Yeah, I'm 25 and single. So.. Anyone else have this feeling where, the older you go, the more the scary thought of "Oh, I will never find a date / gf / cuz I'm not getting any younger". That thought seriously scares me.

I've tried Tinder, Tan Tan, and so far thats the only 2 I tried. How does dating even works these days??

I need tips. And no, simply walking up to a girl its like a creeper move.

Ppl keep telling me, "you're still young, you're still young". Erm... I'm only as young as my age. And let's face it, the older guys go, the harder it is to find. Especially in this day and age. Dating used to be so simple. Now dating apps are just filled with attention seeking insta models. I swear, I swiped more lefts than rights.

This post has been edited by Post-Je-Ape-Ape: May 17 2020, 12:03 AM

perhaps you should swipe right more and get to know someone instead of judging their picture/profile. sometimes they can be incredible people/personality behind the profile. ask for lunch or drink. talk and see how it goes.

simply walking up to a girl is not a creepy move, it depend on how you approach. sometimes thing just happen like that.

same age here, nothing to worry about, in fact the older you get, the more powerful you'll be in financial terms, which opens up to higher end of girl quality for dating, you know what, a 30 y/o guy snatched my girl (same age) away about 2 years ago, there's nothing wrong about aging in man, it will only get better.

1st tip is to drop dating apps, they're useless, filled with garbage matches, wont get anyhting meaningful from it, thats my conclusion after giving a fair shot to dating apps.

Either you meet people in real life (classes, work, social circle), or you get to know via online.

I have much success in online due to i have small social circle, i dont get to meet girls in person often, i just randomly add pretty girls in FB, and try to chat with them, if they dont respond then let it go, sometimes they did respond and things will keep progressing and eventually dating.

I find it much better adding girls in FB compared to dating apps, people in dating apps swipe each other, while FB is not meant for that, FB girl could be not using dating apps and if they interested in you and reply, they're most likely focusing on you rather than swiping here and there like tinder. The key difference is the purpose of the social platform.

Last but not least, you gotta be handsome i guess, it's online after all, they dont know you, you must have the looks for them to get interested to even reply you.

The thing is, 80% of the time, I try to keep the conversation fun, light-hearted, and not bring up too deep a stuff at first. Most of them just don't keep the conversation flowing with 1 word replies. That shows how uninterested they are to keep the talking going..

Ok that aside I understand that some people are bad at texting, I'm no exception. So if you're bad at texting, let's try talking then. I mean... that's what relationships are for. We try, right?

Thing is, how to try talking when..... I can't even get the conversation to flow to the point of asking her out when the conversation is so stagnant at 1 or 2 word replies...


Then nextly, is language barrier. I'm a Chinese born who can't read a word of chinese. Tan Tan and Tinder are marketed to different people, the former being more chinese-oriented. (My choice la... I prefer Tan Tan profiles) but being Eng-ed, the language barrier is strong on this one, even down to culture clashes.

At times, I really feel like giving up texting on dating apps.

No la I'm not that good looking la. Above average I guess. Hahaha, Mostly I make the first moves. Sometimes they reply great, then the conversation slowly dies down. Some just downright give 1 word replies or answer your questions directly without any signs of continuing the conversation.

About the FB Method.. errrrr... I dunno man, it sounds like quite a kinda not my style. Maybe because I'm staying in penang and the culture here is different. The guys here are more despo (This is realised). Among my mutual girl-friends, during college time, they had had experience with random dudes messaging them over fb and calling them creepers like super despo move then ultimately get ignored.

I understand that FB and dating apps cannot be compared to each other. Perhaps its the area / state I am in which brought about this culture that made them think its a creeper move.


Btw, did you score any using the FB random add method?

im going to have a gf soon using this fb method, had our first date last week, things going well.

some will give one word answers, or not enthusiastic, some dont even reply, no biggie here, as long as you continue trying, there will be one or two respond nicely and having the ending im having now, it's great.

Edit: you also need to have good chatting skills, but you still cant do anything if the girl dont cooperate, chatting is a 2 way street, both have to contribute and keep things going, this current girl of mine did this very well, it truly felt like a 2 way street, thats what you're looking for, not those which made you feel like talking to a wall.

A girl is attractive or not, depends on their cooperative-ness.
If a girl is very pretty but doesnt reply, theres no use.
Not super pretty ones but still pretty, and replies to you, wins over the one with much prettier face.

