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TSanilin
post Feb 18 2021, 12:42 AM

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QUOTE(blindmutedeaf @ Feb 17 2021, 02:05 PM)
for all your previous comment, i do not quite understand the pulling effect.

(pulling) the main benefit from him to you is academic maybe a little bit of feel good factor in the sense of still got ppl flirting with you?

(pushing) he lied about almost everything

in your late 30s you take master for interest? unless you are in academic path say teacher / lecturer, or have plan to PHD, else i do not see first grade and passing will affect your career unless you are very low rank ( graduate trainee still). 

AFAIK those have many years in working, even having a new master in CV won't help in $$$ cause boss / HR don't care.

Anyway to cut all the less important mention previously, your conscience tell you it is wrong, then why not just tell him in face i just want to copy your academic not anything else. Anything outta academic is none of my biz.
It just like in the forum, not many will care about your real name  whistling.gif
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1. I'm doing masters degree for own interest. yeah, I'm single at mid 30s and I find that's something beneficial to my life.
2. I enjoyed his existance and he might be desiring my adore as well. Hence we hooked up a little.
3. I ignored his marital status just to enjoy the "relationship". Mean enough? But eventually I pulled back. I found his wife is lovely, she was clueless of what the husband had been up to. I'd been occupying lots of his time too for a good 6 months.
4. Unmarried, doesnt mean single completely right. Just say I'm choosy.

TSanilin
post Feb 18 2021, 12:44 AM

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QUOTE(l4nunm4l4y4 @ Feb 17 2021, 03:05 PM)
What happened to TS?
Still in touch with the horny merrid man?
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Nope... He confronted me whether I talked to his wifu.. I denied of course. Then we ghosted each other.
I did wished him during 2021 NY Eve. He replied with a Thanks. That's it -the end-

This post has been edited by anilin: Feb 18 2021, 12:44 AM
l4nunm4l4y4
post Feb 18 2021, 12:47 AM

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QUOTE(anilin @ Feb 18 2021, 12:44 AM)
Nope... He confronted me whether I talked to his wifu.. I denied of course. Then we ghosted each other.
I did wished him during 2021 NY Eve. He replied with a Thanks. That's it -the end-
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Ahhhh there’s a happy ending after all.

Good job.
TSanilin
post Feb 18 2021, 02:51 PM

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QUOTE(l4nunm4l4y4 @ Feb 18 2021, 12:47 AM)
Ahhhh there’s a happy ending after all.

Good job.
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What if lets say I miss him a little and should I put down my dignity and talk to him, just a little?
l4nunm4l4y4
post Feb 18 2021, 03:03 PM

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QUOTE(anilin @ Feb 18 2021, 02:51 PM)
What if lets say I miss him a little and should I put down my dignity and talk to him, just a little?
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doh.gif
mikehuan
post Feb 18 2021, 03:46 PM

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QUOTE(Liamness @ Feb 17 2021, 03:14 PM)
nobody is proportioning full blame on TS.

And part of self improvement is to accept full responsibility anyways. Even if it isn't completely your fault. Self improvement involves accepting that all outcomes could have been controlled or managed by your subsequent actions.

Likewise, nobody is stopping you from blaming the guy too. But as far as I'm concerned, what he does is irrelevant for us over here.. We are here to discuss about what TS can do to prevent it from occuring again..

Unless of course, she's/was looking for some action and drama in her life. Which makes whatever you are saying here to protect TS, is irrelevant. Also, the guys actions or fault is totally vindicated; since he correctly found a girl who wanted the attention in the first place..

So which is it? Do you want to improve on yourself? Then accept full responsibility. OR do you want to blame the guy and act passively about it?

What you are suggesting to TS is to be passive and just let him run the tractor over you..
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i said both are equally responsible, i didnt defend her in the first place, merely said that it is okay to be single.

