Hearing from your story I feel sorry about your relationship. However, listen 1 side from you make me feel biased towards you and I think your husband should come out here to post his story in this forum. He is an IT/Tech guy for sure Lowyat forum is a frequent place for him to visit.

From my opinion, there are communication breakdown in between both of you. I believe your husband his hiding his some unsatisfied things that you have done previously which he might voice out but you have ignored him.
For example, maybe he found out you are flirting some one outside or someone is trying to flirt or have intention to win your heart yet you denied it and said it is just friend. Many girl like to use this kind of excuse especially those people doing marketing or business dealing with people or socialist people. I do not said you do this but is just as an example.

If your husband pushing you away on bed, there is something might make him turn off towards you or he changed his taste into men but I think impossible because gay usually love to do house chores and you said he don't like to help you doing house chores or work. Other reason might be having affair with other women outside but I don't think so because reality this kind of people can eat both until the spouse catch it.

I can say 60% people divorce due to the unfaithful spouse, 20% Financial problem, 20% domestic violent and 10% other reasons. For your case, i feel it fall under 60% category either you or him only.

Last question, your second house purchase, do you include husband name as ownership of the house? If yes, he is really a CB husband and if no, you are CB wife because asking husband to help finance but he have no ownership to the house. Anyway I feel many hidden story is not told here but only things that you dissatisfy to your husband. Usually when the wife have make this decision, I think there is no turning back to change her mind. So, I wish you all the best with your new life.