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 Being used, What to do

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TSImasillygirl
post Oct 19 2018, 10:47 AM, updated 6y ago

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Broke up with him after 3 months of rebound relationship, before this he got out of 4 years relationship and chased me aggressively after 2 months of break up. I saught assurance from him that he is ready for next relationship only I accepted him. When we together he mentioned his ex alot, intentionally and unintentionally. Also he likes to compare me to his ex. He always mentioned how violent she was by slapping him, beating him. He even told his family and friends the same about how toxic was his ex. Few weeks before break up he treat me so cold so I confronted him why he acted such. He said it's because he got too much trauma from previous toxic relationship, thus he will not commit and devote much into our relationship. He forced me to either accept it or break up. Of course I choose the latter. 3 weeks later he changed all his profile picture to a kissing photo with his ex that he cursed hardly all the time. They rekindled. I feel devastated, I dunno why he need to be so high profile to announce all this, particularly to show me. Don't he feel shamed on his action by telling me that he is just a jerk? I did nothing wrong and I'm the victim of his selfish revenge, why he wanted to hurt me repeatedly. I feel miserable being used as a tool to revenge his ex, I feel like scolding him, should I ? Please advise
Baconateer
post Oct 19 2018, 10:51 AM

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Nope. Just move on with your life.

Not worth wasting your time and energy on him.
wangpr
post Oct 19 2018, 10:51 AM

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QUOTE(Imasillygirl @ Oct 19 2018, 10:47 AM)
Broke up with him after 3 months of rebound relationship, before this he got out of 4 years relationship and chased me aggressively after 2 months of break up. I saught assurance from him that he is ready for next relationship only I accepted him. When we together he mentioned his ex alot, intentionally and unintentionally. Also he likes to compare me to his ex. He always mentioned how violent she was by slapping him, beating him. He even told his family and friends the same about how toxic was his ex. Few weeks before break up he treat me so cold so I confronted him why he acted such. He said it's because he got too much trauma from previous toxic relationship, thus he will not commit and devote much into our relationship. He forced me to either accept it or break up. Of course I choose the latter. 3 weeks later he changed all his profile picture to a kissing photo with his ex that he cursed hardly all the time. They rekindled. I feel devastated, I dunno why he need to be so high profile to announce all this, particularly to show me. Don't he feel shamed on his action by  telling me that he is just a jerk? I did nothing wrong and I'm the victim of his selfish revenge, why he wanted to hurt me repeatedly. I feel miserable being used as a tool to revenge his ex, I feel like scolding him, should I ? Please advise
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You already see his real face, just ignore cause the more you think the more you suffered mentally...

Just continue enjoy yourself in coming days.

Relationship is just aadvanced string of friendship....... If you think you unable to friend back with him, just ignore him forever.....................


tinkerbel
post Oct 19 2018, 10:54 AM

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I'm sorry you had to go through this experience. There's no point in crying over spilt milk. Just move on. Whatever you intend to do or want to do is not going to make him feel a thing so forget it.
cdspins
post Oct 19 2018, 10:54 AM

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If you already break up with him, it is best not to follow him in his social media. You have not seen even nastier breakup scene, back stabbing, bitching, name calling, stalking and etc. Just enjoy your life and ignore him. You will feel better surrounding yourself with family and friends
cherrios
post Oct 19 2018, 10:55 AM

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scolding will not do anything to him, most probably he doesn't care...so don't invest your energy on that. i know you're hurt but try go invest something that you would be appreciated by your friends/family.
Hades76
post Oct 19 2018, 11:05 AM

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Clear cut he has moved on...you should too...
eggtart02
post Oct 19 2018, 11:40 AM

