Issue #17Pre-marital sex and young Christian couples who are dating seriously.
- post #402
QUOTE(prelude23 @ Nov 5 2019 @ 03:35 AM)
Someone pointed me here from my thread.https://forum.lowyat.net/topic/4860139/+60#
Just wanna share my story and the consequences of sin.
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QUOTE(lurkingaround @ Nov 5 2019 @ 12:24 PM)
Please refer to 1COR.7 for your "diagnosis" from God/Jesus, eg " For it is better to marry than to burn with passion."
4 years in a romantic relationship without sex and/or petting is quite unbearable(especially for the man) and may be a sin against both the young sexually virile partners.
My personal opinion and solution is for such a young committed Christian couple to be Spirit'ually married in front of God, like how Adam was married to Eve, consummate the marriage but practice birth-control, until they can legally and/or financially marry later on = cannot divorce once spiritually married by God = a grave sin to divorce.
In ancient days, eg in the OT and Imperial China, youths were married off by their parents soon after puberty, ie in their mid-teens = no problem of pre-marital sex and sexual sins like yours. Since the 1950s, society has changed to compel youths to only be able to be married after their 20s, eg educational and financial requirements = problem of pre-marital sex, sexual sins like yours(could not bear with no pre-marital sex) and unmarried teen pregnancies.
So, maybe you should stop feeling guilty about your sexual sin(= sexting) with your divorced lady friend and throw the Bible book of 1COR.7 and GEN.2:24 at your ex-gf. If this does not solve the problem with your ex-gf, then you will just have to move on.
Best of luck, have a good rest and good day.
P S - I knew of a similar story between a young committed Christian couple in a US college. The gf insisted on no pre-marital sex. This was since they got together in high-school = 5 years. So the bf acquiesced.
....... Somehow, the gf ended up losing her virginity to a non-Christian male college mate. Most probably in a drunken college party. So, they broke up and the bf was never the same again afterwards = stayed gf-less, Churchless and single in his 30s was the last I heard of him. The ex-gf probably became Churchless as well, eg married an unbeliever.
Girls get drunk much faster than boys, for the same amount of alcohol consumed because their digestive systems do not efficiently excrete alcohol. Many young gullible girls do not know this, get pushed to drink at parties, became drunk and easily raped or gang-raped.
QUOTE(prelude23 @ Nov 5 2019 @ 05:09 PM)
We are actually not young. I'm 31 and she's 30.
I dont know how should I stop feeling guilty about what I did because the fact is that I did something very wrong.
Is there such practice as spiritually married? Anyway, the two verse you shared doesnt really justify its okay to sexual sin right? How can I share this to her?
QUOTE(lurkingaround @ Nov 5 2019 @ 05:50 PM)
You would not have committed the sexting-sin against your ex-gf if she had not insisted on the no-premarital sex rule or if both of you had gotten Spirit'ually married and consummated. So, the root blame may lie in incorrect Christian teaching that burdens God's young people - whereas, the Lord/God Jesus Christ said that His yoke is easy and His burden is light. 4 to 5 years of no-sex for a committed young Christian legally-unmarried couple is too much of a burden to bear.
Or both of you should have pushed and gotten legally married 3 to 4 years ago = you would not have recently sinned.
Sex between a Spirit'ually married Christian couple is not a sin/evil-deed/law-breaking.
Did we have lawyers and legal marriage papers when Adam married Eve, Abraham married Sarah, Jacob married Rachel, etc.? = they were Spirit'ually married, and not legally married by a local authority.
Today, legal marriage papers is only a requirement by the local authorities for the purpose of inheritance, spousal benefits, legal recognition of offsprings for access to government facilities, etc. If you do not need these purposes of a legal marriage paper, then obeying God/Jesus/the-Spirit is more important than obeying Caesar/government(MATTHEW.22:21) wrt marriage and sex, as per 1COR.7 and GEN.2:24.
JOHN.3:5-8 (NKJV) = 5 Jesus answered, “Most assuredly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God. 6 That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit. 7 Do not marvel that I said to you, ‘You must be born again.’ 8 The wind blows where it wishes, and you hear the sound of it, but cannot tell where it comes from and where it goes. So is everyone who is born of the Spirit.”
