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Advice Wanted Marriage Life - No more sex in our marriage

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TSFeelingEmpty P
post May 12 2020, 11:10 PM, updated 4y ago

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Hello everyone,

First of all, let me clarify some details for your reference.
1) I'm a muslim
2) My husband doesn't initiate sex or seems to be interested in me sexually.
3)He self confessed regarding his porn addiction which leads me to feel so down because of all the beautiful girls in porn and i know i couldn't compete with them.
4) I hope i could get out from this marriage because i felt so unwanted and alone. I'am extremely desperate for a human touch.
5) There is one time i install tinder just hoping to find someone that can have sex with me. But, halfway I chicken out because i'm afraid of god punishment even though it is so so sooooo tempting. It hurts so much.
6) I already tried for counselling, slow talk with my husband and try to be more sexy but all my efforts are in vain.

And the most painful thing is he will give my so many weird reasons like tell me to pray first, ignore about my sexual needs and still with his own way after I remind him constantly.

Please someone tell me how to get away from this marriage. I don't want to spend my entire life with him like this anymore. PLEASE HELP ME!!!
LarryPizzaGuy
post May 12 2020, 11:14 PM

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Forgive me if I sound ignorant but...

1. Why did you two got married in the first place? What made you two tie the knot?
2. Could there be that your husband is having a sexual affair with someone else?
Ansonlow
post May 12 2020, 11:29 PM

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Maybe both of u go find counselling Or maybe ask yr husband what can u do to make him attracted to u in sex?
Any sex before getting married ?

This need to overcome to get the solution fast, the longer it drags....more suffer for both of u as a husband & wife. Take care

This post has been edited by Ansonlow: May 12 2020, 11:32 PM
waghyu
post May 12 2020, 11:30 PM

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QUOTE(FeelingEmpty @ May 12 2020, 11:10 PM)
Hello everyone,

First of all, let me clarify some details for your reference.
1) I'm a muslim
2) My husband doesn't initiate sex or seems to be interested in me sexually.
3)He self confessed regarding his porn addiction which leads me to feel so down because of all the beautiful girls in porn and i know i couldn't compete with them.
4) I hope i could get out from this marriage because i felt so unwanted and alone. I'am extremely desperate for a human touch.
5) There is one time i install tinder just hoping to find someone that can have sex with me. But, halfway I chicken out because i'm afraid of god punishment even though it is so so sooooo tempting. It hurts so much.
6) I already tried for counselling, slow talk with my husband and try to be more sexy but all my efforts are in vain.

And the most painful thing is he will give my so many weird reasons like tell me to pray first, ignore about my sexual needs and still with his own way after I remind him constantly.

Please someone tell me how to get away from this marriage. I don't want to spend my entire life with him like this anymore. PLEASE HELP ME!!!
*
Income no problem your husband?
soul78
post May 12 2020, 11:31 PM

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Sounds like a guy's excuse not to makan this dish coz outside got better dimsum already..

High chance there is 3rd party involved... did you check his phone or is he being very secretive about who he talks to or what he does on the phone??..


waghyu
post May 12 2020, 11:33 PM

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Never do something you will regret ya.
kkkw80
post May 13 2020, 08:12 AM

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Sorry but I think your husband doesn’t respect you. It is abnormal for normal guys to say no to sex. I understand sex is very important for any relationship and if this missing, it will distance the couple apart.

Have you try seducing him like maybe wearing lingerie or introducing some toys to the bedroom?
cfa28
post May 13 2020, 11:52 AM

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TS, i will be very blunt.

Unless you are very fat and physically unattractive to your husband, there are only 2 reasons why your HB will not inniatate s3x.

1): he has another woman outside. That said, most men will not say no to s3x when it is available

2) your HB is ghey.

How many kids do you have and how long have you been married
asellerrs
post May 13 2020, 11:56 AM

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any kids and how old both of you?

