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 Functional Depression, Loneliness

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TSwonderbar99
post Apr 25 2019, 05:17 PM, updated 5y ago

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I think I have functional depression, I do well in my work, exercise (jogging) at least 30 minutes a day 4 times a week but still feeling suicidal and sad most of the time.

I have barely have any social life and I tried so hard to have one ever since after high school, people seems to avoid me for some reason. I'm like something you want from a store but don't want to buy.

I tried to be a good person and be helpful to people but for some reason people don't want to be associated with me after the help. Like let's say I fixed someone bicycle, in social media they will mentioned a "friend" helped them and refused to mentioned my name. Once I accompany someone to bank since no parking I wait in car if need to move the car, someone in a WhatApps group asked who accompany you to the bank , he replied a "friend" and don't want to mention my name. Idk their actual reason buy maybe I am "different" ? I don't play DOTA, watch GOT, listen to K-pop, everyone from my race plays basketball while I play football, I don't watch porn, I dont like bubble tea...so I am like the one within my peers who have completely different interest with everyone else.

I used to drink and smoke to release stress but it hurt my wallet and health, so I tried other thing to cope, which is crying. Sometimes I cannot tahan and cried in public and people begin to avoid me and gossip behind me as "mental" or "crazy" while those who drink and smoke to release stress people "pity" and show "compassion" to them.

I also realized if you are "popular" or have social value especially in college, people will stick with them no matter they are right or wrong. For example, I played alot of football during uni time but not really good. So I always get at the end of "The Roulette" by the more popular guys, when they do it, people say they are pro and skillful. When I managed to do it once in a bluemoon againts the "popular" person, they say I am arrogance and want to humiliate the "popular" person.

Got one popular person disliked me because I roulette him twice....I assumed if you get rouletted by a nerd skinny guy twice is humiliating. Everytime if there is an outing with him around, my uni peers will not invite me fearing to "anger" the "popular" guy. This means I rarely able to hangout with them as he is 90% involved. And as stated, they also don't want to be seen as the "friend" of the guy who make the "popular" guy angry...so if they need help they need to do secretly and avoid posting in social media.

Thus, I am alone most of the time and begin to talk to myself, I found a new group to try to make friends. The topic was how to gain confident. One guy said he talked to the mirror to gain confidence, when I said I talk to myself to gain confidence....as usual people think I am a creep and a weirdo and avoid me. It was never in my mind that statement will cause people to feel negative towards me.

Now I am prone to panic attack and anxious when socializing because in my mind, one wrong word or I offend the leader of a group. I am done for.

Any advice ?
pakdamek
post Apr 25 2019, 05:24 PM

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how about trying martial arts? muay thai etc.? it really helped me boost my confidence....
Hades76
post Apr 25 2019, 05:26 PM

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Be your own person and dont care about what people think. Your happiness is more important that those ïmportsnt"people.

Friends come and go. Find your core friends and be with them.

Next find the other friends and just explore around. Are you in Uni or working ?

You need to go out and socialise. Be yourself but dont be an ass.

Use apps like Tinder or something to meet women. You can meet women and increase your confidence of meeting people. Slowly you will overcome this anxiety.

The goal here is not to be a player or to be popular, but just to have raise confidence by meeting people and talking, without fear or favour.
ahpooki
post Apr 25 2019, 05:28 PM

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you think too much... dont live for people's adulation and acceptance.. live for yourself...you need to love yourself before anyone else can even pay attention to you...
TSwonderbar99
post Apr 25 2019, 05:41 PM

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Joined: Jan 2019
QUOTE(Hades76 @ Apr 25 2019, 05:26 PM)
Be your own person and dont care about what people think. Your happiness is more important that those ïmportsnt"people.

Friends come and go. Find your core friends and be with them.

Next find the other friends and just explore around. Are you in Uni or working ?

You need to go out and socialise. Be yourself but dont be an ass.

Use apps like Tinder or something to meet women. You can meet women and increase your confidence of meeting people. Slowly you will overcome this anxiety.

The goal here is not to be a player or to be popular, but just to have raise confidence by meeting people and talking, without fear or favour.
*
I'm working now, yup now I need to raise my confidence, thanks for the advice...

