to be fair, i have some superficial faith until I was 16-17. i couldn't really care what ustaz say. i think it's stupid.so many of it rules is what I consider stupid. the basic things is why God need a name, shouldn't God just mean God?. unsatisfied with expmaination i figured why depend on people when I can do it myself.

so at that time, i was in Melaka, my mom work at GH. and the state mosque besides it got itself a nice looking big library but no one was there. so i use it to study afterwards i would read some book on theologist.

at the end of it i continue on at UIA, which is very sufis place, not really what i expected, i thought it was crawling with taliban. at the end it just full of Syed Saddiq & Mazlee. i do enjoyed the theology discussion there.

For which i arrive at my current conclusion. the scientific truth is people should just be agnostics. the believe there is a God or there's no God is just a matter of believe. basically it what seem like a scientific experiment/virtual simulation in which the creation after given intellect can observe the existence of the creator.
but the evidence for me that  is more tilted toward there is a God. particularly as concluded by albert einstein or ibnu Sina argument of God existance through the contexts of eyes creation.

but of course ibnu Sina & Albert Einstein ideas of a God is not a personal God. So personally i don't believe in a personal God, i mean a supreme being being our own personal santa claus. off course not.i belip people who believe in a personal God is suffering from delusional of grandiose.
what intrigued me really is the idea of a souls. a souls isn't physical or in a sense it isn't comprehensible in our limited abilities. so it s either just mean it's a delusions and not real or it exists in a higher dimensions (plain). i felt that way Is because a human body seem to work more like a robot that i 'piloted' then myself. at the end of the day I'm not granted superuser access to this body of mine. if i got it then all I need is to type " sudo apt attack cell" and I'm cancer free, to be buff just type sudo apt buff or something or just sudo apt disable pain receptors. but I can't. the whole medical systems is about hacking your android phone to do what we want because we don't have root access to it.

another thing is all observable matter in the universe never actually disappear. it's changed shape but the amount of matter is still the same since the time of the big bang. so if soul and even conciousness exist then it would just changed forms rather than just disappear.

religion are pretty simple really. for now i only had read really some part of quran, some synopsis of the bible/veda . it's seem if we just subtract the man made edition to it. it's really simple.

1) we using the limited abilities we got have to come to a conclusion that there is a God. it's not a complete empirical evidence that there is a God. but I comes to a conclusion that it is highly likely God exist.

2) just do good deeds on earth. being good is afterall statistically profitable even if we take our time on earth as the cut off point..

for now, I'm trying to figure out which version of God is God. but I say it might be futile as our intellectual, capabilities etc etc as albeit Einstein say would never be able to comprehend God. we can't even comprehend the world as it is.theres so much scientific advancements that precedes our own observation abilities. there's just so much thing we don't know.

.l was promised that i would be free of the constraints of 3 dimensions + times and can comprehend God & the universe when I'm dead. so Im really kinda looking forward to it.

maybe elon musk and the sufis are right in which the world is just a virtual illusion. basically just like in swords art online:alicesanation. i mean I must know.