You seem damn stressed man, kesian. But you must understand. If you live ur life for other people, esp people like ur mum who forever not happy with you no matter what u do, it will damage ur mental health. U can try to talk to her to let her know you always feel pressure from her, that u r never good enough for her. Mother should not treat children like that...if she dowan listen, then just keep to yourself, and stop attaching your self worth to how well ur mum treats u. U are worth something to yourself, dont let other people take that away from u.

As for your job ah, that one damn jialat, after scholarship u wan work but they also dont give, quite unfair la. I'm sorry that ur mattress sunk, PS4 spoil, etc. I know life very hard. We can only try our best and hope it works. Jiayou, dont 14th floor. And while you keep trying your best to improve ur life, if u tired or sad again next time, u can find support on lowyat and talk to people la, maybe we can help ur mood sometimes. Gambateh bro