Welcome Guest ( Log In | Register )

Bump TopicReply to this topicRSS feed Start new topic

Outline · [ Standard ] · Linear+

> Should i breakup or forgive

jrrsim
post Aug 10 2018, 11:04 AM

Casual
***
Group: Junior Member
Posts: 463

Joined: Apr 2014
From: everywhere. Global Citizen
why did u check her phone???? that was the biggest mistake.. now i feel break up is inevitable eventually.. you'll never be able to forget what u saw and it will haunt you forever..
guanlee_ooi
post Aug 10 2018, 11:39 AM

New Member
*
Group: Junior Member
Posts: 28

Joined: Dec 2013
QUOTE(sadboyz00 @ Aug 10 2018, 08:56 AM)
I think we are both victim. I just want to know how I can forgive what she done and how to forget. I feel imbalance of how she cheated me.
*
She is victim because of you, you are victim because of you too, who to blame? then u felt wrong and your apologize can be accepted, others cant?
u cant forgive, but u still dont let her go, at last she is still the victim, then u still think u are the victim too?
just say y u are the victim? wtf

loutze
post Aug 10 2018, 12:02 PM

Casual
***
Group: Junior Member
Posts: 408

Joined: Apr 2012
QUOTE(jrrsim @ Aug 10 2018, 11:04 AM)
why did u check her phone???? that was the biggest mistake.. now i feel break up is inevitable eventually.. you'll never be able to forget what u saw and it will haunt you forever..
*
bangwall.gif

when want to gain back TRUST in relationship, TS made it much more worst. GG
marcus_bread
post Aug 10 2018, 02:57 PM

Casual
***
Group: Junior Member
Posts: 362

Joined: May 2010
QUOTE(sadboyz00 @ Aug 10 2018, 09:53 AM)
FYI I already quit gaming. I know I am wrong at first place but I already admitted my mistake to her yet she choose to cheated on me, I feel hard to accept that.
*
cant accept then just break up la...
don drag here n there. don waste ur n ppl time.
just move on n treat ur next gf better.
end of story n close thread. bruce.gif bruce.gif bruce.gif
sadboyz00
post Aug 10 2018, 03:51 PM

New Member
*
Group: Newbie
Posts: 0

Joined: Jul 2018
QUOTE(jrrsim @ Aug 10 2018, 11:04 AM)
why did u check her phone???? that was the biggest mistake.. now i feel break up is inevitable eventually.. you'll never be able to forget what u saw and it will haunt you forever..
*
Because I want to know why he chooses me and what is the reason she choose to break with that dog (guy sry typo).
Castreal
post Aug 10 2018, 04:09 PM

Getting Started
**
Group: Junior Member
Posts: 84

Joined: Sep 2007


QUOTE(sadboyz00 @ Aug 10 2018, 08:29 AM)
» Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «

*
If you want to move forward together, you have to forget the past.
And if you LOVE her enough to see the bigger picture, you would already have forgiven her, knowing that she is with you now. As I've mentioned before, she suffered a lot too from your selfish acts. If both of you want to move forward don't hold on to the past. Else you will be holding that piece of the past as a bomb everytime both of you argue in the future, and one day when you just throw too much of these past bombs at the relationship, it will break.

These words you said "trying my best to save the relationship that time? Is that that time HE don't love me at all while everyday see my SMS and chats? Dont have feeling at all? I can't find a reason for these questions " I can imagine her saying them when she was ignored.

Thing is, time changes people, and people grow and mature (hopefully in your case). How she use to treat you might change, how you treat her might change, both of you might loose the details of showing love to each other, its normal. Which is why I advised you to read up on the Languages of Love, how each person perceives being loved. So you will know how to love each other and they will feel the same.

So, to recap, if you want to move on, forget the past, never hold it against her (its not her fault), its a bomb that will destroy any relationship.
hitz
post Aug 10 2018, 04:18 PM

Getting Started
**
Group: Junior Member
Posts: 204

Joined: Sep 2006
If i'm the girl for sure will dump you and friendzone u gao gao...
univega900
post Aug 10 2018, 05:58 PM

New Member
*
Group: Junior Member
Posts: 44

Joined: Jun 2005


i'm surprise that this forum still going-on.