I've been myself all these while and I'm not acting like an ass.....just I feel like I don't belong anywhere. Don't have any core friends...all my interaction with people is people asking me for help only then disappear. Staying positive...maybe I haven't found the correct people yet.
SL0704 P
post Apr 25 2019, 08:18 PM

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QUOTE(pakdamek @ Apr 25 2019, 05:24 PM)
how about trying martial arts? muay thai etc.? it really helped me boost my confidence....
*
Will this really help?

SL0704 P
post Apr 25 2019, 08:19 PM

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Joined: Apr 2019
QUOTE(wonderbar99 @ Apr 25 2019, 05:17 PM)
I think I have functional depression, I do well in my work, exercise (jogging) at least 30 minutes a day 4 times a week but still feeling suicidal and sad most of the time.

I have barely have any social life and I tried so hard to have one ever since after high school, people seems to avoid me for some reason. I'm like something you want from a store but don't want to buy.

I tried to be a good person and be helpful to people but for some reason people don't want to be associated with me after the help. Like let's say I fixed someone bicycle, in social media they will mentioned a "friend" helped them and refused to mentioned my name. Once I accompany someone to bank since no parking I wait in car if need to move the car, someone in a WhatApps group asked who accompany you to the bank , he replied a "friend" and don't want to mention my name. Idk their actual reason buy maybe I am "different" ? I don't play DOTA, watch GOT, listen to K-pop, everyone from my race plays basketball while I play football, I don't watch porn, I dont like bubble tea...so I am like the one within my peers who have completely different interest with everyone else.

I used to drink and smoke to release stress but it hurt my wallet and health, so I tried other thing to cope, which is crying. Sometimes I cannot tahan and cried in public and people begin to avoid me and gossip behind me as "mental" or "crazy" while those who drink and smoke to release stress people "pity" and show "compassion" to them.

I also realized if you are "popular" or have social value especially in college, people will stick with them no matter they are right or wrong. For example, I played alot of football during uni time but not really good. So I always get at the end of "The Roulette" by the more popular guys, when they do it, people say they are pro and skillful. When I managed to do it once in a bluemoon againts the "popular" person, they say I am arrogance and want to humiliate the "popular" person.

Got one popular person disliked me because I roulette him twice....I assumed if you get rouletted by a nerd skinny guy twice is humiliating. Everytime if there is an outing with him around, my uni peers will not invite me fearing to "anger" the "popular" guy. This means I rarely able to hangout with them as he is 90% involved. And as stated, they also don't want to be seen as the "friend" of the guy who make the "popular" guy angry...so if they need help they need to do secretly and avoid posting in social media.

Thus, I am alone most of the time and begin to talk to myself, I found a new group to try to make friends. The topic was how to gain confident. One guy said he talked to the mirror to gain confidence, when I said I talk to myself to gain confidence....as usual people think I am a creep and a weirdo and avoid me. It was never in my mind that statement will cause people to feel negative towards me.

Now I am prone to panic attack and anxious when socializing because in my mind, one wrong word or I offend the leader of a group. I am done for.

Any advice ?
*

Be confidence be you

Hades76
post Apr 26 2019, 09:34 AM

On my way
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Junior Member
650 posts

Joined: Jan 2012
QUOTE(wonderbar99 @ Apr 25 2019, 05:41 PM)
I'm working now, yup now I need to raise my confidence, thanks for the advice...

I've been myself all these while and I'm not acting like an ass.....just I feel like I don't belong anywhere. Don't have any core friends...all my interaction with people is people asking me for help only then disappear.  Staying positive...maybe I haven't found the correct people yet.
*
Seriously, pick up a hobby that is not alone kinda thing. Earlier someone said gym and muay thai, thats one. Maybe motorcycling ? Or cars ? Or Hiking ?

You need to put in the effort to be out there. At our level, no one is gonna come ask us out and so on. Realise this and change. You go out, you look for friends.

You be active. After a few years you will look back and see how much you have changed to overcome depression.


Zidanefish
post Jun 3 2019, 11:29 AM

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Actually the trick is not to think so much, not to put in too much effort, and just go with it.
Speak of things that are general, and just relax around people.
sk1l
post Jun 10 2019, 03:29 PM

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Joined: Dec 2006


get the app "meetup". there are plenty of activities happening there. maybe you can join some of them to socialize ?

 

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