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 Partner qualification or earning capabilities

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SUSKhai92
post Apr 13 2019, 05:12 PM, updated 5y ago

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I'm a guy, I care about my wife occupation and education qualification, not sure this is normal or not. Since I'm a bachelor I expect my wife the same standard as me, my friends teased me coz I'm aming or expecting my gf to earn the same amount or more or less level as me. Is this the same for you guys? I know someone who's a PhD but chose to settle with someone who is working as admin job I'm impressed.
Benefon
post Apr 13 2019, 05:15 PM

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You should look at PhD level Wife.
Cause not everyone is perfect 👌
Daddy2be
post Apr 13 2019, 05:54 PM

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I feel sorry for you because you have never experienced loving someone enough to see past your own juvenile standard.
alexkos
post Apr 13 2019, 06:31 PM

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comment from man's perspective. It's alright if you have some demand in your life partner. Having the same educational qualification (or more or less) is a surrogate measure of the level of intellectual conversations, as well as the earning power coming along with it.
SUSKhai92
post Apr 13 2019, 06:53 PM

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QUOTE(Daddy2be @ Apr 13 2019, 05:54 PM)
I feel sorry for you because you have never experienced loving someone enough to see past your own juvenile standard.
*
I find its hard to even make friends with eg. cleaners. Fact is my close childhood friend who didn't attend uni lost contact, some I met back we hardly can click anymore because we live in different level or standard alrdy. I wonder how possible it is for me to find a wife who I can't communicate well
Daddy2be
post Apr 13 2019, 07:01 PM

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QUOTE(Khai92 @ Apr 13 2019, 06:53 PM)
I find its hard to even make friends with eg. cleaners. Fact is my close childhood friend who didn't attend uni lost contact, some I met back we hardly can click anymore because we live in different level or standard alrdy. I wonder how possible it is for me to find a wife who I can't communicate well
*
What different standard or different level? Please don't make excuse for yourself.

You just look down on people. Simple as that. Trust me, you're doing those 'cleaners' a favour cause a friend like you is toxic.
SUSKhai92
post Apr 14 2019, 07:21 AM

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QUOTE(Daddy2be @ Apr 13 2019, 07:01 PM)
What different standard or different level? Please don't make excuse for yourself.

You just look down on people. Simple as that. Trust me, you're doing those 'cleaners' a favour cause a friend like you is toxic.
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different level of education, will lead to different level of thinking, mindset and goal of life. You don't see professionals hangout with rempit at roadside at 12am..
powerbarr
post Apr 14 2019, 08:53 AM

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education level doesn’t portray qualities of a husband or wife. u can have high education level but shitty attitude does making marriage falls apart. it’s very subjective.
Daddy2be
post Apr 14 2019, 10:12 AM

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QUOTE(Khai92 @ Apr 14 2019, 07:21 AM)
different level of education, will lead to different level of thinking, mindset and goal of life. You don't see professionals hangout with rempit at roadside at 12am..
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You only have a degree. Get over yourself. What a loser
Chaud
post Apr 14 2019, 10:35 AM

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for someone who would look down on others? i rather recommend you not to date. even if your future gf/wife has those degree/PhD, I'm pretty sure there's something else she would be weak at and probably being look down by you
uk15029
post Apr 14 2019, 11:33 AM

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QUOTE(Khai92 @ Apr 14 2019, 08:21 AM)
different level of education, will lead to different level of thinking, mindset and goal of life. You don't see professionals hangout with rempit at roadside at 12am..
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For god sakes, you are just a degree holder...don't look down at people...
~min~
post Apr 14 2019, 11:44 AM

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one can be highly educated but lack of eq and one can be less educated but have high iq, nowaday anyone can get a bachelor



meet more people and broaden your perspective.
Ralna
post Apr 14 2019, 12:18 PM

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TS, occupation, academic qualification, monthly income, weight/height/shape etc, are quantitative/demographical categories. These categories do not thoroughly define a person's thinking, mindset and goal of life (qualities/ attributes), which you can only find out after you interact with the person for some time.

Hence, when you apply these categories before you meet a person, you actually form stereotypes, and this causes you to be biased in your judgement. Don't you think it's unfair to shut people out, before you even get to know them... just because you believe in your assumptions of how the person is like?

Applying your logic, then those PhD holders/ millionaires/ CEOs and celebrities... shouldn't talk to you at all, coz you're just a salaried employee with a Bachelor's degree... with no fame/ no social status/ no 7-digit asset. You're just a nobody to them, so teenie-weenie like an ant.