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QUOTE(Imasillygirl @ Oct 19 2018, 10:47 AM)
Broke up with him after 3 months of rebound relationship, before this he got out of 4 years relationship and chased me aggressively after 2 months of break up. I saught assurance from him that he is ready for next relationship only I accepted him. When we together he mentioned his ex alot, intentionally and unintentionally. Also he likes to compare me to his ex. He always mentioned how violent she was by slapping him, beating him. He even told his family and friends the same about how toxic was his ex. Few weeks before break up he treat me so cold so I confronted him why he acted such. He said it's because he got too much trauma from previous toxic relationship, thus he will not commit and devote much into our relationship. He forced me to either accept it or break up. Of course I choose the latter. 3 weeks later he changed all his profile picture to a kissing photo with his ex that he cursed hardly all the time. They rekindled. I feel devastated, I dunno why he need to be so high profile to announce all this, particularly to show me. Don't he feel shamed on his action by  telling me that he is just a jerk? I did nothing wrong and I'm the victim of his selfish revenge, why he wanted to hurt me repeatedly. I feel miserable being used as a tool to revenge his ex, I feel like scolding him, should I ? Please advise
*
*hugs* you must be feeling terrible now but trust me it will get better and one day you'll realised its a blessing you escaped from him.
Sometimes we have to meet jerks to make us open our eyes. My advise would be just to block all his post and to leave him alone. There is something called karma after all smile.gif
Do pm me if you need someone to talk to. Take care
superng888
post Oct 19 2018, 11:50 AM

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So sorry for your experience. Yes, you were used as a rebound. He was probably complaining all about his ex but really wanted her back (So he was just trying to get attention). TS, please move on because you can do better. I do understand that you are feeling very hurt and that you think that you don't want to be in a relationship anymore. Give yourself some time and love yourself. Guys who go back to their ex after talking bad about them is just very low. smile.gif Look forward and please cut contact with him because I don't think your relationship with him will be a healthy one. Stay strong.
youngblood29us
post Oct 19 2018, 12:07 PM

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It is a blessing in disguise.. Move on ts.. Such dick should be ignored completely.. And don't ever go to anyone who had just broken up.. Guy or gal the same..
ReWeR
post Oct 19 2018, 12:16 PM

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Don't waste your energy on this guy. Avoid him like plague. You are lucky to see the real face of your lover soon enough.
Darkcloudz
post Oct 19 2018, 12:31 PM

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learnt a lesson, next time bring an bigger eyes when meet a new boy/guy
light_sdo
post Oct 19 2018, 01:56 PM

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QUOTE(Imasillygirl @ Oct 19 2018, 10:47 AM)
Broke up with him after 3 months of rebound relationship, before this he got out of 4 years relationship and chased me aggressively after 2 months of break up. I saught assurance from him that he is ready for next relationship only I accepted him. When we together he mentioned his ex alot, intentionally and unintentionally. Also he likes to compare me to his ex. He always mentioned how violent she was by slapping him, beating him. He even told his family and friends the same about how toxic was his ex. Few weeks before break up he treat me so cold so I confronted him why he acted such. He said it's because he got too much trauma from previous toxic relationship, thus he will not commit and devote much into our relationship. He forced me to either accept it or break up. Of course I choose the latter. 3 weeks later he changed all his profile picture to a kissing photo with his ex that he cursed hardly all the time. They rekindled. I feel devastated, I dunno why he need to be so high profile to announce all this, particularly to show me. Don't he feel shamed on his action by  telling me that he is just a jerk? I did nothing wrong and I'm the victim of his selfish revenge, why he wanted to hurt me repeatedly. I feel miserable being used as a tool to revenge his ex, I feel like scolding him, should I ? Please advise
*
Move on with your life, you deserve better, the jerk/shit no match to you at all~ notworthy.gif notworthy.gif notworthy.gif
ymc2303
post Oct 19 2018, 02:44 PM

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the best way is to cut ties immediately.. block if have to.
shit happens. no point to inflict further hurt on yourself.

