anyone with experience can share your thoughts?

considering to borrow 5-figure amount from my mother-in-law to get out from a difficult situation. she is already retired and she can afford the amount. so far my relationship with her considered positive. but it will be a secret to my wife because she is a key person in this situation i'm facing and if I don't settle it, she will be very, very upset and just want to settle this issue without upseting her, better for her to not know. but this issue has nothing to do with crime or infidelity. it's just money issue.

as for repayment, i'm quite confident to be able to repay my mother-in-law fully within 3 years, even if not, will repay as long as i can until complete. she's in her 60's.

edit: loan agents no need to pm me because i don't want to pay interest. thanks.

This post has been edited by gangeun: Oct 20 2020, 10:38 AM

I read your topic and I don't know what do you want.

Do not hide from her. If she is the reason, better keep her in picture. Do you have anything to lose from her knowing it? But you definitely have plenty of explanation to do if she knows you took from her mom.
Don't strain relationship with your MIL.

borrow money from mother-in-law. still not sure to borrow or not.

her mom can keep secret, because she knows how her daughter will respond to my situation.
if i borrow, i only need to repay her mom. but if my wife knows about the current situation, she might upset till consider leaving me. i have been thinking about all the scenario for a few nights already, and she leaving me is the worst scenario.

tell ur wife
borrow from MIL

Hard to advice without context, also don’t take your MIL for granted. She’s not your money tree, at least offer to pay back with interest

tell my wife even if it's the worst possible scenario?

If your wife is the cause of your getting into debt, you NEED to tell her. Because, what's there to stop her from doing it again?!

how much? 10%?

no it's not getting into debt, but lost our money in trading due to my own fault.

Better to be honest with your wife.

If later she finds out the situation, more worst as you didn't tell her

Aiyo. Shit. This one sure kena belasah one.

Sorry bro... this one I really don't have any helpful advise... BUT, be warned: your mother in law is your wife's MOTHER. Blood is still thicker than water. She might go and spill the beans on you... and then, fcuk me dead, shit will REALLY hit the fan.

ok... guess i have no other choice but just face her then...
i envy you jack2 you profit a lot from crypto. actually the money i lost is in trading crypto futures.

jst face ur wife and tell the truth of losing money in trading .... if u borrow frm MIL and she finds out i think is even worse

Offer to pay back with interest, and it’s up to her goodwill if she want to let you borrow without interest.

Anyway why don’t want to borrow from your own family instead of MIL?

my family is broke

How sure are you your MIL is willing to lend you that money?

Better discuss with your wife first before going through your MIL, you do not want the relationship to turn sour because of money.

about 70% sure.

but if actually talk to my wife, then i don't even need the money, because my wife will determine i live or die.

Every man wants to be a provider to and for his family. Your foray into crypto can be seen as an attempt to secure an alternate source/stream of income to help improve the family's financial standing. As with any thing else, there's always an element of risk. If you explain your rationale to your wife and speak to her honestly and humbly, I don't see any reason why she would blow up at you.

It's different if you played the market to make money to fund your mistress... that one, lain cerita. That one, dewa pun tarak pakai to save you from her wrath.

MIL will be the last person in my list to borrow money from, moreover she is already in her 60's who knows ur MIL will be in financial difficulties also in near future, unless u are 100% sure she has the financial capabilities and that 5 figures is just a tiny portion of her assets

Frankly she might blow her top...

BUT... i dont see a wife leaving for merely 60k... infact most of the time women wouldnt leave for money, its trust/fidelity/emotional reason that they leave

thanks for the kind words bro. i'll confess and accept the consequence anyhow.
no mistress. i talk kok a lot but i only want her in my life.

she's not the typical illiterate pasar aunty but has been investing and already accumulated quite some wealth one, also supermom and kind, i'm thankful to have in-law like her. but nvm, i won't borrow to risk the relationship.

Good husband. Good luck bro!

yes tell

if u lie now
u need to use new lie to cover old lies
and its never ending

one day when ur relationship with ur MIL turn sour, she will tell ur wife
at that time it will be worst



This post has been edited by ahchun: Oct 20 2020, 03:40 PM

why dont lend from your parents instead? lending from in law is worst man.....

Imagine what would her mom think? cant even take care of her daughter.

