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TSPandreSS
post Mar 22 2020, 05:54 PM, updated 3 months ago

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Reading all the other topics here I noticed most of them concern 20 year olds.
Anybody over 30, single, dating or searching for love? (Or is it just me?)
Share experiences, stories, tips or let's just rant about how it's harder the older you get.
achong09
post Mar 25 2020, 08:38 AM

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QUOTE(PandreSS @ Mar 22 2020, 05:54 PM)
Reading all the other topics here I noticed most of them concern 20 year olds.
Anybody over 30, single, dating or searching for love? (Or is it just me?)
Share experiences, stories, tips or let's just rant about how it's harder the older you get.
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same here... but cant find nowadays.. .hard to find..
[email protected]
post Mar 25 2020, 11:25 AM

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QUOTE(PandreSS @ Mar 22 2020, 05:54 PM)
Reading all the other topics here I noticed most of them concern 20 year olds.
Anybody over 30, single, dating or searching for love? (Or is it just me?)
Share experiences, stories, tips or let's just rant about how it's harder the older you get.
*
me too. still searching
vinnyming
post Mar 25 2020, 11:33 AM

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First and foremost, be able to enjoy your own company!

l4nunm4l4y4
post Mar 25 2020, 11:36 AM

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They resort to Tinder or SugarBabies app?
SuperTuhan
post Mar 25 2020, 12:31 PM

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there;s so many in tinder

just dont use a photo of muka langgar lori
littlefire
post Mar 26 2020, 11:30 AM

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Just try to use different app to venture more friends & dates. I am also in mid 30's searching for love also. Try to ask friends to intro single ladies, dont pressure too much first can begin as friend. I also getting into fb dating app recently, met a few ladies also.
Plant
post Mar 26 2020, 01:02 PM

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I dated a lot of young girl, early 20’s. Most of them study, some i ghosted them cause not right channel. Some they ghosted me, some obviously gold digger and some sex partner only. I know got few girls have a crush on me but I rejected them cause too high maintain , no thanks

Usually I met them through event, works place and sometime in public place, just says hi and make small conversation then ask number saja. Some rejected or ignore me, some suprisely gave me their number, only young girl. Older girls won’t even give me number and Jual mahal lol
Captain89
post Mar 26 2020, 02:20 PM

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QUOTE(PandreSS @ Mar 22 2020, 05:54 PM)
Reading all the other topics here I noticed most of them concern 20 year olds.
Anybody over 30, single, dating or searching for love? (Or is it just me?)
Share experiences, stories, tips or let's just rant about how it's harder the older you get.
*
Too hard to find but don't give up yet

QUOTE(Plant @ Mar 26 2020, 01:02 PM)
I dated a lot of young girl, early 20’s.  Most of them study, some i ghosted them cause not right channel. Some they ghosted me, some obviously gold digger and some sex partner only. I know got few girls have a crush on me but I rejected them cause too high maintain  , no thanks

Usually I met them through event, works place and sometime in public place, just says hi and make small conversation then ask number saja. Some rejected or ignore me, some suprisely  gave me their number, only young girl. Older girls won’t even give me number and Jual mahal lol
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Isn't this a dream come through?
Angeline
post Mar 26 2020, 03:00 PM

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well, I am nearly to 40's now, so it will be more difficult for me especially I am woman. 30's guys will find their partners more easier than me.
V429
post Mar 26 2020, 04:57 PM

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QUOTE(Angeline @ Mar 26 2020, 03:00 PM)
well, I am nearly to 40's now, so it will be more difficult for me especially I am woman. 30's guys will find their partners more easier than me.
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Don't give up. Just take good care of yourself and be yourself.

I have a ex-colleague same age as you, who found a bf about 2 years ago and married last year. smile.gif
Angeline
post Mar 26 2020, 05:37 PM

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QUOTE(V429 @ Mar 26 2020, 04:57 PM)
Don't give up. Just take good care of yourself and be yourself.

I have a ex-colleague same age as you, who found a bf about 2 years ago and married last year. smile.gif
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Thanks and I will take care of myself and be myself.
kesvani
post Mar 26 2020, 06:10 PM

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QUOTE(Angeline @ Mar 26 2020, 03:00 PM)
well, I am nearly to 40's now, so it will be more difficult for me especially I am woman. 30's guys will find their partners more easier than me.
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Well you need to be aggressive of course provided acceptable level. My story. Me 33. I kacau her once ajak kahwin and give phone number. few month later she started calling me a dozens times. More than half i ignore. Few times i accept. First few times not interested as got doubt . Last month i accept her. Next year plan to get marry wub.gif wub.gif

Want more info we can exchanged PM

This post has been edited by kesvani: Mar 26 2020, 06:11 PM
Angeline
post Mar 26 2020, 06:25 PM

