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TSanilin
post Dec 18 2020, 08:09 PM

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QUOTE(itekderp @ Dec 14 2020, 01:48 AM)
Shows your infatuation right there, that you’ll take it that far.
As to what the wife said, could be denial or whatever. But your instincts are probably correct, he’s going behind her back.
It’s funny though. I won’t doubt you’re a bit of a catch, but is he really worth it? Sure, academically he’s sound and he’s interesting to keep you around for that long. But the emotional aspect of it bothers me. He won’t admit to being married, such things are red flags that are obvious but you’re willing to overlook. I think if you use your clear mind, you’ll see what his priorities really are. You’ve been smart about these things so far, so why are you slacking now? Take care of your own heart and soul, gal.
Wtf is anilin? And also, hi RUI long time no see mate.
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Ya.. We haven't communicated to each other since past 10 days.. Just died off. Probably the wife asked him about me. I hope he had deleted or clear up our chat log, otherwise the wife would get real hurt..
If I were the wife, I really don't know how can I handle such situation...
TSanilin
post Dec 19 2020, 07:37 PM

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QUOTE(Danq @ Dec 19 2020, 04:50 PM)
Better avoid it as early as you can or set a boundary. Its not nice to just go along
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yes.. avoided... but subconscious part of my mind keeps making me have the urge to expose this jerk to the wife... arrggg...
TSanilin
post Dec 19 2020, 08:00 PM

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QUOTE(itekderp @ Dec 19 2020, 07:53 PM)
Still, what’s an anilin? Is that your name or something
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Aniline (Anilin) is an organic compound with the formula C6H5NH2. Consisting of a phenyl group attached to an amino group, aniline is the simplest aromatic amine. It is an industrially significant commodity chemical, as well as a versatile starting material for fine chemical synthesis. Its main use is in the manufacture of precursors to polyurethane, dyes, and other industrial chemicals. Like most volatile amines, it has the odor of rotten fish. It ignites readily, burning with a smoky flame characteristic of aromatic compounds.

Chemically, it is considered an electron-rich benzene derivative, and as a consequence, reacts rapidly in electrophilic aromatic substitution reactions. Likewise, it is also prone to oxidation: while freshly purified aniline is an almost colorless oil, exposure to air results in gradual darkening of the sample (to yellow or red) due to the formation of strongly colored, oxidized impurities. Aniline can be diazotized to give a diazonium salt, which can then undergo various nucleophilic substitution reactions.

Like other amines, aniline is a base (pKaH = 4.6) and nucleophile, although it is a weaker base and poorer nucleophile than structurally similar aliphatic amines.

In the late 19th century, derivatives of aniline such as acetanilide and phenacetin emerged as analgesic drugs, with their cardiac-suppressive side effects often countered with caffeine.[28] During the first decade of the 20th century, while trying to modify synthetic dyes to treat African sleeping sickness, Paul Ehrlich – who had coined the term chemotherapy for his magic bullet approach to medicine – failed and switched to modifying Béchamp's atoxyl, the first organic arsenical drug, and serendipitously obtained a treatment for syphilis – salvarsan – the first successful chemotherapy agent. Salvarsan's targeted microorganism, not yet recognized as a bacterium, was still thought to be a parasite, and medical bacteriologists, believing that bacteria were not susceptible to the chemotherapeutic approach, overlooked Alexander Fleming's report in 1928 on the effects of penicillin.

In 1932, Bayer sought medical applications of its dyes. Gerhard Domagk identified as an antibacterial a red azo dye, introduced in 1935 as the first antibacterial drug, prontosil, soon found at Pasteur Institute to be a prodrug degraded in vivo into sulfanilamide – a colorless intermediate for many, highly colorfast azo dyes – already with an expired patent, synthesized in 1908 in Vienna by the researcher Paul Gelmo for his doctoral research.[29] By the 1940s, over 500 related sulfa drugs were produced.[29] Medications in high demand during World War II (1939–45), these first miracle drugs, chemotherapy of wide effectiveness, propelled the American pharmaceutics industry.[30] In 1939, at Oxford University, seeking an alternative to sulfa drugs, Howard Florey developed Fleming's penicillin into the first systemic antibiotic drug, penicillin G. (Gramicidin, developed by René Dubos at Rockefeller Institute in 1939, was the first antibiotic, yet its toxicity restricted it to topical use.) After World War II, Cornelius P. Rhoads introduced the chemotherapeutic approach to cancer treatment.


QUOTE(itekderp @ Dec 19 2020, 07:54 PM)
Why? Did you feel played?
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YES.....

