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 Seeking advices- tie the knot

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cc980024
post Apr 22 2019, 06:00 PM

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Joined: Aug 2009
QUOTE(dontknowwhattodo @ Apr 22 2019, 11:28 AM)
To me, I'm worry it will be sorrow to ask her to pack her stuffs and leave the house if things don't end up well in the end.
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Exactly! You see, even to speak your heart out about what you feel about marrying her now is a big challenge. What more when she thought moving in to stay with you is getting closer to marriage.

And when a couple stay together, her parents won't allow this status of gf/bf to maintain for long, as "face value" count. Imagine stress level when her age catching up.

Your gf have all she need, she only need a husband now. I could be wrong. But I got a feeling .. she only need a husband as is time already. But did she really know what marriage bring to her life? Or will she even bother? or from young.. everything just work the way she want.. and she expect the same goes to this relationship.

No doubt, girls at late 20s or early 30s will want wedding so much. Reason being that friends around her are getting married. If she is not that well off, $ is an issue.. and you are not stable financially (let say).. do you think she will make noise to marry you? In this forum, we on and off see some ladies having concern that their bf are not motivated and they are worry for their future. For you gf, all is because she have strong financial background, and your financial status means nothing to her.. she only want a man who is presentable.


PhakFuhZai
post Apr 22 2019, 09:53 PM

harimau putih
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1,587 posts

Joined: Apr 2011
QUOTE(cc980024 @ Apr 22 2019, 06:00 PM)
Exactly! You see, even to speak your heart out about what you feel about marrying her now is a big challenge. What more when she thought moving in to stay with you is getting closer to marriage.

And when a couple stay together, her parents won't allow this status of gf/bf to maintain for long, as "face value" count. Imagine stress level when her age catching up.

Your gf have all she need, she only need a husband now. I could be wrong. But I got a feeling .. she only need a husband as is time already. But did she really know what marriage bring to her life? Or will she even bother? or from young.. everything just work the way she want.. and she expect the same goes to this relationship.

No doubt, girls at late 20s or early 30s will want wedding so much. Reason being that friends around her are getting married. If she is not that well off, $ is an issue.. and you are not stable financially (let say).. do you think she will make noise to marry you? In this forum, we on and off see some ladies having concern that their bf are not motivated and they are worry for their future. For you gf, all is because she have strong financial background, and your financial status means nothing to her.. she only want a man who is presentable.
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in this case, TS gf's parents might have started to pressure her already, if not directly giving hints to TS
ZZR-Pilot
post Apr 23 2019, 10:11 PM

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QUOTE(dontknowwhattodo @ Apr 21 2019, 09:29 PM)
Hi All, after 2 years of break up. I got myself a new girl friend lately. We are both same age 32, and recently i realised i am having random negative thoughts of our relationship and being indecisive all the time.

Story: We have been seeing each other for 8 months now, and out of the blue,  topic of getting marry came out (from her, of course). Well, not to say that i am not ready, but i wish to get to know her more , or stay/live together just to see if we would have any compatibility issues. Thing is , i am not sure how long would i need to evaluate her to be my life partner / tie the knot.

Another thought is that we are both 32 years old this year, to be honest, i don't mind but i worry about her. She is 32 this year and i feel scared if i take too long and **assume for the worst, what if we don't end up together after few years later? I might ruin her life by occupying her all these year and both end up not settling down together. I can't help but keep having all these thoughts (Not sure is negative thought or overthinking).

Yes, i do thought of breaking up just to set her free so that she can have someone settle down with her quick. Of course i keep this just to myself.

Our dating life is consider good, she is a lawyer, she is pampered (Coming from a very wealthy family), and our family background and living style is significantly different. For example, she eat at the mall all the time. While on the other hand, i am a corporate worker, who make 9k per month and like to eat at mamak/hawker/food court frequently.

P.S: She bring up the topic of getting marry at least twice a week, and she will get angry if i just ignore her and even claim that i don't love her.

Any advice?
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If you're not ready, you're not ready.

Please stop being selfish and waste her time. Tell her and let her go.

ymc2303
post Apr 24 2019, 06:16 PM

On my way
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Joined: Oct 2009
From: Kuala Lumpur


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if you have no plans of settling down in near future, its best to let her go and let her pursue her future partner in whom had the same view as her.
but if you really see her as the 'one', you need to make plans and changes to whatever you feel you lack.

btw if she really mean quick and now doesn't mean now, but at least you need a game plan on how the thing works. if you have nothing, its a waste of time and resource. consider that 8mth of seeing each other a sign that she still hope that you are the ONE for her. whether or not you respond to her hope, its up to you then.

 

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