This post has been edited by Sasuke95: May 17 2020, 12:58 AM

Do you play any sports or join events like hill climbing
Introduce yourself more and get active
Online dating apps don’t work as good as interaction.
Good luck

Hi ts,

Im almost same as you. Chinese but english ed. Above average hensem but not really good at sms. Talks fine if face to face. Also in penang.

I had quite a few gfs. Some are hot stuff too. All of them i scored by talking face to face, get their number and asking them out. Use your + points. If you are weak in sms, well then ask them out. Or during those occasional group outings, try to talk to them naturally.
I also tried tinder and i also score as long as i manage to get them out.

From young with no transport to bike to old 30 years old uncle car, i still score chicks. Of course those chicks are attracted to me and not into money which i wanted to avoid.

Go out and have fun man. If you are having fun during the outings, most probably she is too and will high chance be attracted to you. If not, take a day to mop and whine if needed, then get the next girl out.

Post your profile picture then we shall talk further. That's right, the current profile is me myself.

Easy love approaching list:-

1.) You need to be a SugarDaddy
2.) Your face and look must be outstanding

Tatata, those are the 2 basics for winning someone's heart.

Sorry to hurt you but the outside World is cool-blooded.

Tell you one thing, I owned a Toyota Prius C and Toyota Vios G 2019, I didn't even have any GF in 2019. But thankfully, I met my first relationship in 2020 early =)

This post has been edited by nagasaran: May 17 2020, 08:50 AM

U wanna know how i look like? U know the "Swipe" series by JimmyboyTV on YouTube? Ya abit like the main character. From hair, to face, to glasses.

Nope, im not a sugar daddy type. Maybe thats whatever that floats your boat la. But happy that it worked out for you =)

Nahh due to privacy reasons, I dont just post up my picture just because someone ask me to, sorry bro.

That is the issue in this day and age, face to face is no longer a thing. Thereby, no longer a norm, and dunno where to even start bro. I wanna challenge that, but seriously I dont know where to start. My social circle is pretty small, with no girls in it. Not only that, working life has put me in a tighter spot too. Thats why perhaps it'll be nice if I have someone to guide me. Bring me to meet people, expand my social circle.

Apa this issue in this day and age, you make me sound like i'm from the dino era . I'm around the same age as you buddy.
I don't often go out or go night clubs or any social activities.

Some of the girls I went out dating with are:
1) My previous school mate. Came back to hometown, meet her in supermarket. Chatted for awhile with her and somehow sparks fly. So get her number there and then.
2) Cashier girl. Just talk to her when she is free and I got her number.
3) Company colleague. Well just pikat her and ask her out for dinner.

Take the initiative to ask them out once talked to them and feels good. Also, exercising helps. It increase your self confidence and your mood which is very important.

+1

My wife now is from ex company colleague.

Started with simply ask for weekly / monthly badminton outing.

Do you have Netflix? Watch Terrace House, all of them, and learn how to approach and talk casually to girls without appearing thirsty. What behavior is desired, acceptable, not acceptable and outright rude. Sometimes it's hard to explain in words, but when you watch how other people do it, you will pick up the little nuances and understand better.

My personal adv, for men, 28 baru better start cari gf, by 30 get married if u have a stable n better income...

try improve on your perspective, unless you are really attractive and have charisma, if not you wont even need to open a thread here saying dating app not working.

asking people out dont need to have flow or something. sometime, ask them out try, it might work. if you dont do first step they always find reason to justify you not doing it, how to success.

language barrier is not an issue, if you know you cant speak chinese, just untick the chinese. you also can put "only know english & BM" in your profile to avoid those forseen language barrier.

Expand your social circle. Go to the gym, chill at the cafe or join any activities by your alma mater and so on.

I am 26 and enjoying single life. Trying to know someone at the moment but taking it easy. You can do it too

In fact, you gain more resources as you grow older as a guy

And women love resources (eg. material wealth, career, education, property).

Even for those women who don't prioritise material wealth, at least with your available resources, you can shower them with romantic stuff. Remember that women are very emotional. Use that to your advantage.