This post has been edited by anilin: Dec 19 2020, 08:01 PM
TSanilin
post Dec 19 2020, 11:54 PM

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QUOTE(itekderp @ Dec 19 2020, 10:29 PM)
So you named yourself after a compound which can be synthesized into a cure for syphilis. You probably copied that from wiki, but interesting read nevertheless. You like chemistry?
Why do you feel betrayed? Did he mislead you or did your own expectations did? By what percentage?
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I hardly recall why I registered with this chemical name, probably I was crashing my head with this subject back then, well more than a decade ago...
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Honestly I feel I developed sort of emotional dependency.. And also I'd lost some academic assistance...
In fact, he didn't respond to my last text and well it Just died off until now.. I do expect he would look for me, but nope he didnt. Well, another jerk all I can say. By what percentage? 30-40% maybe.

This post has been edited by anilin: Dec 20 2020, 12:07 AM
TSanilin
post Dec 20 2020, 12:09 AM

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QUOTE(Rebecca2000 @ Dec 19 2020, 10:45 PM)
I think flirtatious chats are part of everyday life, but as many have pointed out, it can easily stray into dangerous territory with a married man.

Saw how you let it die off, respect you for taking that course of action  smile.gif
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But right now I keep having the thought want to tell the wife about her husband... I got to know from my another girl classmate that he was trying to flirt with her too earlier...
TSanilin
post Dec 20 2020, 12:06 PM

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QUOTE(Cmyong88 @ Dec 20 2020, 08:54 AM)
Lol... Exposing the guy because he no longer helps you with your study. If you're high and mighty, you should've exposed him the second you found out about his wife. Exposing him now will just make you a cunt.
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Part of the reason yes. But I am still sane yet.
Don't you think it's so pathetic when the husband literally goes behind her back, flirts around with girls most of the time.
Anyways... none of my business though. Let it ends.

TSanilin
post Dec 20 2020, 12:51 PM

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QUOTE(Cmyong88 @ Dec 20 2020, 12:27 PM)
It's inappropriate on many levels for the husband and I'm sure if you were to sleep with him he'd welcome with arms wide open but all you guys did were flirt? It ain't wrong, just inappropriate. And don't feel pity to the wife
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why don't feel pity to the wife?

I didn't really respond well to his flirts initially. But there are times I did give him some compliments to return his favors. At times we did have arguments too, regarding our assignments etc. etc. Our last conversation was actually having some dispute over certain matter. Right now we are assigned to different groups, so basically we won't be interacting.

This post has been edited by anilin: Dec 20 2020, 12:52 PM
TSanilin
post Dec 20 2020, 09:41 PM

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QUOTE(Rebecca2000 @ Dec 20 2020, 08:59 PM)
Personally speaking, I would be tempted too... I have had my fair share of being approached by "pretend-to-not-be-married" or "married-and-secretly-looking" guys on platforms like BeSmitten, TanTan and Paktor.

I try to make it explicitly clear upfront that I will not entertain approaches by married guys. But undoubtedly they will still come.

So my regular turn-off trick, is to keep bringing up questions e.g. "How is your wife doing?", "What did you do with your wife and kids today?".  Sooner or later, they eventually get the hint.

I try not to wreck their home affairs directly, since I don't know what kind of situation is happening at home.  But I try to send plenty of signals that married guys will not be entertained by me.  Anyway, there are plenty of other girls on dating platforms who will go for married guys, so if he really needs to eat outside the home, he can look elsewhere without disturbing you.
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Ya I did so actually! During valentines day I did asked him go get something nice for his loved one..then every now and then I'll ask him is he married? Why he wear ring? I guess he probably got my hint as well... Well, you may ask why I were still talking to him? Like you mentioned, tempted to do so, but once I'd double confirmed his married status, I seriously called it off, though I'll still miss him around. Almost half a year we had been talking every single day and night without miss. Somehow will develop sorta dependency right...

This post has been edited by anilin: Dec 20 2020, 09:41 PM
TSanilin
post Dec 29 2020, 11:42 AM

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QUOTE(Danq @ Dec 28 2020, 10:15 PM)
Why u still chat with a married guy? stop it
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they came to me without my knowledge...
ya, I had stopped, but I cannot stop more coming...
TSanilin
post Jan 11 2021, 09:26 PM

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QUOTE(Danq @ Jan 11 2021, 08:56 PM)
How was your feeling? Do you feel regret?
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Regret of?
TSanilin
post Jan 20 2021, 11:38 PM

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QUOTE(-mystery- @ Jan 19 2021, 02:13 AM)
the more important is how she felt,
she feels like married men have higher social status/proof hence she cant help herself but get attracted to him. Ive yet talk about moral issue following by this.
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I'll refrain from talking to married man, from now onwards.
I consider myself as unlucky.. Only able to attract perverts, married one somemore. If they were here for a healthy friendship, I wont mind. But I believe they were somehow having issues with their spouses, thus, spending most of their time talking nonsense to other ladies..

