Jan 27 2009, 07:35 PM
QUOTE
WHEAT RIDGE, CO – Commuters on I-70 gawked at the massive bonfire that lit the night sky over the highway yesterday evening. The fire, built by the Wheat Ridge High School AV Club, burned into the witching hour before WRFD extinguished it around 5AM this morning. At the bottom of the fire pit, a surprise: local firemen found two-dozen smoldering Xbox 360s, repurposed as kindling, which had fused into a glob of smoky white plastic.
George Robert, the eighteen-year-old President of the Wheat Ridge High AV Club, took responsibility for the ceremonious burning, calling it a “statement piece.” With field reporters and onlookers forming a half-circle around the flames, Mr. Robert set the stage for a call to arms not just for gamers, but, in his words, “self-respecting citizens” across the greater Jefferson County area.
“The time is now, destroy 360s we will,” preached Mr. Robert to his fellow club members and any receptive passerby.
When asked what inspired the pyre, Robert responded with stern brevity, “Killzone 2.”
Many game analysts have labeled Killzone 2, a first-person shooter for the Sony PS3, one of the consoles final bastions of hope. As such, some die hard fans of the Sony brand have invested their dreams, aspirations and will to live into the title’s release this February.
“Trepidation, we have it not. The best shooter ever, Killzone 2 will be,” said Mr. Robert, enigmatically continuing, “Nay. Best. Period. Game. Period. Ever. Exclamation point.”
Another club member, David Smithyman, gladly shared his two cents on what makes Killzone 2 different from other video games. “Yeah, I, like, played a burned debug copy. I can’t tell you where I got it, but, like, man, in the first level I found a valve, and, like, I turned it with the controller’s Sixaxis,” said Smithyman. “It was, like, totally like turning a valve in real life if, like, the valve was, like, shaped like my controller,” Mr. Smithyman went on, his words degenerating into muddled tongues.
While the bonfire may seem like a flash in the pan for the Wheat Ridge High AV Club, they aren’t ready to relinquish their fifteen minutes of fame just yet. Plans to storm the local Best Buy, a popular nationwide consumer electronics store, and take hammers to any remaining 360s and Microsoft demo kiosks were announced by the club in an open letter released to news outlets today.
“It’s our duty to the public. We must ensure the consumer experiences, first hand, Killzone 2’s innovative gameplay. All other options, all other distractions, must be terminated. Only one thing is important. Two words. One letter. ‘Lean N Peak,’” said the letter.
When contacted, the local Best Buy gave no comment, but the Wheat Ridge Police, ever precautious, have assigned an additional squad car to the shopping center parking lot. The car’s two officers will be on hand to provide additional safety and answer questions; they will be located outside Linens-N-Things.
The Xbox 360 is a video game console by Microsoft that many financial analysts expected to sore this fiscal year despite the economic recession. The console is a direct competitor with both Sony’s PlayStation 3 and Nintendo’s Wii console. The 360’s hard plastic shell, designed to withstand overheating, reportedly made poor bonfire tinder, but the Wheat Ridge AV Club’s persistence (along with 4 gallons of gasoline) helped them coax a steady flame.
source: DIE xbox DIEGeorge Robert, the eighteen-year-old President of the Wheat Ridge High AV Club, took responsibility for the ceremonious burning, calling it a “statement piece.” With field reporters and onlookers forming a half-circle around the flames, Mr. Robert set the stage for a call to arms not just for gamers, but, in his words, “self-respecting citizens” across the greater Jefferson County area.
“The time is now, destroy 360s we will,” preached Mr. Robert to his fellow club members and any receptive passerby.
When asked what inspired the pyre, Robert responded with stern brevity, “Killzone 2.”
Many game analysts have labeled Killzone 2, a first-person shooter for the Sony PS3, one of the consoles final bastions of hope. As such, some die hard fans of the Sony brand have invested their dreams, aspirations and will to live into the title’s release this February.
“Trepidation, we have it not. The best shooter ever, Killzone 2 will be,” said Mr. Robert, enigmatically continuing, “Nay. Best. Period. Game. Period. Ever. Exclamation point.”
Another club member, David Smithyman, gladly shared his two cents on what makes Killzone 2 different from other video games. “Yeah, I, like, played a burned debug copy. I can’t tell you where I got it, but, like, man, in the first level I found a valve, and, like, I turned it with the controller’s Sixaxis,” said Smithyman. “It was, like, totally like turning a valve in real life if, like, the valve was, like, shaped like my controller,” Mr. Smithyman went on, his words degenerating into muddled tongues.
While the bonfire may seem like a flash in the pan for the Wheat Ridge High AV Club, they aren’t ready to relinquish their fifteen minutes of fame just yet. Plans to storm the local Best Buy, a popular nationwide consumer electronics store, and take hammers to any remaining 360s and Microsoft demo kiosks were announced by the club in an open letter released to news outlets today.
“It’s our duty to the public. We must ensure the consumer experiences, first hand, Killzone 2’s innovative gameplay. All other options, all other distractions, must be terminated. Only one thing is important. Two words. One letter. ‘Lean N Peak,’” said the letter.
When contacted, the local Best Buy gave no comment, but the Wheat Ridge Police, ever precautious, have assigned an additional squad car to the shopping center parking lot. The car’s two officers will be on hand to provide additional safety and answer questions; they will be located outside Linens-N-Things.
The Xbox 360 is a video game console by Microsoft that many financial analysts expected to sore this fiscal year despite the economic recession. The console is a direct competitor with both Sony’s PlayStation 3 and Nintendo’s Wii console. The 360’s hard plastic shell, designed to withstand overheating, reportedly made poor bonfire tinder, but the Wheat Ridge AV Club’s persistence (along with 4 gallons of gasoline) helped them coax a steady flame.
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