This post has been edited by asellerrs: May 13 2020, 11:57 AM
mikacarrick
post May 13 2020, 12:25 PM

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abnormal. maybe he is gay or he have weird fetish. Good thing that u stop halfway there. please think carefully before you proceed doing something that u are going to regret later. u have not done it yet so better dont start. if u think u cant stand it anymore, go for counselling first. if not, have a serious talk with him and decide what to do. either he do his part or u both go separate way. dont waste your time being in an unhappy marriage. especially if u still dont have kids.
J1g54w
post May 13 2020, 05:35 PM

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QUOTE(FeelingEmpty @ May 12 2020, 11:10 PM)
Hello everyone,

First of all, let me clarify some details for your reference.
1) I'm a muslim
2) My husband doesn't initiate sex or seems to be interested in me sexually.
3)He self confessed regarding his porn addiction which leads me to feel so down because of all the beautiful girls in porn and i know i couldn't compete with them.
4) I hope i could get out from this marriage because i felt so unwanted and alone. I'am extremely desperate for a human touch.
5) There is one time i install tinder just hoping to find someone that can have sex with me. But, halfway I chicken out because i'm afraid of god punishment even though it is so so sooooo tempting. It hurts so much.
6) I already tried for counselling, slow talk with my husband and try to be more sexy but all my efforts are in vain.

And the most painful thing is he will give my so many weird reasons like tell me to pray first, ignore about my sexual needs and still with his own way after I remind him constantly.

Please someone tell me how to get away from this marriage. I don't want to spend my entire life with him like this anymore. PLEASE HELP ME!!!
*
Sorry to be blunt but how tall are you and how much you weigh?
TSFeelingEmpty P
post May 13 2020, 08:29 PM

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QUOTE(J1g54w @ May 13 2020, 05:35 PM)
Sorry to be blunt but how tall are you and how much you weigh?
*
169cm
65kg
noobz4ever
post May 13 2020, 08:32 PM

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QUOTE(FeelingEmpty @ May 13 2020, 08:29 PM)
169cm
65kg
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Lost 5-7kilo, u b good, wear light makeup n start show some body shape with ur cloth. Jgn taliban sgt.
TSFeelingEmpty P
post May 13 2020, 08:38 PM

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QUOTE(LarryPizzaGuy @ May 12 2020, 11:14 PM)
Forgive me if I sound ignorant but...

1. Why did you two got married in the first place? What made you two tie the knot?
2. Could there be that your husband is having a sexual affair with someone else?
*
1.We got married because we are in love and in situation where both of us are secured financially and emotionally.
2. I think the same thing too. But, i already confronted him and tell him if he find other women attractive and want to have further relationship. Just let me know and let me go so i can find my own happiness.
I'm not the kind of girl who trying to hold on to a marriage if my partner is not in the same boat anymore.

QUOTE(Ansonlow @ May 12 2020, 11:29 PM)
Maybe both of u go find counselling Or maybe ask yr husband what can u do to make him attracted to u in sex?
Any sex before getting married ?

This need to overcome to get the solution fast, the longer it drags....more suffer for both of u as a husband & wife. Take care
*
I already ask him whats his fetish and how can i cater to his fantasies.
He say he like older women and voluptuous women. And sometimes he didn't think about sex with me because he tired. But, keep on playing with his dick while watching porn when I'm sleeping beside him.

I do not want to sound like full of myself but I do have curve and younger than him 2 years. I guess he just want to be married to me for convenience.

No sex before married for us.

It's true and now I'm struggling to find solution.
Thank you for your concern. I really appreciate it.
LarryPizzaGuy
post May 13 2020, 09:40 PM

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QUOTE(FeelingEmpty @ May 13 2020, 08:50 PM)
I already ask him whats his fetish and how can i cater to his fantasies.
He say he like older women and voluptuous women. And sometimes he didn't think about sex with me because he tired. But, keep on playing with his dick while watching porn when I'm sleeping beside him.

I do not want to sound like full of myself but I do have curve and younger than him 2 years. I guess he just want to be married to me for convenience.

No sex before married for us.

It's true and now I'm struggling to find solution.
Thank you for your concern. I really appreciate it.
*
Your reply maciam our resident ukeke... not sure to believe your or not..

Moving forward... I give you conclusion bah, that your husband is no longer interested pursuing a life long commitment with you.

No Sex = No Love, you're feeling it right?

