hahah, in reality, most married men with family are broke. Don't have a single cent to spare on dates, looking for a quick release because they failed to get it from their wives.

If TS were to go with the guy, she's just a sucker, used and dumped.

and do you want to start a relationship with a cheat? Once a cheat, always a cheat.

TS should consider what is happened in her life to be single at late 30s still.

im abit confused.. you are in your late 30s and still acting like a teenager who got no clue about relationships and sex?

what has happened in the last 20 years since you finish high school?

You surely can't be that naïve to not be able to make sense or handle sexual advancements from other men..

Personal question, are you still a virgin?

Excuse me, but what is wrong for ladies / women to remain single in her/their late 30's ?

You sounds a lil harsh on this statement, no?

It could be that some ladies / women have not found a right partner that they deem suitable for them or it could be any other reason as well in which we might not know.

But honestly, I myself have seen quite a number of ladies still have not settle down or rush into a marriage even in their earlier 40's.

Yes, I understand that there're some women out there with attitude problem couldn't even get a 'manfriend' in their 30's and I believe this could be the core reason women with a major attitude problem that men find it a turn off to even date / court them which explains why these women are still remain single as they age.

But please be fair to other women as well bcs not ALL women are like that and perhaps to some, they choose to remain single? We wouldn't know. Everyone is different.


NOTE: I am NOT in my 30's and am not here to pick a fight with you.

Well, everyone should analyse why they are still single in their 30s.

Maybe they were too picky, choosing to date guys way above their league and who didnt want commitment.

Maybe they were too timid. Rejecting guys advancement because they didnt want to date guys like that.

Or maybe they were too loose in their choice. Preferring casual relationships over more long term ones.


Whatever it is, your decisions have lead to you being single and almost 40 years old. And we all know in Asian culture, that is as good as being unmarried for rest of your life.


Guys too who as in their 30s but single also need to ask why. This problem isn't just for girls, any guy still a virgin at 30 has problems too..

maybe, unlike you, they have their own priorities and relationships and marriage isn't their top priority atm

dont assume everyone is the same as you. Relationships are a choice, and deciding not to have a partner is also a choice.

Sendiri flame the burning fire.

Come on la, sendiri gosok pet pet also.

One day the wifey will knock on your door and gave you a bitches slap.

This post has been edited by InitialB: Feb 16 2021, 11:08 AM

I said single.

It's fine if marriage isnt your priority, but to remain single in your 40s and welcome the advances of a married man?

Are you a home wrecker? Why play with fire when there are other single, unattached men out there.

This post has been edited by Liamness: Feb 17 2021, 09:29 AM

so are you saying that it is wrong to be single in your 40s?

i see victim blaming here. She didn't initiate the conversation, the guy did.

I said you should consider the reasons why you are single.

Some are by choice. More power to them.. If you are by choice, then why the heck are you flirting with a married man? Seems very conflicting to your stance of remaining single by choice, no?..

And if you are single not by choice, then again, perhaps one of the biggest reasons why you are still single is because you are flirting with a taken guy..

It's that simple really. TS isn't a victim.. sure, she didn't initiate the convo, but carrying on with it and leading it on towards something that will only end up with her being hurt or rejected or still remaining as a single 40 year old is entirely on her and the way she carries herself.

Stop protecting her. It's not doing her any good.. She needs to recognise that actions do carry consequences..

for all your previous comment, i do not quite understand the pulling effect.

(pulling) the main benefit from him to you is academic maybe a little bit of feel good factor in the sense of still got ppl flirting with you?

(pushing) he lied about almost everything

in your late 30s you take master for interest? unless you are in academic path say teacher / lecturer, or have plan to PHD, else i do not see first grade and passing will affect your career unless you are very low rank ( graduate trainee still).

AFAIK those have many years in working, even having a new master in CV won't help in $$$ cause boss / HR don't care.

Anyway to cut all the less important mention previously, your conscience tell you it is wrong, then why not just tell him in face i just want to copy your academic not anything else. Anything outta academic is none of my biz.
It just like in the forum, not many will care about your real name

I'm confuse. The next page I clicked, suddenly it's a debate of virgin or not.

So TS, what was your question again?

cant blame her for being single,
cant blame her when she got approached by the guy,
so now blame her for carrying and leading it on.
Also denying that she is the victim in this situation

so many words victimizing her but not a single one blaming the guy. Sounds to me you are too eager to blame her. Why? Subconsciously trying to justify your own actions?

do you know the guys part of the story?

Is the guy in this thread looking for advise?

So there's no point in talking about the guy..

There's only outcome and solutions meant for TS.

dismiss and deny.

so now from blaming her now you are concerned for the victim that you want to help her out of this issue?

only person who can truly help her is herself. Hence why I am asking her to introspect what lead to this outcome in the first place.

And if she's honest with herself, it probably has alot to do with still being single at 40..

didnt know you cared so much for her wellbeing.

no introspection needed. Its people like you who should mind their own business and not criticize and judge people for their decisions

you do realise this is a public forum, where everyone can see your posts and free to leave their comments and opinions.

We don't live in a bubble wrap world of yours, buddy. Protected and sheltered from the harsh realities of life..


It's simple. Always start by assuming you are at fault. And you get out of it by asking yourself the hardest questions.

So why is TS still single at 40?

Does it matter? What i dont get is the automatic blaming of one party and instant dismissal of the other when both are equally involved.

There is nothing wrong about being single at 40. You are the one having a problem with it.

So take your own advice and assume that you are at fault.

What happened to TS?
Still in touch with the horny merrid man?

nobody is proportioning full blame on TS.

And part of self improvement is to accept full responsibility anyways. Even if it isn't completely your fault. Self improvement involves accepting that all outcomes could have been controlled or managed by your subsequent actions.

Likewise, nobody is stopping you from blaming the guy too. But as far as I'm concerned, what he does is irrelevant for us over here.. We are here to discuss about what TS can do to prevent it from occuring again..

Unless of course, she's/was looking for some action and drama in her life. Which makes whatever you are saying here to protect TS, is irrelevant. Also, the guys actions or fault is totally vindicated; since he correctly found a girl who wanted the attention in the first place..

So which is it? Do you want to improve on yourself? Then accept full responsibility. OR do you want to blame the guy and act passively about it?

What you are suggesting to TS is to be passive and just let him run the tractor over you..