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 Stock market gambling addiction, Need advice..

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TSthrowawayway P
post Nov 14 2019, 12:23 AM, updated 5y ago

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I don't know where to ask this and found this forum to be relatable since it is Malaysian. Throwaway for obvious reasons.

My dad was from a wealthy family. Few years ago, his parents passed away and the sale of his parents' house together with fixed deposits gave him around RM4 mil cash to invest.

He already spent RM1m. With remaining RM3m, he put RM1.5m into monthly fixed deposits.
He used the RM1.5m to invest into stockss. However, the stocks he picked are extremely risky.
I did not know about what he did until I peeked at his files.

He was holding RM800k in a single stock (do not wish to mention here), RM50k in another, RM120k in some stupid cheap worthless stocks (I believe he already lost RM350k buying these).

My mother does not know anything about finance. She just listens to his 'stock' advice and buys without even understanding a single thing.
In the past, his father (my grandfather) has lost a lot of money during the financial crisis too.
Unfortunately, he did not learn from his father and did not diversify.

I'm afraid he will lose more because:

I had constantly told him to diversify. He argued that no need diversify.

He accused me that I lost a bit of money in stocks (around 10%) when he personally lost up to 70%. He also decided to conceal this from our family.

He has made money in 2002 whereby several stocks he picked went up a lot (due to recession). However, his gains were unable to cover his loss today.

I wanted to confront him about it but he will likely get defensive and argue that it's his money so his choice. I know people will say it's not my concern because it's his money but at least he should leave something for the next generation.

He lied to his family that he did not buy any stocks last year when he was sitting at a 70% loss.

What I''m concern is that the RM800k he put into a single stock is extremely risky. He does not cut loss if it falls further and plans to average down. Right now, his investment in this RM800k stock is a positive 2% but I fear that it will be a loss if he holds further.

He boasts about how good and experience he is in the share market. He does not have any qualification or knowledge about financial statements. Sometimes I feel he buys because of feeling.

Maybe the RM300k+ loss is small to him. I would say his net assets is around RM9 million to RM10 million consisting of property, shares, fixed deposits.
He does not have a full time job and collects rental from properties.

I do believe that he does not ever cut loss because of ego and because it is admitting he made a mistake. I just got to know that he was still holding 100,000 units of a delisted stock in 2010.

Note: I peeked at his personal documents. If I were to confront him, he will know I did not respect his privacy.

Does anyone have similar experiences and know how to handle people like these? What do you think I should do? cry.gif
SUS2feidei
post Nov 14 2019, 12:51 AM

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You dad money, he inherited from his parents aka your grandparents....why u so concern?

U scared he loss all, no more money inherited to you?
pisces88
post Nov 14 2019, 12:58 AM

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as long he no playing with margin, or mortgage off his properties on the stocks, i think he is still fine.. since yourself not expert, of cos he dont listen to u
Emimarson
post Nov 14 2019, 01:13 AM

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In the end scare less money to be inherited


For me, even I am the oldest brother, I don't give a fuck to my parent's assets. If u bother, give u 80% also will not satisfied.

I just hope that the day I have to inherit will never come, but even if happens, I will not spend or sell the assets as these are the things my parents gave me.

Since u said u father got fixed deposit and properties, that 800k is just like 10%. Other than tell him this that which will make him not happy, you should recommend him a few better stocks, then only ask him to convert from existing holding to your recommendations when he is willing to share experience with u.
MUM
post Nov 14 2019, 01:21 AM

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Gambling Addiction
Problem gambling is usually being referred to as “gambling addiction” or “compulsive gambling”) is an urge to gamble continuously despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop.
Problem gambling is often defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others, rather than by the gambler’s behaviour.
............

maybe they can help....since you are a son and he is your father.....seniority/higher ranking/having more $$ than you biggrin.gif
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MakNok
post Nov 14 2019, 07:33 AM

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TS...not your money...
Don't ever think of inheritance lo.

It is still your dad money to rock and roll OR you rather to have him partying with kimchi...tomyum.. popiah...or Hotpot?


moosset
post Nov 14 2019, 08:00 AM

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when he got the 4mil, you could have asked for 1mil yourself.

Now I doubt you'd get it even if you asked. sad.gif

I agree with the other guy, ie. suggest him good stocks. That's the only way! But when your stocks lose money, he'll blame you lo!!
Emily Ratajkowski
post Nov 14 2019, 09:35 AM

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TS sked no inheritance money lettew.

