. I'm really wondering, married guy staying under same roof with wife, how is he able to chit chat with other girl whole night long?  I am just guessing from the wife's Facebook that they are still together because there are still recent family photos posted..
.
*
I think flirtatious chats are part of everyday life, but as many have pointed out, it can easily stray into dangerous territory with a married man.

Saw how you let it die off, respect you for taking that course of action smile.gif
TSanilin
post Dec 19 2020, 11:54 PM

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QUOTE(itekderp @ Dec 19 2020, 10:29 PM)
So you named yourself after a compound which can be synthesized into a cure for syphilis. You probably copied that from wiki, but interesting read nevertheless. You like chemistry?
Why do you feel betrayed? Did he mislead you or did your own expectations did? By what percentage?
*
I hardly recall why I registered with this chemical name, probably I was crashing my head with this subject back then, well more than a decade ago...
.
Honestly I feel I developed sort of emotional dependency.. And also I'd lost some academic assistance...
In fact, he didn't respond to my last text and well it Just died off until now.. I do expect he would look for me, but nope he didnt. Well, another jerk all I can say. By what percentage? 30-40% maybe.

This post has been edited by anilin: Dec 20 2020, 12:07 AM
TSanilin
post Dec 20 2020, 12:09 AM

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QUOTE(Rebecca2000 @ Dec 19 2020, 10:45 PM)
I think flirtatious chats are part of everyday life, but as many have pointed out, it can easily stray into dangerous territory with a married man.

Saw how you let it die off, respect you for taking that course of action  smile.gif
*
But right now I keep having the thought want to tell the wife about her husband... I got to know from my another girl classmate that he was trying to flirt with her too earlier...
SUSCmyong88
post Dec 20 2020, 08:54 AM

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Lol... Exposing the guy because he no longer helps you with your study. If you're high and mighty, you should've exposed him the second you found out about his wife. Exposing him now will just make you a cunt.
TSanilin
post Dec 20 2020, 12:06 PM

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QUOTE(Cmyong88 @ Dec 20 2020, 08:54 AM)
Lol... Exposing the guy because he no longer helps you with your study. If you're high and mighty, you should've exposed him the second you found out about his wife. Exposing him now will just make you a cunt.
*
Part of the reason yes. But I am still sane yet.
Don't you think it's so pathetic when the husband literally goes behind her back, flirts around with girls most of the time.
Anyways... none of my business though. Let it ends.

SUSCmyong88
post Dec 20 2020, 12:27 PM

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QUOTE(anilin @ Dec 20 2020, 12:06 PM)
Part of the reason yes. But I am still sane yet.
Don't you think it's so pathetic when the husband literally goes behind her back, flirts around with girls most of the time.
Anyways... none of my business though.  Let it ends.
*
It's inappropriate on many levels for the husband and I'm sure if you were to sleep with him he'd welcome with arms wide open but all you guys did were flirt? It ain't wrong, just inappropriate. And don't feel pity to the wife
TSanilin
post Dec 20 2020, 12:51 PM

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QUOTE(Cmyong88 @ Dec 20 2020, 12:27 PM)
It's inappropriate on many levels for the husband and I'm sure if you were to sleep with him he'd welcome with arms wide open but all you guys did were flirt? It ain't wrong, just inappropriate. And don't feel pity to the wife
*
why don't feel pity to the wife?

I didn't really respond well to his flirts initially. But there are times I did give him some compliments to return his favors. At times we did have arguments too, regarding our assignments etc. etc. Our last conversation was actually having some dispute over certain matter. Right now we are assigned to different groups, so basically we won't be interacting.

This post has been edited by anilin: Dec 20 2020, 12:52 PM
SUSCmyong88
post Dec 20 2020, 01:21 PM

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QUOTE(anilin @ Dec 20 2020, 12:51 PM)
why don't feel pity to the wife?

