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> Do I have a chance to be with her?

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TSnrenfeng P
post Jan 14 2020, 10:17 PM, updated 2w ago

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I met this girl through my friend's intro. First impression was alright. She is sweet, friendly and very well-mannered.

I managed to ask her out several times (4-5 times) after our first date. We went out for dinner and movies, often back only in the midnight. We spent time chatting happily and found out we have much common interest and experience. However, throughout these few dates, I never touch her hands and we did not have any physical contact. Most of our topics are about hobbies, work, food stuffs. We did not talk about 'love and relationship' issues because I am afraid i may make her feel uncomfortable.

I like her, she is a nice girl and single. However, I do not know how she thinks of me. I am afraid she thinks of me as a friend only.

Do I stand a chance actually? I am not a very rich, good looking person or a guy with muscular physique. Just a normal guy earning decent pay.

Should I confess to her? Or should we go out for more dates to see how it goes? Any advice?
bytes00
post Jan 14 2020, 10:24 PM

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Well a great experience to share and kuddos!
Love and acceptance need some time to cultivate. Meanwhile just wait for a little longer and during the Valentine give her suprise and ask her out.
If she gives a yes, then you may proceed and congratulations!
ViktorJ
post Jan 14 2020, 10:32 PM

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QUOTE(nrenfeng @ Jan 14 2020, 10:17 PM)
I like her, she is a nice girl and single. However, I do not know how she thinks of me. I am afraid she thinks of me as a friend only.
*
Only 2 ways for you to find out what she is looking for in a guy, and what she thinks of you:

1. Ask her
2. Ask Lowyat forum

This post has been edited by ViktorJ: Jan 16 2020, 01:54 PM
daidragon12
post Jan 14 2020, 10:33 PM

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If she is willing to go out with u 4-5x, means she should be fine with it. Just be brave to tell her how u feel
fat_fai
post Jan 14 2020, 11:05 PM

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hold her hand & sweet talk her
Fanvil1534
post Jan 15 2020, 12:41 AM

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QUOTE(nrenfeng @ Jan 14 2020, 10:17 PM)
I met this girl through my friend's intro. First impression was alright. She is sweet, friendly and very well-mannered.

I managed to ask her out several times (4-5 times) after our first date. We went out for dinner and movies, often back only in the midnight. We spent time chatting happily and found out we have much common interest and experience. However, throughout these few dates, I never touch her hands and we did not have any physical contact. Most of our topics are about hobbies, work, food stuffs. We did not talk about 'love and relationship' issues because I am afraid i may make her feel uncomfortable.

I like her, she is a nice girl and single. However, I do not know how she thinks of me. I am afraid she thinks of me as a friend only.

Do I stand a chance actually? I am not a very rich, good looking person or a guy with muscular physique. Just a normal guy earning decent pay.

Should I confess to her? Or should we go out for more dates to see how it goes? Any advice?
*
If you have to ask, nope. You don't have a chance.
New Klang
post Jan 15 2020, 01:10 AM

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You have no chance

If she likes you, she will give you hints
Drian
post Jan 15 2020, 10:09 AM

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Escalate.

Max.Plan
post Jan 15 2020, 10:22 AM

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A girl willing to go out with you 1 on 1 usually has some feeling toward you. Since she has been go out with you several times, highly its a green light. Make another date, start to have some little physical touch and you may tell her your feeling. Valentine day is around the corner and the night is yours.
kl920930
post Jan 15 2020, 10:57 AM

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QUOTE(ViktorJ @ Jan 14 2020, 10:32 PM)
Only 3 ways for you to find out what she is looking for in a guy, and what she thinks of you:

1. Ask her
2. Ask Lowyat forum
3. Pay RM2k/month
*
am curious what's about the 3. Pay RM2k/month laugh.gif
ViktorJ
post Jan 15 2020, 07:33 PM

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QUOTE(kl920930 @ Jan 15 2020, 10:57 AM)
am curious what's about the 3. Pay RM2k/month  laugh.gif
*
shrug, probably generic reddit garbage

In any case, the comment is now gone, as it should be.

