Welcome Guest ( Log In | Register )

Outline · [ Standard ] · Linear+

 go for interests/connection or caring/niceness?

views
     
TSY_vonne
post Jun 18 2019, 06:53 PM, updated 5y ago

Getting Started
**
Junior Member
239 posts

Joined: Mar 2014


Ok, so would you go for

A) a guy who shares the same interests with you, and you feel like you connect with him and know him already. You have that “click” with him. You just feel comfortable and yourself around him even if you only know him. BUT, he doesnt really know how to care for you, and really you’re the one making all the decisions, and you don’t feel like you’re protected around him but you’re the one having to do the protecting instead

Or

B) a guy who cares for you and protects you and is really nice. He does things a guy does and is really sweet. But, you guys dont really share the same interests. But you guys talk and have fun but maybe it isnt that strong of a connection or instant click.

So yeah which is more important in a relationship and which would you go for
SGSuser
post Jun 18 2019, 10:59 PM

In your way
*******
Senior Member
2,423 posts

Joined: Jul 2010
From: 4.2105° N, 101.9758° E


go with ur heart
J1g54w
post Jun 18 2019, 11:21 PM

Regular
******
Senior Member
1,449 posts

Joined: Jul 2015
QUOTE(Y_vonne @ Jun 18 2019, 06:53 PM)
Ok, so would you go for

A) a guy who shares the same interests with you, and you feel like you connect with him and know him already. You have that “click” with him. You just feel comfortable and yourself around him even if you only know him. BUT, he doesnt really know how to care for you, and really you’re the one making all the decisions, and you don’t feel like you’re protected around him but you’re the one having to do the protecting instead

Or

B) a guy who cares for you and protects you and is really nice. He does things a guy does and is really sweet. But, you guys dont really share the same interests. But you guys talk and have fun but maybe it isnt that strong of a connection or instant click.

So yeah which is more important in a relationship and which would you go for
*
Imagine if suddenly both stopped seeing, messaging or calling you, who will you miss more?

You got the answer.
Zoo Howl
post Jun 19 2019, 12:41 AM

White Fang
******
Senior Member
1,775 posts

Joined: Apr 2019


From the way u write & describe, i would suggest A
Yggdrasil
post Jun 19 2019, 01:21 AM

Look at all my stars!!
*******
Senior Member
2,208 posts

Joined: Jan 2018
Depends on whether you prefer to love more or to be loved more.

Same interests can be boring at times.
TSY_vonne
post Jun 19 2019, 10:32 AM

Getting Started
**
Junior Member
239 posts

Joined: Mar 2014


QUOTE(J1g54w @ Jun 18 2019, 11:21 PM)
Imagine if suddenly both stopped seeing, messaging or calling you, who will you miss more?

You got the answer.
*
Damn.

QUOTE(Zoo Howl @ Jun 19 2019, 12:41 AM)
From the way u write & describe, i would suggest A
*
But if u know that if you go for A, you somehow will not be satisfied with what he do, and worry that he’s not doing enough all the time. So it will go to shit again.

Well i just feel like sometimes two people that wanna be together, people call it your “soulmate” but somehow the universe just says no, for some weird reason.
BuddhawithinMe
post Jun 19 2019, 10:52 AM

Getting Started
**
Junior Member
61 posts

Joined: Oct 2017
I would go for no2.

No. 1 is good for being close friend.

After all, girls always wanted someone who is decisive and protective to feel secured.

No matter how tough we look on the outside, there always a fragile side inside us.

Just my opinions.
cc980024
post Jun 19 2019, 11:04 AM

Casual
***
Junior Member
492 posts

Joined: Aug 2009
Option A - I never have such bf/ex-bf
Option B - have 1 before but I dumped him coz his unconditional love makes me feel boring. tongue.gif

But I marry Option C, have common mindset but no common hobbies and don't know how to care of me. But knowing myself well, a guy of option B who cares for me too much (experience with ex-bf) will only drive me away.
Zero Correlation
post Jun 20 2019, 06:58 PM

New Member
*
Junior Member
41 posts

Joined: Jan 2017
I've always say I wanted A. But I ended up with B for reasons I can't explain

All I can say is, there will be a void geh. Depends on how you fill that void lor. I fill it with like minded friends

Option A also will have void when you see your friends with caring partner. Every now and then my girl friends will comment on how my husband takes care of me
ViktorJ
post Jun 20 2019, 08:20 PM

Dancy Drinky Doggo
******
Senior Member
1,004 posts

Joined: Oct 2007
Although we tend to judge based on what is currently in front of us, we must remember that situations are highly dynamic. Over time:

A can become B
B can become A
A or B can become AB
A or B can also become useless humkaling one day

The importance of either interest or security is highly subjective, as it is based on your own current situation (if you have many social buddies of similar interest, A is not so important, likewise if you are highly independent, then B is mostly redundant).