TS please stay single for all your life.

kietto
post Aug 10 2018, 06:00 PM

Getting Started
**
Group: Junior Member
Posts: 145

Joined: May 2013
please dont hurt the next innocence girl and always be single

This post has been edited by kietto: Aug 10 2018, 06:01 PM
axtray
post Aug 10 2018, 06:11 PM

Casual
***
Group: Junior Member
Posts: 418

Joined: Mar 2009
Probably the cringiest shit I've ever read on CC.

Not gonna be surprised if TS's just trolling.

If this is "somehow" true, I'd suggest you go and become a monk and leave a secluded life deep in the mountain with your laptop or something. lol

This post has been edited by axtray: Aug 10 2018, 06:13 PM
Ralna
post Aug 10 2018, 08:47 PM

Getting Started
**
Group: Junior Member
Posts: 86

Joined: Sep 2012


QUOTE(sadboyz00 @ Aug 10 2018, 08:29 AM)
Now, she really didn't contact the other guy already, I know in future she won't also. She asks me to forgive her and don't think about her old mistakes and accept her again. But I don't know how to totally accept her now as she cheated me so many times before.

In earlier, she told me they are just friends and the guy younger than her and they impossible become couple. But few weeks later, they become like couple (the time when I keep apologize to her and tell her how much I love her and ask her comeback to me).

I feel so imbalance to accept her now because how can she accept another guy when I everyday SMS and call her and she knows I still loves her. She know my selfish behaviour,  If she chooses to be with another guy, I won't accept her again later. That's means she never think we will together again?

She told me yes she never think she will be together with me again as she think I will never change and she hopes I can treat next girl better as she feels that I actually dont love her so I treated her so bad. But after that she feels that I really change and she can see my sincerity. After thinking, she want to be with me.

Yesterday i asked her to gave me her handphone to check. I recovered some of the old chats and I found some of their chat history. When I saw their chat, I felt so angry and disappointed. I did told my gf I am hard to accept after I saw the chat (even the chat just only say like calling each other baby, and talk about daily life things).

Ok,now she asked me to totally forget what she done to me at the past and accept the new her. She said she promise she will never ever do that again and really want to be together with me again. She said I am so good now, she hopes I won't repeat the old mistakes. So, I know now she accepted me. But I felt so imbalance of what she done to me.

I know it was my mistake of this broken relationship, but what i cares and feel hard to accept her now is why she choose to be in relationship with others when I trying my best to save the relationship that time? Is that that time she don't love me at all while everyday see my SMS and chats? Dont have feeling at all? I can't find a reason for these questions so I feel so hard to totally forgive what she done to me.

I hope forumers here can give me some opinions.
*
You're trying too hard to keep a relationship that is long gone. The damage is done, the cracks are there, and her heart isn't the same. What's keeping you two together is you are each other's first love, but the next time when you have major quarrels again, or when she is more mature/ sick and tired of you, she'll walk out of this relationship and be with another guy.

Now she's back to you coz of her conscience. You used emotional & moral blackmail to control her ("I'm your bf, how can you do this to me??!"). She knew she didn't break up with you properly before she started seeing other guys, and hence the apology and all that, but the next time you're at fault/ hurt her again...

You cannot control her thoughts. She will miss that guy eventually, and will still contact him. Even if she doesn't, he will contact her eventually. IMO, she has feelings for the guy, otherwise they wouldn't be hugging, kissing or calling each other baby. That guy has a special place in her heart, because you weren't there when she needed you the most. You ignored her and left her alone in the relationship. You were missing in action for years, leaving her single and available. & now, you forced the two of them to "break up".

Well, I don't think this relationship will last long. You two are temporarily at peace with each other, before the next fight happens. & you won't be able to trust her fully coz of her "past betrayal" and the constant thought of her "betraying you again" will always be there. The paranoia will always be there, haunting you, and if you two quarrel again, you will bring this matter up again, coz you can't forgive and forget it.

You are a relationship bully, while she's too soft-hearted like a doormat. If you don't have plans to marry her, please let her go. She deserves a better man who treats her with respect and preserves her dignity, and a happier relationship that lasts for a lifetime. Sadly, you can't give her either. You had 10 years to treasure and cherish her, but you didn't. You took her for granted, assuming that she'd always be there for you though you treated her like shit.