sweet_pez
post Oct 19 2018, 03:25 PM

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QUOTE(Imasillygirl @ Oct 19 2018, 10:47 AM)
Broke up with him after 3 months of rebound relationship, before this he got out of 4 years relationship and chased me aggressively after 2 months of break up. I saught assurance from him that he is ready for next relationship only I accepted him. When we together he mentioned his ex alot, intentionally and unintentionally. Also he likes to compare me to his ex. He always mentioned how violent she was by slapping him, beating him. He even told his family and friends the same about how toxic was his ex. Few weeks before break up he treat me so cold so I confronted him why he acted such. He said it's because he got too much trauma from previous toxic relationship, thus he will not commit and devote much into our relationship. He forced me to either accept it or break up. Of course I choose the latter. 3 weeks later he changed all his profile picture to a kissing photo with his ex that he cursed hardly all the time. They rekindled. I feel devastated, I dunno why he need to be so high profile to announce all this, particularly to show me. Don't he feel shamed on his action by  telling me that he is just a jerk? I did nothing wrong and I'm the victim of his selfish revenge, why he wanted to hurt me repeatedly. I feel miserable being used as a tool to revenge his ex, I feel like scolding him, should I ? Please advise
*
Sorry to hear what you went through... Just remove him from your life. He doesn't deserve your attention any more than a chicken crossing the street, so delete him from your life and stop yourself from checking out his Facebook or Instagram. All these will only make things more miserable as you see him bask in happiness.

Swipe him clean from your life and do something to distract yourself - a hobby, travel with your gal pals, take up dance/ singing lessons etc. In time, you'll be able to put him behind you.
Drian
post Oct 19 2018, 03:34 PM

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QUOTE(Imasillygirl @ Oct 19 2018, 10:47 AM)
Broke up with him after 3 months of rebound relationship, before this he got out of 4 years relationship and chased me aggressively after 2 months of break up. I saught assurance from him that he is ready for next relationship only I accepted him. When we together he mentioned his ex alot, intentionally and unintentionally. Also he likes to compare me to his ex. He always mentioned how violent she was by slapping him, beating him. He even told his family and friends the same about how toxic was his ex. Few weeks before break up he treat me so cold so I confronted him why he acted such. He said it's because he got too much trauma from previous toxic relationship, thus he will not commit and devote much into our relationship. He forced me to either accept it or break up. Of course I choose the latter. 3 weeks later he changed all his profile picture to a kissing photo with his ex that he cursed hardly all the time. They rekindled. I feel devastated, I dunno why he need to be so high profile to announce all this, particularly to show me. Don't he feel shamed on his action by  telling me that he is just a jerk? I did nothing wrong and I'm the victim of his selfish revenge, why he wanted to hurt me repeatedly. I feel miserable being used as a tool to revenge his ex, I feel like scolding him, should I ? Please advise
*
Just move on, it's no different than girls using guys as a rebound guy.


PrincipaliteY
post Oct 19 2018, 03:44 PM

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i m so sorry u had to go thru this.
my consolation is u made the right choice. its time to let go of that bastard.
that kind of attitude not gonna last him long in life n probably he'll live a mediocre life
adeline84
post Oct 19 2018, 03:53 PM

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QUOTE(Imasillygirl @ Oct 19 2018, 10:47 AM)
Broke up with him after 3 months of rebound relationship, before this he got out of 4 years relationship and chased me aggressively after 2 months of break up. I saught assurance from him that he is ready for next relationship only I accepted him. When we together he mentioned his ex alot, intentionally and unintentionally. Also he likes to compare me to his ex. He always mentioned how violent she was by slapping him, beating him. He even told his family and friends the same about how toxic was his ex. Few weeks before break up he treat me so cold so I confronted him why he acted such. He said it's because he got too much trauma from previous toxic relationship, thus he will not commit and devote much into our relationship. He forced me to either accept it or break up. Of course I choose the latter. 3 weeks later he changed all his profile picture to a kissing photo with his ex that he cursed hardly all the time. They rekindled. I feel devastated, I dunno why he need to be so high profile to announce all this, particularly to show me. Don't he feel shamed on his action by  telling me that he is just a jerk? I did nothing wrong and I'm the victim of his selfish revenge, why he wanted to hurt me repeatedly. I feel miserable being used as a tool to revenge his ex, I feel like scolding him, should I ? Please advise
*
Well once i hear your problem , the best way go for travel n meet more leng chai take picture
beautiful places so just ignore him and delete / remove from ur fb account.
You have ur life go on..painful feeling will get more experiences to solve problem in relationship.
WaCKy-Angel
post Oct 19 2018, 04:02 PM