Equating the mans actions as a tractor running over somebody is also wrong, its not a force that can't be stopped. One can simply just ignore the advances or entertain. That choice is hers, not his. He has no power over her decisions, and not vice versa
cfa28
post Feb 19 2021, 03:38 PM

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QUOTE(anilin @ Feb 18 2021, 02:51 PM)
What if lets say I miss him a little and should I put down my dignity and talk to him, just a little?
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You have to be honest and ask yourself what do you want out of this relationship with the married guy and also what he wants out of it.


it seems that you have developed some sort of emotional attachment

They say a man will not say he had an affair until he actually slept with another woman

But to the woman, the affair begins when they developed emotional attachments

So do you really want to have an affair with a married man


TSanilin
post Feb 21 2021, 09:12 PM

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QUOTE(Liamness @ Feb 17 2021, 02:53 PM)
you do realise this is a public forum, where everyone can see your posts and free to leave their comments and opinions.

We don't live in a bubble wrap world of yours, buddy. Protected and sheltered from the harsh realities of life..
It's simple. Always start by assuming you are at fault. And you get out of it by asking yourself the hardest questions.

So why is TS still single at 40?
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Don't complicate. I'm just a typical perfectionist. Contemptuous & arrogant. Mean time, enjoy being adored.

TSanilin
post Feb 21 2021, 09:16 PM

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QUOTE(cfa28 @ Feb 19 2021, 03:38 PM)
You have to be honest and ask yourself what do you want out of this relationship with the married guy and also what he wants out of it.
it seems that you have developed some sort of emotional attachment

They say a man will not say he had an affair until he actually slept with another woman

But to the woman, the affair begins when they developed emotional attachments

So do you really want to have an affair with a married man
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We've never met each other. So is it an affair? He probably hates me a damn lot for exposing him, he told me not to talk to him because he was in big trouble. So, it's almost 3 months now. Shall I reconcile? Life is boring though.

cfa28
post Feb 21 2021, 10:25 PM

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TS. as i said a man will not consider it as an affair until there is s3x involved.

A woman on the other hand will consider it as an affair when there is emotions involved.

If we reverse the situation, would you be happy if your spouse or partner starts to chat with other women.

Friendly chat now and then is fine but not too often loh.

But as I said what do you want to achieve out of this in the end.

I can say for sure is that the married man wants to sleep with you.

But is that what you want. If it is then don't waste time and just do it


But Why waste what is remaining of your precious youth on a married man.

Money you can find back but time and youth... Once lost cannot be bought back

I do know of women who are the mistress, some of them even have kids with the married man.

You condemn the women but you really feel sorry for the children.

Always asking why papa or daddy can never come to school for their performance

Takudan
post Feb 22 2021, 01:11 AM

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QUOTE(anilin @ Feb 21 2021, 09:16 PM)
Shall I reconcile? Life is boring though.
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I don't think I share the same values as you so take my advice with a pinch of salt.

No, don't reconcile, there's no point because it sounds like he already hates you and so he will stay away from you even if he wants to curi makan. It was just a brief encounter so you both aren't losing anything anyway.
What are you looking to achieve anyway?

"Life is boring"? Find something else to entertain you, not someone. Definitely not him. It's no longer mutual.
McFD2R
post Feb 22 2021, 01:50 PM

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QUOTE(Takudan @ Feb 22 2021, 01:11 AM)
What are you looking to achieve anyway?
She's looking to serve her self interest. She doesn't care who gets hurt on the other side. It has been apparent since her initial post. Knowing he might/is married did not stop her because her conscience is missing.
TSanilin
post Feb 22 2021, 03:34 PM

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QUOTE(McFD2R @ Feb 22 2021, 01:50 PM)
She's looking to serve her self interest. She doesn't care who gets hurt on the other side. It has been apparent since her initial post. Knowing he might/is married did not stop her because her conscience is missing.
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yes exactly. But well, why did I refrain eventually knowing that we won't be seeing each other in person ever.

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