my passport died. i did not renew it yet.
I grew up in chaos. Grew up without parents, moving house 1 or 2 times a year, suffered abuse when i was young. I am no stranger to chaos.
different cell different loh.
1. No regrets in my life. It is because i went to prison that i found Islam and found hope to change my life in a different direction.
  Majority of people live their life doing 1 thing and 1 thing only. Trying to be as comfortable as possible and trying to avoid pain as much as possible.
  Do not fear pain, discomfort or suffering. Those things are a price for many good things. Obviously don't go looking for meaningless pain ,  discomfort or suffering.
  Change is difficult and painful. Sacrifice is difficult and painful. Letting go off something is difficult and painful. Going to the gym is difficult and painful.
  Accept pain, discomfort or suffering. Embrace pain, discomfort or suffering. Mutafuka, i am telling you, take pain, discomfort or suffering out for a nice candle light dinner, hold hands with her and bring her home and and fucking    make love to her. Because if you want a better life, pain, discomfort or suffering will be right there till the day you die.
  Pain, discomfort or suffering is a part of ,progress, winning, improving, change for the better, training, etc etc. all the good stuff.

 
2. There is no dabbling in a life of crime. You stick a finger in the pond, you get sucked in.
    I did illegal businesses. Money was good, but no peace in my heart, no joy, no happiness (temporary happiness got bah) no purpose, no pride in myself, i hated myself.

    I used to think i was a hardcore mutafuka because i can sleep at night peacefully with all the things i done and all the things i seen, but actually now i think its just sad because i am just desensitized due to going thru too much shit. 

  I know a few guys who retired from that life ( we can't leave that life but we can retire. Once u go in, there is no getting out. )
  Main reason people retire is because of a girl, actually. Like the movie John Wick.
  I have seen people go back to that life after they lost the girl. haha.

My sins, that is between me and Allah. Islam gives me peace, direction, purpose, guidance.

I didn't become a Muslim because i was looking for a way to erase my sins.

If you knew me before, you would have mentioned my other character flaws as well. I was not only a greedy and impatient person.

I was a hateful person, filled with anger,

i was prideful. I was envious.

I had lust for money, power, sex.

Sometimes i am those too, nowadays. But Islam provides guidance. Allah does not require perfection from us.
Btw, those monks are not practicing religion. They are meditating to reach another state of consciousness. It takes years to master the other state of consciousness.
Anything that removes yourself completely from the world is not religion.

IT company
You observe those tribes that is cut off from civilization. They seem to be aware there is a higher power, there is ALLAH. They raise their hands and look to the sky, they scream and shout at the stars, they dance and they jump around making noises.

What difference between me and those tribes if i don't have the QURAN?

From the phrase bi-smi llāhi r-raḥmāni r-raḥīm, "In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful." we know that Allah is Gracious and Allah is Merciful.

From the Quran, i know that Allah does not require us to build pyramids and then tear out the still beating hearts of captured enemies as offering, like what the Aztecs were doing.

Without a messenger, humanity will be lost, we would be performing human sacrifices, praying to anything and everything like the Taoists, worshipping demons and other shit like that.

Well, you stated that humanity no need guidance, can connect straight to God.

I was merely correcting your statement.

dude i am an atheist too but come on man... dial it down and just agree to disagree. respect others the way you want your belief to be respected.