My in-law side has some toxic and cancerous attitude that resulted my wife to cut connection with them(parents and her siblings) forever, due to keep asking unnecessary request and cheating both of us money, when they are already doing well(with houses paid off and no commitment). Finally they started to affect our business and our client because of my sibling in-law's wife who put bad review and comment on purpose for our company in FB & google, yeah we suspected that she created number of fake account to tarnish us...

My wife had endured and gave in for many years and finally decided to end it.

Although I had tried to bring them back numerous time in good terms, but it doesn't work at all. We seek consultancy and advice from professionals, they did said the same like talk it out in a proper meeting. It doesn't work.

My question is, how to answer awkward question from our children in future if they ask "where is mommy's parents?"
My wife had prepared to answer that she doesn't have sibling and her parents died long time ago. Although I just don't feel right to lie to our kid, but is that the only way?

How old are your children?

I would start with "mommy's parents/family are naughty/mean"

and as they get older, explain the situation in bits.

It may sound toxic, but hey the in-laws really are.

depend on how u grow ur child.

stay away from toxic environment.

When they are young and seldom see your in laws, they will just ask out of curiosity. What ever answer u give them, they normally will not pursue any questions further since your in laws are strangers to them now. If i am u, i will tell my kids, "We will explain to you when u get older". So no need to worry so much. But i think kids should have a close relationship with their grandparents, which for your case is your parents.

they are 2 year and 3 year.

I am just worried they would treat us the same when they know they can do this, u know in future when argument happen between families.
Although we always try to be the best of us.

Tell them story about mengmu3qian. Story on a mother moving away from bad influence so the kid can have good influence.
Same goes to the kids. Tell them you love them, therefore move away from bad influence.

They would not do this if they have no reason to do so.

Don't keep thinking about karma. This is different, you are cutting off toxic people to protect your kids. Do you want them to be embroiled in the mess your in-laws created?

Just tell your kid that they are not good people and you will explain when they're older. Only tell them this when they ask. No need to bring the question up.

I am sorry that you have in-laws like that. I am also taking a big step back from my own family for the same reason.

This post has been edited by lowlowc: Oct 15 2018, 01:20 PM

Just explain as normal.

When I was small, my parents explain to me like an adult about one particular nasty relative.

I don't see any harm of not mincing your words to your child.

well personally..
I would tell children slowly about the issues... indirectly first because they still small and don't really understand the situation...

as they grow bigger... tell them the truth...

it's how my parents did for me...