I didn't really respond well to his flirts initially. But there are times I did give him some compliments to return his favors.  At times we did have arguments too, regarding our assignments etc. etc. Our last conversation was actually having some dispute over certain matter. Right now we are assigned to different groups, so basically we won't be interacting.
*
Cause we're outsiders no matter what unless you been in her shoe, which I'm guessing you don't want to. Probably the guy's a seriel fukboi just flirt anything that moves hoping to get lucky. When things didn't go as plan or reciprocated like in your case, they usually change their persona instantaneously with noticeable drop in patience. At least in different group now
Rebecca2000
post Dec 20 2020, 08:59 PM

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QUOTE(anilin @ Dec 20 2020, 12:09 AM)
But right now I keep having the thought want to tell the wife about her husband... I got to know from my another girl classmate that he was trying to flirt with her too earlier...
*
Personally speaking, I would be tempted too... I have had my fair share of being approached by "pretend-to-not-be-married" or "married-and-secretly-looking" guys on platforms like BeSmitten, TanTan and Paktor.

I try to make it explicitly clear upfront that I will not entertain approaches by married guys. But undoubtedly they will still come.

So my regular turn-off trick, is to keep bringing up questions e.g. "How is your wife doing?", "What did you do with your wife and kids today?". Sooner or later, they eventually get the hint.

I try not to wreck their home affairs directly, since I don't know what kind of situation is happening at home. But I try to send plenty of signals that married guys will not be entertained by me. Anyway, there are plenty of other girls on dating platforms who will go for married guys, so if he really needs to eat outside the home, he can look elsewhere without disturbing you.
TSanilin
post Dec 20 2020, 09:41 PM

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QUOTE(Rebecca2000 @ Dec 20 2020, 08:59 PM)
Personally speaking, I would be tempted too... I have had my fair share of being approached by "pretend-to-not-be-married" or "married-and-secretly-looking" guys on platforms like BeSmitten, TanTan and Paktor.

I try to make it explicitly clear upfront that I will not entertain approaches by married guys. But undoubtedly they will still come.

So my regular turn-off trick, is to keep bringing up questions e.g. "How is your wife doing?", "What did you do with your wife and kids today?".  Sooner or later, they eventually get the hint.

I try not to wreck their home affairs directly, since I don't know what kind of situation is happening at home.  But I try to send plenty of signals that married guys will not be entertained by me.  Anyway, there are plenty of other girls on dating platforms who will go for married guys, so if he really needs to eat outside the home, he can look elsewhere without disturbing you.
*
Ya I did so actually! During valentines day I did asked him go get something nice for his loved one..then every now and then I'll ask him is he married? Why he wear ring? I guess he probably got my hint as well... Well, you may ask why I were still talking to him? Like you mentioned, tempted to do so, but once I'd double confirmed his married status, I seriously called it off, though I'll still miss him around. Almost half a year we had been talking every single day and night without miss. Somehow will develop sorta dependency right...

This post has been edited by anilin: Dec 20 2020, 09:41 PM
k town shit
post Dec 20 2020, 09:48 PM

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why not? I had a friend he chased a Lady who is also 4 years older than him. Both of them are colleagues, the guy has a Fiance,
He told me how exotic is the experience. Although the Lady know he is a married man, but she can't help to stop contacting him. She likes being with him. He gave her satisfaction and exotic experience, she enjoyed
oOoproz
post Dec 21 2020, 01:34 AM

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QUOTE(k town shit @ Dec 20 2020, 10:48 PM)
why not? I had a friend he chased a Lady who is also 4 years older than him. Both of them are colleagues, the guy has a Fiance,
He told me how exotic is the experience. Although the Lady know he is a married man, but she can't help to stop contacting him. She likes being with him. He gave her satisfaction and exotic experience, she enjoyed
*
Definitely, especially for those who just left a long term relationship or being single for long time, the more you want if the harder it gets, the attention, love and lust that you never felt before, there is no right or wrong for going after what you want but beware of the consequences, the risk and reward cool2.gif

This post has been edited by oOoproz: Dec 21 2020, 01:36 AM
Rebecca2000
post Dec 22 2020, 09:52 AM

