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> Opinion on partner going out with oppo sex, Partner went out with opposite sex alone

miong93
post Sep 8 2018, 07:02 AM, updated 4 months ago

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1. Are you fine with your gf/bf going out with the opposite sex alone (as in only 1:1, there is no other party)?

2. The gathering may be something like went out for movie or dinner or both etc.

3. The gathering lasted until quite late, around midnight (no clubbing or drinking)

Personally I would like to avoid these kind of situation when I'm in a relationship as I find it weird to be going out with someone else alone and do those stuff which looks very similar to a date.

I feel that even you are a very outgoing person, we should at least try to avoid this kind of gathering, this can helps to avoid unnecessary quarrel/argument/insecurity with your partner.

Maybe I'm a man so I feel that hardly man will initiate a "date" if he is not interested in her. I may be too insecure but thats how I feel.

Let me know your thought on this kind of situation and view from Girls perspective is very welcomed as well.

Ps: sorry for my bad english
x23
post Sep 8 2018, 08:13 AM

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Give & take is really important here, if he/she insists with going out 1:1 with oppo sex, u may let him/her do so with the condition that he/she allow u going out 1:1 with oppo sex. Just to be fair.
Theoutspokenguy
post Sep 8 2018, 08:28 AM

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It actually depends on your partner.

But such outing and dating with opposite sex is preferred to be avoidable. But once a blue moon should be fine.

But what you should do is to making it clear to her if she want to go what are your terms and conditions.

Its normal to feel insecure but i will tell my gf first if i findout if there anything more between you i will end our relationship without discussion.
ymc2303
post Sep 8 2018, 04:07 PM

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if its once in a while, its ok.
after all, its all about trust.
no point lock them up like a bird when they want freedom.
hinder
post Sep 8 2018, 07:51 PM

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Explain to her upfront that you’re not very comfortable with it. Of course, explain your reasons as well and if she continues to do it then I suggest you ditch her and break the other guy’s legs (both). This is of course unless they’re really just very good friends - upon which they should include you in their outings as well. So there you got the answer. Drop her.
superng888
post Sep 9 2018, 12:53 AM

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generally not a good thing. I don't believe in this best friend thing. Feelings will develop with close association with this other person. By then, her balance will be distorted. This is a tough situation but I guess there is nothing you can do besides having her realize your worth. Give it some time. Would not suggest you to hastily confront her because that would make you seem insecure.

All the best TS.
kkkw80
post Sep 9 2018, 11:03 AM

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It does not make sense if she's already confirmed to be with you to go out one on one with the opp sex.
ah_suknat
post Sep 9 2018, 11:17 AM

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If shes yours, shes yours, if you refuse, she will go behind your back anyway
december88
post Sep 9 2018, 11:23 AM

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QUOTE(miong93 @ Sep 8 2018, 07:02 AM)
1. Are you fine with your gf/bf going out with the opposite sex alone (as in only 1:1, there is no other party)?

2. The gathering may be something like went out for movie or dinner or both etc.

3. The gathering lasted until quite late, around midnight (no clubbing or drinking)

Personally I would like to avoid these kind of situation when I'm in a relationship as I find it weird to be going out with someone else alone and do those stuff which looks very similar to a date.

I feel that even you are a very outgoing person, we should at least try to avoid this kind of gathering, this can helps to avoid unnecessary quarrel/argument/insecurity with your partner.

Maybe I'm a man so I feel that hardly man will initiate a "date" if he is not interested in her. I may be too insecure but thats how I feel.

Let me know your thought on this kind of situation and view from Girls perspective is very welcomed as well.

Ps: sorry for my bad english
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It depends on you relationship. If LDR confirm will require a lot of work to be done. Honestly I am wondering if you knew about this when you courted her? If you knew then my piece of advice is be attentitive to her needs, measure her affection towards you as your relationship progress.

I have the same situation with you with my ex-GF, she has more male friends and is more outgoing than me. When I was courting her I knew she had a lot of suitors/friends that wants to be with her to an extend that when we are on a date, strangers will call her mobile to ask for a date. What keeps me going was that I had non-verbal confirmations that she was into me. After we started dating, I deal with my insecurity by knowing that out of many potential suitors that she had, I had her heart & when we are together her affection and devotion to me was genuine, for me that was enough. She was also understanding telling me who she was meeting up too without me asking directly.

