My husband and I got married in January this year.

When we first moved into our condo (Penang), we noticed intermittent screaming and noises coming from the space adjacent to our living room, especially at night. We later found out that the source of the noise was caused by our neighbour’s child, who has autism.

Yes, we did sympathise the kid. Therefore we have tried to ignore and tolerate the noise for 6 months, however, this child’s screaming, screeching and playing of keys at random time of day is taking a toll on my mental and emotional health. I can't sleep well. This has occurred to the point that I can no longer enjoy my personal time and space at the condo. It is very upsetting.

We have been tolerating this disturbance, hoping that the situation will improve following our complaint made to the guard/management but the situation proved otherwise.

We have talked to the child’s mother and had hoped that they could cooperate and minimize the noise level but nothing has changed. Loud clinking of keys are still heard intermittently throughout the day. We talked to the mother for the second time but the mother was defensive and uncooperative. We even suggest some alternatives for them i.e: let the kid plays with other stuff that don't make so much noise, or go to the room and play. But they are unwilling to compromise.

We are already stressed and tired emotionally dealing with this situation, yet our condo management/guard are not helping us to resolve this. We were told to accept, in other words, to tolerate this disturbance simply because of the child’s condition. It is unfair for us to endure this disturbance on a daily basis.

I think I am going to go crazy soon
Any advice on how to deal with this situation?
Thank you for your time to read this post.

Move out.

We spent a lot on renovation etc.. Only been staying here for 6 months

Spend more to soundproof the walls, doors and windows.

move out or they move out

Move out is a better option

I you don't keep thinking about the problem, then it will get away.

You can insulate from external noise through door and windows as well.

Probably this is your best option, even if you move out, that doesn't guarantee the next place you move to won't have noise issue or other issue.

Just bear with it. You think the parents are happy to bear it for life? They don't need you to add salt to the wound. Be empathetic. You too will have a child someday. Buy ear plug to reduce noise.

Or you can just buy a good speaker and play some background music and insulate your house like a studio.

If on the cheap, use corkboard or egg cartons for the walls. Make sure to overlapped each pieces.

Sacrifice 1 foot length of space and build another concrete wall parallel to the existing wall with the noise will reduce that noise greatly. Kinda like "double glazed windows" effect.

The screaming should reduce. The tapping maybe not so much as its lower frequency. Subwoofer sound (bass) cannot be insulated easily, you're lucky its not the subwoofer noise.

This post has been edited by ceo684: Jul 9 2020, 01:25 PM

Sound insulation is the best solution.

One can choose a property but not a neighbour.

Treat it as a bad purchased.

Spending more money on sound proofing is throwing more money on a bad purchased which cannot guaranteed a solution.

You cant solve your neighbour's problem but you can do something on yours.

This post has been edited by mini orchard: Jul 9 2020, 03:26 PM

stop thinking about it.. after a while u will get used to it

So moviy out is not the option..

Then u better sound proofing your unit...
Yes. More cost.. but it's still better for your own good.. since u guys says no moving away...

Let's get this straight.

Autism is a condition no one can have control over. It is something no self-respecting parent would their child to have, nor get rid of. The stress levels they get with a child of such condition are way off the roof.
I highly insist you read up more on Autism and how parents have to try to cope with them.

You speak of being unfair you have to deal with neighbours like these, what makes you think it's "fair" for them to have such a child? Or to deal with them on daily basis, for the rest of the child's life?
They already have a shitload of stress to deal, and now with you "telling them make/let the kid play something else" and as if you know more than they do on how to handle kids with autism when you're yet to be a parent yourself? How can the mother not be defensive when having to face with people like this?

There's nothing fair about the situation. You did not chose to have such neighbours, nor did they chose to have a child with such condition. Don't label them as bad neighbours.

Some already said, either you deal with it, or you move out. Or if you want to be a--holes, get your neighbours to move out.

You mentioned you've already spent a lot with renovation. You can either spend more into looking at ways to further sound-proof your unit (if possible, i.e. thicker windows, door seals, etc.), or weigh which is more important = your mental health (as you've mentioned) or the money you had spent on your renovation.

Either or, there is no easy way of dealing with the situation you are facing.

Sorry, the more I read your post, the more upset I became, as if you are blaming the problem on your neighbours. But understand this, it's not the neighbours who are intentionally putting you through this, and that also they are dealing with the same thing you are. Also note this is something you can escape from, but not themselves.

Love thy neighbor

Can request them to put egg trays on the wall. (for cheap solution)

But a better way is to share the cost to install some sort of sound proofing solution.