Having said that, it doesn't mean you brag about your resources to them. Your personality counts too.

to be perfectly honest, dating apps are a tool for the attractive. if you're good looking or post pics that attract, you will be swimming with matches.

a friend showed off his tinder profile to me once, quite impressive. however, he told me a few things, the stuff he posted on his profile are stuff girls like. tattoo, expensive watch, drinks, act macho etc. he pointed out, that they love what they see and not him. which is sad but it's the harsh reality of life.

how bad is it on apps? imagine this. look at yourself in the mirror. rate yourself 1-10. even if you're a "7", imagine a girl getting tons of matches from 8-10s. they swipe away MUCH faster.

being single can be a sad thing, but its not bad to be honest. finding the right one is really not easy.

i m reaching 40, still single. i havent given up, just that i went thru many phases of life. one phase that i went thru was the feeling of life's not fair. why do people have partners, why don't have?

the reality is i could have a partner. i could have got one a long time ago, i do know there are people who like me but i am the one who's too choosy.

also, i've come to learn that beauty really is skin deep. there were so many people who legit cared about me but i didnt give them the chance just coz of their looks. i always wanted someone prettier.

those girls that are pretty? they have higher requirements, they are more demanding, they can do that because they have market value. sadly many choose to exploit that.

in anycase, i learned that being single can suck but worrying/bitching about it accomplishes nothing. the sooner you accept that you are single, the better it is for your mental health and happiness.

if it bothers you that much, focus your efforts on self improvement. hit the gym, look for money, improve your social skills. be yourself.

funny thing about the game of love is you win by not trying too hard. girls are not dumb, they can see.

Thats why dont date girl, its complicated ..

hi, does no.2 approach requires you to be a regular member? as in constantly visiting her work place?

2 days per week is good enough for me. Also dont just sit there and stare/look at her. Go have some light talk with her.

I see.. my plan was to straight up walk to her and strike a convo on the first visit.
I also find it way more successful to approach in a friendlier way instead of straightforward complimenting her and asking her out.

Whatever method is most comfortable and natural to you, just do it.

U try grabbing her attention is it...

I mean that way works too but im naturally shy person. Introvert. Trying to change that.

I went talk to her if she free. If the 45minutes i am there she is busy, i will just walk away like any of her customers. Soon she realises me and will smile. I also will smile politely but also not like too desperate to talk to her. Only when she is free, so she wont feel stress.

If u wan something, go grab it. No point using the reason shy..think about it.

Well update here guys...

Gave TanTan a 2nd go, and I picked up the courage to just send a voice message. I didn't put much of hope on it,, but heck did get some replies and conversation flowing with 2 girls. Well well...

But of cuz I'm not limited to just TanTan, dug out one ex-colleague's insta and we also went on a roll.

Thanks for all the encouragement guys.

Being single is better than matching with a wrong one.

Take your time. Find the right one. It might come. I've always thought myself to be single too forever(late 20's now) . Then suddenly it just happened I got someone from my social circle haha.

Somethings just unexplainable sometimes.

I accepted the fact i wont get anyone
I used to have dating app but now im against it (for personal reason)

You like someone. Approach, ask phone no. Followup by messages. Ball of steel mode.

And dont do those online dating stuff. Watch out for ladies physically, ask for no right away.

Bro... what...? Hell naw, number? Right in the face?

Right in the face yes, like cold call. But you need to hunt for the number first. Choose what you want, type of look that you ok with.

Even stewerdess I can do this easily, ask name wherefrom etc. International flight, not Malaysia ok.

Live life to the fullest. Right person will appear somewhere somehow when you’re too busy living ur best self.

first, i still think that 25+ men are more attractive


also, with age, people stop being insanely passionate and don't look for relationships just for the sake of...relationships, you know?
you are entering the age when people like each other because of behavior and personality, not because their photos on insta

i would say - let it go?
and not because you're still young, but because that's how universe works - when you stop seeking something so eagerly and start concentrating on your personality and idk some kind of self-development or anything - good things start coming to you as if you're a magnet for them

i tell you what. Simply walking to girls is not that creepy. I used to score 4hp numbers in public library. You have to know how to carry yourself. What topics to start of, how to carry conversation, how interesting are you. That a lot being say you need to practice.

I am still single up to 27. Never in relationship before, only god knows why. Yes sometimes i feel like giving up in term of love. I still keep my mind never rush into shits but never reject opportunity.

Good luck.

For a guy, at 25,generally speaking, no money no house no car. Don't be afraid. Make your career and money in your pocket. It takes money to be romantic or spontaneous or kind, qualities that women seek.

Disclaimer: I am single, but here's my thought.

You might be putting too much pressure on yourself, which is not necessary a bad thing if you use it to improve yourself.

Back to the topic, essentially modern dating is a number game in which you will have better chance of meeting someone if you know more people. This is because both girls and guys are spoiled with "choices". Other posters mentioned about being more financially capable, I do agree with this as well because it can gain you access to more venue to know more people.

And about texting, generally girls today are terrible at conversation (sorry to any ladies here ). They are used to guys being the initiator, that they rarely put much effort into it. BUT from my experience, if someone is interested in you, she will try keep the conversation going! If she don't, then move on, don't further feed the need of attention of some people.