If they form such assumptions of you and treat you coldly or shun you out, I'm sure you don't feel good either.

So, treat others the way you would like to be treated. If you like to be respected, then learn to respect other people first. Your preference for an ideal mate shouldn't be a stumbling block to your interpersonal relationships.

Suggestion for you:
Go ask that "someone who's a PhD but chose to settle with someone who is working as admin job" why he/she fell in love in the first place. Find out the qualities of that admin that attract the PhD holder, and the stories behind. Your current judgement is flawed and inaccurate.

This post has been edited by Ralna: Apr 14 2019, 12:18 PM
eggtart02
post Apr 15 2019, 09:17 AM

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QUOTE(Khai92 @ Apr 13 2019, 05:12 PM)
I'm a guy, I care about my wife occupation and education qualification, not sure this is normal or not. Since I'm a bachelor I expect my wife the same standard as me, my friends teased me coz I'm aming or expecting my gf to earn the same amount or more or less level as me. Is this the same for you guys? I know someone who's a PhD but chose to settle with someone who is working as admin job I'm impressed.
*
QUOTE(Khai92 @ Apr 13 2019, 06:53 PM)
I find its hard to even make friends with eg. cleaners. Fact is my close childhood friend who didn't attend uni lost contact, some I met back we hardly can click anymore because we live in different level or standard alrdy. I wonder how possible it is for me to find a wife who I can't communicate well
*
There are so many people with bachelors and higher and way more people smarter and capable than you. How does that make you different from others?
The cert shows that you have studied, but doesn't show that you are educated cause there are so many more aspect in life. For instance, your attitude.
How do you feel if someone treat you the same way as you treat others?

This post has been edited by eggtart02: Apr 15 2019, 09:18 AM
darkmusses
post Apr 15 2019, 09:22 AM

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QUOTE(Daddy2be @ Apr 13 2019, 07:01 PM)
What different standard or different level? Please don't make excuse for yourself.

You just look down on people. Simple as that. Trust me, you're doing those 'cleaners' a favour cause a friend like you is toxic.
*
I agree. I earn a decent living yet I can click with almost everyone ...
Capt. Marble
post Apr 15 2019, 10:09 AM

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It is not the certification level that matters darling.
cc980024
post Apr 15 2019, 11:12 AM

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No doubt, I met all my ex-bf and even my hubby during tertiary education. We both are from the same education level. In another word, we got fish out from the pond (uni), before we got into river/sea (work).

During those days, we only have friends from this same circle. But be it same education level, status or standard, that doesn't mean relationship sustainable. That's why i have 2-ex before my hubby.

If you say, it is good to marry someone from the same level. I can only say "it so happen that we met in uni".
And frankly speaking, as you all know. Girls always look for a guy who is better than her. If a guy use this as a measurement to find a gf, a girl with Bachelor Degree having similar thought will want at least a Master Degree bf.


biruNippon
post Apr 15 2019, 02:43 PM

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if you can find one then good for you. Otherwise, you can talk until Singapore yet still ended up be a wizard
Drian
post Apr 15 2019, 05:49 PM

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QUOTE(Khai92 @ Apr 13 2019, 05:12 PM)
I'm a guy, I care about my wife occupation and education qualification, not sure this is normal or not. Since I'm a bachelor I expect my wife the same standard as me, my friends teased me coz I'm aming or expecting my gf to earn the same amount or more or less level as me. Is this the same for you guys? I know someone who's a PhD but chose to settle with someone who is working as admin job I'm impressed.
*
There's nothing wrong with you demanding and have expectations. If women can demand so can a guy.

Problem is women with the same qualification as you will also demand more.
Unfortunately it's never going to be fair, women marries someone at very minimum equal or better, but very rarely marry someone worst than their own social status.

It's not wrong having that expectation, but it's going to be harder for you to achieve that.


This post has been edited by Drian: Apr 15 2019, 05:55 PM
Blofeld
post Apr 16 2019, 11:12 AM

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Some ppl have certain expectation for looks, for educational qualification, for occupation, etc so it's up to u lor…

Different ppl different expectations.

Women have been doing that all the while. I have seen some even putting up requirements for height and weight (of the opposite sex) in their profile. Like some women prefer men to be of certain height, certain occupation, certain wealth level, etc.

So, what's wrong for u to do likewise?

But the thing is can you meet your goal of finding the right one?

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