Objectively, the balance of power shifts depending on your choice, as I am certain you know what I mean.
TSY_vonne
post Jun 21 2019, 07:23 AM

Getting Started
**
Junior Member
239 posts

Joined: Mar 2014


Wondering if it would be a shitty move to let go of A when A is basically the same person as you and share the same thoughts with you.. and as cringe as it may sound but “finish each others sentence”. but maybe..a little too same. As in A couldn't be that bigger person in a relationship, he needed to be the one being protected, and same goes to you, you couldnt be the protector, not in a relationship. Maybe u ll never find someone quite like him anymore, was it stupid to let him go.
SUSMalboroLight
post Jun 21 2019, 09:51 AM

New Member
*
Newbie
20 posts

Joined: Oct 2015
why not both?

joke aside, pick the one which is wealthier.
McFD2R
post Jun 21 2019, 04:45 PM

Regular
******
Senior Member
1,074 posts

Joined: Sep 2013


QUOTE(Y_vonne @ Jun 18 2019, 06:53 PM)
Ok, so would you go for

A) a guy who shares the same interests with you, and you feel like you connect with him and know him already. You have that “click” with him. You just feel comfortable and yourself around him even if you only know him. BUT, he doesnt really know how to care for you, and really you’re the one making all the decisions, and you don’t feel like you’re protected around him but you’re the one having to do the protecting instead

Or

B) a guy who cares for you and protects you and is really nice. He does things a guy does and is really sweet. But, you guys dont really share the same interests. But you guys talk and have fun but maybe it isnt that strong of a connection or instant click.

So yeah which is more important in a relationship and which would you go for
*
Neither. Why does it have to A or B? Look for C that may have both. To accept either when in doubt is a recipe for failure. Are you in a rush? Biological clock ticking? If you choose either, it's called .... SETTLING FOR
vhs1
post Jun 22 2019, 01:24 AM

Look at all my stars!!
*******
Senior Member
2,577 posts

Joined: Sep 2008
Good boys go to heaven, bad boys bring the heaven to you
ViktorJ
post Jun 22 2019, 01:56 AM

Dancy Drinky Doggo
******
Senior Member
1,004 posts

Joined: Oct 2007
QUOTE(vhs1 @ Jun 22 2019, 01:24 AM)
Good boys go to heaven, bad boys bring the heaven to you
*
Bad boys are selfish AF. Why should they bother to bring heaven to anyone but themselves?

By the way, did you post in the wrong thread?
veron4best
post Jun 25 2019, 10:57 AM

Regular
******
Senior Member
1,146 posts

Joined: Sep 2005
From: Kuala Lumpur


QUOTE(Y_vonne @ Jun 18 2019, 06:53 PM)
Ok, so would you go for

A) a guy who shares the same interests with you, and you feel like you connect with him and know him already. You have that “click” with him. You just feel comfortable and yourself around him even if you only know him. BUT, he doesnt really know how to care for you, and really you’re the one making all the decisions, and you don’t feel like you’re protected around him but you’re the one having to do the protecting instead

Or

B) a guy who cares for you and protects you and is really nice. He does things a guy does and is really sweet. But, you guys dont really share the same interests. But you guys talk and have fun but maybe it isnt that strong of a connection or instant click.

So yeah which is more important in a relationship and which would you go for
*
u describe A more than B.

so is A the answer.
TSY_vonne
post Jun 27 2019, 05:47 PM

Getting Started
**
Junior Member
239 posts

Joined: Mar 2014


Lets add a scenario

A left you. And while you lost A, you found B, but A comes back asking to try again.
ViktorJ
post Jun 27 2019, 06:07 PM

Dancy Drinky Doggo
******
Senior Member
1,004 posts

Joined: Oct 2007
QUOTE(Y_vonne @ Jun 27 2019, 05:47 PM)
Lets add a scenario

A left you. And while you lost A, you found B, but A comes back asking to try again.
*
What is the current situation with B?
fearless_kiki
post Jun 27 2019, 06:15 PM

Getting Started
**
Junior Member
278 posts

Joined: Feb 2013
QUOTE(Y_vonne @ Jun 27 2019, 05:47 PM)
Lets add a scenario

A left you. And while you lost A, you found B, but A comes back asking to try again.
*
Ask A go fly kite.

Seriously why do you want someone that treats you like trash? (once dumped you)
ViktorJ
post Jun 27 2019, 06:16 PM

Dancy Drinky Doggo
******
Senior Member
1,004 posts

Joined: Oct 2007
QUOTE(fearless_kiki @ Jun 27 2019, 06:15 PM)
Ask A go fly kite.

Seriously why do you want someone that treats you like trash? (once dumped you)
*
Ha yeah, I agree with this.

2 Pages  1 2 >Top
 

Change to:
| Lo-Fi Version
0.0152sec    0.57    5 queries    GZIP Disabled
Time is now: 29th March 2024 - 03:34 PM