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QUOTE(anilin @ Dec 20 2020, 09:41 PM)
Ya I did so actually! During valentines day I did asked him go get something nice for his loved one..then every now and then I'll ask him is he married? Why he wear ring? I guess he probably got my hint as well... Well, you may ask why I were still talking to him? Like you mentioned, tempted to do so, but once I'd double confirmed his married status, I seriously called it off, though I'll still miss him around. Almost half a year we had been talking every single day and night without miss. Somehow will develop sorta dependency right...
*
I can totally relate biggrin.gif
TSanilin
post Dec 29 2020, 11:42 AM

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QUOTE(Danq @ Dec 28 2020, 10:15 PM)
Why u still chat with a married guy? stop it
*
they came to me without my knowledge...
ya, I had stopped, but I cannot stop more coming...
TSanilin
post Jan 11 2021, 09:26 PM

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QUOTE(Danq @ Jan 11 2021, 08:56 PM)
How was your feeling? Do you feel regret?
*
Regret of?
nihonc610 P
post Jan 18 2021, 10:06 PM

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It's not right to chat with a married man. There are more single, and available men out there.
-mystery-
post Jan 19 2021, 02:13 AM

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QUOTE(Danq @ Jan 14 2021, 10:17 PM)
chatting with people's husband because some people will feel kind of weird so close with people's husband
*
the more important is how she felt,
she feels like married men have higher social status/proof hence she cant help herself but get attracted to him. Ive yet talk about moral issue following by this.
TSanilin
post Jan 20 2021, 11:38 PM

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QUOTE(-mystery- @ Jan 19 2021, 02:13 AM)
the more important is how she felt,
she feels like married men have higher social status/proof hence she cant help herself but get attracted to him. Ive yet talk about moral issue following by this.
*
I'll refrain from talking to married man, from now onwards.
I consider myself as unlucky.. Only able to attract perverts, married one somemore. If they were here for a healthy friendship, I wont mind. But I believe they were somehow having issues with their spouses, thus, spending most of their time talking nonsense to other ladies..

This post has been edited by anilin: Jan 21 2021, 12:29 AM
TSanilin
post Jan 20 2021, 11:45 PM

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QUOTE(nihonc610 @ Jan 18 2021, 10:06 PM)
It's not right to chat with a married man. There are more single, and available men out there.
*
Just usual chit chat is fine right?
-mystery-
post Jan 21 2021, 12:40 AM

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QUOTE(anilin @ Jan 20 2021, 11:45 PM)
Just usual chit chat is fine right?
*
just avoid one-to-one hang out is usually fine
TSanilin
post Jan 21 2021, 12:44 AM

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QUOTE(-mystery- @ Jan 21 2021, 12:40 AM)
just avoid one-to-one hang out is usually fine
*
What if the guy started to flirt around?
-mystery-
post Jan 21 2021, 01:06 AM

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QUOTE(anilin @ Jan 21 2021, 12:44 AM)
What if the guy started to flirt around?
*
just tell him right on face this is inappropriate
usually guys get the hint unless if he was retarded
sue to HR for harassment if worsen.
silverhawk
post Jan 30 2021, 11:00 PM

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QUOTE(anilin @ Jan 20 2021, 11:45 PM)
Just usual chit chat is fine right?
*
If its "just" chit chat, sure, its fine. More often than not its something else.

Do you know how to tell the difference?
-mystery-
post Jan 31 2021, 03:03 PM

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QUOTE(silverhawk @ Jan 30 2021, 11:00 PM)
If its "just" chit chat, sure, its fine. More often than not its something else.

Do you know how to tell the difference?
*
Most females are aware they can resist a man's offer to 'go forward', or maybe they are not happy with their life or current significance so they try to justify a way to mean, 'look, he's the one who tries to seduce to me, im innocent leh'

Guilty as charged.
SUSLiamness
post Feb 11 2021, 11:44 AM

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QUOTE(-mystery- @ Jan 19 2021, 02:13 AM)
the more important is how she felt,
she feels like married men have higher social status/proof hence she cant help herself but get attracted to him. Ive yet talk about moral issue following by this.
*
hahah, in reality, most married men with family are broke. Don't have a single cent to spare on dates, looking for a quick release because they failed to get it from their wives.

If TS were to go with the guy, she's just a sucker, used and dumped.

and do you want to start a relationship with a cheat? Once a cheat, always a cheat.