Honestly, that money is your dad's money. How he spend it is up to him. What you should do is make your own money. If you scared no money left. Ask him for some now and then go find your own fortune. I really cannot understand kids who are expecting inheritance money to get ahead in life. Inheritance is a privilege, not a right.

He has a 9mil networth. 900k loss is just 10%. That's still tolerable in the finance world.
icemanfx
post Nov 14 2019, 09:49 AM

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Those made in stocks, gold, btc, forex, poorperly, etc thought they are gold fingers until they loss. While their mood and sentiment is high, any contrary opinion is noise, negative energy, etc; No matter how much facts, reality or data you present to them is unconvincing.

There is little cure when come to ego, just hope his stocks are blue chips not speculative. In the event of underwater, there is a tendency for him to average down. Suggest you to safe guard the fd by putting it out of his reach.

This post has been edited by icemanfx: Nov 14 2019, 09:51 AM
aspartame
post Nov 14 2019, 10:48 AM

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QUOTE(throwawayway @ Nov 14 2019, 12:23 AM)
I don't know where to ask this and found this forum to be relatable since it is Malaysian. Throwaway for obvious reasons.

My dad was from a wealthy family. Few years ago, his parents passed away and the sale of his parents' house together with fixed deposits gave him around RM4 mil cash to invest.

He already spent RM1m. With remaining RM3m, he put RM1.5m into monthly fixed deposits.
He used the RM1.5m to invest into stockss. However, the stocks he picked are extremely risky.
I did not know about what he did until I peeked at his files.

He was holding RM800k in a single stock (do not wish to mention here), RM50k in another, RM120k in some stupid cheap worthless stocks (I believe he already lost RM350k buying these).

My mother does not know anything about finance. She just listens to his 'stock' advice and buys without even understanding a single thing.
In the past, his father (my grandfather) has lost a lot of money during the financial crisis too.
Unfortunately, he did not learn from his father and did not diversify.

I'm afraid he will lose more because:

I had constantly told him to diversify. He argued that no need diversify.

He accused me that I lost a bit of money in stocks (around 10%) when he personally lost up to 70%. He also decided to conceal this from our family.

He has made money in 2002 whereby several stocks he picked went up a lot (due to recession). However, his gains were unable to cover his loss today.

I wanted to confront him about it but he will likely get defensive and argue that it's his money so his choice. I know people will say it's not my concern because it's his money but at least he should leave something for the next generation.

He lied to his family that he did not buy any stocks last year when he was sitting at a 70% loss.

What I''m concern is that the RM800k he put into a single stock is extremely risky. He does not cut loss if it falls further and plans to average down. Right now, his investment in this RM800k stock is a positive 2% but I fear that it will be a loss if he holds further.

He boasts about how good and experience he is in the share market. He does not have any qualification or knowledge about financial statements. Sometimes I feel he buys because of feeling.

Maybe the RM300k+ loss is small to him. I would say his net assets is around RM9 million to RM10 million consisting of property, shares, fixed deposits.
He does not have a full time job and collects rental from properties.

I do believe that he does not ever cut loss because of ego and because it is admitting he made a mistake. I just got to know that he was still holding 100,000 units of a delisted stock in 2010.

Note: I peeked at his personal documents. If I were to confront him, he will know I did not respect his privacy.

Does anyone have similar experiences and know how to handle people like these? What do you think I should do?  cry.gif
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And that is why for 90% of people, property investing for the long term, collecting rental is the safest way to build wealth ...
As for yr dad’s stocks, just let him be.. after all he already survived so long with net assets 9mil...he is not a real casino addict gambling type.. so, not serious at all

This post has been edited by aspartame: Nov 14 2019, 10:50 AM
xcxa23
post Nov 14 2019, 01:25 PM

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Before you advice your dad
Be friend with your dad

Most elderly, are pretty egoistic as in they know more and experience more than youngsters hence refusing to listen

Educated yourself with stock market 1st.
Get around the bush, indirectly tell him
Be genuine or at least be interested why he choose the stock.
Show him your result, be it profit or loss.
Share your thoughts together.
How to pick stock, how you plan to invest
Ask for his 'guidance', guide him if his method is off


Cubalagi
post Nov 14 2019, 02:07 PM

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TS, maybe u are overreacting? I don't see any proof of addiction here on your father.

Ur father got a windfall of RM4 million. As u say his net assets is RM9-10 million. He spent RM1 million out of the windfall.

Out of that RM4 million, the balance of RM3m, he then put 50% in FD n another 50% in stocks. Sounds reasonable. I don't see a problem with this. If he dumped 90-100% then maybe u could argue that it's too high risk, but a 50-50 portfolio is not unreasonable for an elderly person with higher risk tolerance n experience in investing.

