and you aint female too~  

park 180

Heibuwaichang  thread still on I think but not active liao. The guy I was talking about is another forumer,got couple stars and new to this Kopitiam section he is not really well known here. forgot his nick he opened 2 threads

There's a lovely South East Asian Hokkien dialect term for this. It is called "kiasu" 
I had my own shoulder chips when I went to college. The college I went to was one of those rich / preppy types in Selangor, where a lot of the kids judge whether to include you in their social circles based on your family's material wealth or perceived coolness factor (which, of course, would be reinforced or amplified by your material potential or ability to flaunt). I did not really belong and it was a college where I do not have much happy memories.

One of their biggest "toy comparisons" or "social ranking factors" was the car you drove to college (and before that, it was the handphone you owned.... Startec wielders carry much higher social cachet over Nokia users, for instance, and woe betide you if you were a public telephone user or KTM commuter like me... ). Thus, the chip I carried was that I wanted the best car I could possibly afford at certain stages in my life.

Of course, as I climbed up various ladders, and reached levels where I could afford various vehicles easily, coupled with the awareness that I would never be able to utilize the full power and capacities of such highly refined and engineered machines (I always say that putting a RM500K car into my hands is like giving a 2 carat diamond to a baboon), my desires and chips started to fall by the wayside. Once I went beyond the age of 35, I practically no longer cared about acquiring such forms of material validation; I am very happy to let even CRVs and Civics high-beam their way past me on the highway in my banged-up old vehicle whenever I am back in the homeland as long as I know that these are vehicles I can acquire within even a month's salary. I now focus more on unlocking achievements and experiences - things that require time, effort and commitment to obtain, and not just pure monetary ability. And of course, the driving force of my life right now is to provide for or do the best I can for the family and friends that really matter to me, for no amount of money can ever bring a life or time back once they are gone or incapacitated permanently.

Once I learned the art of gratitude in my life, and to see all the blessings I actually do have - in an intact immediate family (no divorce or dysfunctional ism), in two wonderful in-laws (how many people can have in-laws that they truly like and would enjoy living with), in a better half who stuck with me through thick and thin even when I was a pauper and struggling (how many people can claim to have "married above their station or potential"), in family who would do everything they can for you if you need them to, in friends who have gone through various highs and lows with you throughout the decades and who are still close to you till today, in the safety, prosperity and progression that my family is able to have compared to the time of my ancestors who were tapping rubber or cleaning up adult potties from the back allies of trading harbours, I tell myself everyday... man, am I one of the luckiest ones alive, regardless of the lack of whatever material indicators that are supposedly befitting of my station!

I have seen enough "materially abundant" people suffering from other great deficiencies in their lives - broken families, sibling warfare, dysfunctional marriages, always looking over their shoulder for the shadow of enemies, deep underlying health issues, thick and deep-rooted insecurities, etc. Some of the "tycoons" quietly hanging out in /k (or in the old forum, from what I understand) have to go out with bodyguards accompanying them at the front and back of their vehicles. I am very happy to not be in their position. There are prices to pay for everything in life. It depends on what you are willing to pay for, I guess. And surprisingly, most of the best things in my life do not require much material payment... only time and energy commitment, which, as long as my health, luck and financial situation holds up, I have plenty of.... for now......