TS should consider what is happened in her life to be single at late 30s still.
SUSLiamness
post Feb 11 2021, 11:50 AM

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QUOTE(anilin @ Jan 21 2021, 12:44 AM)
What if the guy started to flirt around?
*
im abit confused.. you are in your late 30s and still acting like a teenager who got no clue about relationships and sex?

what has happened in the last 20 years since you finish high school?

You surely can't be that naïve to not be able to make sense or handle sexual advancements from other men..

Personal question, are you still a virgin? biggrin.gif
jenniJenni
post Feb 14 2021, 12:58 AM

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QUOTE(Liamness @ Feb 11 2021, 11:44 AM)

TS should consider what is happened in her life to be single at late 30s still.

*
Excuse me, but what is wrong for ladies / women to remain single in her/their late 30's ?

You sounds a lil harsh on this statement, no?

It could be that some ladies / women have not found a right partner that they deem suitable for them or it could be any other reason as well in which we might not know.

But honestly, I myself have seen quite a number of ladies still have not settle down or rush into a marriage even in their earlier 40's.

Yes, I understand that there're some women out there with attitude problem couldn't even get a 'manfriend' in their 30's and I believe this could be the core reason women with a major attitude problem that men find it a turn off to even date / court them which explains why these women are still remain single as they age.

But please be fair to other women as well bcs not ALL women are like that and perhaps to some, they choose to remain single? We wouldn't know. Everyone is different.


NOTE: I am NOT in my 30's and am not here to pick a fight with you.

SUSLiamness
post Feb 14 2021, 11:41 AM

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QUOTE(jenniJenni @ Feb 14 2021, 12:58 AM)
Excuse me, but what is wrong for ladies / women to remain single in her/their late 30's ?

You sounds a lil harsh on this statement, no?

It could be that some ladies / women have not found a right partner that they deem suitable for them or it could be any other reason as well in which we might not know.

But honestly, I myself have seen quite a number of ladies still have not settle down or rush into a marriage even in their earlier 40's.   

Yes, I understand that there're some women out there with attitude problem couldn't even get a 'manfriend' in their 30's and I believe this could be the core reason women with a major attitude problem that men find it a turn off to even date / court them which explains why these women are still remain single as they age.

But please be fair to other women as well bcs not ALL women are like that and perhaps to some, they choose to remain single? We wouldn't know. Everyone is different.
NOTE: I am NOT in my 30's and am not here to pick a fight with you.
*
Well, everyone should analyse why they are still single in their 30s.

Maybe they were too picky, choosing to date guys way above their league and who didnt want commitment.

Maybe they were too timid. Rejecting guys advancement because they didnt want to date guys like that.

Or maybe they were too loose in their choice. Preferring casual relationships over more long term ones.


Whatever it is, your decisions have lead to you being single and almost 40 years old. And we all know in Asian culture, that is as good as being unmarried for rest of your life.


Guys too who as in their 30s but single also need to ask why. This problem isn't just for girls, any guy still a virgin at 30 has problems too..



mikehuan
post Feb 16 2021, 11:05 AM

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QUOTE(Liamness @ Feb 14 2021, 11:41 AM)
Well, everyone should analyse why they are still single in their 30s.

Maybe they were too picky, choosing to date guys way above their league and who didnt want commitment.

Maybe they were too timid. Rejecting guys advancement because they didnt want to date guys like that.

Or maybe they were too loose in their choice. Preferring casual relationships over more long term ones.
Whatever it is, your decisions have lead to you being single and almost 40 years old. And we all know in Asian culture, that is as good as being unmarried for rest of your life.
Guys too who as in their 30s but single also need to ask why. This problem isn't just for girls, any guy still a virgin at 30 has problems too..
*
maybe, unlike you, they have their own priorities and relationships and marriage isn't their top priority atm

dont assume everyone is the same as you. Relationships are a choice, and deciding not to have a partner is also a choice.
InitialB
post Feb 16 2021, 11:08 AM

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Sendiri flame the burning fire.

Come on la, sendiri gosok pet pet also.

One day the wifey will knock on your door and gave you a bitches slap.