Accept this: She only has some nostalgic feelings for you (first love & bf), but she doesn't love you anymore.

You hurt her too much, and will continue to do so, coz selfish people will always go around hurting other people. Your biggest mistake is to waste 10 years of her youth on a selfish guy like you, so if you truly love her, set her free.

Heard of this saying before?

If you love someone, set her free.
If she ever comes back, she's yours.
If she doesn't, she never was.


Set her free, and put your relationship to test. A relationship that is one-sided (now you're holding on it) won't work in the long run. Your relationship is not genuine, and she will need to decide for herself if she truly wants to be with you, without facing any time pressure or emotional blackmail from you. Even if she says no in the end, respect her choice and her free will, and you'll have to move on after that.

This post has been edited by Ralna: Aug 10 2018, 08:49 PM
sadboyz00
post Aug 11 2018, 05:16 PM

New Member
*
Group: Newbie
Posts: 0

Joined: Jul 2018
QUOTE(Ralna @ Aug 10 2018, 08:47 PM)
You're trying too hard to keep a relationship that is long gone. The damage is done, the cracks are there, and her heart isn't the same. What's keeping you two together is you are each other's first love, but the next time when you have major quarrels again, or when she is more mature/ sick and tired of you, she'll walk out of this relationship and be with another guy.

Now she's back to you coz of her conscience. You used emotional & moral blackmail to control her ("I'm your bf, how can you do this to me??!"). She knew she didn't break up with you properly before she started seeing other guys, and hence the apology and all that, but the next time you're at fault/ hurt her again...

You cannot control her thoughts. She will miss that guy eventually, and will still contact him. Even if she doesn't, he will contact her eventually. IMO, she has feelings for the guy, otherwise they wouldn't be hugging, kissing or calling each other baby. That guy has a special place in her heart, because you weren't there when she needed you the most. You ignored her and left her alone in the relationship. You were missing in action for years, leaving her single and available. & now, you forced the two of them to "break up".

Well, I don't think this relationship will last long. You two are temporarily at peace with each other, before the next fight happens. & you won't be able to trust her fully coz of her "past betrayal" and the constant thought of her "betraying you again" will always be there. The paranoia will always be there, haunting you, and if you two quarrel again, you will bring this matter up again, coz you can't forgive and forget it.

You are a relationship bully, while she's too soft-hearted like a doormat. If you don't have plans to marry her, please let her go. She deserves a better man who treats her with respect and preserves her dignity, and a happier relationship that lasts for a lifetime. Sadly, you can't give her either. You had 10 years to treasure and cherish her, but you didn't. You took her for granted, assuming that she'd always be there for you though you treated her like shit.

Accept this: She only has some nostalgic feelings for you (first love & bf), but she doesn't love you anymore.

You hurt her too much, and will continue to do so, coz selfish people will always go around hurting other people. Your biggest mistake is to waste 10 years of her youth on a selfish guy like you, so if you truly love her, set her free.

Heard of this saying before?

If you love someone, set her free.
If she ever comes back, she's yours.
If she doesn't, she never was.


Set her free, and put your relationship to test. A relationship that is one-sided (now you're holding on it) won't work in the long run. Your relationship is not genuine, and she will need to decide for herself if she truly wants to be with you, without facing any time pressure or emotional blackmail from you. Even if she says no in the end, respect her choice and her free will, and you'll have to move on after that.
*
Thanks for Ur words. Actually she tells me now she have 6/10 feelings on me but it can increased to 10/10 as before as time going. She said because long time we didn't call and chat so now sometimes she feels hard to chat and talk everything with me like last time. But if we keep contact, she sure the feeling will come back.

She asked me don't leave her but I insisted I want to contact the other girl because I feel sad for what she has done on me and that's the only way for me to forget her. Then she told me I can go ahead to contact the girl even she feels sad if I do that.

She told me if I really can't forgive her then we should breakup as she told me I will never trust her again even she changed already. But actually I can forgive, but I need some more times.