Out of the stock investment, the biggest holding is 800k in a single stock. That's 26.6% of the original 3m. Perhaps this can be argued to be a rather risky move. But I can't say its stupidly so. Have to see the stock. The fact that u said the stock is up 2% now, under very weak market conditions is positive. Maybe it does indicate that ur father perhaps know a bit of what he is doing?

From ur story he has been investing for nearly 20 years. Maybe he learned a thing or two?

My advice to you is to let him be. I think he knows what he is doing, more than you perhaps.

This post has been edited by Cubalagi: Nov 14 2019, 02:08 PM
e-lite
post Nov 14 2019, 02:34 PM

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Your father needs to "lose" money in the stock market so that others here can "profit" money in the stock market. You can akin to zero-sum game.
cmk96
post Nov 14 2019, 04:03 PM

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only way you could stop him is showing him a better investment returns.
Juan86
post Nov 14 2019, 04:41 PM

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you looks too young to judge your dad from what you write
Jordy
post Nov 14 2019, 05:36 PM

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QUOTE(throwawayway @ Nov 14 2019, 12:23 AM)
I don't know where to ask this and found this forum to be relatable since it is Malaysian. Throwaway for obvious reasons.

My dad was from a wealthy family. Few years ago, his parents passed away and the sale of his parents' house together with fixed deposits gave him around RM4 mil cash to invest.

He already spent RM1m. With remaining RM3m, he put RM1.5m into monthly fixed deposits.
He used the RM1.5m to invest into stockss. However, the stocks he picked are extremely risky.
I did not know about what he did until I peeked at his files.

He was holding RM800k in a single stock (do not wish to mention here), RM50k in another, RM120k in some stupid cheap worthless stocks (I believe he already lost RM350k buying these).

My mother does not know anything about finance. She just listens to his 'stock' advice and buys without even understanding a single thing.
In the past, his father (my grandfather) has lost a lot of money during the financial crisis too.
Unfortunately, he did not learn from his father and did not diversify.

I'm afraid he will lose more because:

I had constantly told him to diversify. He argued that no need diversify.

He accused me that I lost a bit of money in stocks (around 10%) when he personally lost up to 70%. He also decided to conceal this from our family.

He has made money in 2002 whereby several stocks he picked went up a lot (due to recession). However, his gains were unable to cover his loss today.

I wanted to confront him about it but he will likely get defensive and argue that it's his money so his choice. I know people will say it's not my concern because it's his money but at least he should leave something for the next generation.

He lied to his family that he did not buy any stocks last year when he was sitting at a 70% loss.

What I''m concern is that the RM800k he put into a single stock is extremely risky. He does not cut loss if it falls further and plans to average down. Right now, his investment in this RM800k stock is a positive 2% but I fear that it will be a loss if he holds further.

He boasts about how good and experience he is in the share market. He does not have any qualification or knowledge about financial statements. Sometimes I feel he buys because of feeling.

Maybe the RM300k+ loss is small to him. I would say his net assets is around RM9 million to RM10 million consisting of property, shares, fixed deposits.
He does not have a full time job and collects rental from properties.

I do believe that he does not ever cut loss because of ego and because it is admitting he made a mistake. I just got to know that he was still holding 100,000 units of a delisted stock in 2010.

Note: I peeked at his personal documents. If I were to confront him, he will know I did not respect his privacy.

Does anyone have similar experiences and know how to handle people like these? What do you think I should do?  cry.gif
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Let me get this straight. You are trying to advise an elderly who has already made his millions, while you have not? It does not make sense to me. Perhaps it would be better if you learn from your father how he made his millions instead of worrying about the minor loss he has made?
mini orchard
post Nov 14 2019, 05:42 PM

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QUOTE(Jordy @ Nov 14 2019, 05:36 PM)
Let me get this straight. You are trying to advise an elderly who has already made his millions, while you have not? It does not make sense to me. Perhaps it would be better if you learn from your father how he made his millions instead of worrying about the minor loss he has made?
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fun_feng
post Nov 14 2019, 10:29 PM

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What is your father background?
Previous jobs?
How he accumulates his millions? Also through inheritance or his earnings?
onionchong
post Nov 15 2019, 10:50 AM

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In the end what you actually cared is how much left to be inherited to you...
mini orchard
post Nov 15 2019, 10:57 AM

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QUOTE(onionchong @ Nov 15 2019, 10:50 AM)
In the end what you actually cared is how much left to be inherited to you...
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First human reaction ...

Better to leave with the family than others.

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