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 I like this girl but I'm depressed again because.., how to break the ice?

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Pete the great
post Apr 23 2019, 08:20 AM

On my way
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Junior Member
519 posts

Joined: Jul 2013
QUOTE(jimmyoon1994 @ Apr 23 2019, 02:07 AM)
Maybe I just really free these days... When my new job start on May 6th, I'll be focus on my career more.
Everyone has their own "success" definition, earning more and follow typical society is for me. I value my life experiences, hence after I pursue my photography journey since year 2012, finally I achieved my photography goal in year 2017, not as "successful" as usual photographers you guys always see, but it is just part time and consider successful for me already. I drive perodua kelisa, 8 years old car already I guess...I'm quite frugal person, can save a lot of money and don't buy unnecessary stuffs for myself, not cheapskate, I'm really willing to spend money on things for people I cared about, of course the things need be in my league...

After failed relationship in year 2017 for long time, I lost my life direction, then my close male friend (7 years friends) told me to set life goals, photography (done), now just left this "love" goal. Nothing more goals, however, this will take plenty of time until...someday I achieve this goal.
I always shoot photos of event primarily, any type of photography, event one can definitely meet many people. I also have a community to invite group to outing, because I'm their photographer.
Being introvert, quiet and soft (aka beta?) as a person... I rarely to have any interactions with girls while doing my photography works or others, only when they ask for photos or when I take photos of them.
Most of time events, so I found their names easily on Facebook or any related to events. I never try to get girls number in the real life, I prefer to talk for sometime online and proceed from there. There were many mistakes I made in the past, wait too long, get friendzoned, deserve better, blocked by one of them, etc.

True about their female age part, especially asians. I turn 25 this year, when 28-30, I will get to know after those girls around my age, that want to settle down. I still can search around... I guess, "The One" can't come so easily...

Thanks you guys for words and tips, greatly appreciated.
*
Getting involve in social activities is not easy, you sort of have to market yourself and ensure you are easy to get along to have people to like to ask u to tag along or get involve in a project.

I know a guy who has this explosive and attractive character that whenever he get involve in a project, more n more people want to invite him for other social projects. He started out writing food blogs, going trips with friends explore food, then after that outdoor trips with more m more people then in choir events then in competitive races, etc

Of course not asking u to emulate him but you can try at least y learn something new.

If u feel u need dating practice perhaps u can think about investing in relationships. Of course the best would be free of cost but since u said u have little time to meet people and u struggle socially, u can try to sign up for lunch actually or date Smith. Do bare in mind they are org that want to make profit out of you so you must negotiate hard with them, but the opportunity to meet an opposite sex and talk to them over lunch would help you to learn how to get over you social awkwardness. Other more cheaper but riskier ways would be via tinder. Some may feel happier to save money via this way but it comes with risks as your dates are not vetted or checked. I once heard from a friend that use tinder he was dating this adulterer lady and her husband found out, kept harassing him. He didn’t know she was married. But changes of success also lower for tinder, I read some posters here complain they can’t find dates at all in tinder.

Don’t get too pressured as u are still young but of course the younger the easier to find as you got a larger pool of choice. Still older not mean impossible, I know friends and colleagues who got married n have kids at 35, 37, 40 heck even 45. Recently I attended a wedding of a 47 yo friend who found his wife.

Not just invest in hobbies but also be wise in investing n grow ur money, buy books that teach you how to manage ur finances and invest in stocks and properties. Don’t be high risk always be prudent and allocate 5% of ur monthly income for investment or savings.





biruNippon
post Apr 24 2019, 02:16 PM

Casual
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Junior Member
334 posts

Joined: Apr 2018


Just wanted to say, I think you are in a much better position than me. You are having a business where your passion lies.. and i saw your pic.. your face don;t have acne.. that is a plus point edi.

I got some health issue and I am older than you actually. I am currently dislike my work a lot.. and right now in the rock bottom.

Your issue is you are too desperate and cannot play cool. I am not saying my characteristic is good, mine is actually below average as well. So I know it's not easy to fix..

Fix it and you shall be way way way much better than me .

Good luck bro.
tomato people
post Apr 24 2019, 02:20 PM

Tomato fan
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Senior Member
1,612 posts

Joined: Jul 2016
From: tomato land


Just be friends and find better girls bro!
ymc2303
post Apr 24 2019, 02:40 PM

On my way
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Junior Member
592 posts

Joined: Oct 2009
From: Kuala Lumpur


if not mistaken the spur of the moment when you clicked coincidence with the mood of the conversation ignites the confusion.
you can't be serious on asking someone you knew 6 days to be your gf or a date, there are exceptions but in your case, its not.
don't be too naive on expecting everything to go your way.

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