These are my experience, and hopefully you can avoid some of my mistakes while I was at your age.

Good luck!

Im a year younger than you but I dont feel the urge of getting into a relationship because I have already set my goals which plays a big role in my life. My ultimate goal is to do masters in overseas and I cant let anyone to stop me. This is the sole reason why I think getting into a relationship will be tedious as it will disrupt my goal.

As advice: Have an ultimate goal but if your goal is to settle down then I dont think my advice works. Good luck anyways.

25 for a guy is still a long way to go.
Build up your network of lady friends whom you want to get close with.
Get to know their inner and never fall for their outer as looks can be deceiving.

In the end, you want someone whom you want to spend the rest of your life with and gets to see her face daily in the morning.

exactly, if the girl is interested, with your somewhat okay conversation skills (as long as dont be like the girls who give one liner or give close ended reply, make life difficult for the girls to reply), the girl will just keep the conversation going and eventually go out with you.

in contrast, even if you have exceptional conversation skills, if the girl is not interested, it's a dead end too, when you feel things are not progressing / she's not responding well / feels like talking to wall / feel like one sided effort, you're not wrong, your gut feeling is warning you and is often right, move the fuck on and dont look back. Find next target.

One thing to add is, when the spark is fizzled out with the girl, and she's gonna leave, dont stop her, there's really nothing you can do to get back someone who doesnt feel for you anymore. You're only losing your dignity if you try hard to make her stay, since she's gonna leave anyway, why not save yourself that dignity and effort?

Take that humiliation of her leaving you positively and use it as motivation to further build yourself, with enough disappointment translates to unwavering motivation, which is the state i am in now. I found my ultimate financial goal and is working hard towards it, and it's working, i really have to thank those girls for pushing me this far to gain this ability. Got money already, scared dont have girls meh? You can play as many girls as you want.

Of course, progress is still going very good for the girl i'm currently pursuing right now, in my recently opened thread, just hope i wont get the same bad ending as i usually get, but if it happened, i wont feel a thing since im already numbed

Well said. That's just how it works, as we become more good-looking and earn more, naturally will attract more people into our life.

To TS, when you find someone you are attracted to, don't feel like she's your only chance of happiness. Once you rid of those thinking, you may become more comfortable to talk to her and she can feel it too.

And good to hear about the positive progress you made and making. Keep it up

Boy, don't go chase for girl. Chase for wellbeing then girls will come to you

Which girl doesn't like a guy who knows how to dress up well, have their own career, drives a decent car, at least have their own shelter.

Anyway, coffee meet bagel can be a good platform. At least the people there are serious for relationship. As for TanTan and Tinder, really depends on your luck. I've met a few person from there, not really what I wanted. But still "Law of attraction", if you want someone quality, then you need to be the magnet that attracts them.

Good luck

Thanks for all the advices guys,

So what I've done so far, (may not be much), but I focused more on myself. Like what you guys said, focusing on your well-being and be a magnet. Be a good catch.

For physical appearance, I took care of myself, upped my skincare game, took care of my weight, having my confidence up, though its still not the level where I want it to be.

Skillset, finding hobbies and stuff to do. Make myself and at the same time, my life more interesting. I took an interest with restoring my car, hahaha weird right? But its what I once used to love doing. With the help and guidance from my friend, my project took full swing. I love it that I am finding back the love I once lost for so long. I do play the piano too, but I can't afford one. >< Thinking to at least rent a studio so that I can just relax and play. All of these I once used to do whilst I was single.

Learning about skincare is what I like doing as well. Having more knowledge and well-equipped with this did help my ex... I know it sounds weird, but hey, who like sa greasy guy who knows ntg about grooming.


As for monetary and financials (this is where I am weak at), I will search for bigger opportunities if any door opens. Taking and learning about investments etc..etc.. Trying to also start up a side freelance photography job. P/S I am a part time photographer too.

I think tats about it. =)

Speaker already 31 and still single. Enjoy selagi boleh and I'm comfortable with it already.

TS, i think we are on same page. I'm 27 yes been single my entire life. On dating apps for 1 year managed to get 3 dates(no more now). You ask me deeply am i still cool ? Hell no, i got countless of dreams happened that i am actually dating so you can imagine how deep my subconscious wanted to me get in love.


Right now, i also kinda tired of this. So I'm also chasing the wellbeing. Which includes : New hobby, self-enrichment(investment,stocks), gym(physical), travel( explosure to open my minds).

