https://www.thestar.com.my/lifestyle/family...satisfy-my-wife

My relationship with my wife is getting worse as we argue a lot, and we can’t seem to see eye to eye on some matters, such as sex.

She is 34 and I am 44. We used to have a good relationship. We are staying apart as she is from Indonesia and I am from Malaysia. She has a seven-year-old daughter.

At present, my financial situation is not good.

The problem started when she asked for phone sex all the time or talked about sex, saying I’m not sensitive to her needs and cannot fulfil her sexual desire.

I work from morning till late at night. I get too tired and stressed.

She always blames me for not giving her what she wants, and our relationship is not getting any better.

I tried to explain to her my situation as I worry about our future and I don’t think about sex as my stress is all about how to solve my problems and trying to make ends meet.

She says I don’t understand her.

I’m already mentally stressed about money, and how to give her and her kid a better life, to get them to come over and live with me.

But her impatience makes me more stressed although I’ve tried my best to explain things to her. She knows my situation well but says I am giving excuses. She feels upset each time we talk.

I do love her very much, but she doesn’t seem to understand how stressed out I am, and that I can’t give her what she wants. i.e. sex and romance.

I work every single day, to pay the bills and debts. She works too but she has her family to take care of, since she’s the sole provider in her family.

I am tired. By the time I come home from work, it’s late – and she wants phone sex. If I say I’m tired, she gets angry and hangs up.

Her daughter feels I’m a bad stepdad, an unloving person who doesn’t understand her mum. I feel sad.

I don’t know what to do now, as she keeps blaming me for even small things.

I suggested that we get help from a counsellor, but she refuses.

I hope she can change, and be understanding and patient. I’m trying to build a family by working hard but, at the moment, I’m struggling. That makes me stressed out every day.

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