Anyhow TS, just ask. We always fear rejection, but often we need to face it nonetheless. Whether or not you ask, the decision could already be made.
vinnyming
post Jan 16 2020, 09:25 AM

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Fortune favors the bold, they say.
biruNippon
post Jan 16 2020, 01:50 PM

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QUOTE(ViktorJ @ Jan 14 2020, 10:32 PM)
Only 3 ways for you to find out what she is looking for in a guy, and what she thinks of you:

1. Ask her
2. Ask Lowyat forum
*
and the 3rd way ?
ViktorJ
post Jan 16 2020, 01:53 PM

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QUOTE(biruNippon @ Jan 16 2020, 01:50 PM)
and the 3rd way ?
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Apparently no longer applicable
biruNippon
post Jan 16 2020, 02:02 PM

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QUOTE(ViktorJ @ Jan 16 2020, 01:53 PM)
Apparently no longer applicable
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saw it. Thanks
unitron
post Jan 16 2020, 02:21 PM

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QUOTE(Fanvil1534 @ Jan 15 2020, 12:41 AM)
If you have to ask, nope. You don't have a chance.
*
QUOTE(New Klang @ Jan 15 2020, 01:10 AM)
You have no chance

If she likes you, she will give you hints
*
QUOTE(Drian @ Jan 15 2020, 10:09 AM)
Escalate.
*
As above...

Every girl i confess was a failure... kena reject or they tried to avoid the topic.
Every girl i didn't confess, and just acted on it, became GF... normally they are the one confessing cool2.gif
sweet_pez
post Jan 16 2020, 07:17 PM

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QUOTE(nrenfeng @ Jan 14 2020, 10:17 PM)
I met this girl through my friend's intro. First impression was alright. She is sweet, friendly and very well-mannered.

I managed to ask her out several times (4-5 times) after our first date. We went out for dinner and movies, often back only in the midnight. We spent time chatting happily and found out we have much common interest and experience. However, throughout these few dates, I never touch her hands and we did not have any physical contact. Most of our topics are about hobbies, work, food stuffs. We did not talk about 'love and relationship' issues because I am afraid i may make her feel uncomfortable.

I like her, she is a nice girl and single. However, I do not know how she thinks of me. I am afraid she thinks of me as a friend only.

Do I stand a chance actually? I am not a very rich, good looking person or a guy with muscular physique. Just a normal guy earning decent pay.

Should I confess to her? Or should we go out for more dates to see how it goes? Any advice?
*
That's awesome, seems like everything is going well. You don't have to feel inferior in any way. Not every woman or girl is looking for someone rich, good looking or looks like he lifts at least 120kg.

Have more confidence in yourself. A woman likes someone who can give them some sort of security - ie you have a stable job, you're able to make her happy, help her, support when she needs someone to rely on etc. Best to refrain from physical contact until there's some positive indication that she returns the favour biggrin.gif

How long have you 2 been meeting or texting each other?

It boils down to how you feel and what you want?
- Are you feeling the chemistry? good enough to be honest about your feelings?
- Ready to take this relationship to the next level (ie. be bf-gf)
- Ready to accept her even if she has her weaknesses?

Very often when 2 people meet for a couple of hours outside to eat, movie, chat etc you'll see the positive side but everyone have their strengths and weaknesses. You'll need to be mentally ready to accept a person as a whole - both the good and bad in a package - if you wish to date them. No doubt communication is vital in this case.

You can start by dropping hints, strong hints. Followed by some sort of flirting or lines that indicates interest. Teasing could be part of them too. See her reaction to these and gauge whether she's into you. A girl/ woman who get your hint and has no interest in you (only sees you no more than a friend) will give you passive response and her reaction will likely be delayed or perhaps even pull back a little - assuming she didn't want to lead you on.

But this is just to gauge whether she's into you. There are those who might react the same way because she's not sure, it's still too early etc. So don't take it as an absolute 'no' unless she said so herself after a confession.

If the signs of you showing interest is being returned in a positive manner, I'll say that's very positive and you can start pursuing in a more aggressive manner or follow up with a confession. "Go with the flow" is also a good thing thumbsup.gif you'll need to be able to judge the timing and mood in making your move. Just my 2 cents. All the best!!!
momo_x15 P
post Jan 17 2020, 12:58 AM

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It's a good sign that she continue to go out with you.

Learn to watch her body language as well. Actually its pretty easy to tell if she interested in you through her body language. Whether she smiles a lot at you, she looks shy, she appreciate when you treat me meal/ fetch her home, etc.

