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 When will he be ready?

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SUSLiamness
post Dec 10 2019, 10:35 AM

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QUOTE(Daddy2be @ Dec 10 2019, 10:31 AM)
Seems like you're fighting over multiple thread in cc RUI
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These two individuals hardly constitutes a fight.. I have a harder time putting disobedient children to bed.

This post has been edited by Liamness: Dec 10 2019, 10:43 AM
BLKH3
post Dec 10 2019, 01:04 PM

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QUOTE(Liamness @ Dec 10 2019, 10:27 AM)
So you are a liar then.. because you've just tagged me in the other post im referring to. You are very actively involved and up-to-date yourself.. feigning ignorance doesn't work like that, honey.

It's bloody obvious my comment here is out-dated by looking at the date.. any normal person can see that.. I posted that comment in relation to what TS shared in their opening thread.

And yes, based off TS original posts, on the 4th of Dec, I had reason to believe that she was a vindictive character. I'm a firm believer that problems in your life stems from your own-self first and foremost. My feeling was that if her BF refused proposing to her or continue to drag his feet, she will  eventually blame him for everything and even take revenge. And I'm not wrong with that thinking off the initial posts just by how defensive TS was. When you seek advise, you must always be open to criticism. TS never was.

Popularity contest is your line of thinking.. I'm pointing out that others too have been equally critical of TS thinking, character and very defensive nature. We can only make our judgement and advise based on what TS has shared..

So what is your point besides getting into a heated exchange of words with me? Do you want to go there. Bring your guns, i'm ready to go.
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At first, I don't want to put my two cents. But from what I read from your posts, you are
1) rude
2) egoistic (I remember there is a post where you flex your 'masculinity' (read: insecurity) by saying you are competitive or something to that effect)
3) a keyboard warrior
4) or worse, all of the above.

cc980024
post Dec 10 2019, 01:05 PM

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If financial is not an issue, is time to reflect the reason he procrastinate.
I somehow feel that he don't want to get married, but having in relationship with TS for sooo long, he just don't know what to do.
BLKH3
post Dec 10 2019, 01:08 PM

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QUOTE(Daddy2be @ Dec 10 2019, 10:31 AM)
Seems like you're fighting over multiple thread in cc RUI
*
this
TSblur-lady
post Dec 10 2019, 03:43 PM

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Thank you all for your input be it constructive or critics, I have read them all.

Before this thread, there were previous heated arguments that made this relationship somewhat volatile. We almost went into the verge of breaking up as we were both tired, couldn't see eye to eye and it was pretty much a heartbreak for both of us considering how much effort we have put in.

As most of you suggested, I have sat down to talk with my bf to talk about the possible future.

1. He still insists to get his house and car prior to marriage but we agreed to a timeline of another 1 more year to finding his dream house. If he still did not managed to find one, we might be moving into mine when its completed and he agree to bear the cost of reno/furniture/utility.

2. I did not touch on wedding however as I also think he might not be ready yet to commit and very much stressed up with his current responsibilities. I won't be talking about wedding openly until he settles what he need to unless he raises that topic.

We will go with the flow and will try not to be rash in our decision and to put each other's feeling as priority. Will definitely put in extra effort to make things work as with the long period of dating and work commitments, we definitely lack sparks in our relationship.




QUOTE(Liamness @ Dec 9 2019, 02:39 PM)
Stop pretending, we both know what I'm referring to..

And yes, I do have grounds to accuse TS of a crime not committed yet.. people get thrown in jail for carrying out terrorist plots all of the time.. doesn't mean they carried out the crime yet right..

it's all in her behaviour.. The most telling sign is that she is being passive aggressive about the whole situation, yet, she has no problem throwing her BF under the bus & blaming him entirely for his hesitation to marry her, buy a house, car, whatever it is he is so hesitant to commit to..

Anyways, I have seen that TS has since come out with a nicer story that reflects nicer on her character, so even I have changed my stance on her somewhat.

Not sure why you are resurrecting an early post with new developments making my early post irrelevant.. Are you intentionally concern trolling here? Please explain yourself.. why would you dig up a comment that's almost a week old and 4 pages ago?