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QUOTE(kesvani @ Mar 26 2020, 06:10 PM)
Well you need to be aggressive of course provided acceptable level. My story. Me 33. I kacau her once ajak kahwin and give phone number.  few month later she started calling me a dozens times. More than half i ignore. Few times i accept. First few times not interested as got doubt  . Last month i accept her. Next year plan to get marry wub.gif  wub.gif

Want more info we can exchanged PM
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So, you act aggressive first to make her act aggressive later? How old is she then? Just by calling each other, or dating as usual? But my case is different as i do not live in KL, so LDR first before anything else.
kesvani
post Mar 26 2020, 06:26 PM

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QUOTE(Angeline @ Mar 26 2020, 06:25 PM)
So, you act aggressive first to make her act aggressive later? How old is she then? Just by calling each other, or dating as usual? But my case is different as i do not live in KL, so LDR first before anything else.
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More detail i dont want share in public. Too risky. I can write cronology if you want hahaha

This post has been edited by kesvani: Mar 26 2020, 06:27 PM
windvind
post Mar 26 2020, 06:31 PM

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QUOTE(PandreSS @ Mar 22 2020, 05:54 PM)
Reading all the other topics here I noticed most of them concern 20 year olds.
Anybody over 30, single, dating or searching for love? (Or is it just me?)
Share experiences, stories, tips or let's just rant about how it's harder the older you get.
*
Last year i told myself last year would be the year. But i guess never happened and now already starting 30's.
I did not grab opportunity when it was right there.
Also sometimes i think being alone is not that bad, until you start stay alone.

Anyway, surprisingly a few of my friends broke up last year. Guess many people are single in their 30's nowdays.

This post has been edited by windvind: Mar 26 2020, 06:37 PM
Angeline
post Mar 26 2020, 06:36 PM

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QUOTE(kesvani @ Mar 26 2020, 06:26 PM)
More detail i dont want share in public. Too risky. I can write cronology if you want hahaha
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Maybe you share with me by pm me, if she is ok with it.
kesvani
post Mar 26 2020, 06:39 PM

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QUOTE(Angeline @ Mar 26 2020, 06:36 PM)
Maybe you share with me by pm me, if she is ok with it.
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OK. Send you right now. Gonna take a while to write

Daddy2be
post Mar 26 2020, 11:39 PM

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QUOTE(Angeline @ Mar 26 2020, 06:36 PM)
Maybe you share with me by pm me, if she is ok with it.
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A friend of mine mid 40s now. Last year found BF I think is first ever BF. Caucasian around her age too. Western and European are more accepting when it comes to age
y3ivan
post Mar 29 2020, 11:10 PM

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just out of curiosity, do women prefer guys in their 30s to date + end up marrying?

fyi, im in mid 30s, m, and i'm earning >10k/month so not a loser.

just not that interested in a relationship after a few lousy ones.


friedricetheman
post Mar 30 2020, 11:04 AM

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I believe that dating in the 30s should be dating for long term ie. looking at marriage or long term relationships.

I got married in my 20s so I have only dated through my late teens and up into my 20s.

But my advice to you guys is not to waste a girl's time if shes also in her 30s. If you are not really into her or can't see yourself being with her for the long term, please just let her go.
TianJian
post Mar 31 2020, 11:20 AM

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yes dated those woman over 30, and woman still selling them self high in singapore
KSMMA
post Mar 31 2020, 11:23 AM

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i am 3x single looking for love but forever alone la
tctham
post Mar 31 2020, 05:09 PM

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Phase 1 (<20):
wasted too much time (3 years) chasing after 1 girl during college. In the end didn't manage to get anywhere. Nothing much gained here. No experience. Only learnt to be a better and caring person. (instead of self-centered, childish and short tempered)
Girl Age: 16-20 My Age: 16-20

Phase 2 (20-30):
Idle for very long because was quite heart broken due to phase 1.
Tried going after 4 girls (not concurrent), (friend's of friend, waitress, app)

After a long while of heart broken (yea that time noob. dunno how to let go) finally decided to approach friend's friend. Got very close, almost succeed, but her family know and they strongly object us together. (cause she 3 years elder than me, and that time i've only started my career for 4 years, so not that stable yet)
Girl Age: 26 My Age: 23

was again dejected for a while (2 years?). Then again met another friend's friend. Chased after her for 1 year and finally she became my 1st gf. But ultimately we're worlds apart (totally different lifestyle and mindset) and it's only by sheer accident (literally) that we got together. So naturally she felt that I'm not the guy that she looking for, and we broke up.
Here I learnt, no matter how much you love a person, you won't be together if:
1. you two are too different (and one or both party was unwilling to bridge the gap)
2. she does not have much (or enough) good feelings / vibe towards you. After a while, it turns stale.