This is what i am very agree. My friend used to tell me , don't get into relationship for sake just only get into a relationship. Now I understand,many of us who seeing our friends very sweet together on instagram, jesus we can't never imagine how they living behind us.


Single at some point is great. That freedom let me tell you its priceless. Most important don't rush into shits.

25 still young
come back when u r 30

what about okcupid and cmb(coffee meet bagel) ? you need lots of patience with tinder as they're filled with too many bad matches

For me, I've made changes in these 3 things to start gaining attention:
1. Fitness - I was round and chubby but putting some effort into losing weight and having broad shoulders helped alot wiht masculinity
2. Fashion - Don't have to splurge on expensive BS but don't look like any other guy out there. Be different and stand out a little
3. Self care - Much alike you, I was acne ridden and once I had it under control things became better (surprisingly some girls think acne scars look kinda badass haha)

+ confidence - just strike a conversation with randoms/acquaintances from work/school etc. You'd be surprise even women that are out of our league appreciate gestures like these.

My luck on dating apps are as troubling as yours but as long as u do the above 3, even an average joe like me could attract the opposite sex. More so favorable in the nightlife scene.

Good luck and all the best with your seduction game!

Dont worry to much about it, enjoy your life being single, instead of focusing on your love life, try look into other life goals that you really wanted to achieve, like sports, being able to do a flying kick in taekwando, ride a bike/scooter (solo) across states, meet new people, sky diving, play an instrument and being in a rock band or whatever things that you fell like you wanna do as long as it is not your love life goals.

At the same time, be financially prepared and solid because you'll never know things that will happen in the future plus with the economic downfall (COVID-19) issues.

Love will come at the right time and at the right moment when you start to appreciate and love yourself. The right partner will come to you!

For example (me): I had a relationship for almost 8 years and things didnt really go that well the last few years. Later on I start to focus on myself, doing things that I love, than after 1 - 2 years later, a friend of mine randomly introduced me someone. At first I was just wanted to get to know her, but because I know I had loved myself, motivated myself to do better than who I was before and my relationship/friendship with the lady that my friend introduced to me when really smooth (due to our mutual understanding and vision towards our life goals).

Cutting it short, she is my wife now.

So dont give up, love yourself first , enjoy life and be happy!

cham

I am almost 30 and also single

Anyway, already planned for forever alone
Also never had a gf before

Well I don't know how to advise but my experience is mostly toxic : X how toxic you won't want to know it, but anyway good luck ^^,

first of all, face & height how you'd rate yourself?
secondly, by 30 i assume you're earning good, can compensate the first point just in case
thirdly, are you boring that made girls unable to continue chatting? or you'd say you got no prob in maintaining conversation?

lastly, if all else dont work out, it's fine being single, at least you're free to do whatever you want, if want to satisfy your needs just do it outside using your money, think it positively as you're going to get to try many pretty ones (albeit at a price) instead of fixing to only 1, and perhaps saved yourself from "wife sex" or no sex, it's common married people gradually moved to no sex, usually caused by 1 of the party, and caused another party frustration, end up eating outside too.

single or attached, each has pros & cons and no clear cut advantages, pick your poison.

Eh, plenty of people think that they are hot shit but in reality muka mcm kena langgar lori.

And what is the benchmark for height anyway? 180? 190?

The legendary 180 set by the girls, i don't seem to meet many of them so far, i myself is below that, in the range of 170 to 175, would say that's just nice to be taller than most girls, even at that height I sometimes find myself not tall enough when meeting taller girls or girls wearing high heels, and worst of all height can't be changed like the face lols

175cm. Face average lor. Definitely not leng zai, but definitely not ah beng

Doing office based work, not earning very good. Reasonably to earn a living lar. Another fellow M40
Drives humble car. Commited to a condo under construction, so dont think i got plans to change car anytime soon.

but i think, i m boring. LOL. Abit anti-social type, nope, no problem of maintaining a professional conversation, i am good at those.
But not anything else LOL

This post has been edited by prozfromhell: Jun 28 2020, 08:51 AM

honestly no matter what age, if you are still single, that's not a problem...maybe there are times you feel lonely need a companion but after all just don't hunt love so desperately...ayam in late 20's, single but happy!

sometimes I also ask myself is it that ayam too enjoy being alone lol

- want to eat xxx, EAT!
- lazy want stay at home chillax, STAY!
- need travel/short escape, GO! but usually travel with fam or friends, every year have 1 or 2 solo trip

so don't worry much and take care of yourself first

25 y/o and worried about being single...common dude !
Wish I was 25 again and being more carnivorous than before..haha.