As you can even see below, alot of posters here agreed with me on our initial assessment of where TS issues had stemmed from.. So again I ask you, what is your motive here, trying to correct my post when it was posted days ago and with changes to our understanding of TS situation... please explain yourself..
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QUOTE(Liamness @ Dec 10 2019, 10:27 AM)
So you are a liar then.. because you've just tagged me in the other post im referring to. You are very actively involved and up-to-date yourself.. feigning ignorance doesn't work like that, honey.

It's bloody obvious my comment here is out-dated by looking at the date.. any normal person can see that.. I posted that comment in relation to what TS shared in their opening thread.

And yes, based off TS original posts, on the 4th of Dec, I had reason to believe that she was a vindictive character. I'm a firm believer that problems in your life stems from your own-self first and foremost. My feeling was that if her BF refused proposing to her or continue to drag his feet, she will  eventually blame him for everything and even take revenge. And I'm not wrong with that thinking off the initial posts just by how defensive TS was. When you seek advise, you must always be open to criticism. TS never was.

Popularity contest is your line of thinking.. I'm pointing out that others too have been equally critical of TS thinking, character and very defensive nature. We can only make our judgement and advise based on what TS has shared..

So what is your point besides getting into a heated exchange of words with me? Do you want to go there. Bring your guns, i'm ready to go.
*
Wow, you're still here? And goodness, you're accusing me for being a vindictive woman without solid facts yet calling me defensive and not open to criticism? Really?
You come out with a whole paragraph to justify why your accusation is correct just based on whatever telling signs there is but yet say you changed your stance on me?

Clearly you have double standards as to what you say, whichever that adds points to your side at the point of time and just to make yourself feel better.

To point out that other have been equally critical about me for what? To make your judgement right just by the number of "supporters" you have?
If you want to do so, you can also clearly tell how many people have also been equally critical about you and your butthurt posts.
If you want to accuse me being vindictive, I can also accuse you for being a baseless prick who just want to fight everyone who don't have the same view as you.

If it wasn't obvious enough, you're the real vindictive guy here


SUSLiamness
post Dec 10 2019, 03:58 PM

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QUOTE(blur-lady @ Dec 10 2019, 03:43 PM)

If it wasn't obvious enough, you're the real vindictive guy here 
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What drugs are you taking?

Clearly, I have already mentioned that your original posts was what I was deducing your vindictive character on.. What part of that isn't clear enough for you yet?

I have already changed my stance, as you would notice i'm using PAST TENSE.. This is the problem with people not getting a proper English education..

I'm glad you have worked out your issues with your SO.

ViktorJ
post Dec 11 2019, 11:08 AM

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QUOTE(Liamness @ Dec 10 2019, 10:27 AM)
So you are a liar then.. because you've just tagged me in the other post im referring to. You are very actively involved and up-to-date yourself.. feigning ignorance doesn't work like that, honey.

It's bloody obvious my comment here is out-dated by looking at the date.. any normal person can see that.. I posted that comment in relation to what TS shared in their opening thread.

And yes, based off TS original posts, on the 4th of Dec, I had reason to believe that she was a vindictive character. I'm a firm believer that problems in your life stems from your own-self first and foremost. My feeling was that if her BF refused proposing to her or continue to drag his feet, she will  eventually blame him for everything and even take revenge. And I'm not wrong with that thinking off the initial posts just by how defensive TS was. When you seek advise, you must always be open to criticism. TS never was.

Popularity contest is your line of thinking.. I'm pointing out that others too have been equally critical of TS thinking, character and very defensive nature. We can only make our judgement and advise based on what TS has shared..

So what is your point besides getting into a heated exchange of words with me? Do you want to go there. Bring your guns, i'm ready to go.
*
I replied in that other thread. But that is the other thread. What does it have to do with TS?

Nope, I did not check the date. My bad. Oh well. So..... she is still a vindictive person anyway, despite your post being out-dated? I do not understand. Either what you say is right, or wrong, lol.

Why would she need to take revenge? Hello, she just wants to get married.