Go out for a few more dates and see how it goes. Confess only when you are very confident that she doesn't see you as just friend. And also try to get some hints from her whether she is looking for a relationship at the moment.
McFD2R
post Jan 17 2020, 03:26 PM

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Signs are positive. I'd straight ask, "I like you, and I would like to see more of you. I would like to hold your hands now if that's alright with you". If she gives a straight no, it's obvious. But if she doesn't say no, nor does she say yes, just reach for the hand.

Upon holding her hand, relax and come up with a quick tense release moment line, for example. "Never knew I was that brave to do this", or if she doesn't pull away after few 5 seconds, "I feel like I'm on cloud nine". Because it can get awkward if after holding hands, both says nothing for too long.

Be bold. At most, she rejects you.
-=warner=-
post Jan 17 2020, 05:21 PM

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Just continue to date few more times, engage in other kind of activities like sports or visit some special place, unintentional physical contact chance will rise up (watch out for her when crossing the road or help carry some of her stuff).
damnguy36
post Jan 17 2020, 05:48 PM

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Valentine days around the corner, why don't take this chance to date and confess , if she willing to date In This special day ,sure u got 80%
bryanhwm
post Feb 10 2020, 01:28 AM

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QUOTE(ViktorJ @ Jan 14 2020, 10:32 PM)
Only 2 ways for you to find out what she is looking for in a guy, and what she thinks of you:

1. Ask her
2. Ask Lowyat forum
*
Option 2 is always the best choice
ymc2303
post Feb 10 2020, 01:40 AM

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going out more than once considerately makes your chance higher with each date.. plus coming back late is also consider a point that she is comfortable with you other wise, she could say no.
be brave and be initiative. she is waiting for you to make a move. seal the deal, man you can do it.
Hollow21
post Feb 10 2020, 03:00 PM

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Any updates?
il0ve51
post Feb 10 2020, 04:51 PM

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date on valentine, if out confirm green light. propose her that day and you will save anniversary & valentine celebration together
renomahans
post Feb 12 2020, 08:12 AM

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Ts would you think a girl willing to go 4-5 dates with you for fun ah ???

For sure she is evaluating you la

After 10 dates you should ask her what she thinks of you, probably try to hold her hand. Make excuse to take her somewheere then say to her “come I wanna show you something” then grab her hand And hold her.

If she no resist, then take her to a quiet place for meal and ask her to be your gf
TSnrenfeng P
post Feb 16 2020, 11:52 AM

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QUOTE(damnguy36 @ Jan 17 2020, 05:48 PM)
Valentine days around the corner, why don't take this chance to date and confess , if she willing to date In This special day ,sure u got 80%
*
QUOTE(il0ve51 @ Feb 10 2020, 04:51 PM)
date on valentine, if out confirm green light. propose her that day and you will save anniversary & valentine celebration together
*
QUOTE(Hollow21 @ Feb 10 2020, 03:00 PM)
Any updates?
*
We went for valentine dinner. But I did not confess or hold her hand that day. The reason for this is because I am worried, cause I feel like she is treating me as normal friend. Like no reaction from her. I do not have much confidence. Not that I am insensitive, but I just cant feel it.


QUOTE(renomahans @ Feb 12 2020, 08:12 AM)
Ts would you think a girl willing to go 4-5 dates with you for fun ah ???

For sure she is evaluating you la

After 10 dates you should ask her what she thinks of you, probably try to hold her hand. Make excuse to take her somewheere then say to her “come I wanna show you something” then grab her hand And hold her.

If she no resist, then take her to a quiet place for meal and ask her to be your gf
*
We have been more than 5 dates, but i still yet to hold her hand or confess. Maybe I should see her reaction first?
Captain89
post Feb 16 2020, 12:22 PM

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QUOTE(nrenfeng @ Feb 16 2020, 11:52 AM)
We went for valentine dinner. But I did not confess or hold her hand that day. The reason for this is because I am worried, cause I feel like she is treating me as normal friend. Like no reaction from her. I do not have much confidence. Not that I am insensitive, but I just cant feel it. 
We have been more than 5 dates, but i still yet to hold her hand or confess. Maybe I should see her reaction first?
*
And she's not getting touchy? Hmmm
renomahans
post Feb 16 2020, 12:27 PM

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QUOTE(nrenfeng @ Feb 16 2020, 11:52 AM)
We went for valentine dinner. But I did not confess or hold her hand that day. The reason for this is because I am worried, cause I feel like she is treating me as normal friend. Like no reaction from her. I do not have much confidence. Not that I am insensitive, but I just cant feel it. 
We have been more than 5 dates, but i still yet to hold her hand or confess. Maybe I should see her reaction first?
*
Fact that she agree to go valentine dinner with you is not a huge sign ????