This post has been edited by InitialB: Feb 16 2021, 11:08 AM
SUSLiamness
post Feb 17 2021, 09:26 AM

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QUOTE(mikehuan @ Feb 16 2021, 11:05 AM)
maybe, unlike you, they have their own priorities and relationships and marriage isn't their top priority atm

dont assume everyone is the same as you. Relationships are a choice, and deciding not to have a partner is also a choice.
*
I said single.

It's fine if marriage isnt your priority, but to remain single in your 40s and welcome the advances of a married man?

Are you a home wrecker? Why play with fire when there are other single, unattached men out there.

This post has been edited by Liamness: Feb 17 2021, 09:29 AM
mikehuan
post Feb 17 2021, 01:03 PM

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QUOTE(Liamness @ Feb 17 2021, 09:26 AM)
I said single.

It's fine if marriage isnt your priority, but to remain single in your 40s and welcome the advances of a married man?

Are you a home wrecker? Why play with fire when there are other single, unattached men out there.
*
so are you saying that it is wrong to be single in your 40s?

i see victim blaming here. She didn't initiate the conversation, the guy did.
SUSLiamness
post Feb 17 2021, 01:51 PM

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QUOTE(mikehuan @ Feb 17 2021, 01:03 PM)
so are you saying that it is wrong to be single in your 40s?

i see victim blaming here. She didn't initiate the conversation, the guy did.
*
I said you should consider the reasons why you are single.

Some are by choice. More power to them.. If you are by choice, then why the heck are you flirting with a married man? Seems very conflicting to your stance of remaining single by choice, no?..

And if you are single not by choice, then again, perhaps one of the biggest reasons why you are still single is because you are flirting with a taken guy..

It's that simple really. TS isn't a victim.. sure, she didn't initiate the convo, but carrying on with it and leading it on towards something that will only end up with her being hurt or rejected or still remaining as a single 40 year old is entirely on her and the way she carries herself.

Stop protecting her. It's not doing her any good.. She needs to recognise that actions do carry consequences..
blindmutedeaf
post Feb 17 2021, 02:05 PM

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for all your previous comment, i do not quite understand the pulling effect.

(pulling) the main benefit from him to you is academic maybe a little bit of feel good factor in the sense of still got ppl flirting with you?

(pushing) he lied about almost everything

in your late 30s you take master for interest? unless you are in academic path say teacher / lecturer, or have plan to PHD, else i do not see first grade and passing will affect your career unless you are very low rank ( graduate trainee still).

AFAIK those have many years in working, even having a new master in CV won't help in $$$ cause boss / HR don't care.

Anyway to cut all the less important mention previously, your conscience tell you it is wrong, then why not just tell him in face i just want to copy your academic not anything else. Anything outta academic is none of my biz.
It just like in the forum, not many will care about your real name whistling.gif

leah235
post Feb 17 2021, 02:09 PM

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I'm confuse. The next page I clicked, suddenly it's a debate of virgin or not.

So TS, what was your question again?
mikehuan
post Feb 17 2021, 02:23 PM

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QUOTE(Liamness @ Feb 17 2021, 01:51 PM)
I said you should consider the reasons why you are single.

Some are by choice. More power to them.. If you are by choice, then why the heck are you flirting with a married man? Seems very conflicting to your stance of remaining single by choice, no?..

And if you are single not by choice, then again, perhaps one of the biggest reasons why you are still single is because you are flirting with a taken guy..

It's that simple really. TS isn't a victim.. sure, she didn't initiate the convo, but carrying on with it and leading it on towards something that will only end up with her being hurt or rejected or still remaining as a single 40 year old is entirely on her and the way she carries herself.

Stop protecting her. It's not doing her any good.. She needs to recognise that actions do carry consequences..
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cant blame her for being single,
cant blame her when she got approached by the guy,
so now blame her for carrying and leading it on.
Also denying that she is the victim in this situation

so many words victimizing her but not a single one blaming the guy. Sounds to me you are too eager to blame her. Why? Subconsciously trying to justify your own actions?
SUSLiamness
post Feb 17 2021, 02:26 PM

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QUOTE(mikehuan @ Feb 17 2021, 02:23 PM)
cant blame her for being single,
cant blame her when she got approached by the guy,
so now blame her for carrying and leading it on.
Also denying that she is the victim in this situation

so many words victimizing her but not a single one blaming the guy. Sounds to me you are too eager to blame her. Why? Subconsciously trying to justify your own actions?
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do you know the guys part of the story?

