First of all, I'm using this new account because some acquaintances know who I am and Im worried that they find out about my illness because I feel ashamed.

A lot of bad things had happened and I am really struggling with my life. I have been living like a turtle hiding in a shell for awhile now. I just can't help myself even though I know I am wrong but at one point I just decided to give up on everything and I have been living like an absolute worthless garbage since then. I told my mom several times that I really need to see a doctor (psychiatrist) and she finally agrees that I'm abnormal in my mind and tries to get me appointed with one now. But after knowing I might finally get to see a professional, I begin self-denial that people will see me differently as in I have mental illness. And I don't think I can be 'fixed' immediately after seeing the doctor once and the sessions with doctor will cost my parents a fortune because there are only psychiatrists in private hospitals at my town. How much do they usually charge per appointment?

I think hypnosis should be able to help you.


Traditional psychiatrists, apart from psychotherapy,
counselling and maybe cognitive behavioural techniques,
will give you drugs like the SSRIs and antipsychotics,
which have heavy side effects.


Hiro Koo, who is on the forum here, is a qualified psychologist
trained in hypnosis.

http://www.newmindcentre.com/


I hear he charges around $200 per session, but you should
contact him for his current charges.

private one cost around RM300 per visit, gov cost RM5 per visit

I went to my first appointment, diagnosed with clinical depression. I'm going to stick through the meds and treatments. Let's hope things will turn out better.