QUOTE(Snoopylover @ Jul 16 2019, 05:53 PM)
Hi everyone,
I am married with kids
Just realize after kids enter our life.. marriage life is just about responsibilities..
Sometimes all attention are just kids and no time/energy for intimacy..
The great things are we feel the joy that kids bring to us..
I wonder after kids has grown up, me and wife will still have the lovey dovey moment like we used to back then or the feeling will fade off..
Appreciate you guys to share your experience and opinions are welcomed ..
In order for a marriage to work it does need some effort on both parties.
Arrange your time and learn to prioritize.
When I was married to the ex-wife I always thought yeah one day the children will grow up and there won't be any thing between us, well that marriage was over before the children were grown up. I guess part of it was my fault too but thinking back of when the times were good and yes there were indeed times when the relationship was excellent.
It was when our eldest was 3 years old, she was one of those very active kids, she could turn on her belly at 4 months and on the 5th month she could roll onto her back again. She could walk when she could stand up at 7 months old and by her 9th month she could walk or at least cruise the furniture, to put it mildly she had it in her to drain every bit of both of our energies without even trying. We didn't have a confinement lady, she had a cesarean birth and it was just us and our 2 pairs of hands.
I told her we should practice less is more. Cleanliness of the house? It didn't need to be 100% spotless every time. We kept clutter to a minimum and cooked enough to get by. She had 6 months off work 2 months paid and 4 months unpaid.
It worked, when she returned to work we sent the LO to a child minder that lived 4 doors away.
Practice a 30 minute a day ritual, that means when you come home 30 minutes you will rest and spend time with each other. 30 minutes do 1 or 2 household chores or errands, 30 minutes 1 of you prepare meal and the one that prepared the meal gets a break from doing the dishes. Try to share looking after the baby 3 nites per week, then 2 nites per week let the other one have a break.
1 nite per week try to go out on your own. 1 nite per week bring the baby out of the house so she could have some "me time"
Try to get to bed as early as possible. Each nite before she sleeps rub and massage her neck and shoulders. Doesn't need to be professional grade massage just a quick rub between 3-5 minutes and ask her where else is aching. If she says it is her feet that is aching then give her feet a quick rub. Make sure she doesn't feel you are doing it just to get into her pants which you shouldn't be doing.
She will be wanting it soon enough because she knows you care and appreciate her.
On both times she started asking for it before the baby had her and his "Full Moon" party.
Unfortunately after the 2nd one there were too many other battles going on that it just didn't work out and we divorced soon after.