JOHN.4:21-26 = 21 Jesus said to her, “Woman, believe Me, the hour is coming when you will neither on this mountain, nor in Jerusalem, worship the Father. 22 You worship what you do not know; we know what we worship, for salvation is of the Jews. 23 But the hour is coming, and now is, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth; for the Father is seeking such to worship Him. 24 God is Spirit, and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth.”
25 The woman said to Him, “I know that Messiah is coming” (who is called Christ). “When He comes, He will tell us all things.”
26 Jesus said to her, “I who speak to you am He.”
JOHN.14:25-26 = 25 “These things I have spoken to you while being present with you. 26 But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all things that I said to you.
You can share this to her by printing the replies on this page and giving it to her to read. Let her decide. If she is not persuaded to reconcile with you and maybe also give up her no-premarital-sex-rule, then you should just let go of her and move on.
....... Maybe take some time out to rest and wallow in your grief/sadness or see a doctor for temporary relief of your insomnia/depression.
QUOTE(prelude23 @ Nov 5 2019 @ 06:23 PM)
But why would she agree to a spiritual marriage if its as important as legally married?
QUOTE(lurkingaround @ Nov 5 2019 @ 06:37 PM)
Spirit'ually married means you are married in front of God, who is Spirit = Omni-present, Omnipotent and Omniscient.
Legally married means you are married in front of a local authority official(= Caesar/government), who could only kill your body but not your soul. God can kill both your body and your soul in hell, eg if you unjustly divorce your wife after being Spirit'ually married to her - MATTHEW.10:28. In comparison, in a legal divorce, the government/Family-courts just force you to give half your assets and/or pay alimony to your ex-wife.
If both the bf and gf are faithful and God-fearing Christians, it is much better for them to be Spirit'ually married than legally married if the former is the only choice due to "unforeseen" circumstances.
Are you a faithful and God-fearing Christian or just a CINO(Christian In Name Only).? Some CINOs go to Church just to get a faithful Christian wife. Other CINOs sell stuffs or for social clubbing.
QUOTE(lurkingaround @ Nov 5 2019 @ 10:20 PM)
Another incorrect Christian teaching is the Roman Catholic Church forbidding her priests to marry = we have many sex-starved Catholic priests pedophiling Catholic boys by taking advantage of them and the RCC has covered up this sexual sin/immorality for years. So, sexual immorality problems can sometimes be blamed on the Church and its incorrect teaching. .......
1TIMOTHY.4:1-5 = The Great Apostasy
4 Now the Spirit expressly says that in latter times some will depart from the faith, giving heed to deceiving spirits and doctrines of demons, 2 speaking lies in hypocrisy, having their own conscience seared with a hot iron, 3 forbidding to marry, and commanding to abstain from foods which God created to be received with thanksgiving by those who believe and know the truth. 4 For every creature of God is good, and nothing is to be refused if it is received with thanksgiving; 5 for it is sanctified by the word of God and prayer.
QUOTE(prelude23 @ Nov 6 2019 @ 06:27 AM)
I really hope to repent and to be stronger in faith.
Hate what I am feeling now as a consequences of sin. Lost of appetite, cant sleep, anxious for nothing, feeling depressed and worthless.
I know the ironic saying of you never know God is the best way until he's the only way.
QUOTE(lurkingaround @ Nov 6 2019 @ 11:14AM)
What you are feeling is likely the normal symptoms of a broken heart after 4 years of a lovely and heart-felt romance. If so, it will take time for your broken heart to heal. In effect, you are a very sick person in need of nursing care and "hospital" recuperation = ill in the heart and mind. So, act accordingly, eg reduce your outside activities.
Of course, the fast "cure" for a broken heart is reconciliation with the romance partner. But sometimes, that's not possible.
QUOTE(prelude23 @ Nov 9 2019 @ 08:56 AM)
Why most of the times I feel distanced from God? We keep praying to be obedience and all but really, how do I know what God wants me to do?
By asking such a question shows that the OP, ie "prelude23", is a just born-again Spirit'ual-baby Gentile Christian who needs to feed on the Word of God for quite some time before he can gradually grow into a Spirit'ual-adult. This is also the reason he is in deep depression and sleeplessness over his failed romantic relationship.
He should have heeded the advice of the Word of God at 1COR.7:7-8 to remain single/unmarried as when he converted or came into newfound faith/belief in Jesus Christ.
.This post has been edited by lurkingaround: Jan 18 2020, 08:25 PM