Edited: Read everything and I still dont suggest to lend money from MIL. This can go from worst to even worst.. I wish u all the best brother. I think i saw u posting the same in reddit MalaysiaPF

This post has been edited by Zenph: Oct 20 2020, 06:27 PM

Not necessary to involve mil.

If you dont want to pay interest, you problem cannot be solved.

Tell you wife about it and your plans how to go about solving the problem except borrowing from mil. Tell her your mistake and poor judgement investment and plea for her understanding. Definite she gonna get mad, but accept it and dont fight back. Inform her that certain unimportant family expenses need to be reduced or stopped while you sort out the money problem.

Personal loan is your only option.

This is not a financial advise but DON'T and I mean DON'T defend what you did. You might have your reason to dump the money in, but in her eyes and losing that big sum of money in the spur of moment she might just blow up at you (don't know your wife character but high possibility).

Just set the expectation first. Just apologies and say nothing. Everything you say will be used against you. Saying the wrong thing might haunt you rest of your life.

Do come up with a high level plan in mind on how to save back up the money without her sacrificing much if she ask.

Speculating is more like gambling, you are hoping to win. Ts should just get over with the loss and dont borrow from anyone. Just start saving from scratch.

Good to have richer in-law than poor in-law...

my wife always give money to her family.... 6-figures already to bail out their family business.... until she hutang with me... can't repay.

Borrow from in-law is ok if you can repay it. Your wife just want face.

No it’s not okay, especially if you are going straight to your MIL without going through your wife.

Honesty is the best policy. Talk to your wife.

You are right.

He's trying to hide the fact he "gambled" their savings and then try to borrow money and cover the losses.

And the worse thing is he wanted to borrow from her because he didn't need to pay interest and god knows whether he really will pay back or not..

Ok enough with the assumptions. I have replied above that I won't be borrowing and will confess.

hope to hear the outcome

Yes bro, good luck and let us know how it turned out please.

I planned to tell her tonight, but just received news that she's having some abnormal health complications and she's currently taking a rest. I'm heartbroken.

OH dear. Best of luck to both of you and a speedy recovery to her!

This post has been edited by hksgmy: Oct 22 2020, 09:24 PM

Can you apply for PL to sort it out first. You can tell her later when her health and mental well being improve ... unless you think she has a chunk of money to help you.

I can't afford to service any loan bigger than the one I have now. I barely can survive until month end.

How about your siblings or parents ?

How do you intend your wife to help you after telling her your situation ?

How much RM to settle? Have a car fully paid ?

This post has been edited by mini orchard: Oct 22 2020, 06:23 PM

RM20K loan in debt. That's all for now.

big farking NO.

u wanna do it behind ur wife's back - NO

u wanna pay back without interest? - NO

u wanna pay back in a few years? - NO

go get from your own parents or siblings.

u are gonna spoil ur trust with ur wife, and her relationship with her mum. you are hiding this from your wife, is it because of ego? looks to me u are preying on ur MIL.. If its not for anything stupid, i think u can discuss with ur wife and work it out. ur wife got savings to help u? or she helped u too much and now u dont want to let her know because she gonna hentam u?





EDIT : Ok, at least u come to ur senses and not borrowing. good luck, hope its not ahlong debt.

This post has been edited by pisces88: Oct 22 2020, 06:30 PM

Hopefully is not along debt.

Is the creditor chasing you for repayment, otherwise work out an installment plan.

Worst, sell your car if can cover the debt.

no it's from bank.

Bank loan 20k? Bank now offer crypto????

Even ypur wife don't trust you with lots of money. Should be something.

if u need zero interest, use balance transfer from bank up to 1 year. or 7% one time off fee from public bank for 3 years.

can explain more about how both works?

kawan. the key to a healthy relationship is honesty.

sounds like u need to have heart to heart talk with ur wife regarding ur financial issue.

Tell your wife and you are dead for sure.

Even if you confess to her...she might still stick around, but u will never have a same wife again...

Best settle with MIL and payback fast

10000 or 99999 first?
Also why you borrow from your wife mom when you dont even tell your wife. Like dat no back bone. You better tell your wife first or else later she find out she will chop you

Somethimg is not right with your story.

If you cannot afford anymore loan, how can you even consider balance transfer ?

This post has been edited by mini orchard: Oct 22 2020, 07:44 PM

I don't know what 'balance transfer' means.

I explain...

Is to 'borrow' from another credit card bank to pay your current bank cc outstanding. One time interest applicable.

The minute you default, penalty interest apply.