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QUOTE(Imasillygirl @ Oct 19 2018, 10:47 AM)
Broke up with him after 3 months of rebound relationship, before this he got out of 4 years relationship and chased me aggressively after 2 months of break up. I saught assurance from him that he is ready for next relationship only I accepted him. When we together he mentioned his ex alot, intentionally and unintentionally. Also he likes to compare me to his ex. He always mentioned how violent she was by slapping him, beating him. He even told his family and friends the same about how toxic was his ex. Few weeks before break up he treat me so cold so I confronted him why he acted such. He said it's because he got too much trauma from previous toxic relationship, thus he will not commit and devote much into our relationship. He forced me to either accept it or break up. Of course I choose the latter. 3 weeks later he changed all his profile picture to a kissing photo with his ex that he cursed hardly all the time. They rekindled. I feel devastated, I dunno why he need to be so high profile to announce all this, particularly to show me. Don't he feel shamed on his action by  telling me that he is just a jerk? I did nothing wrong and I'm the victim of his selfish revenge, why he wanted to hurt me repeatedly. I feel miserable being used as a tool to revenge his ex, I feel like scolding him, should I ? Please advise
*
Just move on..
Yggdrasil
post Oct 19 2018, 08:00 PM

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QUOTE(Imasillygirl @ Oct 19 2018, 10:47 AM)
Broke up with him after 3 months of rebound relationship, before this he got out of 4 years relationship and chased me aggressively after 2 months of break up. I saught assurance from him that he is ready for next relationship only I accepted him. When we together he mentioned his ex alot, intentionally and unintentionally. Also he likes to compare me to his ex. He always mentioned how violent she was by slapping him, beating him. He even told his family and friends the same about how toxic was his ex. Few weeks before break up he treat me so cold so I confronted him why he acted such. He said it's because he got too much trauma from previous toxic relationship, thus he will not commit and devote much into our relationship. He forced me to either accept it or break up. Of course I choose the latter. 3 weeks later he changed all his profile picture to a kissing photo with his ex that he cursed hardly all the time. They rekindled. I feel devastated, I dunno why he need to be so high profile to announce all this, particularly to show me. Don't he feel shamed on his action by  telling me that he is just a jerk? I did nothing wrong and I'm the victim of his selfish revenge, why he wanted to hurt me repeatedly. I feel miserable being used as a tool to revenge his ex, I feel like scolding him, should I ? Please advise
*
There was a list of things online to avoid before entering into a relationship.
I forgot where it is that when your partner keep talking about his/her ex.

QUOTE(Imasillygirl @ Oct 19 2018, 10:47 AM)
Broke up with him after 3 months of rebound relationship, before this he got out of 4 years relationship and chased me aggressively after 2 months of break up. I saught assurance from him that he is ready for next relationship only I accepted him. When we together he mentioned his ex alot, intentionally and unintentionally. Also he likes to compare me to his ex. He always mentioned how violent she was by slapping him, beating him. He even told his family and friends the same about how toxic was his ex. Few weeks before break up he treat me so cold so I confronted him why he acted such. He said it's because he got too much trauma from previous toxic relationship, thus he will not commit and devote much into our relationship. He forced me to either accept it or break up. Of course I choose the latter. 3 weeks later he changed all his profile picture to a kissing photo with his ex that he cursed hardly all the time. They rekindled. I feel devastated, I dunno why he need to be so high profile to announce all this, particularly to show me. Don't he feel shamed on his action by  telling me that he is just a jerk? I did nothing wrong and I'm the victim of his selfish revenge, why he wanted to hurt me repeatedly. I feel miserable being used as a tool to revenge his ex, I feel like scolding him, should I ? Please advise
*
There was a list of things online to avoid before entering into a relationship.
I forgot where it is that when your partner keep talking about his/her ex.

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