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> Gossip, Talk Bad, Ruining people's image

Melon_Melly
post Nov 8 2018, 06:00 PM, updated 5d ago

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Hello, I really need some tips here. So I've started my college at January this year and its really okay for me to communicate with my classmates at first but after few months they all doesn't really want to talk to me or even bother me cuz they had built up their gang, they've met when they're in secondary school, so I ended up remain a friendship with one girl in my classroom. (Its not that I don't want or shy to communicate with them, they simply doesn't want to bother me and they have already had their own gangs cuz they were friends since secondary school). I took different subjects with my only friend so we hardly met for classes and I'm always alone when she's not with me but I still get to sit with my classmates(not friend). But lately I found out they are trying to boycott me? There are three rows of sits in the classroom, and whenever I sit in that row, nobody sits there. They kept gossip about me and so so( I heard them). I really don't know what had I done, why am I getting treated like that. Any idea? Really need help in this. The first time in my life without friends during college. I've always been something like a positive energy and joker during primary and secondary school.
NightHeart
post Nov 8 2018, 10:51 PM

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Ahh normal la, some group of people tend to be overly dramatic. It's their source of entertainment. It'll continue until they're old if they didn't mature up. Just continue be positive, assumed you misheard them & don't judge that they're thinking bad about you.

You'll find your own circle someday. It may not be that big but friendship is quality over quantity. Focus on building your own positive personality & attitude.
hanii
post Nov 9 2018, 02:55 AM

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This time will pass. Just shrug off their gossiping as long as it didn't disturb your studies and your mental health. I've been boycotted. I've seen people got boycotted. And I know well that it hurts.

But the time will pass. Just keep an open mind and keep on being your positive self. Good luck!
carini
post Nov 10 2018, 03:49 AM

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QUOTE(Melon_Melly @ Nov 8 2018, 06:00 PM)
Hello, I really need some tips here. So I've started my college at January this year and its really okay for me to communicate with my classmates at first but after few months they all doesn't really want to talk to me or even bother me cuz they had built up their gang, they've met when they're in secondary school, so I ended up remain a friendship with one girl in my classroom. (Its not that I don't want or shy to communicate with them, they simply doesn't want to bother me and they have already had their own gangs cuz they were friends since secondary school). I took different subjects with my only friend so we hardly met for classes and I'm always alone when she's not with me but I still get to sit with my classmates(not friend). But lately I found out they are trying to boycott me? There are three rows of sits in the classroom, and whenever I sit in that row, nobody sits there. They kept gossip about me and so so( I heard them). I really don't know what had I done, why am I getting treated like that. Any idea? Really need help in this. The first time in my life without friends during college. I've always been something like a positive energy and joker during primary and secondary school.
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This is just the beginning. What I meant is now you experience this in college, next time you will experience people backstab/gossip/dislike you at workplace. There will be gossips whenever there is people. But on a positive note, not everyone is this type of people. Keep close to people you like and who like you too. Ignore those who backstab you. Focus during your study. Do not be rude to those who dislike you, just ignore them. I know what I am talking about not because I am older than you, but I have seen groups gossiping about others, about me, relatives gossiping about others, it is very tiring, yes, especially if you are not the type who backstab or gossiping type.

I even heard those who dislike me talk bad near me. I will just ignore them. I will be close to those who likes me and vice versa. Those who dislike you, will continue talks bad about you, and will find any opportunity to makes you look bad in front of other people. Trust me, trained yourself to ignore them and focus on your study. If you are distracted by all this negative people, you will bring more harm and anger within yourself, and at the end, guess who will burn? Yourself, as you are holding the anger within you.

Imagine you holding a coal, angry with others, having sleepless night, while those negative people continue gossips about you, continue with their daily life. At the end, you are burnt while they happily with their life. So, the best way is to focus focus focus on your own life, on what you are doing, on people who love/likes you and ignore these negative people.

I have to deal with all this gossiping people all my life, and it is silly to let them affect me. It is really silly to even be angry with them for 5 minutes, as your 5 minutes is gone focusing on them. What a waste of time. Your 5 minutes should be to do assignments or planning what to eat or on what you like, and never spend even a minute of your time to focus on these negative people. I wish you all the best.
Melon_Melly
post Nov 10 2018, 10:11 AM

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QUOTE(carini @ Nov 10 2018, 03:49 AM)
This is just the beginning. What I meant is now you experience this in college, next time you will experience people backstab/gossip/dislike you at workplace. There will be gossips whenever there is people. But on a positive note, not everyone is this type of people. Keep close to people you like and who like you too. Ignore those who backstab you. Focus during your study. Do not be rude to those who dislike you, just ignore them. I know what I am talking about not because I am older than you, but I have seen groups gossiping about others, about me, relatives gossiping about others, it is very tiring, yes, especially if you are not the type who backstab or gossiping type.

I even heard those who dislike me talk bad near me. I will just ignore them. I will be close to those who likes me and vice versa. Those who dislike you, will continue talks bad about you, and will find any opportunity to makes you look bad in front of other people. Trust me, trained yourself to ignore them and focus on your study. If you are distracted by all this negative people, you will bring more harm and anger within yourself, and at the end, guess who will burn? Yourself, as you are holding the anger within you.

Imagine you holding a coal, angry with others, having sleepless night, while those negative people continue gossips about you, continue with their daily life. At the end, you are burnt while they happily with their life. So, the best way is to focus focus focus on your own life, on what you are doing, on people who love/likes you and ignore these negative people.

I have to deal with all this gossiping people all my life, and it is silly to let them affect me. It is really silly to even be angry with them for 5 minutes, as your 5 minutes is gone focusing on them. What a waste of time. Your 5 minutes should be to do assignments or planning what to eat or on what you like, and never spend even a minute of your time to focus on these negative people. I wish you all the best.
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thank you, really appreciate your answer.


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