This post has been edited by mini orchard: Oct 22 2020, 07:52 PM

I see... better not, cc interest very high. My current loan is PL.

Work part time after work and weekend to earn money to pay your PL.

Do something on your own to sort it out. At least your wife will understand instead of relying on others to sort it out for you. She be angry and upset, but things will cool down after you settle your loan and DONT repeat.

better borrow from banks than family members, even if your MIL is fine with it now, can you be sure that she won't be in a few years or months time?

treat the interest from banks as punishment for your mistake, will make you more cautious in your future investment, now it seems you are being bailed out with minor repercussion.

with your mindset (MIL are able to afford it), can you make certain that you won't do the same mistake again?

What have you done, young man? If it's 20k PL from bank, I assume they've checked your details even before approval is given? What puts you in such desperate situation right now? Did you lose your income?

The quote below most reflect the reply I'd have given you.
1. Never go behind your wife's back. You start this little thing then it grows bigger and when you realize what happened, you've messed up the relationship.

2. Never even borrow money from family members if possible. Worse if elderly. Everything comes with a price and don't even let me begin talking about we are a family, why need to return kinda attirude. Yes, you're desperate now you can promise heaven and earth to return the money, but once you get the money, human pride tends to come back. It's just the nature of human.

3. As a man, deal with integrity in the things you've messed up. Never take the easy way out, especially at the expense of a relationship honesty and retirement fund of an elderly, regardless of what relationship you both have. I don't touch my parents money I've stated to them clearly it's for them to enjoy life it's fruits of their labor so they should enjoy it. So don't dare to even think you deserve borrowing from your mil.

Your case is fortunate as you are dealing with banks which offer ok ok interest rate as compared to along. I hope you can find a solution to it soon.

I agree with the others that borrowing from your MIL behind your wife's back is a bad idea. The issue will be there permanently and may leak out even after the loan is repaid.

Why do you fear your wife will leave you if you bring up your financial problem to her? It's nothing to do with infidelity, just a trading mistake. Everybody has made mistakes before.

Do talk it over with your wife and discuss possible solutions. If she suggests borrowing from her mother, then fine go ahead.

I hope you get a good outcome.

she will know sooner or later

This is TS problem ....

Borrowing from anyone or banks are out of his equation. He needs to find ways to earn extra income. His problem is not able to repay his current PL on time hence penalty interest and worried the bank will proceed with legal action.

His initial intention to borrow from mil is to avoid paying interest and to repay her as and when he has extra money....flexible repayment, no pressure and HOPING mil will write-off the loan. After reading the many comments, his senses strike him that it wasnt a good idea.

TS has to find extra work to compliment his PL repayment, no 2 way about it.

No. I have no issue servicing this loan even with the interest. I just need to somehow get back the money I lost, within 3 months.

This post has been edited by gangeun: Oct 23 2020, 09:36 AM

Stop chasing after 'bad investment'. Is not your level.

If no debt, why need to borrow from MIL? Got Ah Long come to chop you?

You lose money in shares, stop loss lah.

How old are you?

lowyat have topic on this, u can read and ask questions there: https://forum.lowyat.net/topic/3918057

most ppl use this as alternative for cash zero interest.

He is chasing bad money with good money ... hoping for luck is the word.

This post has been edited by mini orchard: Oct 23 2020, 10:34 AM

So part of the loss is your wife's money and you are trying to hide it from her.

Don't get yourself into more serious problems trying to cover up your 'not-so-serious' problem. Just be honest and tell her about it. Promise to earn back the money and repay her.

What's the worst which can happen? She is not going to leave you because of some lost money is she? Some men don't understand their wives and just assume the worst which is way too imaginative.

I prefer to tell her when I'm at least in the process of raising the fund back, even if not fully. If just apology and promise, I don't think she can accept.

I wont know the whole story but all what i know is money can destroy relationship

TS should know his wife better than all of us.

Not sure what you want to get from this post but you know the best from your relationship with your MIL whether borrowing money from her is something she can accept or not.

As to doing it behind the wife, not sure what is the reason but you have to hide it for 3 years or more until the loan is repaid. For example whenever have financial issues maybe the wife will bring up say where you spent your money etc? You have to find excuses to lie to her, which doing it for long term will bocor. Plus your MIL might spilled the word accidentally or when some unfavourable incident affected your relationship with your MIL and she might be tempted to reveal this.