Hi all, today I feel like I'm in rock bottom of my life again...

I'm 31 years old now but I keep on making stupid mistake...today I just lose all my money in gambling....

For last 10 years, I was nt making money at all, keep on wasting money..making my family worry...thats why I decided to moved to thailand 2 years ago, I told myself I need to change myself to better...1st year in thai, I met my ex gf..i thought we gonna get marry..i even propose to her..bought house and car under her name..because during that time..my income slip not allow me to loan..but 1 year later..i found out she cheated me..i broke up with her..

Then last year, I met my fiance...i was making money till early of this year 2020, I got retrenched by company...i got no income and I was stuck in thailand....during my idle..i got involved online gambling...winning then losing...till today..finally I lose all my saving...

I took the courage to tell my fiance...she forgive me but she told me if she caught me gamble again..she will leave me...

I just realised im 30s now but I dont even have saving on my own..now im jobless...
Feel so worthless...yesterday i do feel like just jump of the building and end this...but im a coward...all i could think off my family will be sad if I did anything stupid..

I tried to cry, I tried to hit myself for being idiot...
I been feel anxiety since I got retrenched and sometimes I got panic attack...i just can't breath anymore...


Thanks for reading...

Age is just a number. Don't compare with others, instead compare with your current self and after you have calm down, set very realistic goals and stick to it.

Nobody is going to discipline you to follow your goals, because ITS YOUR LIFE. You wan happy life? Work towards it and remember you are working against it if you go gambling again and you will just end up in this bottom pit again. SO ABSORB AND BE VERY AWARE THIS LOWEST POINT FEELING AND REMEMBER THIS FEELING every time you feels like gambling again.

Losing your saving is not as bad as borrowing from Ah long, i hope you can go through this since you still have fiance who still love you. Everyone is affected by the economy so dont blame yourself for retrench. Dont seek for shortcut, stay strong.

Thank you so much...ya..im trying to pick myself up again....

Yes..thank you so much..
Me and my fiance been separated for 3 months plus due to this pandemic...she is stuck in china..im stuck in thailand...hope to see her soon though...

I'm trying to pick myself up..no more shortcut...

You are not as hopeless as you mention. The fact that you realized all your mistakes on throwing away your money on gambling and starting to reflect on your actions, is already the first step to recover on your life. Another important thing you need to know is that since you already at your rock bottom, and you are not dead emotionally and physically, what else can break you down?

Many times people think of themselves hitting the rock bottom but never think that this is actually a turning point in life. You can always learn more thru failures than success. Because success boosts one's self esteem and would make someone too ego. Conversely, the qualities you learnt thru hardships are priceless and you would remember them forever. I promise you if you start picking up on yourself consistently, your story will inspire many.

Just like Wang Lei, the best live streamer selling all sort of stuff. He was a gambling addict, and his family members that never gamble, put a bet on him that he would change. Just like your situation, your fiancee that never gambles, put her biggest bet in life on you wishing you would change.

You can no longer worry about the negative side. What to expect from rock bottom? It is the lights from the top. Work yourself to the top man. All the best.

Thanks bro...ya..Im picking myself now