Settle It amicably

bruh i have a 25+ autistic neighbor son who have a tendency to sing karaoke on mic non stop.
at first it was kinda annoying especially he sings early in the morning on a weekend, but then after a few months i kinda got use to it, my ear somehow just filter out the noise lol
he still does this occasionally tho, but i usually spend my days away from the house anyway so it doesn't bother me much

you cant blame TS also i know the feeling
everyone can defend an autistic behaviour online, its so easy to be seen as the 'good' guy
unless you experienced it, then you can't judge TS also
your home should be your sanctuary, TS has the rights to be annoyed
you also have bad parents who dont control their kid's condition, unable to accept their kid is 'special' and not seek professional treatment
is it their financial struggle that they did not send the kid for help, i don't know and I won't assume, but you being upset while reading TS post just labels you as a typical snowflake like those #BlackLivesMatter rioters

Is like ...

Everyone likes pasar malam but none want to have it infront of their house.

Damn bro exactly same condition, but I'm on landed house so the sound is not as loud

Just like Mosques in Tamans.

I already filter out and can sleep like a baby.

Bertolak ansur

100%, not their fault. You need to move to another place and keep on praying your future kids will not have any medical problems.

100% not their fault if those parents have initiative to help their children to grow
but if the parents just leave it as it is, then the parents are 200% at fault,
praying is for lazy people, real actions speak louder

if in an airplane you sit beside a crying child but the parents are trying to handle, then it is understandable because the parents are initiative
but if the child kept on crying and the parents dont care and leave it as it is, then what will you say from your own statement?

100% agreed.
Don't act overly 大爱。
Google if u don't understand what it means.

Hello, I can feel that living in a condo will be having the worse experience.
Which part of Penang that you are living in a condo. You're not alone here.
Sometimes neighbor doing renovation. Can hear the noise like so loud.
Or even bird chirping outside even Windows are closed.

Sometimes during the night, can hear like dragging furniture, coins dropping and whatsoever.
Not only condo having this kind of experience. Even LANDED sometimes got one sounds.
Went to one house. The room inside can hear noises, must be the pipe running.
Only one of the room having the noise while other rooms are very quiet.

Sometimes even nearly so late until 12AM still can hear the noise and it is damn annoying.
Once you got one baby, you will have to experience more if your child has autism disorder.
Not every child will have. When children was little, more noise until they grow up then you won't feel emotional or distress with this. Like crying in the middle of the night affected your sleeps.

Maybe you can try to put soundproofing. Close doors if necessarily.
Put thicker doors and put soundproofing for the Windows.
If these solutions don't help you. I may suggest you to get soundproofing ear plug.
Like those using working in a loud place where sounds are too loud for them to work.

As for the autism child, if you already convince the mother and the child still making noise.
Don't blame the mother's as maybe the child kept doing the same thing everyday as the mother told the child not to do that. The mother is trying to stop him but the child still doing the same thing.
Imagine as a Teacher in Homeschooling.Told the students not to use Bad Words.
Until then, they ( Students ) refuse to listen the teacher. Every time the teacher kept telling them until the teacher don't bother already. It's like when you tell/scold someone not to do this and they refuse to listen to you and then you don't care about them already.

It is difficult to take care of autism child, sometimes during public, cry there and there non stop.
Worse thing is the child run so fast until you can't chase them. I have seen this kind of experience before.
Once you got baby and you will experience the same thing until when they reach older.
Sometimes not only autism child. Even normal children shouting and running around the corridor.
Or even adults talking so loud and laughing. Or sneezing or coughing. Or even people do party.
We can hear them sneezing from the kitchen area. Almost everyday I heard the same sneezing and coughing sound.

Soundproof your unit

Crying baby and autism is 2 different thing. There are many stages of autism. Mild autism / age below 16 y.o of course you can handle it, but the critical one, 20 y.o plus, I seen it.. they have so much energy and become stronger.. you need at least 2 adults to take him down if things going worse. parent lost their job just to take care of their special kid.

This post has been edited by myrancid: Jul 9 2020, 10:38 PM

yeah, it overact

but autism and naughty child are 2 different thing.

Autism is OKU, he and his parent unable control his behavior, treatment can improve the situation but unable cure it.
Autism is unable to be fully cure.

For TS case, even call police, the police unable do anything. Nobody able stop the autism(serious) child even the doctor

Have you dealt with an autistic person before?

Agreed..
If got temples also needed to accepts the sounds...
Especially festival times...