Is the guy in this thread looking for advise?

So there's no point in talking about the guy..

There's only outcome and solutions meant for TS.
mikehuan
post Feb 17 2021, 02:31 PM

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QUOTE(Liamness @ Feb 17 2021, 02:26 PM)
do you know the guys part of the story?

Is the guy in this thread looking for advise?

So there's no point in talking about the guy..

There's only outcome and solutions meant for TS.
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dismiss and deny.

so now from blaming her now you are concerned for the victim that you want to help her out of this issue? biggrin.gif
SUSLiamness
post Feb 17 2021, 02:38 PM

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QUOTE(mikehuan @ Feb 17 2021, 02:31 PM)
dismiss and deny.

so now from blaming her now you are concerned for the victim that you want to help her out of this issue?  biggrin.gif
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only person who can truly help her is herself. Hence why I am asking her to introspect what lead to this outcome in the first place.

And if she's honest with herself, it probably has alot to do with still being single at 40..
mikehuan
post Feb 17 2021, 02:46 PM

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QUOTE(Liamness @ Feb 11 2021, 11:50 AM)
im abit confused.. you are in your late 30s and still acting like a teenager who got no clue about relationships and sex?

what has happened in the last 20 years since you finish high school?

You surely can't be that naïve to not be able to make sense or handle sexual advancements from other men.. 

Personal question, are you still a virgin?  biggrin.gif
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didnt know you cared so much for her wellbeing.

QUOTE(Liamness @ Feb 17 2021, 02:38 PM)
only person who can truly help her is herself. Hence why I am asking her to introspect what lead to this outcome in the first place.

And if she's honest with herself, it probably has alot to do with still being single at 40..
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no introspection needed. Its people like you who should mind their own business and not criticize and judge people for their decisions
SUSLiamness
post Feb 17 2021, 02:53 PM

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QUOTE(mikehuan @ Feb 17 2021, 02:46 PM)
didnt know you cared so much for her wellbeing.
no introspection needed. Its people like you who should mind their own business and not criticize and judge people for their decisions
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you do realise this is a public forum, where everyone can see your posts and free to leave their comments and opinions.

We don't live in a bubble wrap world of yours, buddy. Protected and sheltered from the harsh realities of life..


It's simple. Always start by assuming you are at fault. And you get out of it by asking yourself the hardest questions.

So why is TS still single at 40?

mikehuan
post Feb 17 2021, 03:00 PM

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QUOTE(Liamness @ Feb 17 2021, 02:53 PM)
you do realise this is a public forum, where everyone can see your posts and free to leave their comments and opinions.

We don't live in a bubble wrap world of yours, buddy. Protected and sheltered from the harsh realities of life..
It's simple. Always start by assuming you are at fault. And you get out of it by asking yourself the hardest questions.

So why is TS still single at 40?
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Does it matter? What i dont get is the automatic blaming of one party and instant dismissal of the other when both are equally involved.

There is nothing wrong about being single at 40. You are the one having a problem with it.

So take your own advice and assume that you are at fault.


l4nunm4l4y4
post Feb 17 2021, 03:05 PM

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What happened to TS?
Still in touch with the horny merrid man?
SUSLiamness
post Feb 17 2021, 03:14 PM

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QUOTE(mikehuan @ Feb 17 2021, 03:00 PM)
Does it matter? What i dont get is the automatic blaming of one party and instant dismissal of the other when both are equally involved.

There is nothing wrong about being single at 40. You are the one having a problem with it.

So take your own advice and assume that you are at fault.
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nobody is proportioning full blame on TS.

And part of self improvement is to accept full responsibility anyways. Even if it isn't completely your fault. Self improvement involves accepting that all outcomes could have been controlled or managed by your subsequent actions.

Likewise, nobody is stopping you from blaming the guy too. But as far as I'm concerned, what he does is irrelevant for us over here.. We are here to discuss about what TS can do to prevent it from occuring again..