This post has been edited by anilin: Jan 21 2021, 12:29 AM
TSanilin
post Jan 20 2021, 11:45 PM

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QUOTE(nihonc610 @ Jan 18 2021, 10:06 PM)
It's not right to chat with a married man. There are more single, and available men out there.
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Just usual chit chat is fine right?
TSanilin
post Jan 21 2021, 12:44 AM

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QUOTE(-mystery- @ Jan 21 2021, 12:40 AM)
just avoid one-to-one hang out is usually fine
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What if the guy started to flirt around?
TSanilin
post Feb 18 2021, 12:42 AM

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QUOTE(blindmutedeaf @ Feb 17 2021, 02:05 PM)
for all your previous comment, i do not quite understand the pulling effect.

(pulling) the main benefit from him to you is academic maybe a little bit of feel good factor in the sense of still got ppl flirting with you?

(pushing) he lied about almost everything

in your late 30s you take master for interest? unless you are in academic path say teacher / lecturer, or have plan to PHD, else i do not see first grade and passing will affect your career unless you are very low rank ( graduate trainee still). 

AFAIK those have many years in working, even having a new master in CV won't help in $$$ cause boss / HR don't care.

Anyway to cut all the less important mention previously, your conscience tell you it is wrong, then why not just tell him in face i just want to copy your academic not anything else. Anything outta academic is none of my biz.
It just like in the forum, not many will care about your real name  whistling.gif
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1. I'm doing masters degree for own interest. yeah, I'm single at mid 30s and I find that's something beneficial to my life.
2. I enjoyed his existance and he might be desiring my adore as well. Hence we hooked up a little.
3. I ignored his marital status just to enjoy the "relationship". Mean enough? But eventually I pulled back. I found his wife is lovely, she was clueless of what the husband had been up to. I'd been occupying lots of his time too for a good 6 months.
4. Unmarried, doesnt mean single completely right. Just say I'm choosy.

TSanilin
post Feb 18 2021, 12:44 AM

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QUOTE(l4nunm4l4y4 @ Feb 17 2021, 03:05 PM)
What happened to TS?
Still in touch with the horny merrid man?
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Nope... He confronted me whether I talked to his wifu.. I denied of course. Then we ghosted each other.
I did wished him during 2021 NY Eve. He replied with a Thanks. That's it -the end-

This post has been edited by anilin: Feb 18 2021, 12:44 AM
TSanilin
post Feb 18 2021, 02:51 PM

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QUOTE(l4nunm4l4y4 @ Feb 18 2021, 12:47 AM)
Ahhhh there’s a happy ending after all.

Good job.
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What if lets say I miss him a little and should I put down my dignity and talk to him, just a little?
TSanilin
post Feb 21 2021, 09:12 PM

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QUOTE(Liamness @ Feb 17 2021, 02:53 PM)
you do realise this is a public forum, where everyone can see your posts and free to leave their comments and opinions.

We don't live in a bubble wrap world of yours, buddy. Protected and sheltered from the harsh realities of life..
It's simple. Always start by assuming you are at fault. And you get out of it by asking yourself the hardest questions.

So why is TS still single at 40?
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Don't complicate. I'm just a typical perfectionist. Contemptuous & arrogant. Mean time, enjoy being adored.

TSanilin
post Feb 21 2021, 09:16 PM

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QUOTE(cfa28 @ Feb 19 2021, 03:38 PM)
You have to be honest and ask yourself what do you want out of this relationship with the married guy and also what he wants out of it.
it seems that you have developed some sort of emotional attachment

They say a man will not say he had an affair until he actually slept with another woman

But to the woman, the affair begins when they developed emotional attachments

So do you really want to have an affair with a married man
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We've never met each other. So is it an affair? He probably hates me a damn lot for exposing him, he told me not to talk to him because he was in big trouble. So, it's almost 3 months now. Shall I reconcile? Life is boring though.

TSanilin
post Feb 22 2021, 03:34 PM

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QUOTE(McFD2R @ Feb 22 2021, 01:50 PM)
She's looking to serve her self interest. She doesn't care who gets hurt on the other side. It has been apparent since her initial post. Knowing he might/is married did not stop her because her conscience is missing.
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yes exactly. But well, why did I refrain eventually knowing that we won't be seeing each other in person ever.

 

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