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SUSAsquith
post May 21 2020, 12:32 AM, updated 4y ago

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-del-

This post has been edited by Asquith: Nov 12 2020, 10:19 PM
Avex
post May 21 2020, 12:40 AM

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Get a divorce and quit that business, it is not yours and don't step into that turf.
toos99
post May 21 2020, 12:40 AM

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Question. Why would you want to divorce your wife too?
prophecus
post May 21 2020, 12:42 AM

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this is why a family run business is more challenging than others. I guess first thing first, you need to have a Family constitution. You need to discuss with the rest on how to make the written rules and how to adhere with it. in internet there is plenty of books about family business constitution.
muhibah
post May 21 2020, 12:45 AM

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Probably something you don't want to hear but it is better u sort out this issue as family. The way you write down the whole thing is like threating everybody like colleagues

I support you to resign but then sort it out with your wife as married couple and then with your in laws. Family is everything
bee88
post May 21 2020, 12:45 AM

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You and your mil different race n religion?
nate_nightroad
post May 21 2020, 12:47 AM

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Chill the f out first

U can resign but dont have to divorce the missus

Business is business but family is more important
precept66
post May 21 2020, 12:59 AM

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Resign and get your new job. Try to save your marriage as it may have tone down after you left their company.
burn22
post May 21 2020, 01:01 AM

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if me, resign dulu, and get a job there!!
bila job dah settle, baru settle sama bini. if there is still luv, can still save the marriage. it is hard to work in family run business, when you are just an outsider. walaupun you are son-in-law, darah daging sendiri are their priority to continue the legacy...

SUSxingai
post May 21 2020, 01:10 AM

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QUOTE(Asquith @ May 21 2020, 12:32 AM)
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*
Better talk about it before you went forward with the resignation, divorce, and moving to competitor's faction. There's a lot more than literally jumping ship from one to another due to many personal reasons, and also because of its family-related business.

No idea are you a Malay get mixed into a Chinese Family or another way round, Chinese people has this word called "You don't let the fertile water flow to another person's soil." always remember that this will cause many disputes, especially due to you being a family member went to get blended into another faction, and also because of your MIL. I think this is a normal occurrence to any family business.

It is the same to my wife, as I am going to share so you can see how my wife handle it instead. Her brother opened a noodle restaurant (150 tables) in Beijing. Sifu teach disciple kind of business, where my wife, had money on her younger time, paid the sifu to teach her big bro how to make noodles. Now the noodle store is opened, business is good, but expansion need loads of budget. Then my wife, by that time is married to me seven years ago, fork our me and her savings to support her big bro's shop renovation. Me and my wife literally paid for at least 70% of the business expansion and works.

But now, our Sister in Law are debating about without their hard work, the shop won't be opened and expand into this level. Paying money is nothing because without big bro's handcraft, and her effort to kutip payment without calculating wrong, the business won't be able to make money. A business that operates for over eleven years, my wife did not ask for her part of investment.

Instead, the SIL used all the money earned from that business to support their dotter until now studying in an acting school, the younger boy studying in Beijing's international college (Its a mix of primary 1 to A level if Im not wrong), changed into driving a landrover, and wearing pearl necklace, this and that jewelry while working inside their restaurant.

Does this turned out to be right for me and my wife?

But at the end of the day, we decided to not say anything. No point picking out the wrong and right between two families, and the money that already spent on them, just let it be and wish them luck and not to ask us for any support in the future (Im sure my wife gonna help again if they asked).

You might wanna look at yourself, where did you do wrong in term of smoothing out the relationship between all of you.

Always remember, you as a Son In Law might has -0000000000.1% chance to inherite the damn business, but you as a Son In Law has the right to make yourself as a son of your MIL. Divorce sometimes, might be a good solution for temporary, but does it works?

Me and my wife, did has a few big arguments too. Such as on our first year of marriage, she's tak boleh bertelur. We play League of Legend almost for years before she finally get preggie at 2018, and gave birth on 2019. Now 2020, my dotter genap 2 years old as per counted by Chinese calender. Or maybe because I bought my 3rd and 4th apartment for Airbnb without even consulting her. (bought a total of 4 million cost properties, without blinking my shitty eyes. Got slapped by my wife dunno how many times d)

Stay safe, and stay sane. Relationship can be mend, life mistakes, on another side, cannot be amended. There's no cure for regret, but there's cure for being sorry as you're almost made a mistake.
Oltromen Ripot
post May 21 2020, 06:13 AM

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Resign under reason that you can no longer separate professional and familial conflict. But don't appear to them like you have immediate failover in another company. Explain to your FIL that you are putting importance on saving your family and marriage first above family's business.

Divorce should be avoided firstly, and only as last recourse if and when MIL, et.al. still insists on intruding in affairs after you resigned. Also consider the possibilities that your wife is unknowingly and innocently just being a pawn of her damily.
Current Events guy
post May 21 2020, 06:49 AM

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Where is your FIL in all of this?

You don't talk about him which makes me think that he isn't the problem. Can he be a solution?

Also, you know him better than us. Is the reason you didn't mention him because he's the type to kowtow to wife demands?
SUSPitiuran
post May 21 2020, 08:35 AM

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This remind me of that spore case
Where the husband divorce the wife and inherited the business his father in law passed to him during his marriage to his daufhter
FIL call him to meet in kopitiam to negotiate back the biz
But he refused
So FIL stab him with knife to death

Also diff race issue
Chrix
post May 21 2020, 09:27 AM

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Seems MIL is the puppet master, since FIL business. From your description, seems they all taking other side which is not your's.

Divorce first (long winded), business they can let u go at an instant (legal issues aside).

All this assuming your are being 100% transparent on what has transpired la at least.
eligible
post May 21 2020, 09:37 AM

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QUOTE(Asquith @ May 21 2020, 12:32 AM)
» Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «

*
I didn't have great biz like you.
but I have a long relationship like you.

suggestion: Take a time off from your family and wife for 3 months. live alone and reflect. Who knows, the Father of Time will give you answers.

warning: Do not make decision based on emotion / feelings, trust me, you wouldn't want to regret over it. (yes today you may not regret, 2 years down the road, you might)

Lastly,
Take a break, give a moment for yourself and reflect. Write it down. (stop complaining, stop being ungrateful)
Lyu
post May 21 2020, 09:39 AM

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Why u wanna divorce ur wife?

V429
post May 21 2020, 09:44 AM

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QUOTE(Lyu @ May 21 2020, 09:39 AM)
Why u wanna divorce ur wife?
*
https://forum.lowyat.net/topic/4965210
Sedih
post May 21 2020, 09:50 AM

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Go for it.
Milano7
post May 21 2020, 09:53 AM

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do it at the same time but be prepared.

high chance they gonna try fuck u up, try to think of angles that they can use before u do it.
SaberCortez
post May 21 2020, 09:57 AM

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I think u should quit, land a job first, then divorce your wife.

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