Sure, some people agreed with you, and some people are sympathetic with TS. But if you feel the need to bring it up, you require others to validate your points, ergo you demonstrate a distinct lack of self confidence. If your points stand on their own accord, why should you care if other people agree with you or not? Stand on your own two feet, yes?

Oh, my point? I do not agree with you that TS is in any shape, way or form vindictive. Fire away!
SUSLiamness
post Dec 11 2019, 11:36 AM

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QUOTE(ViktorJ @ Dec 11 2019, 11:08 AM)

Why would she need to take revenge? Hello, she just wants to get married.

Oh, my point? I do not agree with you that TS is in any shape, way or form vindictive. Fire away!
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I already listed my reasonings for why she may be a vindictive individual. Right or wrong assessment, it doesn't matter. What we know is what TS tells us.

And since she has explained in further detail with regards to her situation, I no longer think she is vindictive. Neither do I feel the need to explain myself to you why I initially thought so. If you want to know why, you can go and search my posts here. My reasons are clearly listed.

Besides, my reasons and advise is for the individual alone, nobody else. They have the right not to follow or listen to it.

That's how the world works.



Invince_Z
post Dec 11 2019, 12:48 PM

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QUOTE(blur-lady @ Dec 4 2019, 03:22 PM)
According to him, his savings is enough and he is ready to buy and commit just he don't know what to buy and cannot decide....
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help him. sitdown and list his priorities. what he expect....house type? price range? near workplace? preferred living area? etc?

then slowly both of you can choose the house that match his preferences (or some) and move on to next stage.
kokwei1125
post Dec 11 2019, 03:27 PM

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i were at your shoes previously.. but i did push my bf quite a lot until the extent he cannot take it LOL

i have the same worries as you that i wanted to have a family before 30... so i kept telling him this is my target

and i even made appointment to go to look for properties together..so eventually we did buy a condo together and propoe to me few months later

i think communication is pretty important, tell him that you want to do it before certain age
The_Rock
post Dec 20 2019, 07:46 PM

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QUOTE(blur-lady @ Dec 4 2019, 01:07 AM)
Hi there. So I have been dating my bf for almost 9 years now. He’s in his late 20s and I’m in my mid 20s.

With the period we have been dating, I’m definitely looking forward to get married and eventually start a family later. But however, my bf don’t seem ready as he still yet to get a house and a car. No there isn’t any financial issues with him, in fact he’s been looking for a house since 3 years ago but still nothing is progressing.

He don’t seem to want to settle down soon as he always mention bout his colleagues getting married in their mid 30s and there’s nothing wrong with that. I on the other hand is worried as with the age catching up, it seems like there’s no benefit for me.

Guys, when only you will deem you are ready for marriage?

-Extra info-
House + car is his priority and decision to have before marriage. He is against renting house outside.

FYI I never force him to get a house or a car just to satisfy my needs because I already own those.
I have bought a condo this year (new project, under construction) and I own a car.

I did suggested to him to move into my condo when it’s completed but he suggests that he still want to buy his own house and that we stay in his.
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You need to take next step. Shotgun marriage.
RUI
post Dec 24 2019, 12:48 AM

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QUOTE(BLKH3 @ Dec 10 2019, 01:04 PM)
At first, I don't want to put  my two cents. But from what I read from your posts, you are
1) rude
2) egoistic (I remember there is a post where you flex your 'masculinity' (read: insecurity) by saying you are competitive or something to that effect)
3) a keyboard warrior
4) or worse, all of the above.
*
No. All wrong.

There is only
1) He is a retard.


I was loosely agreeing with him in the other thread but He makes interpretation like “hypergamous aka cheating”.
You guys should start wondering what else this gorilla interpreted wrongly. Why u guys bother to go in circle with him?

P.S. I don’t speak ape language. I don’t bother reply him no more. Don’t waste ur time. All he wanna do is thump his chest. Let him be.

Inb4, that gorilla is gonna quote me bcos he can’t understand that I don’t speak ape language. Wanna bet? biggrin.gif

This post has been edited by RUI: Dec 24 2019, 12:50 AM
Raddus
post Dec 26 2019, 07:08 PM

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This post has been edited by Raddus: Dec 26 2019, 07:09 PM

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