The more longer you wait, she must be thinking how sincere you are torwards her

You must have the talk with her
Tell her you r interested in her
And ask her what she think of a rship ? To be ur gf
You must take a leapt of faith
It could go both ways
But at least you tried

Hollow21
post Feb 16 2020, 02:41 PM

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QUOTE(nrenfeng @ Feb 16 2020, 11:52 AM)
We went for valentine dinner. But I did not confess or hold her hand that day. The reason for this is because I am worried, cause I feel like she is treating me as normal friend. Like no reaction from her. I do not have much confidence. Not that I am insensitive, but I just cant feel it. 
We have been more than 5 dates, but i still yet to hold her hand or confess. Maybe I should see her reaction first?
*
How was her reaction? Was she talkative and happy during and after the dinner?
TSnrenfeng P
post Feb 16 2020, 04:32 PM

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QUOTE(Captain89 @ Feb 16 2020, 12:22 PM)
And she's not getting touchy? Hmmm
*
she acted normal, just like our normal date. she didnt give sign or at least minimal sign of reciprocation

QUOTE(Hollow21 @ Feb 16 2020, 02:41 PM)
How was her reaction? Was she talkative and happy during and after the dinner?
*
normal date, normal she. we chat and normal mood

QUOTE(renomahans @ Feb 16 2020, 12:27 PM)
Fact that she agree to go valentine dinner with you is not a huge sign ????

The more longer you wait, she must be thinking how sincere you are torwards her

You must have the talk with her
Tell her you r interested in her
And ask her what she think of a rship ? To be ur gf
You must take a leapt of faith
It could go both ways
But at least you tried
*
I just don't have the confidence cause she's acting normal only. i don see any sign and honestly i can feel that she likes me. she did wish me happy valentine, i gave her jewellery, she said she liked a lot and thanks. But maybe being polite. cause she never even once give hint like she is ready to be in a relationship with me
Captain89
post Feb 16 2020, 04:39 PM

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QUOTE(nrenfeng @ Feb 16 2020, 04:32 PM)
she acted normal, just like our normal date. she didnt give sign or at least minimal sign of reciprocation
normal date, normal she. we chat and normal mood
I just don't have the confidence cause she's acting normal only. i don see any sign and honestly i can feel that she likes me. she did wish me happy valentine, i gave her jewellery, she said she liked a lot and thanks. But maybe being polite. cause she never even once give hint like she is ready to be in a relationship with me
*
Maybe she's just too shy to open up with all signs and hints
At least she accepted ur valentine date

y3ivan
post Feb 16 2020, 04:44 PM

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You didnt make any move, don't expect she will do anything right.

It's as simple as opening the door and lightly holding her waist when walking through a door. Nothing more lingering than 3 seconds.

If she is ok with it, means she's ready for next level - hold hands, etc
Hollow21
post Feb 16 2020, 05:09 PM

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QUOTE(nrenfeng @ Feb 16 2020, 04:32 PM)
she acted normal, just like our normal date. she didnt give sign or at least minimal sign of reciprocation
normal date, normal she. we chat and normal mood
I just don't have the confidence cause she's acting normal only. i don see any sign and honestly i can feel that she likes me. she did wish me happy valentine, i gave her jewellery, she said she liked a lot and thanks. But maybe being polite. cause she never even once give hint like she is ready to be in a relationship with me
*
She accepted your jewellery. That's a very strong hint already on Valentine's day.

Continue to text and ask her out. If there's no adverse reaction like slow response, avoiding, etc...I think.you are there.

Good luck. Keep us posted.
siew14
post Feb 16 2020, 06:17 PM

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How old is she and does she have any dating experience ie. bf before? And hows her mentality like? mature and independent?

Anyway, too many missing info here.