If this still bugs you then have a discussion with her, if meeting up with her male friend is important for her then either one of you have to compromise. It helps also to meet up with her male friends and observed their rapport and compare to how both of you are together. Good luck TS.
iloilo
post Sep 9 2018, 01:28 PM

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for me, it depends. if something about work, smth important, then of course no problem..

if its like you mentioned, i feel that I wont allow it cause I also never say yes to my guy friends asking me out just alone both of us. I dont wanna be naive n say "ah come on we are just friends", I think that if my guy friend ask me one on one casual outing like that is just means he got something going on n therefore why should i entertain him..

Well im not a wife to anyone, so if lets say my bf do it, i let him do it, but i just wont stay in the relationship anymore..
ZZR-Pilot
post Sep 12 2018, 05:34 PM

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QUOTE(miong93 @ Sep 8 2018, 08:02 AM)
1. Are you fine with your gf/bf going out with the opposite sex alone (as in only 1:1, there is no other party)?

2. The gathering may be something like went out for movie or dinner or both etc.

3. The gathering lasted until quite late, around midnight (no clubbing or drinking)

Personally I would like to avoid these kind of situation when I'm in a relationship as I find it weird to be going out with someone else alone and do those stuff which looks very similar to a date.

I feel that even you are a very outgoing person, we should at least try to avoid this kind of gathering, this can helps to avoid unnecessary quarrel/argument/insecurity with your partner.

Maybe I'm a man so I feel that hardly man will initiate a "date" if he is not interested in her. I may be too insecure but thats how I feel.

Let me know your thought on this kind of situation and view from Girls perspective is very welcomed as well.

Ps: sorry for my bad english
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Trust and transparency, bro. It's all about trust and transparency.

My wife has earned my trust (which is why I married her in the first place). She treats me in a way that I never ever feel insecure about her, so I do not mind her going out for dinner and yumncha alone with her guy friends.

That said, I can tell she values the trust I place in her as such she never puts me in a position where I am forced to suspect anything. For example, she makes sure she my dinner is taken care of, she doesn't stay out too late, she makes sure she calls or text me and she usually would tell me about the dinner or yumcha beforehand.

Being 'an outgoing person' is just a shit excuse if she's not managing her partner's expectations.

If being a popular social butterfly is the most important thing in life at the moment, then just be honest about it and stay unattached.

I wouldn't want to date a girl who demands that I make room for other guys to occupy her mind in the first place. Waste of my time, waste of my money, waste of my efforts.
w19
post Sep 13 2018, 04:23 AM

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Are you serious in this relationship please? If yes, avoid. Male is wolf, day or night no different! Beside that, it takes two to make a quarrel!
ChaNzy
post Sep 16 2018, 12:32 AM

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It depends on the individual.

I often hung out 1 on 1 with my close female friend some time back even though she had a bf. Of course, I had no intent to do anything because only an ass break others' relationships (yes, i ended up falling for her but still kept it to myself until now).

But beware, no guys can be truly close to a girl without developing feelings.

Intrigue
post Oct 1 2018, 02:11 PM

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A BIG NO!

Trust me... This and that.. bound to have fireworks.

You on diet but KFC drumstick in front your mouth everyday, one day you also take a bite la. No such thing as friend 1:1 go out.
kirakun
post Oct 1 2018, 02:29 PM

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QUOTE(Intrigue @ Oct 1 2018, 02:11 PM)
A BIG NO!

Trust me... This and that.. bound to have fireworks.

You on diet but KFC drumstick in front your mouth everyday, one day you also take a bite la. No such thing as friend 1:1 go out.
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Hahaha. But this i totally agree. Talking about trust devil.gif ? Rather believe in prevention rather than waiting for the cure.

We are all human after all. Not robot lol.
Intrigue
post Oct 1 2018, 02:49 PM

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QUOTE(kirakun @ Oct 1 2018, 02:29 PM)
Hahaha. But this i totally agree. Talking about trust devil.gif ? Rather believe in prevention rather than waiting for the cure.

We are all human after all. Not robot lol.
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Im a guy as well.. when girl willing to go out 1:1 on a late night movie date, my first thing is piak piak. Definitely won't send her home. Bestfriend? Nahhh.. if this doesn't wander into mind, im abnormal. Btw, been there done that. When oppo willing. There is certain percentage that they somehow willing to ONS when all the variables fall into place eg. Correct mood, environment, etc
Intrigue
post Oct 1 2018, 03:58 PM

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QUOTE(BUrninDesIR3 @ Oct 1 2018, 03:36 PM)
I've been told by my awek USUALLY a gay guy will hang out with 3 persons total. Very rare gay will hang out 1-1.
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1 guy 2 girl or 2 guy 1 girl i deemed it most likely friendzone.

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