Tbh, this is the girl that i once loved the most and i was seriously heart broken about it also. I think i took about 2-3 years to recover from it and was seriously down (cried alot) during the recovery stage.
Girl Age: 28 My Age: 26

After 2-3 years, I finally decided to move on, and tried knowing more people, met a waitress, had a chat with her. follow up few times, went out date 2x, but didn't work out.
Again, worlds apart. Didn't manage to start anything at all.
Girl Age: 22 My age: 29

Met a girl at CMB. We clicked very well. but after a while, i got together with my current GF. So we stopped contacting.
Girl Age: 24 My age: 29

Phase 3 (29-31)
This one complicated a bit. Basically I'm interested in her, we went out for quite a while. Clicked well. But there were some parts that I wasn't sure if we will work out.And after a while, I realized that she had no prior experience in relationship. And I thought to myself, since i was hurt so badly for my first one, and if I can't be damn sure that we both will work out, I better don't hurt this girl by "trying it out". So i kept my distance.
But the girl is still keen. then after a while, i decided, screw it. give it a try, give it my best. We continue going out again, then i decided to move to the next stage, prepared and ask if she wanna be my gf. but she didn't give me an answer and i felt confused. I thought she had no interest to move on to the next stage.
And so on and off, I was given mixed signals, until we finally sat down and discuss about our potential concerns and if we want to proceed to next stage knowing these concerns.
Ultimately, we decided to try things out and it turned out exceptionally well. We're very happy together so far. This back and forth process with mixed signals took about 2 years. (that's why in the middle, where i was giving up, i tried to meet more people, hence got a little overlap with prev experience, otherwise, i wouldn't do concurrent process)
Actually it's just a terrible series of misunderstandings and lack of communications. Once we gotten pass the communication stage, everything is a lot smoother for us. Less guessing each other intentions
Girl Age: 31 My Age: 30

Okay. to answer to the main question. The feeling of dating over 30 is:
1. you have to consider the girl's future and time. You need to evaluate if you two are suitable for each other at the shortest time possible (not saying expedite everything.. just that.. for every thing that happened or you two went through, must always ask yourself, "do i want to be with her for long term (50 years)?" If there is no such intention, then give up. Move on. Don't hold her on and continue wasting her youth.This is not the time to take long long time and "try try first".
2. there's a feeling like there's so much to do, but so little time. Like we went local trips 3-4x. and 1 overseas trip. Somehow wish we could go more, but we've only been together for about 1.5 years.
3. Both parties looking for long term, less toxic games, more realistic expectations.
4. both parties stable in career, no funny ideas about throwing money into entertainment along. Everything also hvae long term in mind. (example, not always wish for overseas trip, sometimes stay budget hotel, sometimes stay better hotels. If eat well during this date, then next few dates eat something more frugally)

I'm already planning for proposal and bought ring d. But covid-19 push back my plans (since i plan to propose during a trip)
cathyyell P
post Apr 1 2020, 11:17 PM

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QUOTE(PandreSS @ Mar 22 2020, 05:54 PM)
Reading all the other topics here I noticed most of them concern 20 year olds.
Anybody over 30, single, dating or searching for love? (Or is it just me?)
Share experiences, stories, tips or let's just rant about how it's harder the older you get.
*
Try dating site for older demographic , sugar baby dating site... They are more into matured ppl and less choosy abt looks.

QUOTE(l4nunm4l4y4 @ Mar 25 2020, 11:36 AM)
They resort to Tinder or SugarBabies app?
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Tinder only if you pay for subs can get best replies if not jgn harap laa. I swiped for two month got matced say hi.. then krikk krikk...

QUOTE(Angeline @ Mar 26 2020, 03:00 PM)
well, I am nearly to 40's now, so it will be more difficult for me especially I am woman. 30's guys will find their partners more easier than me.
*
Wait sister, dont stop looking, have u tried sugar baby dating site before? I found my partner there. Dont worry not all just into money. Hope this help.
l4nunm4l4y4
post Apr 2 2020, 10:08 AM

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QUOTE(cathyyell @ Apr 1 2020, 11:20 PM)
Tinder only if you pay for subs can get best replies if not jgn harap laa. I swiped for two month got matced say hi.. then krikk krikk...
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Of course, anything free, means its open to "abuse" and knowing Malaysians "Everything is free and grant me as I am entitled" mentality
cassie_90
post Apr 2 2020, 10:24 AM

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I'm in my early 30, the reason im not seeing anyone is first, i hardly meet anyone. My routine is work and gym.

Tinder doesnt work lol, no into all the fwb thingy. Secondly i don't want to settle for anything less than what i want. I think common interest, financially not too far off, and compatibility is very important.

