Hey there.

It seems that you had been through a lot and there doesn't seem to be anybody listening. You had been consuming so much energy to keep yourself up everyday and I can feel that you are nearing to your breaking point.

If you are looking for lgbt friendly counsellor, I would suggest these:

+6010-873 0175 - The Red Clinic, specialise for LGBT, three counsellors on duty. Have to pay

011-21434572 - PT Foundation, they have a clinic that provide counselling for HIV and LGBT communities. It is free.

I pray for your health and may you always have the strength and resilience to face whatever difficulties that may come.

Hopefully, this helps.