Ok, not sure where to ask this, but since it is still considered as a relationship issue
Maybe i ask for everyone's opinion here.
I am 31 this year and my mother is 58. All these while ever since i was little, she had a very simple philosophy for my life.
"to be happy and live the way you want"
Yea, just that. But recently, after she mingled with her long lost school mates bunch, she changed, somewhat.
I always call her every few days since I am in KL and she is in Ipoh, and she comes down to my house every so often (every 2 weeks).
This was the conversation between she and me yesterday which somehow hurts my feeling:
Mum: "You know, i am disappoint with you 3." *I have 2 younger brothers.
Mum: "both of your younger bro also have issues... (which i will not elaborate here), including you"
Me: "why? i never give you problem like those 2, have a job, have a house and car, why you said so?"
Mum: "when i was meeting my friends, they are so proud of their sons and daughters, working in Aus, Sg, all those oversea location, but you 3, give me nothing but worries and nothing to proud of"
Me:"i am looking for job in oversea since you insist on it so much, but i am working as project manager now, salary may not be as much as your friends' children 5 figures, but that is the current market of Malaysia"
Mum: "you just not work hard enough"
Me: "i am working on it now, it depends on luck as well"
Mum: "and then you asked me not to come on 24 Dec because of you want to celebrate with your gf at home. Why? I will not bother you and your gf"
Me:"I only ask you to come some other dates other than 24 Dec, the rest of the time, i never said you can't come"
Mum: "see have son lar, see how a son treats the mother"
Mum: "then there is cny coming soon"
Me: "i give you more this year ok? is 1.5k enough?"
Mum: "What can i say? not enough?"
Me: "..."
That's basically the main point of the conversation.
When she was younger, she vowed not to be like my grandparents who treated her unfairly, my grandparents was prejudice towards her and always bad mouth her infront of my father, my father had big argument with grandparents for this back in the days.
But now she slowly turns into what she didn't want to be. She become very controlling, asking me
"why go out so late with your gf?"
"wah, your gf stays so far, why can't you ask her to stay with you?"
etc...
Which normally i just reply, that was how father treated you last time, why you didn't comment on that?
Anyhow, how to change her mindset now? her friends really intoxicated her, she became more jealous of the others and putting stress on me...
her words yesterday as if i am no better than a charsiew, and i just feel bad of it
issue with my mother and i