I have a sudden realization lately. There's this ordinary day I decided to lunch alone, the place was packed, there's no choice but to sit with other strangers, so I asked the malay girls if there's anyone sitting opposite, they answered no.

After some time, they suddenly talked to me, asking me why i'm not with my friends during lunch, then we just chat casually, they said i'm cute and good looking, then i just flirt back, knowing i never see them again.

Then i recalled back in my school days, i seemed to attract malay girls as well, thinking i'm cute and stuffs, some even wanted to be my girlfriend.

I just dont get it, why?
And then married women (not that old, around 35 to 40), i can detect similar behavior too, almost very likely they'll commend my looks, i can see they're not faking it.

On the other hand, the one that i actually wanted (those cute, hot girls), have around 50% chance of responding well to me.
Some outright reject my friend request, reject my advances, as if i'm a monster, while some open to it as if the door is not locked.
But I would say the one that i really wanted, will not behave as i expected it to, hot but not as hot ones will likely open up to me.

I'm wondering if the saying holds true "you're likely feel happier with a partner that's less attractive", so far to me is yes, hot ones are difficult to keep, someday it will end without notice, sometimes you'll suffer a period of indifference from them. But I can't blame anyone but myself for only choosing the hot ones, i never bat an eye on the less attractive ones knowing i will probably feeling not satisfied and wasting their time.

Recently, my last hot gf of 1 year finally decided to not reply me anymore without notice, right after i proposed where to go for valentines, i take the silence as she's finally moving on, i didnt take any further action and respect her decision. I'm thinking whether the frequency i'm trying to go to bed with her caused this outcome, but oh well, either way it's fine, knowing our sex drive dont match, there's no need to force things anymore.

Have you find out what’s the issue from you?

For example u not rich enough, can’t fulfil her all the time, hot girl meaning outside have a lot of choices than you.
Or else you’re not understanding what she needs.

To me attractive just an attraction nothing relation about Long and healthy relationships

This post has been edited by Benefon: Feb 16 2020, 04:15 PM

I think to keep the hot ones is to satisfy her emotional needs.

You just need to become the right drug for her to keep addicted to you.

For some reason, the past few girls i've been with are rich, despite that they didnt seem to be high maintenance, there's no implying from them that i should spend a ton of cash on them if we're going to get together, in fact i didnt really spend much, not that im stingy, im totally fine and happy spending with them, but they will fork out money and share cost with me when together.

So money's not an issue, they have it. What's left is emotional needs, im more than happy to fulfilling them too, im willing to listen to problems, help out when needed, basically go the extra mile, i dont mind. But for some reason, they dont seem want me to do it. Whenever i offer help, they seem to decline it. Like they have cough, im free that time so i get some herbal stuffs and head to her house, they dont want me to do that, but in some cases i ignored the declination and went for it. Another example is they indicated there's some problems faced and want to rant, when i said indicated im ready to listen, they instead chose to not proceed. I just dont understand why, it feels as if they dont want to trouble me, but thats what relationship is for right?

If there's any logical explanation i can think of, maybe it's really due to money, maybe they knew im not rich enough to give her the lifestyle, hence they refrain me from spending much altogether, or maybe they got bored of me, thats all i can think of.

Im still experimenting how to be the right drug. For my 2nd last girl, i was too nice to her, there's no challenge, i let her know she got me already, at some point i guess no challenge is boring and she left without giving concrete reason.

After that, i tried not to be easy and keep giving anymore, at times will give her some heart wrenching moment vague showing im with other girls (if she started to misbehave), it yielded some result, but maybe not enough to change the outcome? I think it's likely i appeared to be always wanting to go to bed made her got the wrong idea and finally pull the trigger to drop me.

One thing i noticed is girls will think a lot after every intimate session, maybe thats when she finally realize my pattern and frequency.

Attracting malay girls and matured women... you probably has baby face and double eyelids? Maybe even slightly dark skin? Are you muscular? Are you chinese?

Typical chinese girls don't like muscular guys because it's intimidating, they prefer lean guys. Looking like a sex god is also a turn off to most chinese girls, but attracts a lot of other girls. Too handsome is also viewed as non-secure. If dark skin that can also minus points.

If you have high sex drive, it can be hard to find a HOT & CUTE chinese girl that matches your sex drive. Usually they are reserved and parents teach them that "sex is bad and dirty".

Also, it sounds like you still flirt with other girls even when you're in a relationship. For most girls that's like a deal-breaker that you're not a keeper. And in this case, being good-looking and treating OTHER people well only makes this worse.

you're stunningly accurate, i have a baby face as they claimed, double eyelids with long eye lashes, skin color wise im very pale/white. Chinese, and considered lean to thin type, definitely not big bulky muscular type. But somehow, the ones that i've encountered prefer a buff guy for a sense of "protection", some even said i look weak and wind can blow me away.

also you're right, about 80% of the girls i've been with are conservative, some of them took it to extreme (no marry no sex). You made me have a sudden realization how many girls i've beeded, i can count with my fingers, due to their reservative nature.

as for flirt, you see, if my girlfriend so far has behaved as expected (reciprocate my actions, be sweet to each other, dont let the spark die out, dont show any red flags action), there's really no reason why i would do anything that will harm our relationship. Take 1 of my past girl as example, she had showed me a lot of green flags initially (share cost in dating, being really sweet, submissive, good intimate sessions, agreeable, etc), however sweet time dont last long, about 1 month later she need to work in oversea for 6 months.

During that 6 months, i never had sex with anyone, never flirt, even cut off contact with some of the closer females, but along the way i realized i burned the bridge too soon. My girl started to misbehave, doesnt want to maintain the short period of LDR (come on, it's just 6 months????), around 2nd or 3rd month she dont bother to video call anymore despite i asked, all the red flags started to come out. Until one point i've accumulated enough disappointment and decided not to care, thats when i started to flirt while we not yet officially part ways.

im a keeper, usually it's the girl suddenly have 180 degree change of attitude without further notice, until now im still finding the answer.
there's a chinese saying, all people are born with kindness at the start, it's the latter events that force certain people to turn evil, etc.

hensem dah tapi poket kosong?

what about the auditor girl?

if you could only choose between hot one vs cute one,
of course you're going for hot one,
not only it's worth the ballsyness, hotter ones actually respect guys who went for it.

that's why often times we see those womanizer (assholes, maybe), ended up with hotter girls.

i'd think its not the appearance that counts, its the approach that counts.
some have low maintenance, which you doesn't need to do much and will submit as long as you give enough attention to them. some have high maintenance which you need to splurge on them in order to stay in the game.

if outright your intention is to bed them, be prepared to be backfired. most of them are not outright open minded when it comes to casual sleep around.. even relationship they will think twice before jumping in. some might even have cold feet whenever they have insecure in their heart.

Word of advice - you can only attract mediocre girls because you are mediocre.

Telling lies to yourself in a bid to boost your own ego is never going to get you any where.

Maybe your personality is not what they are looking for once the "look" attraction phase is over.