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> Silent treatment scenarios, Is it normal?

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TSmoonstone13
post Nov 30 2019, 01:48 PM, updated 3w ago

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Folks, an interesting mamak topic around: “silent treatment” when an argument arises- sometimes for days..

One side would consider it as an opportunity to calm down and analyze the issue. Another would claim it’s “missing in action”.

Question 1: is it normal? Yes, No.

Question 2: who does it more? Men or women.

Any sassy personal stories would be interesting too whistling.gif
ViktorJ
post Nov 30 2019, 02:24 PM

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"Calm down and analyse the issue" is called "Time Out".

"Silent Treatment" is a "shitty toxic manipulative and controlling behaviour". There is nothing good about it.

Even if it is 'normal', it should not be normalised.

It does not matter which gender does it.

It is a pretty straight forward topic hardly worth debating. Just Google those 2 words.
-Dread-
post Nov 30 2019, 03:47 PM

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Women does silent treatment more naturally than men because they subconsciously know verbal discussion may result in potential fights thats why they appear to be more passive, physical conflicts are not female's narrative

Silent treatment is only done when a person is purposely chose not to communicate esp seeing each other face to face. It will only increase drama even though he chose not to speak.

Walking away during heat moment is better strategy. Most women understand the context of an 'unreignited'/aloof comeback's communication. Indifference is punishment to female's negative attention. It shows you knew better than she does, dramas are not welcomed in your life.

This post has been edited by -Dread-: Nov 30 2019, 03:51 PM
kurangak
post Nov 30 2019, 03:53 PM

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QUOTE(moonstone13 @ Nov 30 2019, 01:48 PM)
Folks, an interesting mamak topic around: “silent treatment” when an argument arises- sometimes for days..

One side would consider it as an opportunity to calm down and analyze the issue. Another would claim it’s “missing in action”.

Question 1: is it normal? Yes, No.

Question 2: who does it more? Men or women.

Any sassy personal stories would be interesting too  whistling.gif
*
is it normal? yes

who does it more? female. but surprisingly alot of male does this too



my wife is the 'throw tantrum when angry' type of person, and im the 'totally quiet when angry' type of person.

so when we're both arguing, the argument tends to be settled by itself laugh.gif

This post has been edited by kurangak: Nov 30 2019, 03:55 PM
kurangak
post Nov 30 2019, 03:54 PM

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QUOTE(-Dread- @ Nov 30 2019, 03:47 PM)
Women does silent treatment more naturally than men because they subconsciously know verbal discussion may result in potential fights thats why they appear to be more passive, physical conflicts are not female's narrative

Silent treatment is only done when a person is purposely chose not to communicate esp seeing each other face to face. It will only increase drama even though he chose not to speak.

Walking away during heat moment is better strategy. Most women understand the context of an 'unreignited'/aloof comeback's communication. Indifference is punishment to female's negative attention. It shows you knew better than she does, dramas are not welcomed in your life.
*
silent treatment to me is more about sulking. nothing toxic about sulking imho. but that just me.
-Dread-
post Nov 30 2019, 03:59 PM

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QUOTE(kurangak @ Nov 30 2019, 03:53 PM)
my wife is the 'throw tantrum when angry' type of person, and im the 'totally quiet when angry' type of person.

so when we're both arguing, the argument tends to be settled by itself laugh.gif
*
Did you choose to walk away when she angry
does the angry matter directed specially about you
you're doing the silent treatment in front of her face.
And the more you do, the more she will indulge in this bad behavior.

Thats totally not acceptable.
BillCollector
post Nov 30 2019, 04:21 PM

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Silent treatment solves nothing.

For there to be a good relationship you need to talk things out.

I've learned that when she is angry it is best for me to keep quiet and let her say her piece and release her emotions, during that stage 1 word answers are best.

Once she had finished then sitting down and calmly speaking about it is my preferred way.

My wife has a rule for us, any silent treatment must end by her bedtime.
pot-8-O's
post Nov 30 2019, 06:19 PM

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QUOTE(moonstone13 @ Nov 30 2019, 01:48 PM)
Folks, an interesting mamak topic around: “silent treatment” when an argument arises- sometimes for days..

One side would consider it as an opportunity to calm down and analyze the issue. Another would claim it’s “missing in action”.

Question 1: is it normal? Yes, No.

Question 2: who does it more? Men or women.

Any sassy personal stories would be interesting too  whistling.gif
*
Answer 1: it is a norm, yes

answer 2: Men and women do it equally, won't say one does it more than the other.

If you're familiar with the book "Men are from Mars, women are from Venus", you'll notice that women(not all) tend to prefer to talk more and solving problems via communication whereby Men on the other hand prefer action over words and will completely shut off when challenged. Now that does not mean men prefer the silent treatment more but opt for it to avoid further damage and reassess the situation from their partner's point of view.

It's been awhile since I picked up that book, but it was heavily focus on the concept of communicating with your other half and provide useful insights towards problem solving as a couple. Would definitely recommend anyone who wish to further improve their relationships and or just interested in the subject of relationships.
ymc2303
post Dec 1 2019, 03:35 PM

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once you cut communication, all the ugly stuff will follow suit.
Daddy2be
post Dec 1 2019, 08:38 PM

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1) yes if less than a day. No if longer
2) woman

I've dump every girl I came across who uses silent treatment often. These girls die die also expect you to know exactly what went wrong even if you sit them down to discuss. I don't have time for this circus act
Le8055
post Dec 1 2019, 11:26 PM

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QUOTE(moonstone13 @ Nov 30 2019, 01:48 PM)
Folks, an interesting mamak topic around: “silent treatment” when an argument arises- sometimes for days..

One side would consider it as an opportunity to calm down and analyze the issue. Another would claim it’s “missing in action”.

Question 1: is it normal? Yes, No.

Question 2: who does it more? Men or women.

Any sassy personal stories would be interesting too  whistling.gif
*
Passive aggressiveness at its finest.

1) I do not believe it is normal but where it is used it is a sign of immaturity.

2) I do not believe one party uses it more than the other but usually, it is more visible when the woman does it.
kbhai
post Dec 2 2019, 01:48 PM

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1) Yes, its normal.
2) Female tends to use this more..
kl920930
post Dec 2 2019, 02:36 PM

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normal and female uses this sulking method more often than male which is quite an unhealthy way to maintain a long term relationship
HafeesFadil
post Dec 3 2019, 09:07 AM

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Question 1: Yes, it's normal.

Question 2: Women. Last time I argue with my wife and I attend to see how long she gonna keep quiet. She willing didn't talk wif me for around 1 week. At last I can't tahan when at night I go hug her then only she ok back.
Quazacolt
post Dec 6 2019, 12:26 AM

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QUOTE(ViktorJ @ Nov 30 2019, 02:24 PM)
"Calm down and analyse the issue" is called "Time Out".

"Silent Treatment" is a "shitty toxic manipulative and controlling behaviour". There is nothing good about it.

Even if it is 'normal', it should not be normalised.

It does not matter which gender does it.

It is a pretty straight forward topic hardly worth debating. Just Google those 2 words.
*
This sums it up thumbup.gif

And I confront my wife as she does this a lot early in our relationship
Things have been easier (in regards to this topic) since smile.gif
tonYe
post Dec 9 2019, 10:57 AM

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It should not be normalised. Leave your ego aside and keep trying to reach out even though some times it can be her/his fault.

I think silent treatments were one of the many reasons that contributed to the end of my 8-year relationship recently... And now I have to live the consequences.

This post has been edited by tonYe: Dec 9 2019, 10:58 AM

 

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