However, these are my views:

1) If she doesnt have any bf before, i think u need to be more bold and lead her. Dont have to act gentleman to wait for her to initiate any physical touch. I feel, after 2nd date, if both of you are still doing OK, you can start touch her hand or grab her waist to test water. Pls avoid butt and breast those sensitive areas. Her reaction will tells you where you stand in this relationship/dating thing.

2) if she has bf before aka lao shi ji, most likely eat u alive in 2nd date provided that she is comfortable with you or interested on you. true story.

Sorry to say, but nowadays gals can be or are as horny as men.

I seriously feel that you could be her first bf, please proof me wrong by updating me pls. haha

J1g54w
post Feb 16 2020, 09:18 PM

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QUOTE(nrenfeng @ Jan 14 2020, 10:17 PM)
I met this girl through my friend's intro. First impression was alright. She is sweet, friendly and very well-mannered.

I managed to ask her out several times (4-5 times) after our first date. We went out for dinner and movies, often back only in the midnight. We spent time chatting happily and found out we have much common interest and experience. However, throughout these few dates, I never touch her hands and we did not have any physical contact. Most of our topics are about hobbies, work, food stuffs. We did not talk about 'love and relationship' issues because I am afraid i may make her feel uncomfortable.

I like her, she is a nice girl and single. However, I do not know how she thinks of me. I am afraid she thinks of me as a friend only.

Do I stand a chance actually? I am not a very rich, good looking person or a guy with muscular physique. Just a normal guy earning decent pay.

Should I confess to her? Or should we go out for more dates to see how it goes? Any advice?
*
You can test the water by asking what kind of guy she likes as a partner. If the description doesn't sound like you then she's just probably being friends with you. If it's positive, then you can try to go ahead and let her know how you feel towards her, but most importantly the occassion should not be overwhelming because it will give a lot of pressure on her. Instead you can just let her know that she's not obliged to like you back or answer you immediately because you just want to let her know how you really feel about her that's all.
renomahans
post Feb 17 2020, 08:25 AM

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QUOTE(nrenfeng @ Feb 16 2020, 04:32 PM)
she acted normal, just like our normal date. she didnt give sign or at least minimal sign of reciprocation
normal date, normal she. we chat and normal mood
I just don't have the confidence cause she's acting normal only. i don see any sign and honestly i can feel that she likes me. she did wish me happy valentine, i gave her jewellery, she said she liked a lot and thanks. But maybe being polite. cause she never even once give hint like she is ready to be in a relationship with me
*
Pal
U r like halfway here n there
If u pursue someone or something do it all the way
Or don’t
Girls don’t like guys who do things halfway or half past six
At least try


il0ve51
post Feb 17 2020, 11:00 AM

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QUOTE(nrenfeng @ Feb 16 2020, 12:52 PM)
We went for valentine dinner. But I did not confess or hold her hand that day. The reason for this is because I am worried, cause I feel like she is treating me as normal friend. Like no reaction from her. I do not have much confidence. Not that I am insensitive, but I just cant feel it. 
We have been more than 5 dates, but i still yet to hold her hand or confess. Maybe I should see her reaction first?
*
if she go out valentine dinner with you mean 2 outcome.
Either she eat free meal or she into you.
If no feeling then maybe you kena take advantage.
maybe you never see her hint or she is noob at showing emotion.

if she dress nice nice + no make up no hint = eat free meal
if she dress nice nice + got make up no hint = maybe just noob
if she dress noob noob + no make up no hint = eat free meal
if she dress noob noob + got make up no hint = maybe just noob

*make-up as usually no make-up but during vday makeup for you. not those usually already makeup gao gao everytime leave house. if those show no hint usually just eat free meal.
damnguy36
post Feb 17 2020, 11:15 PM

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QUOTE(nrenfeng @ Feb 16 2020, 11:52 AM)
We went for valentine dinner. But I did not confess or hold her hand that day. The reason for this is because I am worried, cause I feel like she is treating me as normal friend. Like no reaction from her. I do not have much confidence. Not that I am insensitive, but I just cant feel it. 
We have been more than 5 dates, but i still yet to hold her hand or confess. Maybe I should see her reaction first?
*
Trust me if u drag longer, she really will treat u as friend, cause many guy will come along if not confirm with u

Don't regret after time pass

Good luck,

 

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