Unless of course, she's/was looking for some action and drama in her life. Which makes whatever you are saying here to protect TS, is irrelevant. Also, the guys actions or fault is totally vindicated; since he correctly found a girl who wanted the attention in the first place..

So which is it? Do you want to improve on yourself? Then accept full responsibility. OR do you want to blame the guy and act passively about it?

What you are suggesting to TS is to be passive and just let him run the tractor over you..
TSanilin
post Feb 18 2021, 12:42 AM

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QUOTE(blindmutedeaf @ Feb 17 2021, 02:05 PM)
for all your previous comment, i do not quite understand the pulling effect.

(pulling) the main benefit from him to you is academic maybe a little bit of feel good factor in the sense of still got ppl flirting with you?

(pushing) he lied about almost everything

in your late 30s you take master for interest? unless you are in academic path say teacher / lecturer, or have plan to PHD, else i do not see first grade and passing will affect your career unless you are very low rank ( graduate trainee still). 

AFAIK those have many years in working, even having a new master in CV won't help in $$$ cause boss / HR don't care.

Anyway to cut all the less important mention previously, your conscience tell you it is wrong, then why not just tell him in face i just want to copy your academic not anything else. Anything outta academic is none of my biz.
It just like in the forum, not many will care about your real name  whistling.gif
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1. I'm doing masters degree for own interest. yeah, I'm single at mid 30s and I find that's something beneficial to my life.
2. I enjoyed his existance and he might be desiring my adore as well. Hence we hooked up a little.
3. I ignored his marital status just to enjoy the "relationship". Mean enough? But eventually I pulled back. I found his wife is lovely, she was clueless of what the husband had been up to. I'd been occupying lots of his time too for a good 6 months.
4. Unmarried, doesnt mean single completely right. Just say I'm choosy.

TSanilin
post Feb 18 2021, 12:44 AM

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QUOTE(l4nunm4l4y4 @ Feb 17 2021, 03:05 PM)
What happened to TS?
Still in touch with the horny merrid man?
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Nope... He confronted me whether I talked to his wifu.. I denied of course. Then we ghosted each other.
I did wished him during 2021 NY Eve. He replied with a Thanks. That's it -the end-

This post has been edited by anilin: Feb 18 2021, 12:44 AM
l4nunm4l4y4
post Feb 18 2021, 12:47 AM

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QUOTE(anilin @ Feb 18 2021, 12:44 AM)
Nope... He confronted me whether I talked to his wifu.. I denied of course. Then we ghosted each other.
I did wished him during 2021 NY Eve. He replied with a Thanks. That's it -the end-
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Ahhhh there’s a happy ending after all.

Good job.
TSanilin
post Feb 18 2021, 02:51 PM

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QUOTE(l4nunm4l4y4 @ Feb 18 2021, 12:47 AM)
Ahhhh there’s a happy ending after all.

Good job.
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What if lets say I miss him a little and should I put down my dignity and talk to him, just a little?
l4nunm4l4y4
post Feb 18 2021, 03:03 PM

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QUOTE(anilin @ Feb 18 2021, 02:51 PM)
What if lets say I miss him a little and should I put down my dignity and talk to him, just a little?
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doh.gif
mikehuan
post Feb 18 2021, 03:46 PM

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QUOTE(Liamness @ Feb 17 2021, 03:14 PM)
nobody is proportioning full blame on TS.

And part of self improvement is to accept full responsibility anyways. Even if it isn't completely your fault. Self improvement involves accepting that all outcomes could have been controlled or managed by your subsequent actions.

Likewise, nobody is stopping you from blaming the guy too. But as far as I'm concerned, what he does is irrelevant for us over here.. We are here to discuss about what TS can do to prevent it from occuring again..

Unless of course, she's/was looking for some action and drama in her life. Which makes whatever you are saying here to protect TS, is irrelevant. Also, the guys actions or fault is totally vindicated; since he correctly found a girl who wanted the attention in the first place..

So which is it? Do you want to improve on yourself? Then accept full responsibility. OR do you want to blame the guy and act passively about it?