Yesterday we called for more than 2.30hours. we talked a lot about her family issues that she never tell me before. A lot of money issue that she never have the courage to tell me before also. I feel that she is the girl I want and I want marry with her, but to make me feels better , still I don't want to forgive her so soon. Am I really selfish enough for this? I guess yes but I can't control my mind, I think I have to let her know the lesson before I forgive her. Am I right to do that?


cc980024
post Aug 12 2018, 03:00 PM

Getting Started
**
Group: Junior Member
Posts: 223

Joined: Aug 2009
The more I read, the more I feel this relationship won't work.
At first she say can forget that guy, give her few days time. Then say she love u 6/10. Then both of u, at times u say can let go if she not keen to forget that guy. Then she say ok to breakup if u cannot take it.

TS, don't u know ..love don't come with numbers! Love won't even sound like boleh ada, boleh takda...when both of u say want each other but ok to break up.
I think both of u don't quite understand love. You are just bind by the past relationship that both of u thought is real as those wasted quite many years.

When she say 6/10 love u, don't u see this as not love..is just a like. If u already know this person for so long and still let time to force u love him, thats not genuine. As for yourself, u have not found another girl that treats u as nice as she did (old times) that make u think she is the best for u. This relationship have gone into an unfavourable mode. It is better to split and meanwhile let both find for other guy/gal. Who knows, u may get someone who give u a brand new feel of love. Or if both of u meant to be, few years later will get bk again.

This post has been edited by cc980024: Aug 12 2018, 03:01 PM
lcs89
post Aug 13 2018, 04:53 PM

New Member
*
Group: Junior Member
Posts: 42

Joined: Sep 2008
selfish bastard ... she waited u for so long ... and u dont appreciate her ... get together again because same uni ...... what .. a tool to feel ur emptiness ? you are the most selfish guy ever ... you dont deserve her ...
Ralna
post Aug 13 2018, 11:50 PM

Getting Started
**
Group: Junior Member
Posts: 86

Joined: Sep 2012


QUOTE(sadboyz00 @ Aug 11 2018, 05:16 PM)
Thanks for Ur words. Actually she tells me now she have 6/10 feelings on me but it can increased to 10/10 as before as time going. She said because long time we didn't call and chat so now sometimes she feels hard to chat and talk everything with me like last time. But if we keep contact, she sure the feeling will come back.

She asked me don't leave her but I insisted I want to contact the other girl because I feel sad for what she has done on me and that's the only way for me to forget her. Then she told me I can go ahead to contact the girl even she feels sad if I do that.

She told me if I really can't forgive her then we should breakup as she told me I will never trust her again even she changed already. But actually I can forgive, but I need some more times.

Yesterday we called for more than 2.30hours. we talked a lot about her family issues that she never tell me before. A lot of money issue that she never have the courage to tell me before also. I feel that she is the girl I want and I want marry with her, but to make me feels better , still I don't want to forgive her so soon. Am I really selfish enough for this? I guess yes but I can't control my mind, I think I have to let her know the lesson before I forgive her. Am I right to do that?
*
You contact the other girl so that you can forgive your gf eventually?? This is a contradiction.

You're not forgiving her. You're punishing her and taking your sweet revenge on her.
This is not love. If you love your girl, you won't wanna hurt her this way.

You don't love her. You're just being possessive. You see her as your belonging/ property, and assume she's yours always. That's why when she dated other guy, you felt betrayed, when in fact, it was you who neglected her for years in the first place. & now you wanna punish her?

Loving couples, no matter how bitter their fight is, will never intentionally hurt or punish each other by involving 3rd parties or neglecting/ignoring one another. If you are still angry with her, talk things out or read books on relationship counselling, NOT go and date another girl.

This is clearly a toxic relationship. Your jealousy, anger and selfishness are ruining the relationship. You don't know how to truly love a woman. You keep blaming her and pointing your finger at her, but it was you who ruined your own relationship in the first place, and now you keep hurting her further instead of atoning for your past mistakes.

Your promises mean nothing ("I will treat her good. I will love her always etc") coz your actions speak otherwise ("I insisted on contacting another girl. I don't wanna forgive her. I must teach her a lesson.").

You have such inflated ego. When there's huge ego in the relationship, both partners suffer. You love yourself the most, and your gf is never your priority.

12 Pages « < 10 11 12Top
Bump TopicReply to this topicTopic OptionsStart new topic
 

Switch to:
| Lo-Fi Version
0.0699sec    5.78    5 queries    GZIP Disabled
Time is now: 17th August 2018 - 12:20 AM