During this MCO period, I'm alone due to i stay by my own. It's really hard tho, i do think of opening up myself a lil bit more to meet new people.

But then it strikes me, where can I even met new people? LOL

This post has been edited by cassie_90: Apr 2 2020, 10:24 AM
leah235
post Apr 2 2020, 10:29 AM

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I like the "based on an economic agreement".
Sounds so realistic.




UrbanGraduate
post Apr 2 2020, 04:28 PM

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QUOTE(Plant @ Mar 26 2020, 01:02 PM)
I dated a lot of young girl, early 20’s.  Most of them study, some i ghosted them cause not right channel. Some they ghosted me, some obviously gold digger and some sex partner only. I know got few girls have a crush on me but I rejected them cause too high maintain  , no thanks

Usually I met them through event, works place and sometime in public place, just says hi and make small conversation then ask number saja. Some rejected or ignore me, some suprisely  gave me their number, only young girl. Older girls won’t even give me number and Jual mahal lol
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creepy
squarepilot
post Apr 2 2020, 05:53 PM

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QUOTE(PandreSS @ Mar 22 2020, 05:54 PM)
Reading all the other topics here I noticed most of them concern 20 year olds.
Anybody over 30, single, dating or searching for love? (Or is it just me?)
Share experiences, stories, tips or let's just rant about how it's harder the older you get.
*
As ladies age 30 and above, i think just being direct is best. No pull and push string, no testing water here and there. straight to the point if you have intention.

I'm with my GF currently, we were together when she were 31.

We knew each other from another friend. i find her not bad looking. i managed to get her FB and we started texting. we went out for couple of times and without wasting time i confess to her

It takes her few days to make her decision and after that we are together
biruNippon
post Apr 4 2020, 09:13 PM

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QUOTE(tctham @ Mar 31 2020, 05:09 PM)

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Thank you so much for sharing them with all of us notworthy.gif
cathyyell P
post Apr 5 2020, 01:12 PM

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QUOTE(l4nunm4l4y4 @ Apr 2 2020, 10:08 AM)
Of course, anything free, means its open to "abuse" and knowing Malaysians "Everything is free and grant me as I am entitled" mentality
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I agree with this brother. Thats why im more inclined to platform which promotes premium based user like our friend here mentioned sugarbook. If free also no motivation to use the platform cause we are not paying for it. Our hard earned moneyyyy flex.gif


QUOTE(cassie_90 @ Apr 2 2020, 10:24 AM)
I'm in my early 30, the reason im not seeing anyone is first, i hardly meet anyone. My routine is work and gym.

Tinder doesnt work lol, no into all the fwb thingy. Secondly i don't want to settle for anything less than what i want. I think common interest, financially not too far off, and compatibility is very important.

During this MCO period, I'm alone due to i stay by my own. It's really hard tho, i do think of opening up myself a lil bit more to meet new people.

But then it strikes me, where can I even met new people? LOL
*
That is amazing, work and gym i will never be able to do it. I have no such drive. Im just all about work and sleep.
Come on, we never stop using online dating app. I understand we have some break time, but if ur not seeing anyone atm, its good to show ur presence online. brows.gif
jasliniceicekal
post Apr 6 2020, 01:51 AM

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QUOTE(friedricetheman @ Mar 30 2020, 11:04 AM)
I believe that dating in the 30s should be dating for long term ie. looking at marriage or long term relationships.

I got married in my 20s so I have only dated through my late teens and up into my 20s.

But my advice to you guys is not to waste a girl's time if shes also in her 30s. If you are not really into her or can't see yourself being with her for the long term, please just let her go.
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Wisest advice of the century!
cassie_90
post Apr 6 2020, 09:23 AM

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QUOTE(cathyyell @ Apr 5 2020, 01:12 PM)
I agree with this brother. Thats why im more inclined to platform which promotes premium based user like our friend here mentioned sugarbook. If free also no motivation to use the platform cause we are not paying for it. Our hard earned moneyyyy flex.gif
That is amazing, work and gym i will never be able to do it. I have no such drive. Im just all about work and sleep.
Come on, we never stop using online dating app. I understand we have some break time, but if ur not seeing anyone atm, its good to show ur presence online. brows.gif
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Tinder is only for DTF ppl lo, im just there making pen pal.
cathyyell P
post Apr 6 2020, 12:57 PM

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QUOTE(jasliniceicekal @ Apr 6 2020, 01:51 AM)
Wisest advice of the century!
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Love. If you are lucky you may find good people, good partner. Couples should just be honest about what they really want. Some men didnt say hey want to f#ck only they keep the girl hanging.

QUOTE(cassie_90 @ Apr 6 2020, 09:23 AM)
Tinder is only for DTF ppl lo, im just there making pen pal.
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Definitely, but for more mature ppl they are platforms for them to find friends etc.

 

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