What you are suggesting to TS is to be passive and just let him run the tractor over you..
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i said both are equally responsible, i didnt defend her in the first place, merely said that it is okay to be single.

Equating the mans actions as a tractor running over somebody is also wrong, its not a force that can't be stopped. One can simply just ignore the advances or entertain. That choice is hers, not his. He has no power over her decisions, and not vice versa
cfa28
post Feb 19 2021, 03:38 PM

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QUOTE(anilin @ Feb 18 2021, 02:51 PM)
What if lets say I miss him a little and should I put down my dignity and talk to him, just a little?
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You have to be honest and ask yourself what do you want out of this relationship with the married guy and also what he wants out of it.


it seems that you have developed some sort of emotional attachment

They say a man will not say he had an affair until he actually slept with another woman

But to the woman, the affair begins when they developed emotional attachments

So do you really want to have an affair with a married man


TSanilin
post Feb 21 2021, 09:12 PM

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QUOTE(Liamness @ Feb 17 2021, 02:53 PM)
you do realise this is a public forum, where everyone can see your posts and free to leave their comments and opinions.

We don't live in a bubble wrap world of yours, buddy. Protected and sheltered from the harsh realities of life..
It's simple. Always start by assuming you are at fault. And you get out of it by asking yourself the hardest questions.

So why is TS still single at 40?
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Don't complicate. I'm just a typical perfectionist. Contemptuous & arrogant. Mean time, enjoy being adored.

TSanilin
post Feb 21 2021, 09:16 PM

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QUOTE(cfa28 @ Feb 19 2021, 03:38 PM)
You have to be honest and ask yourself what do you want out of this relationship with the married guy and also what he wants out of it.
it seems that you have developed some sort of emotional attachment

They say a man will not say he had an affair until he actually slept with another woman

But to the woman, the affair begins when they developed emotional attachments

So do you really want to have an affair with a married man
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We've never met each other. So is it an affair? He probably hates me a damn lot for exposing him, he told me not to talk to him because he was in big trouble. So, it's almost 3 months now. Shall I reconcile? Life is boring though.

cfa28
post Feb 21 2021, 10:25 PM

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TS. as i said a man will not consider it as an affair until there is s3x involved.

A woman on the other hand will consider it as an affair when there is emotions involved.

If we reverse the situation, would you be happy if your spouse or partner starts to chat with other women.

Friendly chat now and then is fine but not too often loh.

But as I said what do you want to achieve out of this in the end.

I can say for sure is that the married man wants to sleep with you.

But is that what you want. If it is then don't waste time and just do it


But Why waste what is remaining of your precious youth on a married man.

Money you can find back but time and youth... Once lost cannot be bought back

I do know of women who are the mistress, some of them even have kids with the married man.

You condemn the women but you really feel sorry for the children.

Always asking why papa or daddy can never come to school for their performance

Takudan
post Feb 22 2021, 01:11 AM

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QUOTE(anilin @ Feb 21 2021, 09:16 PM)
Shall I reconcile? Life is boring though.
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I don't think I share the same values as you so take my advice with a pinch of salt.

No, don't reconcile, there's no point because it sounds like he already hates you and so he will stay away from you even if he wants to curi makan. It was just a brief encounter so you both aren't losing anything anyway.
What are you looking to achieve anyway?

"Life is boring"? Find something else to entertain you, not someone. Definitely not him. It's no longer mutual.
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post Feb 22 2021, 01:50 PM

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QUOTE(Takudan @ Feb 22 2021, 01:11 AM)
What are you looking to achieve anyway?
She's looking to serve her self interest. She doesn't care who gets hurt on the other side. It has been apparent since her initial post. Knowing he might/is married did not stop her because her conscience is missing.
TSanilin
post Feb 22 2021, 03:34 PM

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QUOTE(McFD2R @ Feb 22 2021, 01:50 PM)
She's looking to serve her self interest. She doesn't care who gets hurt on the other side. It has been apparent since her initial post. Knowing he might/is married did not stop her because her conscience is missing.
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yes exactly. But well, why did I refrain eventually knowing that we won't be seeing each other in person ever.

 

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