Proceed to annul the marriage bah, I think you have strong grounds to annul it.
SUSbronkos
post May 13 2020, 09:44 PM

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what's your body measurements? I am asking coz you mentioned your hubby is addicted to porn.
J1g54w
post May 13 2020, 10:05 PM

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Sounds like he might have porn-addiction issue. Though it's not at all hopeless. How many people do you live with in your home?

QUOTE(FeelingEmpty @ May 13 2020, 08:50 PM)
I already ask him whats his fetish and how can i cater to his fantasies.
He say he like older women and voluptuous women. And sometimes he didn't think about sex with me because he tired. But, keep on playing with his dick while watching porn when I'm sleeping beside him.

I do not want to sound like full of myself but I do have curve and younger than him 2 years. I guess he just want to be married to me for convenience.

No sex before married for us.

It's true and now I'm struggling to find solution.
Thank you for your concern. I really appreciate it.
*
klein
post May 14 2020, 11:32 AM

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QUOTE(noobz4ever @ May 13 2020, 08:32 PM)
Lost 5-7kilo, u b good, wear light makeup n start show some body shape with ur cloth. Jgn taliban sgt.
*
Her body is perfectly fine, you piece of shit

Why is it always women's fault when something is not working, esp in her case, she attempted to improve it

QUOTE(FeelingEmpty @ May 12 2020, 11:10 PM)
Hello everyone,

First of all, let me clarify some details for your reference.
1) I'm a muslim
2) My husband doesn't initiate sex or seems to be interested in me sexually.
3)He self confessed regarding his porn addiction which leads me to feel so down because of all the beautiful girls in porn and i know i couldn't compete with them.
4) I hope i could get out from this marriage because i felt so unwanted and alone. I'am extremely desperate for a human touch.
5) There is one time i install tinder just hoping to find someone that can have sex with me. But, halfway I chicken out because i'm afraid of god punishment even though it is so so sooooo tempting. It hurts so much.
6) I already tried for counselling, slow talk with my husband and try to be more sexy but all my efforts are in vain.

And the most painful thing is he will give my so many weird reasons like tell me to pray first, ignore about my sexual needs and still with his own way after I remind him constantly.

Please someone tell me how to get away from this marriage. I don't want to spend my entire life with him like this anymore. PLEASE HELP ME!!!
*
Just dump his ass, don't waste any minute longer with guys like that, obviously he never cared about your needs.. trust me, you would find guys who would go completely crazy over you and please you wholeheartedly..

This post has been edited by klein: May 14 2020, 11:36 AM
brianchow87
post May 14 2020, 11:37 AM

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QUOTE(FeelingEmpty @ May 12 2020, 11:10 PM)
Hello everyone,

First of all, let me clarify some details for your reference.
1) I'm a muslim
2) My husband doesn't initiate sex or seems to be interested in me sexually.
3)He self confessed regarding his porn addiction which leads me to feel so down because of all the beautiful girls in porn and i know i couldn't compete with them.
4) I hope i could get out from this marriage because i felt so unwanted and alone. I'am extremely desperate for a human touch.
5) There is one time i install tinder just hoping to find someone that can have sex with me. But, halfway I chicken out because i'm afraid of god punishment even though it is so so sooooo tempting. It hurts so much.
6) I already tried for counselling, slow talk with my husband and try to be more sexy but all my efforts are in vain.

And the most painful thing is he will give my so many weird reasons like tell me to pray first, ignore about my sexual needs and still with his own way after I remind him constantly.

Please someone tell me how to get away from this marriage. I don't want to spend my entire life with him like this anymore. PLEASE HELP ME!!!
*
some cheesy have in your husband.. check out and beware tho
Devil_Red
post May 14 2020, 11:48 AM

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Dear TS,

Please just ignore those fella who asked for height/weight/body size or whatever. Personally i think even the questions are sexist, and shallow. I'm not sure if they are married, but i can feel they just didn't understand how marriage works.

CC isn't a good place to get constructive advice, especially about marriage.

Pre-marital advice ... maybe
Post-marital advice .... hardly

Personally, I love my wife's self-confidence. I didn't know where she draws her confidence from, though at this point she has nothing much and financially dependent on me i would say. And yes, we have been married for yearsssssssssssssssss .. and going strong.

Don't bother to seek your answer here.
Probably better get some professional counselling service, if you can afford.

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